BLACK TIGER | YOONMIN

Regret

"We could have been happy. I know that, and it is perhaps the hardest thing to know." Allie Condie.

One of the hardest feelings is to be sleepy without the ability to actually sleep.

The dorm was calm, all the agents were maybe already having their third dream of the night. It was dark and there was a gentle breeze coming from the window. The perfect atmosphere to have a good night sleep.

But I couldn't.

Hoseok's bed was empty once again. I wonder how many missions he gets per week. He at least could have helped me sleep, I don't know but there is something about him that makes me feel secure. His comforting words and his calm voice sooth me and always manage to help me forget.

I closed my eyes and saw them again.

Junsun and Heonwoo were everything I had in my life, besides my mother of course. They were my right and left arm, the two men I loved the most on earth.

The three of us were together for years, we lived the good things and endured the bad ones. We always helped each other when someone was having a hard time and we always celebrated one's happiness.

I never ever imagined the day they would betray me would ever come.

They were the closest people to me, they knew I had a hard time trusting people because of my father, they knew that I was sensitive when it comes to treason and disloyalty.

How could they do this to me?

But, the real question is...

How could I do that to them?

I opened my eyes and I felt tears falling on my face. I really wished all the things I have done were only a part of a nightmare. I really wished I could wake up next to him again and stay in his arms for the rest of my life.

But who knew that life could be the real nightmare?

I sat on my bed and stared at the other agents. I wondered how they could sleep when they also killed someone, I envied them for being forgetful.

I still wasn't close to any of them so, I couldn't ask someone to help me or talk to me. Even Taehyung and Jungkook were sleeping in the other dorm, so I couldn't go there.

I was having a hard time breathing, I felt suffocated inside the big room. I really needed some fresh air so, I got up and put on a t-shirt before leaving.

The lights turned up every time I took a step in the corridor. I must say that I am impressed by Namjoon's work because he thought about everything in order to make his agents comfortable.

I still don't know anything about him, but one things I'm sure about is that he takes all his time to listen to people and help them do what's better for them. He's not judgmental, which is a very high quality in my opinion.

The terrasse door was open, I walked towards it and spotted someone sitting on a small table.

I recognized the Black Tiger because of his all leather outfit. He was peacefully smoking his cigarette, his eyes resting on the moonlight, but his mind travelling elsewhere.

I hesitated to come in first, but I don't have any reason to fear him. Plus, it's not like this building belongs to him.

I decided not to talk because I thought it's the best way to avoid having anything to do with him.

I calmly walked next to him, I saw him lift his head and that's the moment when I felt my body completely freezing.

There was something about his stare, I felt his eyes pierce my soul with just one look.

He slowly looked away, proving that he didn't care about my presence.

I took a breath and walked to the balcony overlooking the garden surrounding the building. I put my hands on the iron bar and closed my eyes to enjoy the evening breeze better.

The weather was nice, neither hot nor cold, that kind of weather when you would like to walk near the sea or go for a motorcycle ride around the city.

In other times, it would have been perfect. I would have asked Junsun to go for a walk and he would have bought us our favorite ice-cream to eat it while we're walking. Or maybe, I would have called Heonwoo and told him to meet in the park we used to play at when we were kids. We would have spent the night there, sitting on the swings, drinking a fresh beer and talking about life.

Yes, it would have been perfect.

But I killed them.

I killed the two men who would have made me happy in these nights. I killed them with the hands that used to hug them and hold them tight, the hands that used to text them every day that I loved them, the hands they used to kiss when I was feeling down.

I killed them.

I felt my chest tighten and the tears started falling on my cheeks.

When I cried there was a rawness to it, like the pain was still an open wound. I put my hand on my heart and let all the wave of my emotions come out with the form of tears. As much as I tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from my throat in the form of a silent scream. I hit the iron bar and tried to scream, but it seemed like my voice melted along with my heart.

I saw two gloved hands clutching on the bar. I turned my head and saw the Black Tiger standing beside me. He stared at me with his cold eyes.

I don't know what he was looking at, but I know that when I cry it's not pretty. My eyes must be red and swollen.

He didn't say a single word, he just kept staring at me until my sobs disappeared.

As for me, I was unable to speak, unable to breath, nothing. I felt a weight in my chest and a lock in my throat.

The pain in the back of my mind was killing me slowly, their smiles appeared before my eyes but his stare was stronger. This strange guy managed to chase the horrible thoughts from my brain.

He opened his thin lips, ready to say something when I felt two arms around my waist. "Jiminie!"

I turned my head and saw an orange-haired smiling widely to me. His smile immediately faded when he saw my tears. "Hey... what's wrong?" he asked with a soft voice and his eyes landed on the Black Tiger. He frowned, "Did he say something to you?!"

I shook my head, "No." I cringed because my voice came out like a squeal.

"Aw Jiminie." he pouted and took me in his arms.

That simple contact made me lose control of my tears once again. I rested my head on his chest and sobbed unstoppably, hands clutching at his suit jacket. I heard him sighing as he held me, rocking me slowly.

I heard footsteps, I opened my eyes and saw the Black Tiger leaving. My vision was blurred with the tears, but I followed him with my stare until he completely disappeared.

"Let's go to sleep Jiminie." Hoseok whispered to me and placed a gentle kiss on my head.

~~

The next morning, I had to wake up early because I had a training appointment with Jungkook.

I quickly put on my gym shorts and t-shirt and headed to the cafeteria.

I found the four guys sitting together again, their laughs were so loud that it was heard in the entire space.

I chuckled and walked to their table.

"Morning." I mumbled before sitting next to Hoseok.

"Good morniing!" Jackson smiled to me. "Did you sleep well?"

I rubbed the back of my neck, "Yeah." I lied.

My tray was already on the table, Hoseok got used to order my breakfast before I wake up.

"Kook, I got your strawberry milk." Taehyung placed a bottle in front of his boyfriend. "I had to fight with the lunch lady so that she gives it to me."

I saw Jungkook blushing. I bet he was embarrassed that his boyfriend treated him like a baby when he was supposed to he our coach.

"Thanks." he whispered and gave him a soft smile.

Ahh, love...

...is a bullshit.

I stared at Taehyung, he was wearing a classy black and white striped shirt with rolled up sleeves, showing a nice watch of the same brand as the rest of his clothes.

This guy seems to like Gucci a lot.

I keep on wondering what kind of missions these guys do to become that rich.

"Jiminie, you should eat." I heard Hoseok saying.

I nodded and bit the chocolate roll.

The food here was surprisingly better than the faculty's cafeteria. I should maybe compliment their chef.

The guys were talking about their program to watch the World Cup together while I was eating my breakfast.

Then, I turned my head and spotted him sitting in a corner.

The Black Tiger was alone in his table, peacefully reading a book while drinking his Americano. He wasn't wearing his leather uniform, this time he opted for a long-sleeved black sweater, ripped trousers and a black cap.

I wondered how he could wear long sleeves while it was hot.

As expected, he wasn't talking to anyone. He was living in his own world, ignoring every existence.

I remembered the night before, how he unexpectedly stood beside me when I was crying. I still don't understand why he did it, or why he kept staring at me without saying anything. Also, I was curious about what he was finally going to tell me before Hoseok interrupted us.

In the end, I don't believe he really wanted to talk. The guys told me before that he never spoke to anyone besides Namjoon whom he talks about work with.

I know that I came here only two days ago, but I can't help wondering why every one fears him. Yes, I understands that he's cold and prefers to keep a distance, but I don't get why everyone is scared of him. He doesn't look that bad to me.

I mean, just look at him now, he's silently reading his book, he's not harming anyone.

For a moment, my friend's laughter became like a background sound because I was too focused on the Black Tiger.

I couldn't help watching how he slowly flipped the pages like they were the most fragile things, how he sipped his coffee elegantly, how his eyes concentrated on the words, how he pressed his lips when he read something maybe confusing...

"Jiminie." I felt someone shaking my arm. I turned my head and saw everyone staring at me confusingly. "What's wrong?" Hoseok asked.

"O-oh?" I awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck.

I look so stupid right now.

"Nothing." I smiled.

"It's time for training." Jungkook told me. "It's better if we go early before the gym gets full."

"Yeah, you're right." I took my tray and placed it on the counter before following Jungkook.

When I walked next to the Black Tiger's table, he lifted his head and stared at me for like three seconds before looking at his book once again.

His stares.

~~

The gym was still empty as expected.

We took the opportunity to train well. He showed me some weightlifting machines, some of them I didn't dare to try before. He gave me tips to use them without hurting my muscles and working well every part of my body.

When he was talking, I could see that he really loved what he was doing. How he explained to me why I should work out often and why I should eat healthily just proved that he made this more of a lifestyle than an actual job. He didn't look tired of coaching people, he seemed to love it.

I understood better why Taehyung said he was very nice, also I see why he loves him.

I was sweating like crazy after I finished with the weights. I drank an entire bottle of water and followed Jungkook to the other room.

"We'll continue the self-defence program we started yesterday." he told me.

From all the things I've been learning and seeing since I came to this company. I understood that the missions have something to do with fights.

I already knew what a secret agent does, but it seems like this kind of agents is more dangerous than the movies.

I wiped the sweat with a clean towel and stood in front of him in the middle of the large blue carpet.

"Okay, so I want you to remember one thing." he started. "When some one suddenly attacks you, you don't have enough time to think and act. Before your attacker gains full control of you, you must do everything you can to defend yourself from any sort of harm. To do so, you should aim for the parts of the body where you can do the most damage easily."

"I nodded, "The nose and the groin." I said.

"Not only those two." he said. "You can also aim for the eyes, the ears, the neck and the legs."

"Okay, noted." I said.

"Let's do a demonstration. You will be the attacker and I'm going to defend myself. Just to show you how quickly and smoothly you should act."

I nodded and threw the towel on the floor.

I looked at him and laughed awkwardly, not knowing from where to start. I honestly didn't know how to attack people.

I may have killed two people this week, but it doesn't mean that I'm good at this stuff.

"Just attack me, don't be afraid." he said. "Just pretend."

I took a breath and walked toward him, I raised my arm and pretended like I was going to hit him when he suddenly grabbed my wrist, turned me over and pressed me against his body, putting an arm around my neck, leaving me no chance to escape. "You should always keep your eyes concentrated on the attacker's weapon. Yours was your fist, so I didn't let you the chance to use it on me."

Great.

"Okay, but can I do this to my attacker?" I asked.

"Do what?"

"This." I bit his arm and he let out a loud scream before letting me go.

I looked at him and burst out laughing. He seemed too surprised, staring at my bite on his arm.

"I mean, you told me that I should defend myself so..." I shrugged.

He stared at me in disbelief and started laughing too, "You're a whole new level." he shook his head. "I've been training men and women during two years and no one ever bite me."

"There is a first for everything." I chuckled.

"Okay." Jungkook clapped his hands. "Let's do it again."

I nodded.

This time I wanted to attack stronger, so I moved toward him and kicked his leg. I knew he was aiming to grab it, that's why I acted quickly and moved my arm to his face when he suddenly pushed me strong enough to fall on the floor.

I felt my elbow hurting, the carpet wasn't soft so it scratched my skin and made him bleed a little bit.

"Oh, my... I-I'm so sorry!" Jungkook knelt beside me and looked at me with horrified eyes. "I didn't mean to."

"It's alright!" I smiled. "It's just a little scratch."

"You're bleeding..." he took my arm to examine it and I noticed that his hands were shaking. I raised an eyebrow and looked at his face, I know that a normal coach wouldn't worry that much about it, he would tell me that it's good to get hurt in order to learn more, but the look on Jungkook's face made me more worried about me than myself. He was so scared and stressed that he didn't hear me when I kept repeating that it was alright.

"Jungkook." I squeezed his shoulder, "I am really alright." I stared right into his eyes. "Please, don't worry."

"B-but." he nervously rubbed his neck. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know." I nodded.

No, he wasn't feeling good at all judging from how his face turned pale.

"Let's a break." I proposed. "We'll continue later, okay?"

He slowly nodded and sat on the floor, shyly playing with his hands.

I looked for the first-aid kit and quickly put some ointment on the scratch before going back to sit with him.

I observed how the sweat formed quickly on his face, how his lips dried and how he kept shaking his legs from nervousness. I don't know anything about him, but I felt like when he pushed me, it revived a memory he shouldn't have remembered.

"Jungkook." I decided to break the silence.

"Y-yeah?" He couldn't look at me, he kept staring at his hands.

"How did you come to this company?" I asked.

"You mean who did I kill, right?" he said with a quiet voice.

"I don't... I don't like asking it this way." I frowned. "But yeah, that's what I meant. But if you don't want to talk about it, you're right."

He stayed silent for a moment before he finally took the courage to lift his head and stare at me. "Three years ago, I was in my last year of high school and I was always bullied." he started. "The guys didn't like me because I was born in a rich family and was one of the best students. They were jealous so, they didn't leave me in peace. I lost all of my friends because of them, they wouldn't let me talk to anyone or let any of the students approach me." he sighed and I could see the sadness on his face. "One night, they followed me after I left the music academy. They cornered me somewhere and pushed me against a wall, they started beating me and kicking my body until I couldn't feel anything anymore."

I saw tears form in his eyes, I could feel the pain he was feeling, remembering his dark past.

"They punched on the face and almost break my bones because of the countless times they kicked me." he took a breath before continuing, "At a moment, I was feeling like screaming, I wanted that to stop so, I didn't know how it happened or what occurred to me, I wanted to push one of the guys who attacked me, but my anger made me stronger than I thought, when I pushed him, he hit his head on the wall and died on the spot."

It explained clearly why he was so scared after he pushed me.

"I just... I just wanted to defend myself and I ended up killing someone." he cried.

I pressed my lips and approached him. I placed my arm around him and let him rest his head on my shoulder.

Anger makes you do the most unpredictable things.

"What happened after?" I asked with a quiet voice. "You were only defending yourself, so I'm sure you didn't have to deal with jail and stuff."

He nodded, "I was also a minor." he said. "But the real jail was what my life became after that incident." he sighed.

"What happened?"

"Everyone hated me at school. They called me a murderer, they treated me like s**t. But what really broke me was when they attacked my parents too. They would throw stones at them, insult them and treat them of criminals."

I frowned, "People are stupid." I mumbled coldly.

"That's when Namjoon hyung came to me." he added. "He asked me if I wanted to come with him to Bullet & Co. I had no choice but to accept because I wanted to do anything to escape from that hell."

"Namjoon hyung sure saves people in the best moment." I sighed, remembering how he stopped me from turning myself into the police.

We stayed like this for a long moment, without saying anything. Both, thinking about our own concerns.

People started showing up, so we stood up and left to the showers.

~~

After the training, I had nothing to do, Hoseok and Taehyung were busy with work so I headed to the library.

As I said before, I am impressed that Namjoon thought about everything. The library was occupying a large space up in the building. You could find books in all genres and languages.

I picked a random novel from the romance section and laid on the couch to start reading.

I spent the entire afternoon there, I read almost half of the book, I couldn't stop, chapter after chapter, I was impatient to know what was going to happen.

It was 6 pm when I finally left to the library.

I went to the reception hall to look for Hoseok when I saw the news on the TV.

"The Seoul police is still looking for the young student who killed his two friends. We are asking from anyone who happened to witness or see anything suspicious to go to the station."

I gulped.

I always dreamed of being on the TV, I imagined how it would be if I ever become a popular dancer. I pictured myself responding to questions over my successful career during interviews.

Who knew I would be popular that soon...

But this time, I wasn't a successful dancer, I was a murderer.

The TV turned off and I felt an arm around my shoulders. I lifted my head and saw Namjoon smiling to me. I would be lying if I said his dimples weren't charming.

"I heard you were in the library, did you find an interesting book?" he asked.

"Yeah, Jane Eyre." I answered.

"Oh, a classic." he nodded. "Charlotte Brontë is one of my favorite writers."

"Same here."

He stared at me and felt I wasn't feeling that good after watching the news.

"I was going to tell you something, but it can wait." he said. "You should maybe eat and go to sleep."

"No, I'm alright just tell me."

He nodded and crossed his arms, "I thought maybe I could send you on your first mission, just to have an idea of how it works.."

I started at him with wide eyes, "Really?! Can I? But, I'm still training.."

"It's just a simple mission, don't worry?"

"When is it?" I asked, impatiently.

He laughed, "You look so excited." he ruffled my hair. "It's actually tonight, but you don't look well so maybe another time."

"No!" I shook my hands, "I'm alright, really."

"Can you really do it?" he asked, looking right into my eyes.

I nodded.

"Alright, you should change first. You're going to a five-star hotel, so you need a fancy suit."

"From where do I get it?"

"From the responsible of clothing, just ask for Jennie." he answered.

"Okay!" I exckaimed. "But I'm not going alone, right?"

He chuckled, "Of course not, don't worry."

"Am I going with Hoseok then?"

"No, he's busy tonight. You're going with the Black Tiger."

My smile immediately faded. "What? Are you serious?"

Namjoon simply nodded.

"But why? Can't I go with someone else?"

He sighed and put his hands on my shoulders, "Jimin, you should know that it's not easy for a newbie to start his first mission. The other agents might get distracted, but the Black Tiger is a professional, he's the only one who can protect if anything happens."

I crossed my arms and pressed my lips. Being alone with him suddenly made me so nervous. His charisma was no joke, I didn't know how can I spend hours with him tonight.

"Go change, okay?" Namjoon interrupted my thoughts. "He'll be waiting for you outside."

~~

I took a shower and headed to the office Namjoon told me about. I knocked and entered to be welcomed by a room full of clothes. Suits, dresses, leather jackets, even Hanboks were hung in the big wardrobe.

I saw a girl sitting in the desk, she was typing something on the laptop keyboard.

"Uhm excuse me." I cleared my throat. "Are you Jennie?"

The brown-haired girl lifted her head and widened her eyes when she saw me. She didn't say anything, she kept staring at me until I wondered if I had something on my face.

"Uh excuse me?" I waved my hands.

"O-oh? Yeah, I'm Jennie." she smiled awkwardly.

I nodded and gave her a note Namjoon wrote for me.

"Going on your first mission." she smiled. "Oh." she widened her eyes, "You're going with the Black Tiger, so unlucky." she giggled.

"Yeah, I know." I rolled my eyes.

"So, your name?"

"Park Jimin."

"Okay." I saw her opening a file on her laptop. "Park Jimin, 1995, from Busan." she said. "I'm younger than you, can I call you oppa?" she pouted.

Do you think I have time for this?

"Uhm, please I can't be late." I said.

"Oh, true." she immediately stood up and started looking in the wardrobe. "Or else he will kill you." she laughed.

"Here!" she gave me a light blue shirt with colored patterns.

Damn, Gucci.

"This shirt goes with these." she gave me a pair of nocturne blue trousers, "And this." she added a pair of horsebit leather loafer shoes.

"Thanks." I bowed and quickly left to the dorm.

I dressed up and stared at the mirror, I was surprised because I looked different. I was so used to my sweaters and hoodies, seeing myself in such fancy clothes was something new to me.

"You look good." Namjoon surprised me from behind. "He's waiting for you outside."

I nodded and smiled nervously to him.

"Look." he grabbed my arm. "Don't worry, okay? Everything's going to be alright."

"I know." I said.

He smiled, "You can go now."

I asked him about the mission, but he said that the Black Tiger was going to explain everything to me.

Can you believe it? Everyone knows he doesn't talk to anyone.

I stepped outside and saw him riding a motorcycle in front of the building.

He was wearing a black silk shirt, opened to the chest, showing his pale skin. His hair was styled in a messy way, some strands covering his eyes. His gloved hands were on the grips, ready to start the vehicle.

He turned his head and looked at me.

His dark stare made my body shiver.

"What are you waiting for?" he asked with his deep voice. He titled his head, pointing to the back, "Get in."