Antigravel Omnibus 1

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

“Alien? Are you sure?” Guillermo whispered at the screen, leaning forward.

“Positive. Look, here’s what I can tell you without you signing the NDA. There’s going to be a royal visit, they asked me to find a suitable handler. And you’re the best I have,” Joaquin said simply.

“What about Francisco? Or Vicente. Vicente is good enough!” Guillermo protested.

“Vicente is a moron. I need you. I cannot state hard enough how important this is,” the teacher spat out.

“Okay. But, Joaquin, you’re still the best royalty handler there is. Why don’t you pick up the task if it’s so important?”

He sighed. “The princess… She doesn’t like old people.”

Guillermo snorted. “Old people? That’s new.” He walked across the room and picked up a towel from the cupboard.

“Laugh all you want. Yes, she says, ‘old people smell funny,’ or something like that.”

“It’s okay profesor, you’re not that old yet,” Guillermo teased.

“Will you come?” Joaquin demanded.

Guillermo squeezed the bath towel. He didn’t like to say no to his teacher, but he didn’t want to go back to handling royalty. It pained him to reject the offer, but he had made up his mind long ago. “No,” he said finally.

Zeezy strolled out of the bathroom at that point, completely naked and dripping all over the thick carpet. She turned towards the screen and saw Joaquin, who frowned at her. She beamed, “Who’s the hot daddy?” and struck a pose.

Joaquin gave an abrupt goodbye and hung up.

Guillermo passed her the towel and averted his eyes to inspect the room’s fine upholstery.

Later that day, Zeezy was huffing and puffing at a restaurant, while her friends were eating and having fun. She put her phones face down on the table.

“What’s bothering you?” Guillermo leaned down and asked.

She pointed at her three smartphones, “It’s the fans, I can’t deal with them today. I have a crazy hangover.” She rubbed her temples in circles.

Guillermo checked his agenda. “Well, that’s too bad, cause you have a meeting with a fan in two hours.”

“What? No, no, no, reschedule it.”

He shrugged. “I’m not your PR guy, I’m just here to make sure you get to the meeting. It’s from some popular blog giveaway, you can’t weasel out of it. You’ve got a contract and everything,” he said, as if it was a done deal.

Zeezy complained, “No, come on! It’s probably some boring ugly b***h again, like in New York. I’m not doing it.” She crossed her arms.

“Okay, let’s try to find a solution to this, shall we?” Guillermo said in a patronising tone. He was really worried for a minute. Zeezy was notoriously flaky, which was the precise reason he was hired to handle her. Her friends were laughing, Bobby was goofing around with a milkshake and a straw, making a mess and streaming it online to their fans. They were quasi-celebrities themselves, nowhere near Zeezy of course, but with respectable audiences. Guillermo ground his teeth and checked his watch.

He leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Hey, here’s an idea: Why don’t we move up the meeting, now that your friends are here? We can call it a surprise, she can meet both you and them. Won’t she love that?”

Zeezy mumbled, “I guess… But what good will that do?”

“You can let Bobby entertain her. Instead of having to chat her up for an hour yourself, you’ll just have to talk for a while and snatch a few selfies, then pass her on to the others.”

Zeezy thought about it for a while. “Hmm. Okay. Call up my people.”

Guillermo did nothing.

She turned around to look at him. He simply frowned at her. Then she said, quietly, “Please?”

Guillermo smiled, “Of course,” and called up the PR office.

“Get that freak away from me,” screeched Zeezy as she saw the mega-fan coming over.

Guillermo gripped her arm, “Five minutes. Give me five minutes, that’s all.” The fan ran over to Zeezy, squealing loudly, her mascara running in tears of happiness. She was dressed like Zeezy from some popular video, but she lacked the charisma to support it. It looked awkward on her, trying to be sexy in those bold designer choices.

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!” the fan yelped and touched Zeezy’s reluctant handshake. “I’m never gonna wash that hand again!” she said, excited.

Guillermo winced. She was a walking cliche. A simple girl who worshipped someone who didn’t deserve it at all. Cameras flashed, the production crew filmed the moment, selfies were snatched and uploaded in extreme efficiency like a manufacturing plant. Zeezy fake-smiled and yelped back at the fan, who seemed ready to pass out.

Bobby saved the day, by swooping in to get to know her and keeping her entertained. He was attractive enough for any girl to get excited, Guillermo admitted. She squealed for the ‘zumongus surprise,’ in her own words, and the party dragged on back to the hotel suite.

Guillermo took the time to rest for a while, he was on the job since early morning, doing some damage-control with the PR firm. He never actually got time-off, so he had to weigh the situation and steal as much time as he could for himself. This particular near-shipwreck seemed under control for now so he went to his room and took a shower. He hit the pillow and was asleep in no time for a blessed hour before his wake-up alarm rang.

He got into his three-piece suit once again, combed his hair and hurried up to check on Zeezy. The celebriteens would have shooed the fan out by now, it was way past the allotted hour. They weren’t going to spend another minute with that mega-fan if a contract didn’t say so. He walked inside the suite saying, “I got to admit, you were very good there Zeezy. And Bobby…” His voice trailed off.

The sight made him stop. The fangirl was in the middle of the room, barefoot and tiptoeing on broken champagne bottles. Zeezy’s friends were around her, filming and laughing at her, having written their names on her thighs and forehead. A profanity was written on her chest. She had left little footprints of blood on the thick carpet. “Come on! You said you love Zeezy. You’d do anything for her! Get across the room, now!” one of Zeezy’s friends said.

“What are you doing?” Guillermo said, barely containing his anger. He ran inside the circle, crushed glass under his shoes and picked up the fangirl.

She fought him back. “No, let me do this! I have to finish it.”

“Shut up you deluded-” Guillermo groaned and sat her down on an expensive couch. He inspected the soles of her feet, they were slashed in ribbons of skin and bleeding profusely. He pushed her back to lie down, despite her protests and pulled her feet on the handrest, above the heart level.

Zeezy rolled on the other couch and slurred, “Come on, don’t be like this. She’s fine, she likes it. We weren’t gonna upload anything anyway…” She was clearly drunk again and it was still noon.

Guillermo grabbed the first aid kit from the bathroom and tended to the girl’s feet. “This was too much,” he pointed.

“She’s fiiine…” Zeezy waved away.

“No she’s not fine. Look at me, stand up straight.” He waited for Zeezy to comply. “Good. Listen, this was too much. You went too far. It was nasty, and dangerous. I can’t work with you any more,” he said with finality, and picked up the fangirl again on his arms and walked out.

“Guilly, come on. Don’t go! Guillermo.” Zeezy’s voice faded. She screamed, “Fine then, go away you fucker! You’re fired. You hear me?”