The Guardians of Light

The Power of Love

The next day when I woke up, I was still on the Earth.

Thank God. I will meet my psychiatrist and also I'd get a chance to see Mia.

I decided not to say to my therapist about the whole other world being real. She would only see me as a delusional person.

While I sat on my bed thinking, my mother came inside and asked me to get ready.

I quickly freshened up and thought of meeting Mia after the session.

I said to my mother that I could go to meet Emma on my own. But my mother insisted on coming. So we took a cab as usual and went to see my therapist.

I loved the atmosphere in Emma's office, so I was a bit excited to meet her.

' Hey, Emma. '

' Hey, Ryan. How are you feeling? '

' Better than yesterday, I suppose. '

' Based on your mood, can I assume that you have dealt with your fear? '

' Yeah. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I met that guy who I mistook for a killer. He is one of the good guys too. His name is Dustin, a teenager like me. '

' So you have no more fears or obstacles in your new reality. '

' Everything seems fine until now. Lets hope for the best. '

' So, when you are in that place. Sorry,  what was the name of the place again? '

' Orpheus. '

' Right. So, when you are in Orpheus, do you feel nostalgic? '

' Yes and no. Sure, some aspects make me think about my parents, but I don't get homesick. In fact, I can move here and there without actually getting stuck in one place. '

' Is that true? How do you go here and there? '

' Sleep is the key. I think it acts as a doorway. Whenever I sleep, I can open the door and go to the other side and vice versa. '

' That sounds fascinating. Tell me, why do you even want to go there? '

' First of all. It's a hell of a place. I am being trained to be a field agent there. If I try harder, maybe I could make a change there, show everyone what I truly am. '

' What do you mean by a field agent? '

' I don't know about it precisely, but it's like a man in action rather than sitting behind a desk. No offense. '

' None taken. Can you show me what they have taught you? ' 

' Sure. '

I showed Emma some of the techniques Master Asahi taught me.

' Some nice moves you got there. So tell me, did you ever attend any martial arts classes in childhood? '

' Yeah, in the childhood. I enjoyed those classes a lot, but I quit later on, and the reasons are a bit blur. '

' Why were you interested in those anyway? '

' As a kid, I enjoyed watching martial arts movies. I always dreamt of being like them. As I have grown, the zeal towards it faded. But now, thanks to that dream or another reality, I have a second chance to achieve what I dreamt as a child. '

' You are still referring it as a dream. So you don't believe in it completely yet? '

I believe in it but if I confess it, you will see me as a deluded person or assume it as metaphorical. I said to myself.

' I am in a position where I can't rule out any possibility. It feels real, but I don't know if it is. '

' What is causing you the dilemma? '

' The idea of the existence of a whole another world is crazy. That is why I am not able to make up my mind. '

' I see. If you have to choose between the two worlds, which one would you choose? '

' Ooh! That's a toughie. I cannot answer that question at the moment. '

' It's alright. Tell me whenever you have an answer. So Ryan, have you ever encountered a situation where your head tells you to do one thing, and your heart tells you to do another. '

When I played the question, she asked me repeatedly in my brain one memory caught my mind.  

' Yes, indeed. I don't know the exact year, but it was December, and it was snowing. I used to have a lot of friends at that age. We all planned to gather at one of the friend's house that night and play with the snow and that sorts of stuff. I went home and told my father about this. He denied it just like that. I begged at first, then cried, but nothing moved him to change his decision. I called one of my friends through the landline and told him that my parents weren't sending me. He told me that he was going to sneak out of the house as his parents denied him too. I went into my room, and I could've snuck out of the house easily through the window. My brain didn't want to, but my heart was dying for me to. Anyway, my head won, and the next day all my friends talked about how much they enjoyed the night earlier. Playing with snow may seem very small now, but back then, playing with friends gave me the utmost happiness which my father took away from me. '

' I can understand your pain. I have dealt with a similar situation. '

' Really? '

' Yeah. I used to love chocolates when I was a child. My father denied me to eat them. But I used to buy them with the money that I saved and ate them discreetly. My father stopped me for my own good, but I couldn't understand it at that age. Due to excessive eating, I became obese. You should have seen me then, the fattest girl in the class, it was embarrassing. Listening to my heart led me to an uncomfortable position. Listening to the heart is not always a good thing, Ryan. Sometimes doing what you don't like may lead to more happiness in the future. '

' Well, at least you got to do what you want. '

' I had to face the consequences of it for two years. Two whole years of humiliation. Every one of your actions has consequences, Ryan. '

' Maybe. Also the memory you mentioned is a lot different from the memory I have said. '

' Just remember one thing, whatever has happened to you in childhood was for your own good. It is because of that you got to experience another reality. Whatever you are doing there, just try doing it here. Maybe it will give you some sense of clarity. ' 

' I guess I'll give it a try. '

' That's all for today. Call your mother and wait outside. It's good to see you, Ryan. '

' Good to see you too, Emma. '

I left the room and called my mother. I waited outside while my mother talked to her.

Jenna: Any improvement, doctor?

Emma: Ryan's mind has become so complicated that he is finding it difficult to navigate between his fantasy and reality. If he don't have anything strong to hold-on here, I'm afraid of the consequences.

Jenna: Why is he imagining another world?

Emma: He is extremely dissatisfied with the life he had here. So he is fantasizing himself in a place where he can live the life he dreamt. I suggest you reconnect with him. He is showing symptoms of a split personality. It's nothing serious now but can be in a given course of time.

Jenna: Would you recommend any pills?

Emma: Right now, all he wants is appreciation and recognition. He needs to feel like you are proud because of him. You need to find out what he desires and encourage him to do it.

Jenna: Thank you, doctor. I will try it.

Emma: It's better if your husband tries it too.

Jenna: I'll talk to him.

I already booked a cab, so when my mother came outside, we left immediately.

While going in the cab, my mother asked about how I was feeling. Since she was trying to know, I didn't want to be rude. So I replied that by saying fine.

' Sweetheart, do you remember building a dog house for Boots? '

I never thought of Boots in a long time. When she mentioned him, I began to remember bit by bits.

' Yeah. I love everything that is associated with Boots. '

' Do you remember how happy we used to be? '

' All those good days vanished, mother. They are extinct. '

' Do you ever wonder if we could be like that again? Building Legos, watching TV, reading bedtime stories. '

For a second, it felt like my loving mother was back. The moment felt so magical and filled with love that I almost forgot about all the indifference she showed me in the past.

The power of love, especially that of a mother, is so powerful and beautiful, I thought.

' Are you alright, mom? '

' No sweetheart. I am not. When I look back, all I see is how miserable I was. I would give anything if I had a chance to go back and undo every wrong I ever did. Do you believe me, sweetheart? '

She looked right in my eyes, waiting for my reply. She never looked me in the eye all these years.

When she looked me in the eye and asked if I believed, I reminisced of a similar incident with Mia at the park.

I don't know how, but I could say my mother meant every word she said. I guess I just have a knack for it.

' I think I do believe you despite everything, mom. I highly doubt that things would go as exactly as they were before, but they can be better. '

' I know it's difficult. But I have been repenting for so long, son. I want to connect with you again. Talk with you, discuss with you and even want to play with you. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for what I did. '

' It's a lot to process, mom. I don't know what to tell you, but I'll consider what you said and would definitely try to bond with you. And if you really want to help me, help Mia, her parents are getting divorced, and she would need some emotional support. You were a good mother to me in childhood. Mia can use her right now. ' 

' Anything for you sweetheart. You just name it. '

' Thank you. '

By this time, we have reached home. 

I wanted to meet Mia. I thought of going to her house but decided to call first because it wouldn't be appropriate to visit her unannounced.

I called, but it was redirecting me straight to the voicemail. So I dropped a message.

' Hey, it's Ryan. Please do call me back. I want to meet you and I just hope you are fine. '

I waited for a while expecting her call but alas there wasn't any.

I guess I'll have to check on her after my return from Orpheus.

I said to my mom that I was going to sleep and not to disturb me.

After that, I went to sleep.