Poppy's Diary

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME to write, but I want to at least get something down on paper before I head to the airport. After all, tonight could be the most important night of my life.

Everything is planned: I'm asking Kristen to marry me.

It's going to be perfect! Her plane is scheduled to land around two this afternoon, which gives us time to drive back to my place so she can shower and change. I reminded her five times to bring something dressy on this trip, but I didn't tell her why. Of course I didn't. I want it to be a surprise. I'm going to sweep her off her feet.

In the movies, every time someone gets engaged, everyone around them asks, “How did he pop the question?” It's always a “he” popping the question in the movies, isn't it? There aren't too many romantic comedies about lesbian couples. I'm not certain there are any. If there are, I've never seen them.

I'm sure everyone at Kristen's office will ask her how I proposed. And her friends and family will ask about it, obviously. So it's got to be good. It's got to be memorable. We need a story we can tell our grandchildren, if we have any. I guess we'd have to have kids if we wanted grandkids one day, but I'm not sure I can even picture myself raising a family. The idea of being a mom is kind of nice, but kind of scary. I'm not sure I've ever thought of myself in that role before. There are days when I still feel like I'm a kid.

Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself again. I do that a lot. If I try to plan what's for dinner, I end up thinking about visiting my parents next weekend. I have trouble staying on task. Always have. My mom still has my report cards from when I was little, and they all say the same thing:

Poppy has trouble concentrating in class.

Poppy has trouble staying on task.

My mind tends to wander, and it goes a mile a minute. I can't seem to slow down, except when I sleep. The moment my head hits the pillow, that's it—I'm out like a light. Kristen tells me she has entire conversations with me before realizing I've shuffled off to Dreamland.

I guess they're not really conversations, then, are they? Not if she's the only one awake for them.

Back to tonight. That's what's important right now.

Dinner is all arranged with Rajan at the hotel restaurant. He does amazing food there, and he's going to prepare the same meal me and Kristen had on our first real date, except a fancier version for me. My palate wasn't very sophisticated back then. Still isn't, but I'm learning. Doesn't help that I was raised on tinned ravioli, but I can't blame my parents too much. They were busy with their jobs. Now that I've got my gig at the hotel and Kristen has her great career in Edmonton, I can understand a little better how tired people are at the end of the day, and how it might be really hard to devote enough time to their children.

Even after all these years living independently, I'm still learning what it means to be an adult.

So, Rajan is preparing us salmon with a creamy dill sauce, plus rice pilaf and green beans. Kristen is going to love it. Not just the food, but the fact that I remembered what she ate the first time we went to dinner somewhere fancy. It was my birthday, I remember, and she wanted to treat me to a meal that was more high end than what we usually went for.

That date was just about perfect. I think it was then I decided I wanted to marry her someday.

Not long after that, Kristen got her current job and moved out to Edmonton for it. The money was more than she would ever have made if she'd stuck around town, so I completely understand why she went: higher pay, opportunity for advancement, a job she was actually interested in. I mean, of course it made sense for her to go.

The tiniest part of me did hope she would invite me along, but we hadn't been dating very long, so I guess I shouldn't have expected any offers. Not that I'd have wanted to move. I love it here in Friendly Corners.

My parents would have been scandalized if I'd jetted off to Edmonton with a girl I'd only gone out with a handful of times. They think I'm too impulsive, when it comes to relationships. They tell me I dive right in without considering what the other person is hoping to get out of it. Not everybody is looking for love everlasting. Some people are only interested in a fling.

If there's anyone I trust, when it comes to relationship advice, it's my parents. They've been together forever, and they're the best of friends. They never fight. They agree about everything. When I was in school, most of my friends' parents were divorced, or getting divorced, but I knew that would never happen in my family. Maybe my mom and dad weren't home as much as they might have been, because they both worked all the way out in Middleboro and that's quite a commute, but when they were at home, it was smooth sailing.

Anyway, Nana lived two streets over, so if me or my brothers had any problems, we could always go to her. She was great. We were so lucky to have a grandmother who'd lived through a lot. You could tell her anything, and she'd never be surprised. She'd just listen to your problems and give you no-nonsense advice.

Nana was the best. I miss her every day.

I only wish she could have lived long enough to meet the woman I'm going to marry. I'm sure they would have got on well. One thing Nana used to tell me was that I should make more friends, or any friends, for that matter. That way I wouldn't throw everything I had into romantic relationships. She said she was the same, when she was my age, and it didn't do her any good. Boys would break it off with her because she'd hang on their coattails.

But I'm not like that with Kristen. How could I be? We live in different times zones.

When I was little, I had imaginary friends, and that was good enough for me. Plus, I had Nana and my brothers. We were closer when we were kids. Not so much now, as adults. They've all moved out of town, anyway. Everybody has. Even my parents. Everyone but me.

That's one of the reasons I would like it if Kristen moved back here to Friendly Corners: if I leave town just like the rest of my family, it'll be like we were never here in the first place. I still get sad when I walk past the house I grew up in, or Nana's house, or Uncle Gerry and Aunt Tina's old place. They all look so different now. The new owners have either fixed them up or let them rot, and they just don't feel the same anymore. They give me this aching feel in my chest, when I see them. It's hard. Really hard.

I said I'd keep this entry short, and here I go, blabbing on and on as usual. Once I pop, the fun won't stop! Words keep tumbling out of me. I just can't help myself!

After dinner at the hotel, we'll take a romantic stroll by the river. Kristen will know why: because that's where we shared our first ever kiss.

I won't drag her down to precisely the place we went on our first date, when she took me fishing and I finally worked up the nerve to kiss her. I only count that fishing expedition as our first date because it was the first time we kissed. That probably seems a little backward. We'd been out together three or four times before that, but I wasn't sure if we were just friends or what was going on, exactly. The first time we went out, she mentioned a girlfriend, but I guess they broke up or something. I didn't want to ask.

When Kristen accepted her job offer in Edmonton, we agreed to make the long distance thing work for us. She said she'd be so busy building her career that she wouldn't have much time to see me even if we lived in the same house, so it made sense to put things on hold a little bit.

Ever since she moved, we've kept in touch most days. We call or email, or at least send a text. And then, every once in a while, she flies back to see me.

I've never flown to Edmonton. First of all, she's the one making pant loads of money, so she can actually afford the fare. But the main reason, if I'm honest, is that Edmonton's a big city and I've never been to a big city like that. The whole idea of a whirlwind visit seems scary. I know most people would find it exciting to visit their girlfriend and get a change of scenery, but I've always been a homebody and I can't see changing who I am.

But who knows? Never say never, am I right?

Anyway, after I kiss Kristen by the river, I'm taking her to Bakelicious, on the main road. Sally, the owner, has set aside a slice of chocolate-raspberry torte, which is Kristen's favourite thing in the world. I'll escort Kristen into the patio in back of Bakelicious, and Sally will have all the fairy lights lit up for us. We'll eat our dessert under the stars and that's where I'll pop the question. I have Nana's wedding ring at the ready. It won't fit, but it's more about the fact that it's an heirloom, a family thing.

We can have it sized to fit Kristen's finger once she actually says yes.