My Resolve To Live
316 Words
Fragile Happiness
Volume 1
Takano Masamune
Chapter 1: My Resolve To Live
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I should have known from the beginning there was no hope for this relationship to last…
However I was very stupid and wishful...
In the end I got my heart broken, wallet stolen and car crashed because of my stubbornness…
I wanted to heal this wound in my chest as fast as possible, while it continued throbbing ever so painfully to remind me of him again…
My desperation led me nowhere, and my self-loathing was working against me as it always did…
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I have mysophobia…
Ever since I can remember my younger days I’ve always had the fear of being dirtied…
The entire world is dirty, everything from the things we touch to the air we breathe…
Yet I continue to live my life to the best of my abilities...
Just because I have this fear of being contaminated doesn’t mean I will just lock myself away. I have managed to live well for the past 27 years regardless of my cleaning compulsion and I will continue to do so…
Just because the world is build a certain type of way doesn’t mean I have to change. I just have to continue thinking of ways to avoid the things I do not wish to encounter.
Of course this makes my life difficult. I have never been in a relationship, neither have I ever dated anyone or even held their hand…
Does it make me feel lonely?
It does…
However I can’t help it, even if it pains me I cannot change…
I do not wish to change…
Changing is not possible for me…
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I just wish… someone could understand me… at least… a little…
- Writer
