Fragile Happiness (MxM)

Kane

Chapter 3: Kane

***

I don’t usually have anything against others… But this guy right here Kane, is probably the most annoying person I’ve met.

“Do you want to go to coffee with me today?” Kane asked me with a cheery expression on his face. What’s with him? Does he think we’re friends or something?

“I’m sorry I don’t really drink coffee…” I answered in the hopes of him leaving me alone already. Work already ended and I just want to walk home peacefully, without him following me.

“Then whatever you’d like to drink or eat. It will be on me.” Kane said and this time to my surprise he didn’t touch me like he did before.

Now… I don’t mean to say I don’t have money but… this month is pretty tight so it’s kind off difficult for me to refuse free food in the moment. Even though I don’t really eat out much, there is one place I eat the food they make. It’s a local restaurant that I enjoy and I know how they prepare the food so it doesn’t disgust me…

So of course in these kind of circumstances, I agreed. “Alright…” Free food is good food, you know?

***

We went to the restaurant I suggested and sat down at the table and ordered. It wasn’t that bad as I thought it would be. As a finance person he had interesting views on marketing and publishing of the books. In fact he gave me various suggestions that turned out to be pretty useful later on. My opinion of Kane gradually changed. Well until one day he asked me this…

“You’re mysophobic, right? I heard from Richard.” Kane said that with a straight face but somehow I felt like he wanted to mock me for it. So what if I am? Is there anything wrong with that? Of course I didn’t dare act like that so I simply said. “Yes, I am.”

It’s much better to just tell the truth and hope he’ll change the topic soon after. But he didn’t change the topic at all. He simply pushed on it. “Then will you allow me to help you, overcome it…” Kane asked me the weirdest thing imaginable.

“Overcome it?” I asked as there was no way this guy had any reasonable knowledge on the subject. Why would he be offering this to me out of nowhere?

“Yes, I can help you with that. My sister has studied this for years and often talks to me about proper treatment. She’s no longer in the industry however…” Kane said as he looked into my eyes. However did I ask? I don’t think so, I don’t really care about your sister and so on so fort.

“I’m not really interested in changing this aspect about myself. It hasn’t held me back from doing much, so I see no reason to change.” I simply answered back to the man that seemed to ignore my words as he continued to speak.

“Even if you don’t find issue with it right now… Who knows if it won’t affect you worse in the future. I noticed when you change your gloves; you have small scars on your hands from constantly washing them. You’ve dried off your skin beyond belief for a man in his late twenties. It might become worse as time goes on, so I’d suggest you do something about it now.” Kane explained to me and his words felt sincere. Was he so worried about me as to offer me help? I really had a hard time accepting his words seriously…

But in the end I gave in and accepted his help. “How exactly are we going to go about this?”

“Have you heard of shock therapy? By gradually getting exposed to the things you fear you will become accustomed to them.” Kane said in very simple words which was useful.

“How do we start?” I asked and was ready to try something little. Sometimes I had wondered if I could really change, but it never occurred to me to try anything.

“Let’s start with something easy and that you think you can do. Like maybe touching something with your bare hands.” Kane suggested, as I heard it something in me started panicking. The concept of touching things with my bare hands terrified me so much I didn’t know what to do.

“Can I disinfect it first?” I asked, in an attempt to ease my axiety.

“Yes, as much as you’d like. Let’s for example have that coffee cup in front of you. Can you lift it up and take a sip without your gloves on?” Kane asked me and I stared down at my coffee cup like it was the scariest thing I’d ever seen. It was clearly a washed cup and still I disinfectant the handle. I took off my glove and did as I was told.

Honestly I don’t even know why I listened to him, but by my amasement I managed to touch it and not feel so horrified. After I did it, I felt like it wasn’t so scary as I thought.

Of course one minute after that I disinfected my hand and put another glove on it. But still it was progress, even if it was little. To my surprise that man said the latter…

“You did great.” Kane actually praised me! I was more shocked from his words than I was from touching the cup with my bare hands.

I agreed to continue doing little attempts like these with him. I wrote down a list of things that I thought I could do, and things I’d like to eventually be able to do.

He began helping me little by little and I began overcoming my fear gradually.

I still wonder to this day if I did the right decision at the time to trust him...