Welcome to Moongate

Two: Bail Me Out

3 months. My work had laid me off for an entire three months, leaving me unemployed and heading home to lick my wounds. Well, technically, I had been told to go on a 3-month stress leave. Apparently, after having a physical fight and yelling competition with a patient in the ER, the Human Resources department seemed to think I needed some time off to process my intense emotions. As if finding out my long-term boyfriend was having a baby and supposedly marrying another woman, wasn’t a good reason for a meltdown.

Yet, they had every right to fire me after behaving like that. I was a nurse, my entire profession was about keeping composure and putting the patient first. It certainly wasn’t okay that I’d disregarded all that and actually harmed a patient with my own hands. I’d never felt more ashamed of myself. I was lucky I would still have a job to go back to in 3 months' time, as long as they didn’t change their mind that was.

The worst part though? The horrible day hadn’t ended there. After packing up my stuff at work, I had no choice but to return back to the only home I knew. I was heading towards Leo’s apartment, the same apartment I’d moved into just 6 months ago, when I thought everything was perfect. Little did I know, he had an entire second life I didn’t know about.

Maybe it was the pure shock running through my system after the day’s events, but some part of me was delirious enough to think I could still trust him. Maybe the woman was mistaken, maybe she had the wrong man, maybe she was just as delirious as I was in that moment. Maybe the photo had a glare, maybe it wasn’t actually him. Maybe it was an old photo. Maybe she was just flat out a liar, or an obsessive ex-girlfriend, or maybe she just had it out to get me.

100 excuses ran through my head, and I was desperate to believe any of them. 3 months off of work and a major hit to my pride was just about all that I could handle right now. I didn’t even want to think about dealing with a cheating boyfriend. Yet, when I turned the handle of the apartment I’d thought was my home, it didn’t budge. I pulled my key from my bag, trying with all my might to jam it into the lock, only to find that it didn’t fit.

Anger hit me in a blinding rage, just as it did earlier that day. In a matter of seconds, I was right back in that hospital room, seeing red. It sent my fists pounding against the door in a fury. All those emotions from earlier on at work that I’d tried to choke down, rushed right back to the surface. Now he didn’t even have the nerve to face me? No, I wouldn’t allow him to get away with it.

My fists pounded harder and faster, my voice beginning to escape me in a yell as I waited, but no answer came. Neighbors began to peer out into the hallway, people I’d used to hold casual conversation with in the elevator were now whispering among each other as if I were the crazy one.

Thinking back on it now, maybe I was. I was humiliated by the way I acted. I wasn’t this girl. A day earlier and you would have found me with the perfect life, but now? Now I was the girl that was hauled into the back of a police car for disturbing the peace after being locked out of her own apartment. The girl that was forced to take a 3-month leave from the job they lived for. The lame 24-year-old now forced to start over and make peace with the consequences of her actions. How would I ever show my face in public again? Never mind at work, in front of all my gossip-loving coworkers. Surely, I’d be the topic of all the gossip for the next several years. It would take a lot to get this out of people’s mouths, but somehow I would eventually have to face it.

“Ms. Jordan?” The police officer droned my name off of his clipboard. A bored look on his face as his eyes flickered up to see me standing nervously at the edge of the cell. I wiped my sweaty palms on the front of my jeans. How did I get myself in this position? I think the blush of embarrassment is permanently stained to my cheeks now.

“Yes?” I squeaked out pathetically. The confident girl I was just a few hours ago was long gone now.

“You get one phone call, choose wisely. Hopefully someone can come get ya,” he slid a key into the cell door, rattling it until it turned, then slid the door to the side. I slowly stepped out, following closely as he led me over to the phone atop his desk. He locked the door behind me, picking up the phone and handing it to me next.

My fingers hovered for a moment over the number pad. Who would I call? Bianca? No, she would still be at the hospital. Besides, she was just as broke as I was. There was no way she could afford to pay bail, and there was no possible way for me to pay her back in the near future. Especially not now that I’m homeless and unemployed.

I had no other choice, typing in the only other phone number I had memorized. The phone rang three times, sending a nervous shiver down my spine as I patiently waited. I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to answer or leave a voicemail at this point. The whole situation had my heart pounding in my chest. Finally, she answered, a cheery “hello,” coming from the other end and I knew she hadn’t looked at the caller ID before picking up. Any phone call coming from a jail cell certainly wouldn’t be received with such joy. Or maybe it would. My mother handed it out like no tomorrow.

“Mom,” I breathed a heavy sigh, feeling the tears bite at my eyes as I tried to hold the last of my dignity in. “I need your help.” I blurted before she could react to my sudden call.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” My mother knew me better than anyone, even if we weren’t as close as we used to be. It didn’t matter how I tried to hide the shame in my voice, or the quivering bottom lip on the other end of the phone line. She knew better, the slightest change of tone in my voice, and she knew something was wrong.

“I need your help,” I repeated lamely. My eyes scanned the room around me, behind the metal bars a few drunk girls eyed me from the corner they slouched in. Even their night seemed better than mine right now.

“What can I do?” Without question, my mother was always there for me. My stomach pinched in guilt, it had been far too long since I’d been home to visit. I hadn’t exactly been daughter of the year lately.

“I need you to bail me out of jail,” the words came out a mumble, but when my mother gasped, I knew she’d understood them. She’d certainly never expected those words to come from me. The silence that followed made me imagine her pulling the phone from her ear, checking the display again to see what child had just called her. I was the good kid. Okay, maybe not as good as my older brother Trevor but I definitely was drastically better than my younger brother, Marcus. Now from him, my mother would expect this call, if she hadn’t already received it a few times.

I could hear the annoyed grinding of my mother’s teeth on the other line, or maybe that was just my imagination filling in the gaps. I’d heard it far too often growing up, Marcus practically making it a family ritual every time he came home with a new detention slip. I hadn’t even reliably kept in touch with my family back home, suddenly trying to think back to the last time I called? Was it last weekend? No, I’d been at work. Surely, it had to have been in the days before? No, the last time I’d called home was on Mother’s Day. It had been a short 5 minute conversation on my lunch break, and nearly a month ago. Now, I had the nerve to call and ask for this big of a favour? But I had no other choice.

“What happened?” My mother finally replied, her voice quiet and disappointed now. That made the first tear trickle down my cheek, my bottom lip suddenly a blubbering mess as I recounted the day behind me. By the time I’d finished, I felt like I was 13 years old again. Crying in my mother’s lap, while she stroked my hair and made all the problems feel so small. It was just her and I, in our own little world, and maybe it was that little bit of sentiment that got the best of me when it came to what my mother said next.

“I’m worried about your Tally, I think it’s time you come home for a while. A little summer reset could do you some good. Give you some time to reconnect with yourself and let all this drama die down a little. I’ll book you a flight, you can stay with us for a while,” she suggested, and against my better judgment I found myself blurting out “okay”.

“Excellent,” the cheeriness had come right back to my mothers voice. “We can find you a job for the summer, you can save up some money to get back on your feet. Besides, I’m sure Angela would really appreciate your help with some of the wedding planning,” she continued on and I found myself nodding in agreement with her. Wedding planning? Definitely not an interest of mine, but it would be nice to see my brother and his fiancé, and I did need to save up some money if I was going to find myself a new apartment. It wasn’t until that slightest hope hit my mother, that the guilt began to run wild inside of me. “Oh honey it’ll be so good to have you home. You never know, maybe you’ll end up settling down here after all. Maybe this was all just a sign to send you back to us!” She was far too excited, and I quickly realized the mistake of my decision. No, this was a temporary Segway. There was no way I was moving home permanently, and I felt so bad for even allowing my mother to imagine the idea. Again though, I had no other choice. The only way I could get a new apartment in California, on my own, was with a fairly hefty security deposit and a stable job, neither of which I have now. I didn’t even know where I was going to sleep tomorrow night, which meant I had no choice but to play along with my mother’s fantasy.

“I’ll book you a flight and pick you up from the airport tomorrow!” She was practically squealing with excitement and I had to pull the phone slightly away from my ear. Behind the desk, the police officer gave me an annoyed scowl. His finger tapped the top of his watch, telling me to hurry the conversation up.

That sounds great, but uh mom?” I cut her off just as she was about to dive into another excited ramble about all the plans she was surely already making for the summer.

“Yeah?” Came a breathy answer.

“Don’t forget to bail me out of jail,” I said before handing the phone back to the officer. I was sure this time she wasn’t grinding her teeth though, she was far too excited for her only daughter to finally come home.