A Luna's Power

Chapter 9: A Visit

-Lara-

I was sitting in my father’s office, with a pen between my fingers. The pen was going back and forth, back and forth. Hitting the table every time and making a constant noise, others would find it annoying and ask me to stop, but I was alone in the office that was now mine. I felt restless. Or a bit nervous maybe. I had gambled with powerful alphas, who would find what I did almost threatening. The way the world was at the moment granted them power. That also meant that it was not something they wanted to give up easily. Who would? Once you had it, you only started to crave more. It was a security in a way. It was a way to feel like no one could touch you and now … now I was upsetting that balance, making them hate me for it.

I sighed, putting the pen down and rubbing my hands over my face. I knew I should be working, but I could not concentrate. I had seen James at the meeting earlier today. Why did it have to be him? I would not be able to not see him. He would always be around. He was, after all, one of the king’s most trusted people. He had been for years! And he … he steered something in me. I had tried not looking at him, but I couldn’t help but glance at him. I had seen the hungry look in his eyes. It looked like he was going to have me in front of the entire council if I had simply given him a yes. It looked like he would not have been trying to hold back with me, and I loved it. I didn’t want to be treated like I couldn’t handle certain things. Like I was weak. I wanted it all and I knew he could give it to me.

“F*cking hell …” I breathed before leaning over the table.

There was a powerful throbbing … down, lower, that had not stopped since I found my mate in James. It was distracting and time-consuming to take care of. I had never even thought about or considered taking care of myself or having others do it. I had always been so focused on surviving in this house and none of the people I had been surrounded with ever spoke to that part in me, but James … Goddess, just the sight of him was close to having me whimper in need. It was not fair! It was a distraction, and I couldn’t be distracted! I was trying to build something here! I was trying to make the world better!

Mates made you weak.

It was that simple. Just look at everyone else. Just look at James himself! Losing his mate, it destroyed him. I bet, even though he had come back to his strength, he was still haunted. He was still in a way drowning in that pain from losing his mate.

I was trying to make sure I would never lose my power to an alpha or any male I chose as my mate, and if I succeeded, I shouldn’t have to be scared to accept any, but I still didn’t want to. I had to be completely focused. I could not risk being destroyed by losing my mate. I refused to become weak. Therefore, the next time I saw him … I had to refuse him.

I groaned as a powerful pain shot through my body and I rubbed two fingers over where my heart was. It hurt like hell!

“Stop it!” I told myself.

I looked down at the work I had in front of me. I had a request from someone wanting to join my pack. A lone wolf, but I could barely focus on what the request said. I had to go distract myself. Both from the pain and the need for him and something I knew only he could give me.

I got up from my chair, leaving the request from a Cecilia Clark on the desk for later. For now, I had to go for a drive.

I hurried down to my bike, and without a helmet or even a jacket, I sped out into the half-dark evening, just enjoying the late spring air. I only felt truly free when I was out on the road like this, breaking the speed limit and just living. Not thinking. Not caring. It was just me. There was no one else and still I found myself taking a route I did not think I would take.

I took a turn going deeper into the woods where I knew would lead me to a very specific house I had not gone to see for months. Actually, I had only been here once before, just looking at it and gloating inside of myself that he could not go anywhere.

I slowly led the bike over to the big cottage and stopped. It was almost like a mansion. I shook my head at the sight of it. Why Selene had not just chained him up in some cave and left him there to rot like the piece of sh*t he was, I would never understand, but of course, at the time she asked for the Isolation, she was still just a joke of our society.

I turned off the bike, seeing a few shadows move around me, but no one appeared. They knew it was their luna who had come to visit her dear old father, though he had never been a father to me, and he destroyed both my sister, my mother and me. What a great father he was...

I slowly walked over to the house. I should not be this nervous … almost scared. I told myself I had nothing to fear. I was in charge now. But he was the monster under my bed. He was the person I had tried to please all my life and was always told by him I would never be enough. I would never be Selene.

It was hard to hear. Of course, I no longer needed his validation. I had proven myself many times, and I only came here to show him that. That no matter what he would always be beneath me.

I grabbed the handle and walked inside. I did not owe him to knock. The house was rather dark but, of course, only one person lived here. I found the first living room as I passed the entrance hallway with lights and a nice fireplace that was lit on. But no Michael.

“What a nice surprise.”

I turned around, hearing his voice. He stood only a little further away with a cup of tea in his hand, dipping the tea bag to give the water more flavor.

“Hello Lara,” he said and held out the cup. “Tea?”

I shook my head, and he just shrugged a little before taking a sip and then walking past me into the living room, where he sat down on a big and comfy chair by the fireplace and with a book in his hand.

“A bit warm to have a fireplace going,” I said.

He shrugged and looked at the fire shortly.

“But it gives a cozy feeling.”

He looked down at his book, but when he noticed I wasn’t moving or even going to leave, he looked up from it before closing it a little and then smiling his eerie smile. I remembered it from when I was a kid, and he had a punishment in store for me.

“Was there something you wanted? Or did you just come for a nice visit?”

“You think I would ever use my time just to come “visit” you, Michael?”

“You have not changed, Lara,” he said with his cruel smile, and placed the book on the small table beside him.

“Actually,” I said and crossed my arms. “I have changed a lot. I am luna now.”

“Ah yes … luna,” he half laughed. “Like you are going to last.”

His words shouldn’t hurt me, but they did.

“I have a seat on the council now too.”

That only made him laugh more, which only hurt me more, and the pain angered me too. I should not let him affect me, but he did.

“Oh Goddess, you won’t last for long then!”

“You are wrong!” I growled.

It was enough to make the tea beside him move a little over the table, as it shook. He looked at it shortly, now not laughing so much, and then he turned to me.

“You always were so wild,” he said. “Even now you let your emotions get to you.”

“And what about you?” I asked. “You have gotten yourself locked up! Even if I think you should be in a cell to rot!”

“Then why aren’t I?” he asked.

“What?”

“Your sister isn’t in charge anymore. You are, as you have already pointed out to me. So, tell me Lara, why haven’t you given over your responsibility over me back to the king? I am sure he would love to put me back in a cell to spend the rest of my days there.”

I bit the inside of my cheek, looking away a little. Why hadn’t I given him back to the king? I never wanted him home in the first place. He always ruined everything. I was much better off without having to think about him.

“You want me to answer that for you?” he asked.

I turned to look at him and narrowed my eyes.

“Maybe I just want to be able to watch you rot.”

He shook his head while smiling.

“No, that isn’t it,” he said.

“No?”

“No. You like to have power over me. You like to be the one deciding my fate. It makes you feel like you are in control. Like you can pay me back for making your life … miserable? Was that not what you told me I was doing before I sent you away?” he asked.

“You did make my life miserable!” I yelled. “You made both mine and Selene’s lives hell!”

“And still, it is Selene who lives with the king. She has found herself another alpha and she has kids, who might just be the next rulers if the queen does not provide any heirs.”

“I thought you were disappointed in her choices,” I said.

“I was. But I have had time to think and now I see, she did better than I had originally thought. She might end up much more powerful than I ever thought she would be. And you? You are going down a destructive path unless you start thinking like your sister,” he told me.

I leaned my head back and laughed. He was unbelievable.

“There you go again!” I snarled, looking at him. “Telling me to be like her! I DON’T want to be her! I DON’T want an alpha or kids! I want what I have! I want to be luna!”

He just slowly shook his head, like he was disappointed in me.

“No luna has ever ruled on her own. You will only get yourself killed. I am telling you this as your father. Find yourself an alpha to protect you.”

I laughed at his words.

“When have you ever acted like my father?!” I yelled and pointed at him. “You are NOTHING, old man! And I will prove to you, that I can be a luna on my own! I will never submit! And I will never give over my power to anyone! Now I think I will go home and give you back to the king, just so you are out of my life for good!”

He just smiled at me, as I turned around and walked out of the door, vowing to never come back.