Innocent Temptation

PAST..

The sun was warm on Aira’s skin as she sat on the park bench, her younger brother, Jay, playing just a few yards away with his friends. When her mother was heading out with her brother she had volunteered to be the one to take him to the park. Because she wanted some alone time and think about the words she was going to write down on the letter she was writing for Mac.

But to her dismay, it had been quite a few minutes and she still hasn’t written a single word as she stared down at the blank piece of paper on her lap. Today was her sixteenth birthday, and she had decided—finally decided—that it was time. Finally, she could confess her feelings to Mac without expecting him to balk at the prospect of dating a child because in her opinion she was no longer one. But the problem was with her overflowing feelings and the emotions she felt, it was difficult for her to put those emotions into mere words.

Mac had been a part of her life for as long as she could remember. He was always there, tall and confident, sometimes a little too quiet, but always a steady presence. To him, she was just Aira, the kid next door, the little girl who tagged along behind him and his brother. But to her… he was everything. And she was afraid if a letter will be able to portray the intensity of her feelings for him.

It wasn’t an impulsive decision, confessing her feelings today. Aira had spent countless nights staring at the ceiling, thinking of every possible way to tell him. She had imagined his face, his reaction, what he might say, how it might change things between them. But each time, the fear of rejection, of ruining their friendship— she liked to think they has one, had held her back. Until now.

Today, she told herself, was different. Today, she was sixteen. She was no longer the little girl who followed him around, no longer the girl who he patted on the head with an affectionate smile or sometimes looked at her with resignation that he had to deal with her, that look had hurt her feelings on more than one occasion but she had tried to understand that for him she was just a kid he’d to take care of. Not now, though. Now, she was no longer the awkward girl with glasses and braces, she had finally gotten rid of them. She was older now, and surely that had to mean something, didn’t it?

Aira glanced at Jay again, making sure he was still happily playing, before turning her attention back to the blank paper. Her heart pounded as she picked up the pen and then wrote the words that it whispered to her in the nights when she couldn’t fall asleep and waited for a glimpse of him through her bedroom window.

Dear Mac, she wrote slowly, her hand trembling slightly as she started.

“—You’ve always been there for me, and I don’t think you’ve ever realized how much that means to me.—”

She paused, biting her lip as she read over the words. Her fingers tightened around the pen. It wasn’t enough. It didn’t fully capture how she felt. She’d liked him for so long, her feelings had grown and deepened over time. It wasn’t some childish crush; it was something real, something she couldn’t ignore any longer. She tore the paper in half and then started anew on another one.

Aira smiled softly to herself as she remembered the moments—moments that seemed small to him but meant the world to her and made her fall for him. She could feel her heart beating wildly as she wrote the words that came straight from her heart and as she finished the letter, it felt so final, so terrifying, and yet… liberating. She folded the letter carefully and tucked it into the side pocket of her cardigan. She had worn a white dress with pink cardigan that had white roses stitched on it. And for the special occasion she had a crown of white roses on her head. Zurich and Jay has given it to her and even though Jay claimed that he made it, she knew that Zurich had helped her brother.

As she stood up, she allowed her mind to wander to the thoughts that made her equal part excited and apprehensive as she imagined what it would be like when she gave it to him. Would he smile? Would he laugh? Or would he look at her with that soft, thoughtful gaze of his and tell her that he felt the same way? Aira’s heart fluttered with excitement at the thought. This could be the beginning of something beautiful—of something she had dreamed about for so long.

But deep down, a small part of her was still nervous. What if he didn’t feel the same? What if he looked at her and saw only the kid that he had to take care of. She pushed those negative thoughts aside. Today was her birthday. She wasn’t going to let doubt ruin it. Mac had always been kind to her, always gentle and understanding. Even if he didn’t feel the same way, he would never hurt her. He wasn’t like that.

Aira called for her brother to take him home with her. Her brother yelled back for another ten minutes. Aira sighed, used to him wanting to play for extended time periods. But as she waited there, she saw Zurich walking on the other side of the park fence. “Zurich!” She waved at him.

When he saw her, he gave her a big smile. He gestured for her to stay there that he’ll come to her. And as she waited, the unmistakable sound of laughter reached her ears, but it wasn’t the joyful kind. It was sharp, cutting, and instantly familiar. Aira stiffened, her heart sinking as she saw Sarah approaching with two of her friends. The smile Aira had worn just moments ago vanished, replaced by a knot of dread in her stomach.

“Well, look who it is. The ugly duckling herself,” Sarah sneered, crossing her arms as she stood in front of Aira, blocking her. “What are you doing here? Waiting for some poor sod to look at you?”

Aira’s cheeks flushed, and she instinctively took a step back from her bully. She didn’t want Sarah to ruin her mood, not today. But Sarah was like a pest as she leaned forward and snatched the flower crown from her head. “Hey, give that back to me!” Aira said and tried to take it back from Sarah.

But Sarah fisted it in her hand, ruining it and breaking the flowers as she sneered, “What do you think of yourself, a princess?” She laughed and her sidekicks did too.

“Just leave me alone, Sarah,” she said, trying to sound firm, but her voice wavered. “Leave me alone.”

Sarah laughed, the sound cruel and mocking. “Oh, please, Aira. If not for me you won’t even get the attention you want so much.”

Tears pricked the corners of Aira’s eyes as she shook her head but before she could respond, a voice cut through the air like a blade. “Back off, Sarah.”

Aira looked up to see Z storming toward them with a glare that could have burned through steel. He was tall, almost as tall as Mac, and his presence alone was enough to make Sarah and her friends falter. “Oh, look, another one of guard dog has arrived,” Sarah said, though her voice had lost some of its bite.

“Leave her alone,” Z growled, stepping between Aira and Sarah. “Or do you need me to remind you what happened the last time you messed with her?”

Sarah’s expression turned bitter as she looked between Aira and him. But she gathered herself quickly as she scoffed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Whatever, losers.” She shot Aira one last disdainful look before tossing the ruined flowers at her feet as turned on her heel and marched away with her friends in tow.

As soon as they were out of sight, Aira let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. She looked at Z with a grateful smile. “Thanks, Z.” Her smile turned into a sad one as she bent down to pick up the ruined crown.

Zurich stopped her. “Let it be. I’ll make you another one.”

She gave him a thankful smile. His features were as distinctive as of aristocrat and he was definitely more good looking and charming than his older brother, but still he never made her heart flutter the way his big brother did. He looked down at her with soft eyes and said, “Just ignore her. She's not worth your time, Aira. Besides, what was the news you wanted to share?”

Aira’s smile returned, shy but bright, as she held up the letter, the excitement from earlier bubbling back up to the surface. “This… I’m going to give it to Mac. I wrote it for him… I think I’m ready.”

Z grinned, his expression playful. “You’re really going to tell him, huh? About time. He’s an i***t if he doesn’t realize how lucky he is.”

Aira blushed, her heart swelling with hope and nervousness all at once. “I hope he feels the same way. I just… I have to try, you know?”

Zurich nodded. “Do that. And if he doesn’t come around, tell me so I could beat his arse.”

She laughed softly, feeling a surge of confidence as she straightened her shoulders. “Can you take Jay home for me?”

At Zurich’s nod, she inched up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, you are the best friend anyone can ask for.”

With the letter still clutched in her hand and Z’s words echoing in her mind, she took a deep breath and started walking, ready to find Mac and finally confess everything that had been in her heart for so long.

As she made her way to the exit of the park, she couldn't help but imagine her future with Mac— she had dreamt of it so many times, she could almost taste it as she thought of him saying that he felt the same as she did.

But then, as she rounded the corner by the park’s fountain, her thoughts scattered, her dream of a future with him shattered into million pieces as she saw scene unfolding before her. She halted, her fingers fisting around the letter still gripped in her hand. Her wide eyes unable to look away from what seemed like a nightmare coming true in front of her.

Mac was there, standing near a big tree, but he wasn’t alone. Sarah, of all people, was with him. The sight of them together made Aira ache, her breath catching in her throat. And before she could fully process what she was seeing, Mac leaned down and kissed her.

It was like a punch to the gut. Her entire world stopped.

No. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening.

Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach as she watched them, her vision blurring with the tears that instantly welled up in her eyes. The letter in her hand, once a symbol of all her hopes and dreams, now felt like a cruel joke. Every fantasy she had built in her mind about confessing her feelings to Mac, about them being together, broke into painful shards that pierced her heart with every breath.

How could he do this? How could he kiss her? The girl who had tormented Aira, made her life miserable, bullied her at school, and mocked her at every chance she got. And now, Mac—the person Aira had thought she could trust, the person she had admired and loved from afar—was kissing her. Wasn’t he the one who had protected her on several occasions from being bullied by the same girl that now he was kissing? How? Why?

Tears spilled down her cheeks, and before she could stop herself, she turned and ran out of the park. She couldn't see anything or hear anything as her heart thundered in her ears and tears blurred her eyes. All due wanted was to get away from here and never look at Mac ever again. All due wanted was to cry and sleep and never wake up.

Z’s voice called out from somewhere behind her, his shout filled with confusion and concern, but she didn’t stop. She couldn’t. She didn’t want anyone to see her like this.

The world around her became a blur of colors and sound as she fled, her heart pounding in her ears and the sting of betrayal cut deeper than anything she had ever felt before. She couldn’t think straight. Her chest ached, her legs moved on their own, and all she could do was run and run, trying to outrun the pain that gripped her.

She crossed the street blindly, too lost in her heartbreak, in the tears that blinded her. And it happened too fast for her to comprehend.

A car horn blared, loud and frantic.

Zurich yelled her name.

People screamed.

Then, pain. Searing, blinding pain as the world tilted and everything went black.

“Aira!!” She thought she heard him, the one who broke her heart. But she didn't care anymore. Not for him, not for anything and especially not for her stupid heart who fell for the wrong man.

_________________

When Aira opened her eyes, she was in a hospital bed with her parents hovering beside her as concern lined their faces. The sterile scent of antiseptic filled the air, and the beeping of machines surrounded her. She blinked, her head swimming, the harsh fluorescent lights overhead making it hard to focus.

"Aira, baby..." Her father began, "How are you feeling, princess?"

She tried to smile but tears came to her eyes. "Oh, dear. Are you in pain?" Her mother asked.

All she could do was nod and her mother rushed out of the hospital room to call the doctor. But the pain wasn't as much as the physical one that was making her cry. The physical pain only paled in comparison to the ache in her chest.

Mac. Sarah.

The memory of seeing them together hit her like a wave, crashing over her and suffocating her all over again. Her eyes filled with tears as the heartbreak returned, raw and all-consuming. The letter she had written for him, now nothing more than a crumpled reminder of how foolish she had been.

As more tears escaped her eyes, Aira noticed how her leg throbbed painfully, and when she tried to move, a sharp pain shot through her, forcing her to gasp. She looked down, her vision still blurry, and saw the cast encasing her leg.

Her leg was broken and she knew that the cast will fix it. But her heart… that hurt so much more. And no cast could fix that.

.

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A. Gupta