The October Amaryllis: Everything Has a Cost

Chapter 22 - March 13th, 1931 4:09 P.M.

As Delilah walked in, I noticed that she had changed out of her green and black dress into a silver wool coat. She looked just like a detective at that moment, and I was the person she would interrogate next. I instantly knew our conversations weren’t going to be any good. Like I said earlier, I can read people like a book. I may be crazy, but I’m not stupid.

“Those thirty seconds must have been the longest of my life,” Delilah said, nearly crying by my bed. She lit up another cigarette and chain-smoked as she typically did. At this rate, she would smoke a hundred cigarettes a day. You might be asking me why I didn’t scold her for smoking underage; the truth is she wouldn’t believe that cigarettes are unhealthy. Surprisingly, the Nazis were against tobacco smoking. That’s hilarious to me because they smoked meth on the battlefield.

“Is that how long I had a seizure?” I asked, trying not to cry. I hated seeing her so sad; I felt in a way that the seizure was my fault and that the universe was punishing me for my transgressions, as crazy as that sounds.

“Yes,” she said, with a single tear coming out of her left eye.

I hugged her tightly at that moment and felt her stop shaking briefly. It felt good to be able to comfort her; usually, I do the exact opposite. Every time I try to help someone, I make things even worse, partly because of my brutal honesty. There’s virtually nothing I won’t say, and frankly, I don’t care if it hurts your feelings. I swear this generation is so sensitive to everything… Just because you don’t like what I have to say does not mean that I am wrong in any way; it just means you’re a pampered b***h.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“Why are you sorry, dear?” she asked, confused.

“Do you ever have something happen and feel like it was your fault despite irrefutable proof that it wasn’t? Because that’s how I feel every single day. In fact, I feel like this seizure was completely my fault; I swear it sounds crazy, but that’s how I actually think.”

“Actually, yes…” she said, hugging me. For once, I actually welcomed something from her.

“Listen, I might get out tomorrow, but I don’t know. I don’t know where to go after that, though. I don’t really have anywhere to go,” I said, fighting tears.

If I time travel again, this might actually kill me. I put so much effort into saving my dad, and now I might end up dying myself… Why do I ruin everything?

“Don’t you have parents?” she asked, confused.

“Yes, but they don’t really pay much attention to me,” I lied. I felt absolutely horrible for lying to her, but it was the first thing that came to my mind. I was becoming more and more reckless by the moment.

“Sounds like my mother. Why don’t you stay with us? Why we could even pay your bill!” she said, smiling.

“Absolutely not; how do you plan to pay my bill during a depression? You’ll go bankrupt over me?!” I nearly yelled angrily. I felt awful for yelling at her, but I knew that if she had paid for my bills, my entire future family might have suffered.

“Don’t yell at me, you swine!” she replied, annoyed.

“I’m sorry, it’s just I can’t let you do this for me. Your parents would kill me,” I replied with a half frown.

“They don’t have to know,” she replied with a sly smile.

“What in the world are you suggesting?” I asked concernedly.

“I think you know,” she replied with an even bigger smile.

“No, I won’t let you do this,” I replied, crossing my arms.

“Sorry, but you don’t get to tell me what to do. Delilah Andrews takes orders from no one,” she replied as she adjusted her coat, pocketed a pack of Camel cigarettes, and left.

I must put an end to this!