Chapter 3 Farewell

1183 Words
  Xander's POV   Ever since she returned, all I want is to be with her. I don't believe I have ever truly loved Solaine. Whenever I am with her, all I can think about is her sister. I consistently remind her that I have moved on and expressed my desire to prioritize our relationship, but the truth is, I have been dishonest. I still have feelings for Selene. My first and true love. I believe the situation will remain unchanged, and I cannot take the risk once more.   "I'm ending things with Selene," I shared with Denver.   "For what?" He asks as if it's an insult. "It hurts the pack. They have known Solaine all along as your Luna. Watch out for her-"   "I don't care," I interrupted. I can't bear witness to my own words. I ran my hand through my hair and then closed my eyes.   "I'm not sure, but I don't really care. She shouldn't be my Luna all along." I added, and Denver looked at me with a disappointed expression.   He lets out a sigh. "I will be there to support you, but I sincerely hope that you won't come to regret this decision. Solaine's love for you is evident-"   "It is an unrequited love." I corrected him. His eyes are filled with unwavering anger, but he cannot show it, and he will not.   "The heck," he mouths.   He questioned me, "How can you do this?"   He is the person I trust, and he is the only one who can ask me in that manner. I have known him for a long time, and I can't help but be completely honest with him.   "I'm still in love with Selene." I disclosed the information to him.   He tightened his jaw. "So, are you just using Solaine as a means to move on? Are you treating her as if she is just a rebound? Are you suggesting that you should cause her pain in order to make up for your own pain?" I clenched my jaw tightly and bit the inside of my cheeks.   I reluctantly acknowledge that, but it is indeed the truth. "I can't love anyone in the same way that I love Selene." I expressed my agreement with him.   "I made an effort to love her and move forward, but every time I look into her eyes, all I see is Selene, man. How can I proceed or move forward given the circumstances? It continues to haunt me. I feel guilty, but I'm relieved that she's back for me. I have been waiting for her... There is still time. I don't need to pretend about my feelings towards someone I dislike." I stuttered, causing my voice to falter as I tried to express my feelings, my heart was racing so fast that I was unable to continue my sentence.   "She will set the crown down, hand it over to Selene, and yet she will remain as a member of the pack Selene has always been my Luna, and she always will be," I added.   I am unable to locate Selene. I search for her throughout the castle, only to discover her in the private room. She is forcefully pushing Solaine down as Solaine pleads for mercy. For a brief moment, my heart skips a beat as I catch a glimpse of the anger reflected in her eyes.   "Well, thank you for persuading me, mouse. However, it remains true that I harbored strong feelings of dislike towards you. Even if you choose not to do this, I will still return to Xander and I will not forgive you!" she attempted to kick Solaine once more, but I intervened, causing her to cease her actions.   As a result, she gazed at me with remorse, her stunning grey eyes filled with guilt.   No, I do not want her to experience any feelings of guilt. Her feelings are valid. Her sister is living the life that she is supposed to have, and I am involved in that situation.   "Selene," I comfort her and gently grasp her hand. Gasping, she buried her face in my chest.   "I'm glad you came, Xander. She is trying to make me do things that I don't want to do. She does not want to end her relationship with you." She sobbed against my chest, seeking comfort and solace.   I embraced her, gently placing my hand on her back and giving it a comforting pat. I have not had a conversation with her since she returned. She is angry and feels betrayed.   I am not aware of the complete truth regarding her and Solaine, but I do know that she is experiencing pain. It is inappropriate for Solaine to say something that would cause her further harm. I gaze down at Solaine on the ground. Her eyes are filled with pity as she looks at me. I feel a sharp pain in my chest, which leaves me feeling disappointed.   "Shh," I whispered in Selene's ear. "I am here, and you will assume the Luna position. You are aware that I only love you and no one else. We have already discussed this. I refuse to let go of you, and no one can prevent us from ensuring that we stay together." I gently comforted her, continuing to kiss her hair while making soothing sounds.   I can't even break free from her. She released me from her grasp, she held my hand while Solaine tried her best to get up.   "What did you do, Solaine?" I asked, feeling disappointed, and I wanted to do something about her. I want her to adjust.   Her eyes welled up with tears. "I-I just did what you told me to do. I attempted to persuade-"   "But she's hurting!" I exclaim, cutting her words off. "You should have adjusted yourself, Solaine. I know you still love me, but I don't... I will never learn to love you, and I'm sorry but that's the truth. I don't want you to live with privilege anymore. I hate pretending any longer." I don't know what I've said that makes her sigh like she's been waiting for it the whole time.   "T-That's right!" Selene cried out. Her voice is breaking down. f**k. I don't know what to do to make her feel better but kissing her forehead and embracing her.   Solaine looks at her like she's hyperventilating. I want to ask her if she's alright or not, but no. It's Selene who she hurts, I've been waiting for a lot of months.   Selene tightens her grip on my hand, while Solaine takes a deep breath before speaking, "Do you believe that I would ever try to make you love me against your will? I will not! I just wanted to let you know that I never wanted this. I attempted to distance myself from this situation, but you are aware that we made a conscious decision to be involved. However, I must express that the purpose of my words now is to bid farewell. I accept that we are breaking up, and I will give the crown to Selene."
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