You Want Me
1742 Words
Alexandra
His lips brush mine very lightly and I want to lean into the touch. I want to feel his lips on mine, to ask him to take me, to surrender myself to him and not think of all the reasons why I should never let him close to me.
He is a murderer. Cold-blooded and scheming. He never does anything without calculating the benefits for him first. He is scheming and stone-hearted.
And yet, I want him to kiss me, I feel the need like a physical thing.
I don’t know why I am thinking that - it’s against all reason and it’s coming from a place I can’t recognize. I have never felt this way before and the proximity with him is intoxicating.
Then… His breath is gone from my face and I feel the movement of Nathanile’s hand as he lifts it very lightly and traces his fingertips over my lips.
I want to take his finger in my mouth and…
The thought startles me but I don’t open my eyes. I don’t pull away.
My lips part on their own inviting him.
And it happens. Only… it doesn’t.
His touch is gone and I hear the movement of him taking a step away. Then he starts laughing.
My eyes snap open instantly.
He looks like he is about to burst laughing and I want to kick him. Or myself for letting this happen.
“Yes, you DO want this, “ he says, smugly, then he laughs out loud.
He is unbelievable. I glare at him, not knowing whether to say or do something.
“You are terrible, “ I hiss at him as his laughter slowly quotes down.
“Yes,” he says, smoothing the front of the dark coat he is wearing, “But at least I am not desperate for someone to kiss me. I thought you didn’t like me.
Nathaniel is trying not to laugh. At me. I can’t believe I was so stupid to allow him so close to me.
“I didn’t want you to kiss me.”
“No?” he asks, lifting an eyebrow. I hate him when he does it because he looks so confident and hot that I want to pinch myself.
“I think you were pretty much into it only a few seconds ago. “
“I told you I wasn’t. “
“Mhm, “ he says, “Although you seemed to be unsure of what to do. “
“Excuse me?” I gasped, “I wasn't sure to do what exactly?”
“Maybe … maybe you are not very good at kissing which is understandable. “
“I am not good at… ?” I place my palm on my chest. “ I am very good at this. “
“I can’t know. I have no reason to believe it. “
“Fine, “ I snarl, “You can kiss me. “
Then he nods.
“See? I told you you were too desperate for me.
“Ugh….” I grab one of the pillows on the bed and throw it at him. I miss him by sooo much that he laughs again.
“I warned you about throwing and breaking - it causes too much trouble for the servants. “
“You are unbelievable. And so you know- “ - I point a finger at him, " I have a mate. And I would never kiss anyone BUT him. “
That makes him pause.
HA! Got you, mister, I -know- everything.
Nathaniel sits in the armchair straighter.
“You have a mate?” he asks and I declare.
“Yes. Why are you so surprised? “
“He told you that?”
“Of course he told me that, “ I said smugly. “Who else can tell me that? And by the way - you are being childish “
Then something passes Nathanile’s face. A peculiar glimmer shines in his eyes, I have never seen this expression before - it makes him look younger, somehow less intimidating. He also looks like he enjoys our conversation - if this can be called a conversation- and I most likely imagine all of it. So I regain my composure and glare at him.
“You are immature. “ I say more to myself than to him.
“One of my many charms. “
Nathaniel grins and flops back on the armchair.
“We have to discuss something, “ he says more seriously.
“Like what?”
“Since you are not a bed slave, “ Nathaniel begins which leads to another groan from me “You should do something for me. “
“Like what?”
I ask, defiant and he points to one of the books on the shelf.
“I am tired. You can read to me. “
“Read to you?” I ask, puzzled. It takes me a brief moment to figure out what he just said or if I'm imagining things.
“You want me to read to you?”
“Yes, “ Nathaniel says. “I assume you can?”
“Yes, Your Majesty, “ I pronounce the title mockingly, “I can read. I was a princess before I was sent here, remember? “
“Ah, yes, “ he waves a hand, “I forgot. “
He forgot. I clench my teeth. Since I came here I’ve been clenching my teeth so much I will chip one of them one of these days if he continues to annoy me.
“Well?” he asks, waiting.
I pout and go to the books, ordered in the library in the corner. I went through some of them the first night I was sent here. I hate to admit it but some books are too good to be here.
I am also sure someone else picked them for the royal bedroom. I doubt Nathaniel has read any of them.
“The one with the red cover, “ he says and I glare at him.
“Yes. I remember which one. “
“I am just making sure. “
I pull it when he gets up and goes to bed. He starts taking his coat off and I pause.
“What are you doing?” I ask and he peels the cloth from himself.
Nathaniel is only in a black undershirt under it. He takes his boots off and walks towards one of the sides of the bed. I hope he steps on a crystal from the broken glass but he doesn’t.
“What does it look like to you? “ he asks.
“Are you going to get undressed?” I mutter, stupidly.
“In front of you?” he snorts, not looking away as he uncuffs his shirt. “No. “
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“Nothing. “
He is going to end me.
“By the way if you think I am going to get undressed in front of you…” I begin and he glances at me.
“I’ve already seen enough of you. “
I gaped at him. I clench my hand around the book and for a second I consider throwing it at him.
Then I think better- it’s a book, very good at that, Nathaniel doesn’t even deserve to be hit with it.
He rolls the sleeves and I see his forearms. Hard muscles and scars. I never thought he would have so many… I look away quickly. Even his hands are beautiful.
Get a hold of yourself, I tell myself, but I am still not looking back at him.
“He is just a man, stop this nonsense. I have seen naked men before, right?”
What makes things worse is that he is not even naked. He only removed his coat and I am staring at him. He rolls his other sleeve and unbuttons the top of his shirt. Nathaniel lays in bed and points at the armchair for me.
“You can sit there. “
I take a deep breath and sit, while he is lying on the bed.
“Of course, your Majesty, “ I grunt. “Do you want me to bring you anything to drink, or to eat?
“Maybe later. “ he says lightly as if I am really his servant.
And he is so gorgeous it hurts. The bedcovers are in deep red, making his dark hair stand out even more. Nathaniel places his arm behind his head, and now the wide shirt outlines the muscles of his body.
I can do this, I can do this… I s**t in the armchair and open the book.
I began reading and after a sentence or two, he fixed his eyes on the ceiling.
“I don't hear you. “ he says.
I exhale slowly and count to three.
“Well, “ I say, “You told me to sit here. Besides - I thought wolves had better hearing. “
“Imagine how poorly you read, then. “
I snap the book shut and get up abruptly. I drag the armchair closer and sit heavily in it.
I resume reading when I pause.
“By the way, they never catch the rogue wolf, “ I say. “ Elaine is killed in the next chapter but they manage to bring her back later. It turns out her father was behind everything and he is eventually punished for his deeds. Elaine and George get married. There. “ I say proudly, “Maybe I ruined it for you, but I’ve read this book. “
Nathaniel’s eyes flutter towards me. His hair is spilled on the pillow and he looks so seductive. Somehow unguarded and my heart misses a beat.
I look away from him before I continue imagining him kissing me and say - because I obviously can’t look at him AND speak coherently at the same time.
“So, no reading I guess?” I close the book and he closes his eyes.
“Oh, no. “ He smiles " I don't read books only for the plot, so go on. I don’t mind knowing what happens. “
I stare at him, at his relaxed face. Even with his eyes closed he looks smug. I’ve never wanted to punch someone so much in my life.
I prepare myself for another exchange when I hear a tap on the window and almost drop the book on the floor.
- Writer
