The Alpha King and His Human Queen

This Was All Me

Alexandra

“You look like your mother so much, “ my father says and smiles, sadly. “And I feel like you’ve changed so much. You haven't been here that long and yet - it feels like years. You’ve also matured, I almost didn’t recognize you when I saw you. “

“Dad…” I say, affectionately. “I am still the same. “

“But something’s changed. I don’t know what, but it's there. “

“Wel..” I exhale slowly, “A lot of things happened. Sometimes you have to grow up quickly, right?”

“It’s true.” he nods. “It's part of the burden of being a royal. “

We are walking in one of the gardens- my father is leaving soon and he offered to spend some time with me, away from the others.

“I miss her. “ he says and pauses before one of the taller bushes. We don’t have such plants in our kingdom and I notice how interested he is in everything here.

“I miss her too. “ I admit, pausing to look at the plant with him.

My father speaks without turning to me.

“Are you really happy here, Alex?”

It takes me a second to respond. I don’t even know what I'm doing here anymore. But I can’t say that. At the same time, I also know that “yes, I am doing all right here” would not entirely be a lie.

“I know you felt bad about leaving Eliot. “My father speaks before I answer and I turn to him.

The stab of guilt pierces me because I haven’t thought about Eliot for a while. I am the lowest….

“But he… there’s something about him I never liked. “ My father says.

“Oh, Dad. “

“I know, I know, “ he lifts a hand, “This is in the past now. You and Nathaniel look so in love I am happy for you. I just felt like I needed to say it. I also felt so guilty when you were sent here. There were days I thought maybe I made a terrible mistake and you should be with Eliot, even though he is an omega. After all, your happiness is more important than your origin. But now that I see you are so happy with Nathaniel, I can leave you here peacefully. “

“I…” I open my mouth to speak, to argue with him. At the same time, he is supposed to think Nathaniel and I are happy together.

“Do you forgive me?” he asks, surprising me with the question.

“Forgive you? Why?”

“For deciding for you, “he says, “For sending you here. “

My heart clenches and I think of how different life would have been if it wasn’t for his decision to send me here.

But I nod. For some reason, I feel like it would be better if I made peace with this decision now.

“I forgive you, “ I say, “it was for the better of the kingdom. “

“You sound like a real queen, now. “he grins, “I will blame it on the time you spend with Nathaniel. “

“He is…” I frown at something in the distance, not continuing.

“His uncle is very caring, “my father says, “But I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for Nathaniel to lose his parents and his brother. To become a king so early, he is only a year older than you, and…”

I glance around and continue in a lowered voice.

“I wouldn't trust his uncle so much. And Nathaniel is not so great. “

My father laughs.

“Ah, of course - just like your mother She would always be the first to criticize me- openly and for the sake of helping me become a better leader. But criticizing me nevertheless. “

I can't tell him how far he is from the truth and that the comparison between me and Nathan with him and my mother is ridiculous, so I simply mutter a “yeah. “

“So, “my father says, “When is the wedding?”

“What? “ I snap. Okay, there’s no hiding this at least.

“We are not getting married. “ I declare and my father frowns.

“But why not? “

“Because…” I resume walking and kick a small pebble from the path. “I think things are fine as they are now.”

“Whatever you decide, my dear. “ my father nods.

We continue walking and talk about back home, places we went to when Laura and I were kids, we discuss cousins and relatives, and what happened to who once we grew up.

“Next time you come home, “my father says, “I will make sure you have more time with your sister. She really misses you. And bring Nathaniel too, even if he still isn’t your husband. “

I give my father a pointed look and hook my hand around his forearm.

“Tell her I miss her too. “

Opal flies to us and joins us.

“This is Ooal, “ I inform my dad who is looking at the bird wide-eyed.

“The raven has a name?”

“Oh, yes, “ I nod. “They name the animals here. “

“So strange, “ my father shakes his head and Opal fixes his eyes on my father.

“He looks like…”

“He can speak?” I finish for my father, “I know. He is not like the others. “

Opal jumps on my shoulder and we continue walking. We soon have to go back and my father gets ready for departure.

Nathaniel and I see my father and his beats off officially and Sirius doesn't even show up.

But as I look up I see Sirius looking at us from one of the windows on the third floor of the castle.

“You lost this one, old man, “ I think as I look up and meet his eyes. Then I turn my back on Sirius and watch my father’s carriage disappear down the road.

Little did I know back then that Sirius didn’t let go so easily.

Oh, not at all.

***

Lave and I continue practising as usual. I finish training for the day I head back to my room.

“Alexandra!” I hear the familiar voice and slow down to wait for her.

“Maeve, hey. “

“Did your father get home safely?”

“Yes, I received a letter earlier today. By the way, I never thanked you for helping me out that time. “

“It’s nothing, “ she waves a hand, “We all wanted to escape the disaster. “

“No, I mean… also for trusting me. I know you were all thinking I was on Sirius' side. “

“Yeah, “ she says and leans against the wall. “It was one of the reasons why Nathaniel didn’t want to be around you. “ she says. “ But I also thought you would never be on Sirius’s side. “

“I still can’t believe Opal did all this. “

“He is strange, yes, “ she laughs. “And I am sorry for everything that’s happened to you since you came here. And I’m sorry my brother still thinks you can’t be trusted. “

“I guess I am okay with this as long as he doesn’t try to kill me again. “I say, “I know he and Nathaniel are still messing with my head but…”

“What are you talking about?”

Maeve asks, frowning.

“Well…” I shrug, “Sirius said Nathaniel sometimes uses Blade’s powers to get what he wants. And I know he still does it with me. I also know about your ability. “

Then I quickly add “ But I am not mad at you. I would have tried the same if I were you, it’s just…“

I don’t tell her exactly how Nathaniel is still messing with me but I am sure my blush speaks enough for itself.

Maeve searched my face, then she pressed her lips together.

“Uh… I am not sure if I follow you?” Maeve says, confused.

I take a deep breath and try again.

“Look, Maeve. I owe you for helping that time. And I am okay with what you do. I also understand Kai’s power, I just don’t like it…”

Maeve’s expression changes entirely. She tilts her head and asks.

“What did Sirius tell you, exactly?”

“That Nathaniel uses your powers sometimes to… you know. Get what he wants?”

“That’s not how it works, “ she says.

“What… Do you mean?”

“Well… “ Maeve begins, “It works only if we are close to one another. And not always. Besides, Kai said his powers didn’t work on you. At all. And Nate never asked him to use them on you, it was my brother’s dumb idea…”

Oh, no… I tell myself as I begin to understand what she is saying.

“And it’s not like Nate can “borrow” them.“ Maeve goes on, “I am still learning how to use mine and so does Kai. Really, we are not that strong yet... whatever you and…”

She continues speaking but I am not listening anymore because my heart is pounding like mad. But what about the visions and the wolf I saw…

Oh, no… I keep chanting in my mind. So this was all me. He didn’t do anything, I really wanted him. No, no, no…

This is even worse…I can’t face Nathaniel anymore.

But I will have to. Pretty soon at that.