The Alpha King and His Human Queen

I Know This Wolf

Alexandra

I am trapped between his palms, unable to move. My heart is beating fast, and he knows it. He also knows I am not scared.

Or am I? What am I feeling?

Nathaniel’s eyes are burning, the deepest red I’ve seen and every time I look at them, the colour looks brighter than before.

A stray lock of his dark hair falls in front of his eyes, hiding them, and making him look even more untouchable. He is here, the distance between us is just a few breaths and yet I know nothing of him. The thought is surprising. Of course, I know things about him….I know enough to run, to be aware of how dangerous he is. But my whole body reacts to him. To the proximity, to his scent. To his body, naked from the waist up.

I want to touch him- my hands are free, and he is not holding me down physically because he is on his knees, his palms still placed firmly around my head, on the bed. Our bodies are not touching anywhere. And all I want is to wrap my arms around his back and pull him towards me. I want to feel his body against mine, to tell him “rip my dress past and let me feel your skin on mine. “

I don’t know why it’s happening. But desire fills me, he is all I can think about. It’s like past, present, what he’s done, who I was before, my home, my family, my mate - none of this matters at this moment. All of this- who we are, all the reasons why this is madness sink under the surface of my need to feel him. To ask him to kiss me, to taste him.

The thought doesn’t startle me anymore. And I am sure he knows what I am thinking, or he can easily guess.

For a second we just stay like this- breathing against each other, my breath is coming out in rasps.

Nathaniel’s expression is unreadable, but then something changes - it's like his resolve shifts and he leans slightly in. I can tell he is fighting- I don’t know against what. Perhaps with himself.

Nathaniel is hesitating- whether to continue what he’s started or…

And he leans slightly in, his body coming closer to mine. The scent of his skin invades my senses. My heart is drumming painfully and my lips part with anticipation.

That’s when my entire mind is filled with images - woods, heavy rain, large fires and flames -just like the first time I saw him. But now things change- the flames start growing, burning the whole world down.

I see a giant black wolf, running through a forest, towards the crimson flames in the distance. The flames keep rising, I can feel their heat, licking at the skin of my hands. Burning them.

The wolf pauses and looks around. The lands are burning.

I hear screams and pleads, I hear words that don’t form coherent sentences in a language I don’t understand.

The blood after - it’s dripping from the wolf, pooling around his paws. He resumes moving. He is leaving red marks as he runs, staining the grass in red.

I know this wolf. Because I am this wolf. No. I am running away from this wolf. This wolf hates me. I know nothing about this wolf. No.

This wolf wants me. This wolf is the love of my life.

All those thoughts are running in my mind, all at once and I flinch as the wolf turns around and fixes his crimson eyes on me.

Nathaniel flinches too and instantly pulls away from me and jumps to his feet.

I get up from the bed instantly and we are both staring at each other. I am breathing heavily as if I have really been running- just like the wolf.

Nathaniel looks… startled. He is surprised by something as much as I am.

What just happened? Did he have the same vision too? But that’s not possible, no…

“I…” I open my mouth and Nathaniel takes another retreating step, then he starts looking around for his shirt.

“You can take the bed, “ he says, not looking at me, fumbling with the cloth.

I can’t look at him either.

“No, no… I say, “I can go somewhere else, or…”

or what… Will he think I am crazy if I ask him if he saw something too? Did I imagine all of it and he just changed his mind mid-way and nothing happened, he just decided he didn't want me? Is it way more simple than I imagined? Did I do something to make him change his mind?

Am I losing my mind?

Nathaniel is already getting dressed as he is walking towards the door.

“Wait, I want to…”

He is already gone before I ask what the hell happened. Because right now- I can tell for sure - he didn't know what happened either.

As I glance around I discover Opal is gone too. I sit heavily on the bed, catching my breath. I flop backwards and stare at the ceiling. I can still feel Nathaniel’s scent, lingering around me.

“I am going to lose it here, “ I say out loud. Then I rehearse what I am going to tell Nathaniel the next time I see him.

Because I will see him, it’s inevitable.

But back then, I didn’t know it would be a very long time before I saw Nathnan again.

***

Two weeks later

“You hold your position like this, “ Lave says, “Well done. “

“I am still unsure of how to duck when you attack to the left. “

“Yes, “ he nods, “because you favour your other side. But with practice, it won’t be so quickly obvious to your opponent. “

I exhale heavily.

“I hope it won’t take forever. Because this is how it feels. “

“Nah, “ he waves a hand, “You are a very fast learner, don’t worry. “

“Am I?” I ask, and for the first time since we started, I smile.

“Yes, “ he encourages me, “You are. Now, let’s continue. “

We continue practicing. I haven’t seen Nathan since that night. The night I saw the black wolf. And he simply disappeared. The next day a servant came and informed me there was a room prepared for me. No other explanation. I asked Lave where Nathan was and he just said: “he had to leave to the south. “

I asked why and Lave shrugged it off as “The King’s matters. “

No one tells me anything else and there aren’t many people I can ask. So I started practicing with Lave and it’s been going semi-well.

“You’ll soon be able to join the others, “ he says as we take a break. “You can come to some of the practices in the yard. If you want to, of course. “

“Maybe. But I am still too bad. “

“Oh, come on, “ he nudges me,” You’ll eventually have to. We can’t keep practising here, because the longer you train with someone the better you know them and they get more easily predictable. “

“I am still wayyy too far behind this stage. “ I laugh. Lave and I have been practising in a small hall - he said I need to learn the basics first before I could try fighting with anyone.

“I think another week or two and you’ll be fine. “ he says, “As I mentioned- you learn quickly.”

By the time we finish practice, I am all sweaty and panting heavily.

“Enough, “ he says. “You need to rest. “

“No, I can go on!” I argue but he says if I overdo it I won’t be able to get up the next day. And I can't miss a whole day. I’ll lose my mind if I do.

So I agree. As soon as we exit the training hall I hear someone walking behind us.