Artemia: Journey To The Thirtieth Floor

58. Nothing But A Soul

"What in the world are you talking about?" I asked, outraged after hearing what Yuki had said.

Yuki greeted me with a kind grin as if what she had just said was not a big issue at all. I gritted my teeth, fully aware that it was the only choice we had so we could survive at this point in time. But I don't believe I'd be able to stand the thought of her doing anything like that. A person taking her own life...will never feel right with me.

When Yuki sat alongside me, I looked down, unable to muster the courage to utter the words that I wanted to express. It seems like Yuki has already made the decision to go through with it. There was no sign of hesitancy on her expression, indicating how ready she was to go through with it. We're not sure whether this would work, but Yuki was certain that it would. I had the impression she simply knew what she had to do, and she was not going to budge from her decision. And I despise the fact that she believed that killing herself was the only way to rescue everyone else.

"Ivory, please accept my apologies for what I'm about to do-"

"Why?" Kasai asked, his head down as he squeezed his hands in frustration.

In the face of the clouds that were encircling the mountain's crest, Enkai's jaw clenched a little more. "Yuki, please don't tell me you have no regard for your own life anymore."

"That's not it..."

I was well aware that everyone would be disappointed at Yuki's choice and that the twins would most certainly despise it to the depths of their hearts. But Fuyumi didn't seem to be troubled by it in the least. The way she looked at Yuki, it was as if she had expected her to say something like that. Perhaps I also had a premonition that things would turn out this way, but I couldn't bring myself to accept it.

Yuki sighed as she made the decision to keep quiet. Even though she is well aware that no one wants her to go to such an extent, she still wants to go. It seems like none of us will be able to persuade her differently at this point, but what authority do we have to intervene? She had given up a great deal for the sake of Artemia's future, including her loved ones. And it was none other than us who compelled her to make those decisions. Oh, wait. I never pushed her to do such things, did I?

"This was the only thing I could come up with at the time. Since learning about what can happen in the future, I've been convinced that I must die before Leon has a chance to seize control of the situation. He wouldn't be able to get his hands on the core in this way."

"Okay, I understand..."

My mouth dropped open as I glanced at the twins, unable to believe that they could so readily agree with Yuki on such a simple point. I expected them to be stubborn and try to persuade Yuki to alter her opinion. Yuki's face was flushed with astonishment because she braced herself in case the twins reacted violently. Fuyumi smiled from the side as though she knew why the twins had behaved that way.

And I, who is an outsider in this place, was completely baffled as I saw them. The four of them were the only ones who could fully understand one another, which made me feel out of my element. Perhaps this isn't the place in which I belong, after all. And it is precisely for this reason that I chose not to speak out against Yuki's choice. It was something she must have given a lot of thought to. Besides, I know that she will continue to live in my heart and mind in the future. She is not going to die, and that much is obvious.

"So, you understand what I'm saying...?" Yuki trailed off as she locked her gaze on Kasai.

Kasai smiled and nodded. "If you wish to die, we will accompany you. We won't mind even if you wish to travel to the depths of hell."

Enkai agreed as he smiled at Yuki. "We made a promise to each other, didn't we? No matter where one goes, the rest follows."

Quite an odd promise, to say the least. I pursed my lips together while looking at Yuki to see how she responded to what the twins said. She seemed to be in awe of the situation, and she looked like she was going to cry. I couldn't do anything except stare at her, trying to figure out how she was going to do such a thing. It takes a lot of courage to do harm to oneself, and I truly don't want Yuki to go down that path. I despise it when individuals put themselves in danger for the benefit of others, other than the fact that she looks precisely like me...

I got to my feet and walked to the other side of the ring where they were. They have most likely opted not to speak about it and instead focus on enjoying their last moments. I came to the realization that even if people choose to suffer for the benefit of others, it doesn't sit well with me in the least. Maybe there's something I should do while I'm here that I've forgotten. But upon knowing that I am merely a soul, I also realized that I am powerless to stop them at this point.

Perhaps it has something to do with the passage of time and memory. I believe Yuki is aware of what is going on and how Kasai will not perish at this place and time, but I think I still need to speak with her about it. Sai would most likely be furious if he found out, but it is exactly how the future should work. Well, at least that's how it's supposed to be. But if we do not have a clear understanding of what we need to accomplish, we may end up interfering with the normal flow of events. Ah, but what in the world am I supposed to do in this situation?

Then I saw that my hands were still as transparent as f**k, so I took a closer look. All I could do was sigh heavily as I tried to summon whatever elemental force that could be there inside me. After a few minutes of futile attempts, I finally gave up and just stared at the scenery in front of me. Unfortunately, I didn't have any mana left in me. The only reason I'm still alive in this timeline is...probably because Yuki was channeling her life force with me on a continual basis. Otherwise, I would have disappeared since I do not have a physical body right now.

"Ivory, Ivory..." Fuyumi sang my name over and over again in a sarcastic tone. It took all of my might not to chuckle as I turned away, feeling defeated and infuriated because of the state that I was in. "I'm assuming you're now familiar with the sensation of being both alive and dead at the same time?"

"Yeah. To be quite honest, it's not a nice feeling."

"Oh, but you don't look to be departing anytime soon. Yuki has been feeding you with her life power, as I've seen. That's a bit unfair to me, to be honest," she replied as she locked her gaze on me, looking indifferent.

Fuyumi does not emanate the warmth that Freya does, leading me to believe that Freya may change by the time I return to the current time. It scared me, to be honest. Although I have my doubts that she would since I have no intention of committing war crimes and sacrificing my loved ones when I return to the present time. Whatever the circumstance, all I want is to feel their warmth once again.

"What exactly do you want with me?" I asked, irritated as I looked her in the eyes.

She shot a brow upward and then snickered. "You are way too uptight. I just wanted to know how you were feeling."

"In my opinion, that's a peculiar way of asking about someone's feelings."

"I was only trying to play around with you since you were being way too serious."

"I am in no mood to go along with your whims."

After I said those words, there was complete silence between the two of us. I have always felt hurt because of Fuyumi's predicament, but I can't help but be impolite now that I'm in a position in which I feel like I'm fighting this battle by myself. I never imagined that I would miss the company of the three fools to such a great amount. I've just now recognized that I'm not Ivory without them, and because of that...I feel so f*****g lost.

I sighed as I glanced at Fuyumi, attempting to determine whether or not she had enough of messing around with me. So when I saw her serious look, I realized that she had finally decided to engage in serious conversation. Fuyumi groaned as she tried to grip my hand in hers but failed miserably. As her hands merely passed through mine, she seemed dissatisfied because of this. That's exactly how I feel as well!

"You know, I knew I had to die in this timeline for Artemia's sake..." she began but then stopped herself mid-sentence.

I raised my brows in concentration. "Really, now?"

She made a snorting sound at the way I replied to her. "I have a much stronger bond with Yuki than anybody else. That's why I was forewarned about what would happen if we moved in this direction. And I was the one who pushed Yuki to hold on to her hopes for the future as well. In some ways, I was responsible for the creation of this whole situation."

"You've convinced Yuki that she should sacrifice her humanity since you've lost yours, right?" I asked in a sarcastic tone, knowing well that Fuyumi would not take my question seriously.

She smiled and nodded. "I assume you were aware that I was the one who murdered my mother. Please accept my apologies for lying about her death."

"You had to lie because you were afraid that if you spoke the truth, people would think you were a monster. Although it was obvious that you did not want to do such a thing, they were not going to let you off the hook. Of course, people will only see the bad things in you."

I could hear Fuyumi gritting her teeth, furious because of what I said. "When Orca left us to focus on conspiring against Yuki with Leon, my mother could no longer absorb Orca's life energy and was compromised. The two of us were robbed of a means of continuing our lives without devouring someone else's life or their life force at the very least. And then there came the fateful day when a wandered got lost and sought assistance from us."

"You were frightened, weren't you?" I asked as I turned to face her.

Fuyumi smiled and nodded. "We had no option but to allow him in, even though we were concerned about how things might turn out given that we were starving. My mother devoured him because she couldn't take any more of it. When I saw her, the only thing that came to mind was that she was an adult who had been denied something that permitted her to survive. Inside my mind, I kept believing that she was only claiming what was hers because I didn't want to see her as a monster."

"Did you not feel the same hunger?" It was a question she needed to answer since I was aware of her attempts to avoid addressing it throughout the years. I was relieved when she finally did. At least, that's what I observed in the dreams that she showed me.

"Maybe I did, but I made the decision to push those thoughts to the side. It didn't matter to me since I didn't have nearly as much desire to consume someone else's life force as my mother had. However, all I could think of was sympathy at the time."

"Your mother believed she needed to live because you were still a kid," I responded as I played with the snow around me. "She was well aware that you would find it difficult to deal with things on your own if she were to pass away. Her rationale was completely broken at that time, so she finally made the decision to do something she had always despised. Given the fact that your clan was on the verge of extinction, it's possible that it was also a survival instinct."

Fuyumi chuckled as she shook her head and continued. "Ivory, you're really starting to go insane. Those are not the words I expected to hear from you, but I am grateful for them. I think those were the blunt opinions that I needed to completely move forwards..."

I nodded as I attempted to touch the snow repeatedly, thinking that I would at the very least be able to feel them. It was simply because all that was left of me were my feelings. My sense of touch has entirely vanished, and now it seems as if I am on the verge of losing my ability to use my emotions. Normally, I would have felt awful about bringing up such topics since it may lead Fuyumi to feel saf. But suddenly, I was able to express them without faltering or even pausing.

Ah, I don't really like this...

"I must admit, you are completely right with everything you said. My mother and I were both aware that she had lost herself during that exact moment. That is exactly why she pleaded with me to end her life before it was too late to save her. And that's exactly what I did. I took her life with the same sword that she used to wield back when she was known as the Winter Warrior."

"Why did the two of you keep that act, though? I meant the Winter Warrior thing."

"Everyone would have been puzzled if they had discovered that we used all kinds of elements at the same time since only members of certain demon clans were capable of doing so. And it is for this reason that we did not make use of our true skills."

In the aftermath of our chat about her background, the two of us stayed quiet. I never imagined that we would be discussing such sensitive topics when we are in this circumstance. To be quite honest, I was expecting us to be chatting about the future instead. I mean, there are plenty of topics that we are required to address, such as the things that should take place for me to be able to travel through time in the future. Wait, what...?

"It aches in my head..." I murmured.

"You are literally numb right now."

Oh, right...

"I think we need to go back there and talk things over with Yuki and the two idiots," she said as she rose to her feet and brushed the dust off her dress with her hands.

I nodded and followed in their footsteps. But just as we were going to approach them, we saw a massive spear coming straight at us...