Forget Me, Hate Me, but Don’t Love Me

Chapter 4: Cracks in Stone

It's the morning light that cuts across the sky but it's just another day. Another day to face the same half-truths and the same bothersome questions that never leave me. I stand at the window and watch as the first hints of sunlight break over Iradel Pack's territory. This land... It's ours and it's been that way for centuries. But even though we've moved forward and built these steel and glass structures and integrated with the world beyond those cliffs, it still feels like we're rooted in the past.

Everything here is mine. The towering cliffs surround us and the river runs like a vein through our land. Yet there's a restlessness I can't shake. It's like the earth under my feet knows something I don't. There are days when the quiet eats at me and reminds me of everything I can't control. And it's not just this place; it's Mara. She's back and it's only a matter of time before I have to confront what she's done.

My hands curl into fists. The betrayal, the lies... But now she doesn't even remember it. A clean slate. That should make things easier but it doesn't. I can't stop watching her because I wait for that flicker of memory to come back and remind her of the past we share. To remind her why I can't just let it go.

The territory stretches out before me and it's miles of land where the pack thrives. It's modern and sleek but I know better. I know that under the polished surface there are cracks. The woods that surround us are wild and dangerous and filled with things we pretend don't exist anymore. There's a part of me that envies them, the wolves that still remember what it's like to be free of all this responsibility and control.

The pack house looms behind me and it's silent but ever-watchful. It's more than just a place to live; it's a fortress. A reminder that we're not like them. The humans, the cities, the noise... It all seems so far away even though it's not. I can see the city skyline from here and see the roads that lead out of our territory. But I'm trapped here as much by my duty as by my need for revenge.

This land... It's beautiful in its own way. The cliffs, the rivers, the endless stretch of forest. It's ours. But it's a prison too. No matter how far I go or how much I build I can't escape what happened here.

What she did to me. To us.

I never call her for breakfast but today something is different. Maybe it's the need to remind her of her place or maybe it's something else. Whatever it is, I send for her and tell the servant to bring her to the dining hall. The others are already there—Rourke, Finn, and... Kiera.

Kiera sits at the table with her usual flirtatious smile on her lips. I don't even look at her as I sit down. She's been clinging to the idea that she's my bride-to-be, and I've let her believe it because it's easier that way. But the truth is she is nothing more than a placeholder. Someone to keep the others in line and to remind them that the Alpha isn't alone.

Mara arrives a few moments later and her eyes scan the room, uncertain. I don't know if it's her lack of memory or her natural I-don’t-give-a-f**k behavior but she walks in like she owns the place. Not docile, not submissive like she used to be. There's a fire in her that wasn't there before and it makes me want to put her back in her place even more.

Kiera is quick to strike. “Oh, Mara,” she says condescendingly. “You’re looking... well. I hope you’re getting settled in, now that you’re back where you belong.”

Mara doesn't respond and watches her with that calm, infuriating look that shows she's not taking the bait. But Kiera leans in and rests her hand on my arm as she speaks. “You know, Lucian and I have been planning our future together. I thought you might want to know—since you’ll be seeing a lot of me. I am going to be his bride, after all.”

I can see the flicker of something in Mara's eyes—confusion, maybe anger—but she says nothing. Kiera's words are a lie but they serve their purpose. It keeps Mara off balance and keeps her guessing about where she stands.

The servant comes in with a tray of food. Hot steam rises from the dishes as they are placed on the table and then something happens. The tray tips as the server's hand slips and before I can think it's Mara who's in danger. The food, the heat—it's all about to pour on her.

I react without thinking. My hand shoots out and grabs the edge of the tray before it can tip completely and I pull it back to balance. My other hand reaches for Mara's shoulder and I steady her as I pull her away from the table's edge. She is frozen with wide eyes and stares at me as if she can't understand why I'm helping her.

“Careful,” I say gruffly, my hand still on her shoulder. “You could’ve gotten burned.”

Her eyes search mine for a moment as if she's trying to read something in my face. But then I let go and step back. The moment is gone and I return to my seat without another word.

It's later after breakfast when it happens again. I'm heading up the stairs with Finn by my side, and we are discussing the trade negotiations from earlier in the week. My mind is elsewhere because I am half-focused on the conversation and everything else. Mara is ahead of us and climbs the stairs slowly with her back turned.

And then she trips.

I don't think. I just react.

In a split second, I leap up the stairs and jump ten steps in a single motion. My arms catch her before she can hit the ground and pull her up against me. The force leaves both of us breathless; her eyes are wide as she looks up at me, startled.

I can see it in her face—she's shocked. Not just by the fall but by me, by the fact that I caught her, that I'm holding her. For a second, everything else fades away and it’s just the two of us as we stand there, too close and too aware of each other.

But I let her go. I step back and the moment ends as quickly as it began.

"You need to be more careful," I say more roughly than I intend.

She just nods but the look in her eyes lingers. Something has shifted between us and I don't know what to do with it.

Later that morning I pace the hallway as I wait. Finn finally arrives and in his hand is the VCR tape. It took him long enough to get his hands on it but it's here now.

"It wasn't easy," Finn says as he hands it over. "But I've got it."

We don't waste any time. We head straight to my room where I have the player ready. I put the tape in and the hum of the machine is the only sound in the room as we wait for the video to start. My heart pounds in my chest and my mind races. This is the key to everything—what happened to my child, to the one piece of my life I've lost.

But as the tape plays, I realize that it's not what I was expecting. It's worse.

I curse under my breath and run a hand over my face. The images on the screen show nothing—no answers, no clues. Just emptiness. The frustration bubbles up inside me but I keep it in check.

"We'll find him," Finn says calmly and firmly. "We'll find your child."

I nod and try to keep the emotion out of my voice. "What about the passage? The box?"

Finn hesitates. "I'm still investigating the passage but I haven't found the box yet. It seems she threw it down a cliff in the Alpacho mountains. I spoke to some locals there and they said a woman matching her description passed through with a belonging a few months ago. But I'll retrieve it. I promise."

I sigh and stand up as the weight of it all presses down on me. "I have to find him, Finn. If nothing else, I have to make sure he survives. I know I've been a bad husband... I made mistakes. I blamed her wrongly but she did something far worse. And now, my children... They shouldn't suffer because of my failures."

Finn nods understandingly. "You won't repeat your father's mistakes. We'll find him. I'll keep looking."

I take a deep breath and let his words sink in. I can't let my child suffer. I won't lose him like my father lost me.

Finn looks at me seriously. "Has Mara shown any signs of remembering?"

I shake my head and cut him off. "Leave her out of this."

Finn nods again and bows slightly before he leaves the room.

I stand there for a moment and let the silence settle around me. Then I change into more casual clothes. I'm ready to head out. There are still things that need to be done and answers that need to be found.

And I won't stop until I have them.