The Distress of Being Mrs. Roche (Girl Power)

Kabanata 01

Kabanata 01

“Ariadne! Ranked 1 ka sa buong Political Science department!”

Napasinghap ako nang inalog ako ng malakas ng kaklase ko. Hindi pa ako nakakalapit sa bulletin board pero ‘yon na ang bumungad saakin paglabas ko sa classroom.

Kaya lumapit ako sa board at hinanap ang pangalan ko at hindi nga siya nagkakamali. Ako na naman ang top 1 sa buong department namin.

At sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam ano mararamdaman ko. Sa ngayon, gusto ko lang magpahinga at matapos ang semester na ‘to.

“Grabe! Umuulan ng uno!” Pahayag ng isa kong kaklase habang nakatingin kami sa bulletin board.

Halos lahat ng tao na nakapaligid saakin ngayon ay halos manghang-mangha saakin. Marami akong naririnig na bulungan na kesyo nasaakin na ang lahat.

Ganda.

Talino.

Katawan.

Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba ako matuwa sa kumento nila dahil para saakin, hindi ang mga bagay na ‘yon ang magdidikta sa kagandahan ng buhay ko. Bagkus, ‘yon pa ang nagiging hadlang saakin para sumaya.

“Ang tindi ni Lopez! President ng Student Council, Deputy in chief ng Scholars of Political Science tapos Dean’s lister pa!” Saad ni Marga isa sa mga blockmate ko.

Napailing na lamang ako at napabagsak ng balikat.

“It’s a heavy job as you can see,” Sambit ko at tinuro ang mata ko. Medyo visible na ang dark circles sa mata ko dahil sa puyat. Wala naman kasi akong ginawa kung ‘di mag-aral.

“Ang unfair sis hindi naman nakabawas ‘yan sa ganda mo!” Kumento ni Ashley. Isa sa mga kaklase ko.

Whatever they say, having that kind of achievement is more relief than accomplishment. I have to do better if I want to succeed in life.

And those achievements are not enough.

“Seems like that the Iron Eagle is unhappy with the result huh?”

Biglang tumaas ang balahibo ko nang marinig ang boses na ‘yon.

The jerk again.

“I think if there’s one person who’s not satisfied, that is you, Mr. Roche,” Seryoso kong sabi.

Paglingon ko dito ay tumambad lang naman saakin ang isang matangkad na lalaki na may matipunong katawan. Katamtaman ang kulay nito pero sa bungad pa lang ng mukha niya ay mapapatigil ka na dahil hindi katanggi-tanggi ang kagwapuhan nito.

I admire him but I don’t like his attitude.

“Well, are you threatened Ms. Lopez? You still haven’t moved on from the debate?” Pang-aasar na tanong niya saakin.

Napaismid naman ako nang sabihin niya ‘yon. I don’t know where his confidence coming from but I hate his existence.

Napasapo na naman ako sa ulo ko nang maalala ang debate namin. It was intense because it was the first time I was eaten up. Sabi ng mga kaklase namin, ‘yon na ang pinakamabait na Hades na nakita nila when it comes to recite and debate. Dahil pag-iba kalaban niya, kain na kain ang mga ‘to.

I must admit he’s really good. Hindi ko alam bakit hindi pa ako naalis sa top 1 dahil kung tutuusin, mas skilled siya sa field na ‘to kaysa saakin. Everyone knows him for being a dark horse. Unlike me, he doesn’t give a damn whether he’s on the list or not. He doesn’t like being in the spotlight.

“You know what Hades? Why don’t you f****d off?” Maanghang kong sabi at tinulak siya dahil nakaharang siya sa daraanan ko.

Pero imbis na tumabi ay hinarang niya pa ang katawan niya at nagpamulsa.

“What if I don’t?” Pang-aasar pa nito nang mas ikinainis ko.

“Then I’ll make sure you’re gonna rot even before you enter hell, asshole,” Pagkasabi ko n’on ay malakas kong tinapakan ang paa niya bago umalis.

Narinig ko ang daing niya dahil sa ginawa ko.

Serves him right.

Wala pa sa limang hakbang ang nagagawa ko nang marinig ko ang mahina nitong tawa.

Kaya napakunot ang noo ko at lumingon dito.

Pero parang nagsisi ako bigla dahil malawak lang itong ngumiti nang magkasalubong ang mata namin at kinindatan ako.

This man—

Hades Alwin Roche didn’t fail to ruin my day!

__________________

“Atty. Lopez!”

Nawala ang paglalayag ng utak ko sa kawalan nang magsalita ang abogado ko. Si Atty. Tuano.

“Pardon?” Gulat kong tanong dahil nakalimutan ko na may kausap pa pala ako.

“I said that if you want to have an annulment, you don’t have any choice but to attend the hearing,” Pag-ulit ni Atty. Tuano. One of my trusted friends in the field.

Napasinghap naman ako at seryosong tumitig sa kaniya.

“You know that I can’t do that,” Pahayag ko at nilaro ang ballpen ko. “You know that he’s looking for me.”

“But you can’t just run away! And your case isn’t easy because you’re his partner to his firm,” Giit nito at napahinga ng malalim.

“Other than criminal cases, you know that annulment proceedings can be dirty as hell lalo na pag may property at business kayo,” Sambit nito habang bagsak ang mukha. Halatang nai-istress na sa trabaho niya.

“That’s why I hired you. Because of that reason,” Sambit ko at napahilamos naman ito sa kaniyang mukha.

“And I’m telling you, okay lang sana kung ‘di sila susulpot sa proceedings eh but Hades’ legal team are persistent in going on war. He knows that it will be a golden opportunity to reveal yourself,” He stated.

Damn him. Why can’t he just let me go? It’s been 4 f*****g years! That guy doesn’t know how to be considerate.

“Tell him to f****d himself because I won’t go back! My life here in Florida is already good! He’s the one who screwed up kaya wala siyang karapatang magmatigas,” I ranted.

Napasapo naman si Atty. Tuano sa ulo niya at napailing.

“This is why I hate handling annulment cases,” Mahina niyang sabi. “Then don’t expect that your annulment will be easy. That guy can be a demon if he wants to. Matagal na sanang tapos ang annulment niyo kung gusto ka niya pakawalan.”

I already expected Hades will be stubborn. I don’t know what his motives of doing this but I know for sure it wasn’t for the love. Ilang taon na kaming hiwalay at imposibleng hindi pa siya nakakatagpo ng babae.

And in all honesty? I don’t care if he’s in relationship or not. Ang gusto ko lang talaga ay mahiwalay sa kaniya.

What he had done to me can’t be forgiven. Our marriage is unrepairable. I already moved on with my life kaya wala ng silbi kahit magkita pa kami.

“Paulit-ulit na lang tayo Atty. Tuano. I’m getting tired of this annulment stuff,” I said and sighed. “Who’s the head of his legal team?”

“Atty. Farrel.”

Napahampas ako sa lamesa nang sabihin niya ‘yon.

“What did you say again?” Pag-ulit ko pero bumagsak lang ang mukha ni Atty. Tuano. “Bakit ngayon mo lang ‘to sinasabi saakin?”

“Because just like you husband, you’re stubborn too, Ariadne.” Kaswal niyang sabi.

Napahilot ako sa sintido ko. There’s no way that this annulment will proceed the way I wanted. Atty. Farrel, his beloved friend, loves to do dirty tricks and can go too far.

The only person that could defeat that man is me.

“I thought it was Carmella?” I asked. One of my closest friend.

“Hades doesn’t want to take the risk. He knows that you’re a dearest friend to Carmella. There is a possibility that Carmella will purposely lose the case,” Paliwanag niya.

Bigla akong napatahimik dahil sa sinabi niya. Hades really doesn’t want to let go of me huh? Gusto niya talaga ako itali sa demonyo niya?

“This is ridiculous,” Kumento ko at napailing.

Bago pa makapagsalita si Atty. Tuano ay biglang may kumatok sa pinto ko at doon nakita ko si Annie.

“Atty. Lopez, the new junior associates are here,” Saad niya at maayos akong napatayo. Right. I’m in-charge for those kids.

“Tell them ’ll be there in a minute,” Pahayag ko at tumango naman ito.

Napabaling ako kay Atty. Tuano at tinapik ito sa balikat.

“I have to go, Attorney. “ Saad ko at sinuot ang coat ko. “Balitaan mo agad pag gumawa ng move ang kampo nila.”

Walang nagawa si Atty. Tuano at napatango na lamang.

“I also have to go. I need to prepare for my flight later,” Paalam niya. Tumango naman ako at ngumiti dito.

Nang mauna ‘tong umalis ay kinuha ko ang red-lipstick at compressed powder ko. Nag-ayos muna ako dahil

haharap ako sa mga bagong junior associates. I have to give a good impression. After all, I’m still the Iron Eagle.

Humarap ako sa salamin at napataas ng kilay.

I look decent with my black coat and nude body-hugging dress. But as soon as I changed my shoes into stilettos, I looked like someone who’d beaten you up with sharp words. In short, my aura is really intimidating and seems dangerous.

But I’m a tamed beast, unlike my ex-husband, who didn’t even bother to hide his horns and kept on giving me a headache.

Nang makita kong maayos na ang itsura ko ay kinuha ko ang folder na naglalaman ng pangalan ng mga bagong associates.

Honestly, this isn’t my job but apparently, I asked the seniors if they could hand me an internal works because I want to lie-low my image. I’ve been into a controversial case and I know if I kept myself in public, baka mahanap ako ni Hades.

And that is the last thing I want to happen. I don’t want him to find me. Alam kong hindi siya titigil sa kakahanap saakin.

As much as possible, I want to live my life independently. For now, I don’t want to associate myself to any men or date. Kuntento na ako sa buhay ko ngayon kaya ayoko na ng sakit sa ulo.

Pagkalabas ko sa opisina ay napayuko ang mga current junior associates at bumati saakin. I just gave them a nod and walked confidently.

Dahil wasak ‘man ang puso ko, pero hindi ang pangalan ko.

With a span of 4 years, I earned utmost respect and recognition in this firm. I am one of the few people who got promoted immediately after a year of working as a junior associate. And now, 3 years na akong mid-level associate.

Kung tutusin dapat nasa senior level na ako pero ako lang ang tumatanggi dahil may buhay pa ako sa labas ng korte at building na kinalalagyan ko. I have my personal life.

If there’s one thing I have learned through the years of my existence, that is not to revolve myself in one thing.

Ayoko na magpakaloko sa iisang bagay o magpakalunod dahil baka mawalan na naman ako ng importansya sa sarili ko. Sa ngayon, mas gugustuhin kong balansehin ang lahat kahit hindi ako ang pinaka “the best” sa larangan na ‘to.

Ang mahalaga, hindi ako gumigising na may mabigat na pasan.

I rather stay in this lane and enjoy my life outside work than be a top-tier lawyer but doesn’t have a personal life.

And I’m done crying. I already consumed half of my years here in states agonizing about my failed marriage. It’s time to do something good for myself and have a freedom.

But it doesn’t mean na maayos na ako, hindi na ako nasasaktan.

There are times that my memories with Him flashed in my mind randomly. And it was the good ones which is unfortunate dahil mas nararamdaman ko ‘yung sakit ng ginawa niya saakin.

And annulment will be the only solution to end those sudden flashbacks. Dahil habang nakatali saakin ang pangalan niya, mas lalo ko lang nararamdaman ang prisensya niya.

I want to be okay. I want to live my life all by myself.

At sa tingin ko, karapat-dapat ng bigyang pahinga ang puso ko sa pagmamahal. Dahil kung hindi, at pinilit ko pang i-worked out ang marriage namin. Mas lalo lang ako masasaktan.

Ayoko ng umabot muli ako sa sitwasyon na kung saan pati ang worth ko bilang babae kwestyunin ko muli.

Tama ng nasaktan ako sa sugal ng pagmamahal. Ayoko ng idamay pati ang pagtingin ko sa sarili ko.

Nang makarating ako kung saan naghihintay ang mga associate ay tumungo ako sa harap nila at tumayo ng tuwid.

“Sorry to keep everyone waiting,” Panimula ko at suminghap.

“I’m Atty. Ariadne Kartini Lopez and I’m the Mid-Level Associate of this firm,” Pakilala ko sa sarili ko. I’ll be the one to supervise each one of you, so it is your job to do what I say.”

“And under my supervision, there is no room for mistakes. Take note that just like a doctor, you are going to be responsible for your client’s future.”Seryoso kong sabi at lahat sila nagkatinginan.

Everyone seems so afraid of me, and that’s good. For starters, it is an ordinal rule that pain comes first before relief.

I don’t like incompetent people. That’s why I’m hard on them firsthand.

Patunayan muna sarili nila bago nila ako ngitian.

“Is that clear?” Tanong ko na may matalim na tingin at tumango agad ang mga ito.

“Any questions?”

Napabaling ang tingin ko sa isang babae na nagtaas ng kamay.

“You. With blonde hair. What is your question?” Turo ko at wala pa ‘man akong sinasabing masama ay para na itong nangisay.

“U-uhm—I don’t want to be rude or something but I want to ask if what should we call you—uhm—-is it Atty. R-Roche or Atty. Lopez,” Alanganin nitong tingin.

Halos lahat ng bagong sampa sa firm ay napatulala dahil sa tanong niya. Pati ang paralegal ng firm na kakadaan ay napatulala sa tanong ng baguhan.

Marinig ko lang nag apilyedo na ‘yon ay nanginginig na kalamnan ko.

Kaya napataas ako ng kilay at binigyan ito ng matalim na tingin.

“B-because it says that you—-“

“What’s your name lady?” Tanong ko dito at balisa itong napatulala saakin.

“Kate Fischer,”

“You’re out.” Mabilis kong sabi at agad itong nagulat.

“W-what but I didn’t——“

“Have you listening?” Mabilis kong tanong at mariin tong napalunok.

“Attorney?”

“Can somebody tell her?” Baling ko sa iba pero wala nagtangkang mag-presenta.

Akmang magsasalita ako ng may nagtaas ng kamay.

Pagkatingin ko ay isang matangkad na lalaki at matipuno ang katawan ang bumungad. What do I mean by tall was that, he’s really tall.

He has an athletic body and brown hair. I assumed that he’s not my associates.

“Ariadne Kartini Lopez,”

Malalim ang boses nito nang sabihin ang pangalan ko.

At nang mapalingon ang lahat ay napangisi ang lalaking wala akong ideya kung sino at matindi ang tingin sa gawi ko.

“Ariadne Lopez, one of the best lawyers I know and indeed…dashing,” Saad nito nang ikinalunok ko.

Who the hell is this alluring stranger invading my sanctuary?