The Spare Dragon

6. Prisoner

***Vanessa***

“So, you’re a king?” I ask, the dragon remaining still at my bedside.

For a long time, he says nothing, his eyes wandering to Naomi before settling on me.

“Are you hurt?” he asks, completely ignoring my question.

I grow annoyed with his answer. After everything that happened last night, I think I’ve earned the right to know the truth.

“If you ignore my question again, I’m walking away for good. No more second chances,” I warn him, mustering every last bit of strength I have left. “Now, are you a king?”

He swallows before answering, “I am.”

“And those dragons who tried to hurt me… who were they?”

“I don’t know,” he explains. “But I’m looking into it.”

I study him in silence as I try to decipher whether or not he’s telling me the truth, but all I see is genuine concernin his eyes.

“Well, you saved my life. I don’t know if I should thank you or curse you for it, but… now what?” I ask, knowing our relationship is doomed.

A king wouldn’t marry a nobody. There’s very likely a princess already lined up to be his queen.

“What do you mean?” Remus asks.

“What do you want from me?” I snap, slowly losing my patience. I just want to end this nightmare already. “Do you need a formal rejection? Do I need to write a letter for your government so you can marry your fiancé? Do you want me to take an oath that I will never come looking for you? Do you need a pregnancy test to confirm I’m not pregnant? Do I need to apologize to your wife-to-be? What? What do you need?”

“I just need you to listen,” he urges, but I don’t want to listen. I don’t want to know all the reasons why I’m not good enough to be his mate.

“I want to go home,” I whisper, Remus shaking his head at me. “Fine, then I’ll find my own way home.”

“Unless wolves can suddenly fly, good luck with that,” he mutters as I climb out of bed.

I freeze. Just what the hell did I get myself into?

“You’re in the Sky Realm,” he explains, the panic bubbling in my chest. “It’s the realm of the dragons and sun creatures. The only way back home is to fly there.”

“Then take me home!”

“If you would just give me five bloody minutes—”

“I gave you two hours!” I retort, tears spilling onto my cheeks which only makes me angrier. I didn't want to let him see me cry anymore. “I sat there in the pub like an i***t for two hours just waiting, hoping you would show up and talk to me.”

“It wasn’t my fault!” he snaps back, both of us pausing when we hear Naomi groan angrily.

“Will you two shut up!” Naomi whines, rubbing her eyes tiredly as she sits up. “Some of us are trying to sleep!”

Remus and I stare at the little girl as she curls up again on the bed and wraps herself up in her blanket, turning over so that her back is facing us. Afraid to be scolded again, my mate opens the door to the balcony and ushers me outside.

“Please, just listen to me,” Remus says, cupping my cheeks so I can’t turn away from him.

We both feel the tingling sparks pulsating from his hands on my face, a gasp leaving his lips as they intensify when I place my hands on his bare wrists.

“Let me explain, and if — after all is said and done— you still want nothing to do with me, I’ll take you home and never speak to you again. Deal?”

When I don’t interrupt him, he pulls away and stands up a little straighter, my body missing his touch almost instantly.

“I’m sorry I was late,” he begins. “Naomi asked you out without informing me about it until after we returned home from the pub, and by then, it was too late for me to cancel. I already had a prior engagement scheduled; a meeting with my council members. I couldn’t miss it. I did the best that I could to be on time, but I decided to use this opportunity to speak to the council about us.”

“Us?” I murmur back, making sure not to let my hopes get too high.

There’s an us! Paloma howls excitedly, forcing me to block her out so I can think clearly.

“Yes, you see, I’m not technically king,” he explains, “not yet anyway. My coronation has been postponed until after I find a bride.”

A sinking feeling settles into the pit of my stomach as I realize where this is going.

“I came to power after overthrowing my older twin brother, Roman, a few months ago,” Remus continues, “and in doing so, I’ve made a lot of enemies with a lot of important people. My knights are hesitant to fight on my behalf and my own court doesn’t trust me to lead them. I am a usurper in their eyes, and I have an inkling that what transpired last night was because of me.”

Paloma snarls fiercely at the thought of someone hurting our mate, the little wolf barking so violently, I feel a headache coming on.

Calm the f**k down, I scold her.

“There are a lot of powerful lords controlling large regions of land, money, and knights in Alderon, so until I can figure out whom I can trust, I have to be careful with my council. One wrong move could plunge my kingdom into a civil war.”

I listen in silence as he explains the fragility of his kingdom but I don’t yet understand how it pertains to us.

“My council has decided to call a Ludus Electia — a selection game — to help me find the perfect candidate to be my Queen. Normally, I would have had an arranged marriage to a suitable partner, a noble, for example, but unfortunately, it appears I’m in desperate need of alliances.”

The wary look on his face doesn’t give me much confidence.

“Ten women from within my kingdom, as well as a few other neighboring lands, have been carefully selected to compete for my hand in marriage,” he says quietly, a sharp breath leaving my lips as I stare at him.

We never really had a chance, did we? I mumble to myself. All hope is lost.

“Believe me, I want nothing to do with this game or the harem that comes with it,” he reassures me.

“Harem?” I ask, my heart splintering into tinier pieces by the second.

“It is customary for the king to take on several concubines along with his wife,” Remus explains sheepishly, “...to strengthen political alliances. The women who lose the game will form part of my harem. It’s an old tradition I’ve never desired to participate in. But the harem is the least of my worries. I cannot be king without a wife. The game will ensure that I not only find a queen suitable to help me lead, but will also allow me to gain new alliances without insulting the nobles that lose.”

It doesn’t matter what way he spins it, all I understand is that he can’t be mine and mine alone. So why am I still clinging onto hope here? Why am I so f*****g stupid?

“Why are you telling me this?” I whimper, feeling my heart leap to my throat. “Why am I here? Why did you bring me here? To hurt me? To laugh in my face? What?!” I snap, slamming my palms against his chest and shoving him as far away as possible. “Why did you let me think I had a chance with you? Why did you come back and look for me? Why do you insist on being in my life?!”

“Because I want you!” he confesses, wrapping his fingers around my wrists and pulling me to his chest.

I look at him through tears, a frustrated sob leaving my lips.

“Because I want you,” he softly repeats. “Openly, and without regrets, no matter what anyone thinks or says. I want to be free to choose whom I get to spend the rest of my life with,” he says. “I’ve been trapped in my brother’s shadow all my life, given his scraps, and expected to be content as the ‘spare.’ But for once in my life, I would like to indulge in something beautiful, something just for me. I want you,” he says, lowering his voice to just a whisper. “I want to kiss you in front of all the court so they know whom I’ve chosen, but I can’t— not yet anyway. I have to play the game they want, but I’ve figured out a way to give us both a chance.”

“How?” I ask, my heart stubbornly refusing to let him slip away so easily.

“You need to play the game,” he answers. “The council refuses to let me take you as my queen outright, but they have agreed to let you compete against the other women for the crown. If you win, you will be Queen of Alderon, and I will forgo the harem entirely. It’ll just be you and me. But, if you lose, you can never be mine,” he says. “Not even as a concubine.”

The flame of hope in my heart extinguishes instantly at the thought of competing for someone’s love again. I have competed all my life for attention and have never once come out on top. This will be no different.

“So that’s it then? I either play your game and hope to win or I lose and never see you again?” I reply, a small, pained smile curling on my lips when he nods. “Well, then I’ll make this easier for both of us,” I say, clearing my throat as Paloma cries. “I, Vanessa Vasquez, reject you—”

“Wait, what are you doing?!” he says, the hurt in his voice palpable. “Do you have any idea how hard it was to get the council to agree to this?”

“I’m sorry for the trouble, but I’m sure you’ll find someone else to play for you,” I sneer. “I’ve competed my entire life for affection and I suck at it, so I’m done. I don’t have any more of me left to give to anyone.”

“Vanessa, I understand, but please—”

“No, you don’t!” I snarl at him. “You couldn’t possibly understand, because if you did, you wouldn’t ask me to do this. You have no idea how much it hurts to have to fight for just a sliver of someone’s attention, only to realize you’ll never be good enough. You’ll never be enough.”

I start to walk away but he grabs onto my wrists and pulls me back.

“Vanessa, wait!”

“You should have been paired with my sister,” I whisper, a pained look in Remus’ eyes. “Then you might have actually stood a good chance at experiencing all those beautiful things you want to experience. I’m sorry you got stuck with me, but at my very best, I’m just… mediocre. I was mediocre for my parents, for my ex-husband, his parents, my former pack… Everyone. I am mediocre, okay? I’m not a queen. I’m a piece of s**t. I am a horrible person. I can’t even stand myself sometimes. If I were to drop dead right now, absolutely no one would care, and I can’t even be upset about it because… I did this to myself. Me. I did this. No one else—”

I feel his lips crash against mine before I get a chance to speak another word, my body pressed against the castle wall as Remus holds me up by my thighs and wraps my legs around his waist. His hands grip onto my legs, and I become overly aware of the fact that I am not wearing anything underneath my nightgown— the maids having taken my wet clothes last night. A tingling sensation ripples down my spine to my core as I feel him gently caress my thighs with his thumbs.

“I’d care,” he whispers, his lips brushing up against mine with every word he says. “I’ve never known fear like I did when those dragons had you cornered in the forest,” he murmurs. “And in that moment, the idea of never getting a chance to steal another kiss from you was more terrifying than death.”

His lips are so warm and inviting, Paloma purring, content to be tucked away in our mate’s arms. But even his kisses cannot soothe the pain in my heart. After a lifetime of being compared to my sister, and being reminded of how small and insignificant I truly am, I am not willing to put myself through that humiliation again— not even for a mate. I already know I am not good enough. I don’t need to compete to know that.

“Put me down, Remus,” I sigh, Paloma protesting with a growl.

“Not until we figure this out!” he insists, my wolf howling in agreement.

“There’s nothing to figure out! I won’t win so just take me home, damn it!” I snap, growing frustrated that he’s not understanding the issue here.

“I can’t let you go home. Hate me all you want but you’re not leaving,” he says, a fire burning in my belly.

“Watch me,” I retort, his jaw clenching at the challenge in my voice.

He snakes his hand up to my neck and wraps his fingers around my throat, forcing me to look him in the eyes as he speaks. I blush as I look back into his fierce blue eyes, feeling the tingling in my core again.

“I almost lost my mind when those dragons attacked you. You’re staying here until I know it’s safe for you to be on your own. I’m not asking,” he says, the authority in his voice definitive. “You may think you’re insignificant. You may think your life doesn’t matter, but to me, you are my last hope” — he leans in closer so that his lips hover over mine but never touch — “so I am not letting you slip away so easily.”

I close my eyes when I feel his hot breath on my skin and lean in, our noses caressing each other as I brace for a kiss— but it never comes.

“I accept that you will not compete for me. But you will stay here. The maids will bring some clothes for you to wear during your stay,” he says quietly, gently setting me down and releasing his grip on my throat. “Breakfast is in an hour,” he announces, storming back into the bedroom.

Completely dumbfounded, I follow him inside, watching him scoop Naomi in his arms along with her plush lizard and prayer beads.

“Wait! What about my apartment and my job?!” I snap, knowing I’ll have to find another if I don’t at least call in to explain my absence.

“I’ll take care of it,” he mutters, walking towards the door. “Just stay here.”

“So, that’s it, then? I’m your prisoner?” I scoff.

“No, you’re my guest,” he retorts, turning the door knob.

“Guests can leave.”

“Fine, then you are my prisoner!” he snaps.

“Remus, you’re ruining everything!” Naomi shouts, her voice startling both of us as we realize she’s awake.

“I thought you were asleep,” Remus mutters, setting her down.

“I can’t sleep when you two are shouting in my ears!” she huffs, turning back to me and sighing. “I told you he’s no good with words,” she explains, taking a deep breath. “Will you please stay with us so Remus can protect you? Pretty please? He’s a dumb lizard, but he’s good. He’s just shy,” she pouts.

I turn my back to both of them, enraged that he’s somehow managed to convince the little girl to help him.

Please fight for him… Paloma whimpers. Please… for me.

My heart breaks at the desperation in her voice and I realize I’m being unfair to her. She is, afterall, also Remus’ mate, and unlike me, deserves a chance at happiness. A battle wages on in my head, a part of me wanting to compete for a chance at love while the other foresees a world of pain I’ll never recover from. If I stay and win, I’ll have proven myself wrong and discovered how strong I can be. But if I lose, I’ll have proven that I am nothing more than a waste of space— and lose my mate in the process. Yet, if I go home without trying at all, I’ll have robbed Paloma of a chance with her mate.

I have already stood in the way of love once. Perhaps this is my chance to redeem myself and let fate play itself out.

At least it’ll be rent free…

“Remus, say something!” Naomi hisses, shoving him towards me. “You have to tell her why you like her.”

She shoves him forward until he bumps into me and I turn to find Remus swallowing nervously as he tries to string together a few words. I wait anxiously for him to say anything, but before he can utter a word, we hear footsteps approach the room. Remus steps away from me instantly, his expression cold. It feels like yet another rejection, and it hurts to be pushed away so easily again.

Almost as quickly as he stepped away, Remus closes the distance between us, cupping my cheeks and pressing his lips against mine. Paloma forces her way forward, eager to feel the sparks of his kiss for herself.

“I’m sorry I’m hurting you,” Remus says, “but until I know who’s trying to harm you, it’s better no one knows what we are to each other.”

We hear a knock at the door, Remus gently pecking me on the lips one last time before taking Naomi’s hand and guiding her to the door. When he opens it, he finds three maids waiting outside the room, each carrying an assortment of clothes and other items while waiting patiently to be invited in. They bow to their king and step aside to let him through before hurrying inside to put away their load.

The maids turn to me and greet me with a good morning.

“Which dress would you like to wear, m’lady?” one of them says, holding out two different blue dresses.

“For what?” I ask, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Breakfast m’lady?” she says as if unsure herself. “His Majesty selected these for you.”

Do they not wear pants in this realm? I wonder, noticing I haven’t seen any women in pants since I’ve arrived.

“Well… do you have anything less… formal? It’s just breakfast,” I reply, the maids all looking at me as though I’ve grown a second head.

“Oh no, m’lady. Several nobles will be attending this morning,” the other replies sheepishly. “His Majesty was very clear: We are to make you look your very best.”

My hands feel clammy at the mention of other nobles. I can handle myself at Luna events but nobles? I’ve never met any nobility.

“So which dress m’lady?” the maid asks again.

What does one wear to breakfast with nobles? I panic.

How about asking the people who deal with nobles every day? Paloma suggests, a sigh of relief leaving my lips as I’m reminded that I’m not completely alone in this place.

“What are your names?” I ask, the maids stepping back to curtsey.

“I’m Navaeh, and this is Selah,” the maid replies, gesturing to others. “And that’s Tanya. Pleased to make your acquaintance, m’lady.”

I repeat the names to myself, hoping I don’t forget them.

“Well Navaeh, this is probably a stupid question,” I say, pinching my knuckles to soothe my anxiety. “But what would you wear if you were me? I’ve never been to a formal event with nobles before. What would be… a good choice?”

Navaeh smiles with excitement and has the other two hold the dresses up beside me. She circles me, humming to herself as she tries to decide.

“Well, you have beautiful shoulders,” she says, assessing the dresses. “And while you have a great figure, nobles tend to be a bit prudish in these settings, especially the older ones,” she shrugs. “Something soft and romantic will leave a much better impression with them, so I would go with this one, m’lady,” she says, pointing to the lighter of the two dresses.

The strapless dress has a lacy bodice with embroidered flowers running from the corset to the bottom of the skirt. The blue fabric is pale, almost pastel, and while it draws little attention, the dress is very elegant and whimsical.

“Shall we get started, m’lady?” Navaeh asks, plucking the dress from Tanya’s hands and removing it from the hanger.

I nod nervously, Tanya handing me a basket with my clothes from last night. I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited to put on panties again. Finally comfortable, the women get to work right away to help me change into the beautiful dress. It is a little big around my waist, but Navaeh is very good at what she does, pinning the fabric with some safety pins so it hugs my body nicely. As Navaeh works, Selah takes my measurements and tests some colored fabrics against my neck, writing down her notes on a small slip of paper. The length of the skirt runs a little long, but Navaeh also brings over a selection of shoes to give me some height.

“These belonged to the former concubines,” Navaeh says sheepishly. “Unfortunately, we had little time to prepare for your arrival. We spent all night cleaning them and making sure they were perfect,” she adds. “But no worries. His Majesty has asked us to go into town while you’re at breakfast, to get a brand new wardrobe for you.”

I don’t mind second-hand clothes, but it seems I have much smaller feet than dragons. After much deliberation, we opt for some closed-toe platform heels, Navaeh stuffing the toes with a pair of socks so my feet don’t slip out.

“The dress will still cover your feet,” she says encouragingly. “No one will notice.”

I feel like a clown in these shoes but I have nothing else to wear. A little defeated, I sit down at the vanity for Tanya and Saleh to work on my hair and makeup. Tanya curls my long hair in big sections and pins them up in a soft romantic up-do. Meanwhile, Saleh chooses a range of browns for my makeup to make my green eyes pop.

“All done m’lady, and if I do say so myself,” Tanya says, lowering her voice to a whisper, “I think you’re quite easily going to be the prettiest lady at the table today.”

The woman in the mirror is indeed very beautiful, but my looks do little to soothe the raging storm of anxiety in my head.

“Who will be at breakfast?” I ask, the maids eager to fill me in.

“Well, quite a few ladies and duchesses flew in last night, but not to worry,” Navaeh says. “You will blend right in.”

“A few more are arriving this afternoon,” Saleh adds. “The castle will be very busy over the next few weeks.”

“Right— Remus has to find a queen,” I sigh, the three maids looking anxiously at me. “What?”

“Might I suggest you not call His Majesty by his name in public,” Navaeh says hesitantly. “I’m not sure how things are run in your kingdom, but here in Alderon, all royals must be referred to by their noble titles. The king is always His Majesty and his parents are Their Majesties. The lords and ladies are always your grace or your ladyship.”

She proceeds to explain several titles but it’s all so confusing and gets jumbled in my head.

“We’re scaring you aren’t we?” Saleh sighs. “Our apologies, m’lady. A good trick when in doubt is to simply call everyone your grace and curtsy for them.”

“Now, when you make your entrance, there will be a knight at the door to the dining room,” Tanya adds. “You will give him this slip here,” she says, handing me a piece of paper with the name Lady Vanessa of the Ivory Phoenix Kingdom printed with gold foil. “He will make the announcement of your arrival.”

“Yes, and then you will walk in and take a seat at the table where your place card is. It’s by rank so you will find yourself amongst the other lords and ladies. Further up will be marchionesses and duchesses, and at the head of the table will be the royal family.”

“Anyway, we must get going now,” Navaeh interrupts. “We will be back with all new dresses for you. His Majesty has spared no expense. If there is anything you would like in particular, we’ll be more than happy to find it.”

I think for a moment, but all I want right now is to go home.

“Do you think you could bring me a sketchbook? And some pencils?” I ask, the maids nodding happily.

“Are you an artist, m’lady?” Navaeh asks.

There was a time in my life when I loved to draw. It was my escape from reality. But that all changed when my father told me to stop wasting my time on such a useless talent and focus on my studies.

“I just need something to keep my mind occupied,” I reply. “I’m not an artist.”

“Oh, well we’ll be sure to find you something,” Navaeh replies. “Have a lovely morning, m’lady and don’t be nervous. You’ll be fine,” she adds with a smile.

The three women excuse themselves, and for the first time since I’ve arrived in this palace, I am truly alone with my thoughts.

Lady Vanessa of the Ivory Phoenix Kingdom? I think to myself. Where on earth is that?

Does it matter? Paloma asks.

Yes! People are nosy! They’ll ask all kinds of questions about this kingdom and I won’t know the first thing about it!

Well, then just make them talk about themselves, Paloma suggests. Rich people always love to talk about themselves.

I’m not at all amused by this and hate that I have to go in blind to a breakfast I have no business attending.

A knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts and I quickly run to the door, hoping it's Remus so he can tell me why he lied about my rank.

“Hi, Miss Vanessa —err— I mean Lady Vanessa,” Naomi says with a cheeky smile. Her eyes widen when she takes a look at me and she squeals with excitement. “Eek! You look like a real-life princess!! I love your dress and your hair and your face! You’re so pretty!”

“Oh, thank you, your ladyship,” I reply with a blush. “You look very beautiful yourself,” I say, the little girl twirling in her dress to show me all the glittering sparkles on the skirt. I look up and down the hall for the stupid lizard always shadowing her and am disappointed to not see him.

“Remus isn’t here,” Naomi explains. “He has to stay in his room until all the other guests arrive. Kings have to be the last at the table,” she says, rolling her eyes and inviting herself in. “So I’m here to take you to breakfast.”

“Thank you. I was just starting to wonder how I was supposed to find my way down,” I say, Naomi laughing as she takes my hand.

She leads me out into the empty hall, chattering away about her dream last night. My mind can hardly focus as we walk down several corridors and extravagant rooms.

“This castle is huge,” I mumble, feeling out of place the more I look around.

“It is,” a voice I recognize calls out from behind us. “But a prison is still a prison, no matter how beautiful it is.”