The Spare Dragon

9. The Outlaw

*TW: Depiction of s****l assault and abuse

**Remus***

A knock at the door startles me, timidly creaking open as Zahra pokes her head in and smiles at me.

I sit back in my chair and shake my head at her as she prances in with her hands behind her back, chuckling innocently at me. It’s been hours since the arrival of the final contestants, and after a series of meetings with the council, the knights, and the servants, I’ve come to the library to find books on werewolves. After this morning’s fiasco, it seems I need to brush up on my werewolf knowledge.

“What in the actual f**k are you doing here?” I ask, unable to help the grin on my face.

“Is that how you greet an old friend?” she laughs, rushing up to me with open arms.

We embrace each other quite easily, and it almost feels as if no time has passed at all since we last saw each other, when in reality, it’s been centuries. We were nothing more than hatchlings when we first met, and I had just turned twenty-five the last time we said goodbye. Zahra had to go on her mandated pilgrimage to the Temple of Ignis, in the name of the God of Fire, while I was eventually exiled to the Earth Realm, so we never got a chance to reunite. All Saikar members must devote twenty years of worship and service to the God of Fire. Upon completion, women must wear headscarves in all public spaces and men must wear a cap upon their head.

Zahra and I grew close due to our similar upbringing, but it’s very strange now to see her dressed so modestly— her long brown hair tucked away beneath a headscarf and her body hidden behind her abaya.

She is the eldest child of the Sultan Jahan of the Saikar Empire, but being a woman meant she could never be sultana as it is against the law in Saikar for a woman to be the head monarch of her empire. Her two younger brothers, the Crown Prince Karim and Prince Nader outrank her.

“It’s good to see you Zahra,” I sigh, squeezing her one last time before pulling away. “But why are you here?”

“Your mother asked me to come.” She smiles as I shake my head in disbelief. “She thought you would be more inclined to participate if you had a friend in the games.”

“And she chose you?” I ask, skeptical that my mother would ever be so thoughtful.

“What, you don’t think we could work out?” she teases. “Do you not remember proposing to me when we were six?”

“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?” I sigh, Zahra shaking her head. “Look, I’m sure we make an excellent team… were it not for the fact that I’m not your type,” I reply, Zahra covering my mouth with her hand.

“You promised you would never speak those words out loud. The walls have ears here, remember?” she snaps, pulling away when I nod. “Besides, if I had to choose any man to be with, you would be my first choice.”

“While I am flattered,” I sigh, noticing the sadness in her eyes, “this is cruel. You deserve to be with someone else, preferably someone without a p***s—”

She pulls off her gloves, revealing burns scars on her hands. “This is what happened the last time I held hands with a person I loved,” she snaps, silencing me. She then pulls up her abaya above her waist, revealing burn scars from her hips to her stomach. I grimace and look away as she growls at me. “And this is what happened when I lay with her.”

There are no words I can say to comfort her, her anguish almost suffocating in the large library.

“Your father did this to you?” I ask as she readjusts her dress.

“No,” she says calmly, putting on her gloves. “The headmaster at the institution my father placed me in did. He put me there after he discovered what I was. No daughter of his would shame the family with such disgusting behavior.”

I swallow the lump forming in my throat. “I didn’t know.”

“No one does. You’re the first person I’ve ever told,” she replies, forcing a smile on her face though her voice reeks of cynicism. “Everyone else thought I was away on pilgrimage, praying away my sins, but my father hoped that a bit of conversion therapy would be enough to fix whatever it was that was wrong with me. And, as far as he knows, it did. I like men now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she replies. “It’s not your fault I’m a sinner.”

“You are not a sinner!” I snap, Zahra looking down at her feet as she tries to compose herself.

“The sultan says I am,” she whispers, biting on her lip to stop it from quivering. “And what the sultan says, is law.”

“Well, you are in Alderon now, and I am its king,” I murmur, closing the space between us and taking her gloved hand in mine. “And I say, you are no sinner.”

“That’s why I agreed to compete,” she breathes. “I want to be your queen… so you can have your harem… while I have mine.”

“Zahra, I can’t—”

“Why not?” she laughs. “Your former queen had one, didn’t she? We can do the same. Think about it... It’s perfect. You’ll have your women, and I’ll have mine— or we can share. I’m not a fan of sharing but I can give it a go if we need to. And when the time comes, I can give you the baby you need to continue your line. Plus, you know we always made the best team. I can help you gain the favor of the courts and Saikar would become an ally to Alderon.”

I know she’s right, but I can’t fathom a life with her now that I’ve met Vanessa.

“I can love you, Remus,” she says, kissing my hand. “I already do. Don’t you remember all the times you told me you would make me your wife?”

“We were children. I didn’t know—”

“But your heart knew it loved me. We’ll just love each other in a different way… but it’s still love, right? We can do this. We can be husband and wife—”

“I care for you… but I can’t.” I shake my head, my throat closing up knowing I’m going to destroy her. “I-I met someone.”

“Well, that’s okay,” she reassures me. “You can love whomever you please. Just make them a harem member and—”

“No, you don’t understand,” I snap, pushing her away. “I can’t make her a concubine… She has to win the game or I’ll lose her forever.”

“She’s a contestant?” Zahra asks, some hope still lingering in her voice. “Okay, ummm... Okay, that’s fine. I can be your concubine. That still works in my favor—”

“No, Zahra. You can’t… I can’t do this with you,” I reply, debating with myself if I should just come clean. “Look, you’ve been honest with me so I’ll be honest with you. I—”

I freeze, getting a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, every cell in my body vibrating with fear.

Something is terribly wrong.

I rush out of the room, Zahra chasing after me as I race down several corridors, unable to shake this feeling of desperation coursing through me. Before I know it, I find myself on the opposite side of the castle, my eyes seeing red when I stumble into an empty hall, Vanessa pinned to the wall, sobbing hysterically as my father spreads her legs.

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***Vanessa***

I know I shouldn’t be walking the halls this late in my condition, but I’m bored and figured there might be paper at the library I could use for drawing until I fall asleep. After several minutes of wandering aimlessly, I find the main entrance to the palace library. As I place my hand on the door, my wolf ears pick up two voices, one belonging to Remus and the other belonging to a woman.

“I can give you the baby you need…” she insists, my heart falling to the pit of my stomach. “We always made the best team. I can help you gain the favor of the courts and Saikar would become an ally to Alderon.”

I stand very still, straining to hear more of the conversation.

“I can love you, Remus,” she says. “I already do. Don’t you remember all the times you told me you would make me your wife?”

A small gasp leaves my lips as her words pierce my heart. Remus replies, but I can’t quite make out what he says, despite hearing her voice loud and clear.

“Your heart knew it loved me… We can do this. We can be husband and wife—”

Having heard enough, I back away from the door, unable to stop the hot tears rolling down my face.

Looking back, I realize I said the same things to Christian when I took him from Natalia, and I understand now, the true magnitude of the pain I caused.

Even more agonizing… is knowing this woman is right.

I can’t offer Remus anything other than my body and my love, which only takes me so far. I gave Christian both of those things as his Luna, and it all came crashing down on me within a few months. I couldn’t keep up with the workload Natalia left behind, and I lacked the leadership skills needed to garner anyone’s favor. I couldn’t even remember the names of the designated pack allies. The only thing I excelled at as Luna was combat training, due to my athletic background, but what good was fighting in a world of poised nobility?

How on earth did I expect to lead an entire kingdom with Remus?

Unable to stand myself any longer, I run away from the library, quickly becoming lost in the maze of halls and elegant rooms. After running up and down several flights of stairs, recognizing nothing, I begin to panic, my heart pounding in my chest.

Calm down, Paloma insists. You just need to breathe. We’ll find our way back.

But I can’t calm down. I just want to crawl into a hole and die.

I race down an unfamiliar corridor lined with knight’s armor. As I round the corner, I run straight into something hard, falling back on my ass. I look up to find an older, yet handsome, man towering over me, his piercing blue eyes reminding me of Remus— except his are much colder and uninviting. I’m immediately aware that I’m only dressed in a nightgown and thin robe, my hair still wet from my bath. He seems annoyed at first to have to deal with me, but as he grabs my hand to help me up, my heat takes over, my entire body tingling with need. He feels the pull instantly and before I know it, I’m pinned up against the wall, unable to fight back, becoming a slave to my body.

I want to scream at him to let me go, but all I do is cry and moan as he slides his tongue along my neck, the tingling intensifying between my legs.

“Why do you feel this amazing?” he whispers as he pulls apart my legs.

Just then, Remus rounds the corner, his eyes narrowing in a seething glare when he sees us.

Oh Goddess, he’s going to hate me. I whimper.

Without hesitation, Remus grabs the man by the throat, slamming him against a door and pounding his fist into his face. I let out a scream as I watch the two men battle against each other, Lachlan and Queen Evelyn rounding the corner and racing towards us. The man tries to fight back, hooking his foot around Remus’ ankle and pushing him up against a shelf, but Remus very easily overpowers him. Tucking his chin to his chest, Remus wraps his arms around the man’s stomach and drops to his knees, knocking him over and climbing on top of him. His fists connect with the man’s face over and over again, before Lachlan finally manages to pull Remus off and drag him away.

“Remus! Stop it!” Lachlan snaps, pressing him up against the opposite wall.

“It’s okay, m’lady,” a woman whispers, crouching on her knees beside me and petting my head. “You’re okay now.”

Overwhelmed by the situation, I flinch away from her, pulling my knees to my chest to comfort myself. Queen Evelyn storms up to the man, helping him to his feet, after which he pushes her away in anger as he wipes away the blood from his face.

“You almost murdered me, you bloody bastard,” the man snarls. “I should have you hanged for crimes against a member of the royal family.”

“You would love that wouldn’t you?” Remus sneers. “Then you’d finally be rid of your mistake.”

“Believe me, if I had my way, you would have been executed alongside your brother,” the man growls. “It was a mistake to step down from the throne only for the two of you to single-handedly disgrace the crown,” he spits through panting breaths.

This man is the former king? Remus’ father? I gasp.

“Keep your w***e tied up in her room, unless you want me to teach her what a real man can do,” he adds.

Lachlan has Remus in a chokehold, preventing him from lunging at his father.

“He’s not worth it,” Lachlan hisses in his ear. “He’s just trying to rile you up so he has a reason to kill you.”

Reluctantly, Remus stops struggling, eyeing his father as he storms away, down the hall, his mother standing sheepishly with her hands clasped together.

“I apologize on behalf of my husband,” she mumbles quietly to me. “He — uh — we don’t know many wolves. I apologize.”

She turns on her heel and steps quickly to catch up with her husband, doing her best to maintain her composure despite her embarrassment. Lachlan finally lets go of Remus, and he crawls his way to me, lifting me up in his arms. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, burying my face in his neck despite the arousal I feel as he holds me.

“Are you alright?” Remus asks, his voice pulling me back from my thoughts.

I refuse to look at him as he opens the door to my room.

“Is she ill?” the woman asks, and I realize she’s following us.

“Can we talk later?” Remus sighs, stepping inside. “I need to take care of her first… make sure she’s alright.”

Is she the woman from the library? I wonder. The better fit queen.

“Don’t bother, I can manage,” I mutter, attempting to push him away only for the dragon to tighten his hold on me.

“I can stay with her,” Lachlan offers, a growl rumbling through Remus’ throat, much to Lachlan’s amusement.

“You may go now,” Remus snaps scornfully. “This doesn’t concern you.”

“I’ll leave if the lady asks me to,” Lachlan challenges. “I’m at her disposal.”

I haven’t the slightest idea what he means by that, but I feel Remus’ eyes gazing at me, begging me to turn Lachlan away. Part of me wants to be left alone, but Paloma reminds me that I should give myself a chance, instead of jumping at the first opportunity to self-sabotage. Though I see no point in prolonging the delusion that I could win the games and be a good queen, I give in to Paloma’s request— for her sake.

“Thank you very much for your help, Lord Lachlan,” I whisper, “but I must speak to the king in private.”

Lachlan’s jaw sets, but he forces a smile, though it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“As you wish,” Lachlan says with a bow, turning on his heel to leave.

Once he disappears, I turn to Remus and demand to be put down, so I can crawl into bed and cry in peace.

“No.”

“Then I’ll scream,” I warn, but it seems Remus has no intention of letting me go.

I open my mouth, sucking in air to shout at the top of my lungs, but he crashes his lips onto mine, silencing me before a sound ever leaves my lips. I struggle against him at first, but give in when he kisses me again, melting into him with such ease that I whimper when he finally pulls away.

“So she’s the one you’re in love with,” the woman says quietly, holding her hands behind her back. “She’s beautiful.”

Remus puts me down on the bed, a worried look in his eyes as I gaze at him and the woman.

“Vanessa, this is Zahra, an old friend of mine,” he says nervously. “She’s also competing in the games.”

“I know,” I say curtly. “I overheard you two speaking in the library.”

Zahra’s face pales while Remus looks confused.

“The door was closed—”

“I am a wolf, Remus,” I retort. “I have better hearing than most. I could hear you through the door.”

“How much did you hear?” Zahra says with mild panic in her voice.

“Enough,” I reply, the woman dropping to her knees to beg.

“I do not know you,” she says, a plea in her voice, “but I’m begging you, please do not tell anyone about what you heard. If my father doesn’t kill me, my brothers certainly will.”

Now it’s my turn to be confused.

Why would her family kill her for loving Remus?

Realizing I have no idea what she’s talking about, Zahra asks again what it is I overheard.

“I heard you declare your love for him,” I reply solemnly, “and then explain why you should be his queen.”

Zahra breathes out a sigh of relief while Remus laughs.

“Zahra doesn’t love me like that,” he chuckles. “At least not in the same way you do.”

“But I heard—”

“You heard a part of a conversation you never meant to hear in the first place,” Remus mumbles, sitting on the edge of my bed to comfort me. “And that is why you shouldn’t eavesdrop.”

“Don’t patronize me,” I sneer, Remus gripping my chin between his fingers and planting a kiss on my lips.

His kiss leaves me dazed as he pulls away, a part of me fearing how easily he can make my heart flutter.

“You are the only woman I desire, and there will never be another. The next time you have doubts, just ask me. I’ll clear it all away.” He turns to Zahra and does something I never expected. “Zahra, I’d like you to meet Vanessa, my mate.”

“I thought we couldn’t tell anyone!” I hiss under my breath.

“We can trust Zahra.” Remus smiles. “Besides, it's in her best interest that she keeps quiet. I know her secrets.”

“Are you threatening me?” she scoffs, though it’s obvious she’s not actually upset.

“Do I need to threaten you?” Remus asks, a bit more serious now.

Zahra crosses her arms over her chest. “No. No you don’t,” she says through a sigh. “But what exactly is the problem with her being your… wolf… mate?”

“It’s a stronger bond than the one that exists between dragon mates, and if she wins, then I cannot have a harem. It would hurt her.”

“And if she loses?” Zahra asks.

Remus explains the deal he made with his council, Zahra eyeing both of us carefully.

“So what happens to the women who lose? We were promised—”

“If Vanessa wins, all the women who participate will still be given a title and land as every harem member would have.”

“I see,” Zahra sighs. “Unfortunately, this doesn’t help my situation. I need to be married so I can be free. Even a concubine contract would have sufficed.”

“I could make you a citizen,” Remus offers but Zahra only shakes her head.

“You don’t understand,” Zahra explains. “I’m not a free citizen. It’s different in Saikar. Women are property, not citizens. I am my father’s property until the day he steps down from the throne or I marry.”

“Is your home truly so awful?” I ask, wondering how such archaic beliefs still existed.

She turns to me and takes a deep breath. “Where I’m from, it is illegal to be what I am, and if I do not learn to conform, I must be put to death.”

“Surely your father wouldn’t dare?” Remus asks in bewilderment.

“Oh he would,” Zahra insists. “He told me as much before I was institutionalized. I either came home fixed or I came home in a body bag. There was no other alternative.”

“And what are you, exactly?” I ask, Zahra’s lips trembling.

“I am a person,” Zahra whimpers. “But it seems I am less than that in my own country because I love a woman, not a man.” She quickly composes herself before she lets her emotions get in the way. “Loved a woman, I should say,” she chuckles half-heartedly. “She chose to marry a man to save herself, and I can’t even blame her.”

Now more than ever, I feel awful for existing, because were it not for me, Remus would have granted Zahra her freedom by marrying her.

“But I will make do,” Zahra says, determination on her face as she straightens out her headscarf and smiles. “I have always figured things out for myself, and I’m not about to stop now,” she sighs.

“What if you don’t have to… make do, I mean?” I blurt out, both she and Remus looking at me as though I grew a second head. “What if… What if you can still become Remus’ concubine if I win?” Remus looks like he’s about to argue, but I raise my hand to silence him so I can finish my thought. “You wouldn’t sleep together, but legally speaking, you would be bound to Remus. He would… own you. And then he could make you a citizen of Alderon and free you… so you can be with a woman you do love.”

“We don’t have to do this,” Remus insists. “We can find another way to help.”

“But why do that when we have a clear path here?” I ask. “And this would be an even trade.”

“How so?” Zahra asks.

“I could use an ally in the games,” I answer. “I know nothing about this place or about being a dragon… But if you help me — if you help me win — I promise you, Remus can protect you by signing a concubine contract with you. I won’t stand in the way of your freedom.”

“You realize you don’t know me, right? You’re not obligated to help me,” Zahra says in disbelief.

“I am aware.” I smile. “But if Remus trusts you enough to let you know what I am to him, then it must mean you are a good friend to him and I see no reason why we can’t be friends too.”

Zahra turns to Remus and though he seems apprehensive, he nods his head in approval. Zahra drops on her knees at my feet and takes my hand, kissing it in gratitude.

“You have no idea what you’ve just done for me,” Zahra whispers. “But believe me when I say, you have my loyalty.”

The clock interrupts us by striking nine; Zahra quickly getting to her feet.

“I must go do my evening prayer,” she says, bowing towards us. “Thank you both for your kindness.”

She excuses herself and rushes out of the room, Remus rising to his feet and turning to look at me.

“Are you angry at me for what I did?” I dare to ask, after a long silence settles between us.

“No,” he says quietly. “I’m more upset at what happened between you and my father.”

“It was an accident, I swear!” I exclaim, hoping he believes me. “He touched my hand and the heat took over. He—”

“I wasn’t accusing you of anything,” Remus reassures me. “But, are you alright?”

“Oh,” I say, waving him off nervously. “I-It’s fine. I’ll get over it.”

“It’s not something you just get over. That was assault. You’re aware of that, right?”

I only shrug, hugging my knees to my chest. I’ve found myself in these types of situations before, and I’m not ready to revisit those feelings right now. He, however, seems determined to stress me out even further, unwilling to drop the subject.

“Remus, it’s been a long day,” I say through a forced smile. “I-I’m fine. Please just... stop.”

He remains where he stands a moment longer but relents when I refuse to give in.

“Fine,” he says, walking over to the desk where the witch left all the ingredients for my special tea. “Then, at least let me make you your tea.”

“I can manage.”

“I’m sure you can,” he murmurs, carefully crushing up the flowers with his fingers and dropping them into two teacups.

He takes the jar of water to the electric kettle in the kitchenette on the far side of the room and returns moments later with the hot moonwater. I watch as he stirs in honey, admiring the features of his face as he carefully carries the cups back to me. He sits beside me, placing the cup in my hands and watches me drink every last drop. When we finish, he takes my hand in his and gives it a squeeze.

“Good luck tomorrow,” he whispers, kissing my palm. “You’re going to be fine.”

“Right,” I nod, though I’m not sure I entirely believe it. “I-I’ll be fine.”

He caresses my cheek, the sparks of our bond tingling across my face.

“Good night,” he murmurs, leaning forward to kiss my forehead. “Sleep well.”

He goes to get up but I pull him back, needing him to stay a little longer.

“Can you stay until I fall asleep?” I ask, caressing the back of his hand with my thumb.

He says nothing, watching as I crawl under the covers and leave space for him at my side. His cheeks turn rosy when I pat the empty space and he reluctantly crawls under the covers with me, turning even more red when I wrap my arms around his waist and cuddle up beside him.

“A-Are you comfortable?” he asks after clearing his throat.

I nod, Remus remaining as stiff as a board beside me. I make the best of the situation and lay my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat rapidly.

Closing my eyes, I finally drift off to sleep.

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I wake to the sound of a knock at the door, my eyes fluttering open to find myself alone in my room, Remus long gone.

The door creaks open, Navaeh, Selah, and Tanya entering quietly.

“Rise and shine, your ladyship,” Navaeh says quietly, Tanya rushing to open the blinds to the room.

I wipe my eyes, and sit up in bed, looking at Navaeh who carries what looks to be black armor in her hands while Selah holds a tray with the jar of hot moonwater for my tea.

“Today’s the big day,” Navaeh says, setting down the armor. “Are you ready?”

I don’t think there will ever be enough time for me to be ready but I nod my head at the maid.

“Then let’s begin.”