Fighting Fate (Runaway Angel book 3)

**Amelia's POV** From the time I was two years old, my future was set in place by the Moon Goddess. She is the deity that the werewolves in the world pray and give thanks to. My mom describes her as a beautiful woman with long white hair, and piercing ice blue eyes. Her skin is flawless and pale, and she is the one who decides who our mates will be. According to the Moon Goddess, my mate is my best friend Roman. I, however, do not approve. I love Roman, but not romantically. I love him like family, like my brother. He has always been there for me, like a second shadow. He is an immensely sweet guy, and obviously good looking, but I never looked at him in any other way other than my best friend. I know he loves me deeply, and he has done nothing to hide how IN love with me he is. But sometimes I get uncomfortable with the way he acts like I am his. Every one, including my own parents, tells me that I can't feel the mate bond because I am not eighteen yet, but when I do feel it, it won't be as strong because I am human. Only when I am turned into a wolf will I feel that Roman is my future.  Do I want to be a wolf though? Do I want to be mated at eighteen? I know my mom made that decision for herself, but I don't know if I want the same life as my mom. Becoming a Luna of a pack, your whole life and world revolves around all these people. You have responsibilities, and have to do everything in everyone else's best interest. How can I decide what is best for everyone else at eighteen? I'll still just be a kid. There are things I want to do, places I want to see. I can't even have much of a social life because Roman is so possessive over me. He gets real protective, more like territorial, whenever a guy approaches me. Whether its a human or another wolf.  Most teens in the pack casually date, just to have fun and feel loved until they find their mate. However, because Roman supposedly found out I was his mate when he was just four years old, I have been branded off limits. The only guys I have been around are Roman, my cousins, and brother. I have no male friends. Roman says he knows their thoughts about me, and they are extremely inappropriate. I love Roman, he is so important to me. I don't see a life without him, but I don't have a life with him either. I am constantly under supervision. If not by my parents, or Roman, then by the pack warriors. They snitch on me every time I try to 'wonder' off the pack grounds. I never have any time for myself. If I want to go into town, someone has to go with me. If I want to just take a walk in the woods, I need an escort. The only time I am alone is in the bathroom and when I go to sleep. There is ALWAYS someone around, and I feel suffocated.  Next week is my fifteenth birthday, and the only thing I want is a day of freedom. A day where I am not constantly being told about what my future holds for me. Why can't I decide my own future? What if I do not want to be a wolf and become the Luna and mate with Roman? Will my family be ashamed of me? Will I have to leave? Truth be told I want to leave. I want to go to college with other humans. I want to find myself, and have experiences. Travel, learn, and meet new and different people. I think the one thing I want more than anything is to not fell like my life is completely planned out for me.  I continue to lay in bed, and sulk. Most days I don't even want to come out of my room, because honestly what's the point? I do the same thing, with the same people every day. My little brother, Brandon, and my little sister Madison, even have more freedom than me. It's kind of sad, in my own family I am still the odd one out. Both my siblings are full blooded wolves, and I am human. They already started their training and I have to wait until I make the change. If. If I make the change.  There is a knock on my door which brings me out of my inner thoughts. "Get up, loser. We're going to be late for school." Brandon yells.  "GO AWAY." I yell back. I love my little brother, but I still envy him for having all of the freedoms he does.  "Fine, I'll just tell mom and dad that you plan to ditch." He calls back. Ugh, he is such a pain in my ass! "I'm up! Sheesh!" I groan.  I get up from my bed and look over to see that Madison is coming out of the bathroom. My little sister and I share a bedroom and bathroom, while Brandon gets his own. Madison was a very beautiful young girl. She is only eleven but she already out shines me in so many ways. She has long curly brown hair like our dad, moms round big eyes and her full lips, and a dimple in her left cheek. We hardly look related, but technically we are only half siblings by blood.  I don't remember much of my real father. Only flashbacks of him hurting my mom. I know I was scared of him, but one day my mom told me he was gone and that Leo wanted to be my dad. I love my dad, he is the best. He doesn't treat me like a step daughter, and he plans on passing the pack over to Roman and I. I wish he would give it to Brandon. I feel like passing the strongest and most known pack in the world to a human who is not even blood related to the Alpha will just cause so much trouble.  "You look like crap." Madison said, breaking me from my worried. "Go shower, you'll feel better." She disappeared into the walk in closet that we shared to dress.  Maddy and I get along better than Brandon and I. I guess cause we're sisters and we grew up playing dress up and tea parties. She is very smart for her age though, and sometimes more mature than me. I envy her for her determination and sure will. When she wants something she works at it to get her way. Not in a bad way, she just works very hard in everything she does. She is also very talented. She paints with our dad, and she is even learning the piano. I tried to learn how to draw at least, and I suck. I tried to learn an instrument, but found that I can't do that either. The only thing I am good at is math, and self wallowing. According to my mother, she was the same way. I just don't believe her. My mother is the fiercest and strongest woman I know. She enters a room and all eyes are on her. I wish I was more courageous and wonderful like her.  I go to take a quick shower. I wash my long sandy brown straight hair and throw it in a bun so I can wash my body. Almost fifteen, and I already got the blessing of having my mom curves. I like my body, but sometimes I hate that guys stare at my body longer than my face. Sometimes I have even caught some of the older wolves looking at me. I didn't tell Roman or my dad though. They would probably do something insane like kill them or banish them. I can't tell Brandon either. Even though we aren't two peas in a pod, he can be just as protective as Roman. Brandon calls me his little sister since he is already taller than me. Not even thirteen year old yet, and he is already five foot eight. I think he is going to pass six foot by the time he is eighteen. I got my height from my mom. All five feet and three inches.  I finish my shower and wrap a towel around me. I head into the closet, and dress quickly in skinny jeans and a black v-neck shirt. I throw on my combat boots, and head downstairs. I don't bother with make up, I don't like feeling like I have stuff on my face. I let my hair air dry since no matter what I do to it, it stays straight.  When I get downstairs I see that everyone has already started to eat breakfast. Roman stands up to pull out my chair but I just shake my head and smile, then head into the kitchen. One thing I don't like is eating in a crowded room. I sit at the island and decide to just munch on an apple.  "Good morning, beautiful." Roman comes in and sets a plate a food in front of me. "You need to eat more than just an apple, love." He smiles.  Why can't I just love Roman? All the girls in our pack swoon at him, but he doesn't have that affect on me. "Morning, Ro." I sigh and poke at my eggs. I haven't had much of an appetite.  Roman plays with my hair, like always. I look at him again, trying to will myself to be attracted to him. If I could feel something for him, then maybe having the life my mom has would not be so bad. I see how much she loves my dad, and he worships the floor she walks on. I want what they have. But do I want it as a wolf or a human? Do I want it with Roman? "Penny for your thoughts, love?" Roman smiles at me again. He really is such a handsome guy. He has brown wavy hair, just a few shades darker than mine. Its long, just covers the tops of his ears and its amazingly soft. His beautiful green eyes are always sparkling when he looks at me. His once fat cheeks now are starting to chisel out from maturing, but I am happy his dimples never left.  I sighed deep and decided to tell him the truth. When we were about ten, we promised we would always be one hundred and thousand percent honest with each other. "I was just thinking how life would be easier if I saw you the way you see me." His smile spread across his face and those dimples made their appearance. "You're really good looking, Roman, so why don't I feel more for you than just friendship?" Roman gave me a hug and kissed the top of my head. Even though I am sitting on a pretty tall bar stool, he still towers over me. "Amelia, love, I know you only see me as a friend. I pray everyday that one day you will wake up and see me like I see you. But I will never make you love me if that isn't how you feel. When you turn eighteen and still do not feel anything for me, then you can reject me. It will hurt, and honestly I think I would leave-" "Why would you leave?" I interrupted. Just because I am not in love with him, do I have to lose my best friend? He chuckled lightly and looked into my eyes. "Because you are my other half. My love, my best friend, and a girl that I could never watch be with someone else. I would leave because I feel like seeing you everyday, but not have you be mine, would kill me slowly and painfully. We are young, Amelia, but I know that I will always want and need you. It hurts that you don't feel that for me, but I can't expect so much from you when you are only fourteen." He kissed the top of my head again, and for once I really hated that I didn't love him back like that.  I wrapped my arms around his waist and inhaled his cologne. "I want to love you like that. I don't know why I don't." He laughed a little and looked at me. "It doesn't help that we grew up completely inseparable. Maybe you felt too much like we were siblings rather than future lovers." I laughed with him. That could be it. But even at just four years old, Roman felt so much for me that he couldn't stay away. He was my first friend and he always did anything I wanted so as a kid, he was always fun to be around.  I did something I have never done before. I prayed to the Moon Goddess that she help me be the woman she thinks I am meant to be.