A Dove's Tale

Chapter 73

I wasn’t ready. The carriage jostled to a stop in front of my house, and I wasn’t ready. To turn my head and look out the window, to step out onto the familiar dirt road, to open that door and walk into that empty room, to accept that Mother was gone, and I didn’t know how to put one foot in front of the other anymore. I stared down at my hands clenched into my skirt, trying to work up the nerve to get out of the carriage and say goodbye, and Prince Chevalier’s arm came around my shoulders. He didn’t speak, but the simple reminder of his presence helped.

I still wasn’t ready.

“Ivy!”

Rachel’s muffled voice came from outside the carriage, along with an insistent knocking at the bottom of the carriage door near the floorboards, and it startled me into turning to look at the door.

“Ivy!” she called again, still knocking.

“Rachel!” Jason scolded, appearing briefly in the window as he grabbed Rachel and pulled her away. “Don’t do that!”

“But Mommy said-”

I smiled involuntarily and shook my head. “My neighbors’ children,” I explained to Prince Chevalier as the two argued back and forth outside.

“They sound excited to see you,” he said, reaching over to open the door. Rachel must have just escaped from Jason, because she was suddenly climbing into the carriage.

“Ivy!” she exclaimed happily, ignoring Prince Chevalier completely as she scrambled out of Jason’s reach and onto the seat.

“Rachel!” Jason cried, his hand slamming down on the carriage floor just behind her. He sighed irritably and looked up at me, and then he blushed, his eyes widening as he lurched back, following the arm around my shoulders back to Prince Chevalier. I opened my mouth to make introductions, but Rachel climbed onto my lap and hugged me around the neck before I got a word out.

“Mommy said you’re really sad, and we need to cheer you up,” Rachel said very seriously. She sat back on my lap and fingered the ruffled collar of my dress. “This is pretty.”

“Thank you,” I said, smoothing her mussed brown curls. “Prince Chevalier gave it to me,” I added, shyly glancing over at his amused blue eyes. Rachel looked at him for the first time, screwing her face up as she studied him thoughtfully.

“I like the other one better,” she pronounced with finality.

Jason groaned and clapped his hands over his face. “Rachel…”

“I didn’t say I don’t like him,” she defended herself, frowning at her mortified brother. “I just like my Prince Charming better.” She turned to me with a bright smile, satisfied that she’d settled the matter and now bouncing with excitement. “I got you flowers. Wanna come see?”

She was so adorable. There was really only one response.

“I’d love to.”

She hopped down to the floor and took my hand, tugging me after her out of the carriage and onto the road. My smile faltered when I saw the door. I stopped, despite Rachel’s persistent pull.

“Come on, they’re inside,” she urged.

“Rachel, not now,” Jason said, taking her arm and pulling her back. “I’m really sorry, Ivetta.”

I nodded, rolling my lips inwards and biting them as I swallowed the all too familiar lump in my throat. Prince Chevalier’s arm was around my shoulders again. I took a shaky breath and looked down at Rachel’s wide eyes, doing my best to smile at her.

“Could you give us a few minutes?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jason said, speaking for both of them. “Rachel, we should tell Mom that Ivetta’s back.”

Rachel nodded. “I’m sorry, Ivy.”

I nodded again, not trusting myself to speak. They left us alone on the road. Prince Chevalier gave my shoulders a light squeeze and reached over to brush my cheek with his knuckles.

“Ready?”

No, but we couldn’t keep standing in the road, and I had to face this. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and nodded. He opened the door, and I pulled away to go inside first.

Mrs. Stotts had tidied up for me. The pills were gone from the neatly swept dirt floor, and a vase of wildflowers in the center of the table echoed the bright floral blanket covering the little bed. I hugged myself, feeling the loss all over again, and then the comforting presence of Prince Chevalier came around me, his arms encircling me from behind as he stepped closer, holding me flush against him, his chin resting on my shoulder.

“You’ve lived here all your life,” he said, a hint of disapproval in his voice.

I nodded, smiling even through the tears that blurred my vision. “I knew you’d hate it.”

“You deserve better,” he murmured, kissing my wet cheek. The light brush of his lips against my skin woke the butterflies in my stomach, but they couldn’t get past the tightness in my chest.

“When am I going to stop crying?” I muttered, wiping my face.

“When you’re ready.”

“And when will that be?” I asked, turning my head to look at him, his blue eyes so close to mine. He brushed a few more tears away with his knuckles and cupped my cheek in his hand.

“I don’t know, little dove. You have always been frustratingly difficult to predict with any reliability.”

Being with him like this made the tightness loosen a little, made the heaviness just a tiny bit lighter.

“Is that why you like me? Because I pose an interesting challenge for you?” I asked, smiling again through the tears.

He smiled. “Among other reasons.”

His kiss made the butterflies in my stomach flutter about for a few seconds, long enough to make me think I wouldn’t be stuck in this pit of despair forever, if only because he wouldn’t let me stay there. I turned fully toward him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my cheek on his chest. This already felt so comfortable, his arm snug around my waist, his fingers running through my hair. Mother would have been so happy to see us together like this.

And, someday, maybe I could think about her without feeling a sharp pain in my heart.

“Prince Chevalier?” I asked hesitantly. “Would you mind…letting me stay here? Just for tonight?”

His silence told me what he thought, but he didn’t immediately dismiss my request. I swallowed and tried to explain, even though I didn’t fully understand, either.

“So I can say goodbye.”

He sighed and squeezed me tighter. “I don’t like the idea of leaving you here alone.”

“I won’t be alone. The Stotts are right next door, and you can post the guards again if you’re worried.”

His fingers combed through my hair, and I held my breath, waiting for his answer.

“You want this.”

I nodded. “I think it will help.”

He sighed again. “Fine. The funeral is in the morning. I’ll pick you up after that, unless you change your mind and want to return sooner, in which case you can send word through the guards for a carriage. I’ve already arranged a room in the servants’ quarters for you.”

He really had handled everything. The funeral hadn’t crossed my mind, and I hadn’t thought about where I’d be staying in the palace, either. Empty rooms didn’t just appear, especially in the servants’ quarters.

“Thank you, Prince Chevalier. I…there’s something…Mother made me promise to give this to you, after she…”

I couldn’t say it. I pulled away from him to find the journal, lying in its place on the storage trunk at the foot of the bed. Its worn, faded leather binding was as soft and familiar as the elegant script that filled the pages with words in a language I couldn’t read. I turned back to him and held it out, swallowing the lump again so I could explain.

“It was my father’s. I don’t know what it says, or why…why she wanted you to have it.”

He took it from me, studying it for a moment with his usual inscrutable expression, and then his eyes flicked back to me.

“You want me to leave now.”

I nodded hesitantly. “I just…want to be alone for a while. Before Rachel starts pounding on the door again,” I added with a soft laugh.

He smiled and stepped forward, tilting my chin up with the journal. “Then I’d better go. Until the guards arrive, I want you to stay inside or with your neighbors. Do you understand?”

He usually said that phrase with cold authority. To hear those familiar words now, spoken softly while his breath tickled my lips, made the butterflies dance in my stomach.

“I understand. And…thank you again. For everything.”

He slipped an arm around my waist and lowered the book. “Is that all?”

I shook my head slightly, unable to look away from the intensity in his eyes. “There’s…one other thing.”

I bit my lip, suddenly nervous to say the words he wanted to hear, words I hadn’t ever wanted to say aloud for fear of the consequences. But I wasn’t afraid of the consequences anymore, and it was only fair that I tell him, since he already told me.

Since the words were burning to get out.

“I love you, Prince Chevalier.”

His kiss was sweet, so sweet, mingling with the saltiness of my tears, but there was frustration in his sigh when he pulled back. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to leave or kiss me again. His fingers dug into my waist, and then they were gone, and his cloak billowed behind him as he turned toward the door.

“Tomorrow, then.”

I nodded, even though his back was to me, and he left. My fingers touched my lips as I sank down onto the bed. Tomorrow, he’d come back for me, and I’d move into the palace, and this house, this life, would just be relegated to my memories. And I was okay with that. It would be hard, and I didn’t know what to expect going forward, but it would be okay.

It was time to say goodbye.

There wasn’t much for me to pack. Mother’s Bible, Midnight Cinderella, some clothes, and I was done, except for the blanket. I’d pack that in the morning, something to keep close to remind me of Mother. There was no jewelry, nothing of value. Mother pawned what little she had over the years. I couldn’t even remember what her wedding ring looked like, although I remembered the day she sold it. The way she smiled through her tears and said something about food being more important than sentiment.

The Stotts could have the food left in the pantry.

Rachel returned when I finished, as I expected, bursting through the door with her mother in tow. The rest of the day was a blur of laughter and tears, hugs and picking flowers by the river, sitting down at a table full of food and rowdy children. Mrs. Stotts was as teary as I was, and she made her offer again for me to spend the night at her house. I politely declined, and she accepted that. Rachel was not so easily appeased. She wasn’t happy about me moving away, and she wanted to stay with me for the night. I left while she was still pouting, promising to come over for breakfast in the morning.

And then I was alone in the empty house again. The guards were outside the door, I’d changed into my nightgown and folded my new dress on the storage trunk next to the plain brown bag that held the few belongings I was taking to the palace, and I was snuggling under the blanket that smelled of medicine, imagining arms around me that smelled like roses.