A Dove's Tale

Chapter 20

I tried to work in the library as if nothing had happened, but I couldn’t focus. The silence was suffocating, amplifying every sound. The creak of the floorboards was Jack sneaking up on me; a leaf blown into a window was him tapping at the panes; the rustle of a page was him grabbing at my dress. I kept freezing up, my heart pounding wildly as I looked around for any sign of him. This was hopeless. I couldn’t even dust a shelf properly. But what else was I supposed to do? Go home? Risk running into him again? Keep lying to Mother, try not to fall apart in front of her? Find Prince Chevalier? Tell him - what? That I couldn’t function, that I could barely breathe? What was he supposed to do? What was anybody supposed to do?

What was I supposed to do?

I hated this. I hated all of this.

Noon finally came, and I sat in the alcove, picking up my book out of habit, though there was no point in trying to read. I hadn’t even gone to the kitchens on the pretense of grabbing a quick lunch. There was no way I could eat. I hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday, and the emptiness of my stomach was nothing compared to the cold emptiness in my chest.

Everything was cold and empty. Even the gardens outside the window. It was a beautiful day, but I couldn’t feel the warmth of the sunshine. The roses were as vibrant as ever, a constant source of quiet elegance, but their colors were painfully bright. I couldn’t see their thorns from this distance, but I could all too easily imagine them raking across my skin. I sighed and looked back at the book, closing it and hugging it tightly to my chest. Then I noticed black boots and a white cloak out of the corner of my eye. I looked up, surprised to see Prince Chevalier standing next to me. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest, staring down at me with those cold blue eyes. There was no telling what he was thinking, or how long he’d been standing there. I didn’t know what to say.

“He’s been arrested.”

His voice was as impassive as his face.

“Oh.”

That was good news. I should feel better, then. Why didn’t I feel better? I looked back down at my lap, biting my lip. Prince Chevalier still hadn’t moved. What did he want from me?

“My office,” he finally said. “Bring that if you like.”

He spun on his heel and headed for the door. I rose and followed him, still hugging the book to my chest, still looking down at the floor. There was about a half hour left of my lunch break. Would this day never end?

At least his office was empty. I didn’t think I could handle any of his brothers right now. He directed me to a chair in the corner, and then he went to his desk and started going through a stack of paperwork piled neatly to one side. I opened the book and tried to read, unsuccessfully. The soft rustle of paper and the scratch of a quill were the only sounds to be heard. The silence was deafening. Slowly, the hands of the clock made their rounds, and finally it was one o’clock. I stood up to leave, and although he glanced up at me, he said nothing. I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway - just as Jack emerged from Prince Leon’s office next door.

“There you are, you trumped-up, no good little tart!” Jack spat angrily, his eyes blazing as he struggled against his bonds and the guards holding him back.

I froze in shock and terror, unable to breathe, let alone move. The book fell from my hands.

“You’re nothing but the daughter of a w***e, and you’ll never amount to anything but a w***e yourself!”

Prince Chevalier was suddenly at my side, pulling me back and stepping in front of me as he drew his sword. Metal clashed against metal as Prince Leon appeared in front of him, blocking Prince Chevalier’s sword from hitting Jack. Prince Licht was in the doorway behind Prince Leon.

“Chevalier! Not now! She’s scared to death as it is, and we’re not done questioning him!” Prince Leon snapped. Then, to the guards, “Get him out of here!”

I was shaking, my heart pounding in my ears, my stomach churning. I needed to run, get away, but I couldn’t feel my legs. Jack was still spewing insults and curses. Every word was a knife to the heart. It felt like a large hand was squeezing the air out of my lungs.

“Shut up,” Prince Licht said in a voice as hard as stone, drawing his sword and flipping it around to smash the hilt into the back of Jack’s head. He fell silent, his head dropping to his chest.

The hallway was spinning and tilting.

Prince Chevalier sheathed his sword and turned to face me. His angry, frigid blue eyes met mine for just a moment, and then he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to his side. His cloak wrapped around me, shielding me from the ugly scene as he steered me back into his office. As soon as the door shut behind us, he pulled me into an embrace. I closed my eyes and buried my face in his chest, too frightened to cry, let alone resist.

“Forget everything he said to you. He is a fool, and his words are meaningless. Do you understand?”

I nodded wordlessly, though I could barely hear Prince Chevalier over Jack’s voice echoing in my mind. My breath came in spurts, accompanied by an occasional whimper. Even with my eyes closed, I saw Jack’s livid, bloodshot eyes. Last night replayed again, vivid and horrifying, the feel of his rough hand on my thigh, the pain shooting through me when he slammed me into the door, the rush of cold air on my skin when he tore my dress open, the moans and the creaking of the bed next door. I was going to be sick again. The trembling was getting worse. Prince Chevalier’s arms tightened around me, but I found the strength to shove him away, darting to the wastebasket just in time before the dry heaving started. The retching just made my empty stomach hurt more. I wished it would stop. I wished everything would just stop. The pain was never ending. I sat back on my heels, wiping my mouth shakily with my apron. The images flashed through my mind again and again, threatening to choke the life out of me, blending with my previous encounters with Jack, the leering gazes of the men in the brothel on the way to his office, the whistles and catcalls and shouted offers. I squeezed my eyes shut and hugged myself tightly. The times I was home alone while Mother was away working, and he had shown up at the door, trapping me inside. I couldn’t breathe.

“Ivetta. Ivetta!”

The voice broke through the mess in my head, but I didn’t recognize it, and the hand on my shoulder could only be Jack’s. I jerked violently away and scrambled to my feet, bolting for the door. His hands caught me and spun me back into his firm, unyielding chest, pinned there by his muscular arms, and suddenly, I was fighting for my life.

“Let me go!” I choked, pounding at him, my panic rising as his grip tightened, unable to break free.

“Stop.”

Prince Chevalier’s sharp command cut through the chaos in my mind, and Jack’s suffocating grasp vanished as Prince Chevalier’s tight embrace stilled me. I clutched desperately at his shirt as a flood of sudden relief brought with it a flood of tears.

“Black, get out. Nobody comes in here.”

There was a pause before Prince Leon responded.

“Sure. I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

The door opened and closed. Prince Chevalier scooped me up, and I clung to him for dear life, terrified that he might let me go and leave me alone with my fear. He sat down, embracing me tightly on his lap as I buried my face in his neck.

“You’re safe,” he said quietly. “He won’t hurt you again.”

I shook my head. “He’s been arrested before,” I managed to say.

“He’s not getting out this time. Not anymore.”

I wanted to believe Prince Chevalier’s reassurances, but I knew better. This had been going on far too long for me to think it would stop now.

“I was…thirteen…the first time he…” I stammered, choking before I could finish. My fingers clutched desperately at Prince Chevalier’s shirt, and I shook my head again. “He always comes back.”

Prince Chevalier’s arms tightened around me further. “Never again,” he said, his voice a low threat. “I’ll kill him before I allow him to touch you again.”

He meant it. I knew he meant it. I never thought I’d want to find comfort in a death threat, but that comfort was still out of reach. The guilt and shame that filled me to overflowing would allow me no reprieve.

“This shouldn’t have happened,” I sobbed. “If I’d been paying attention-”

“You did nothing wrong,” Prince Chevalier interrupted. “There is no reason for you to feel ashamed.”

There was nothing tender or gentle in his voice, but those were the kindest words anybody could have said to me at that moment. It felt like he’d lifted a weight off of my chest. Suddenly, I could breathe again.

“Thank you, Prince Chevalier,” I whispered.

He didn’t reply, and he didn’t have to. His arms around me were more than sufficient. I felt like a child, curled up on his lap crying, but I also felt a sense of security that I hadn’t ever felt before. I was safe. Here, in his arms, I was safe. And it was okay for me to cry. So I did until my tears ran dry. Only then did I pull back, and only then did his arms loosen around me. I wiped my face on my apron, numb from crying. His fingers caught my chin and gently tilted it up to face him. Though his blue eyes were still angry, they softened slightly as he looked at me.

“I need to have a word with Black,” he said quietly. “Will you be okay here for a moment?”

I nodded, and he let me go. But when I stood, my legs threatened to give out, and he was on his feet in an instant, catching me again.

“S-sorry,” I said softly.

“It’s alright,” he murmured, holding my arms gently but firmly. “I can stay.”

I shook my head. “No, I’ll be fine.”

He scooped me up again and deposited me in his chair, brushing a stray hair back behind my ear. His blue eyes were so close and so strangely warm.

“Are you sure?”

Suddenly, I wasn’t sure at all. I felt cold and small and alone without his arms around me, and the thought of him leaving, even for a few minutes, was terrifying.

“You…you won’t be far?” I asked in a small voice.

“No,” he said, his finger lightly brushing a tear from my cheek. “And I’ll be right back.”

I saw the truth in his crystal blue eyes, that he didn’t want to leave me either, and I nodded, knowing he wouldn’t stay away any longer than he had to. He left, and I looked down at my lap, my cheek tingling where his finger touched it.

“Here,” I heard Prince Leon’s voice when the door opened. “How’s she doing?”

Prince Chevalier said nothing, but he returned to me with the fallen book.

“Thank you, Prince Chevalier,” I said quietly, taking it from him.

He left again, and this time the door closed behind him. I smoothed the pages carefully. My hands were still shaky, but I felt a little better, though I was exhausted. Too exhausted to read. I wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed, to wake up and find that this had all just been a horrible nightmare. A horrible nightmare interrupted by the surprising twist of a beast turning into a knight in shining armor.