Finding Solace

Chapter 10

Jillian

After a seemingly endless argument, I finally managed to get rid of Josh. He wanted to come inside the house with me but I wouldn't have that. I still couldn't bring myself to trust him even though he has proven me time and again that he genuinely cared about me now. Even this time, he was in the right. I knew from the start that getting close to Callum was a bad idea, but the deed was done now. There was nothing I could do to change it. So, I might as well go with the flow and worry about the consequences when and if they occur. Besides, I enjoyed being with Callum. Even since before, I was quite intrigued by him, constantly sneaking the occasional glances when I knew he wasn't looking. He had this charm that attracted all those around him. Seems like I also fell victim to this.

As I was nearing the end of the driveway, my heart lurched with dread. My father's car was parked there. He's not usually back this early. Heart in my throat, I dashed to the house, praying that he'd somehow be in a lighter mood today.

"Where the heck have you been?" My father snarled as soon as I opened the front door.

My heart sank when I took in his appearance. Not only was he seething, there was a half-empty vodka bottle in his hand. A 'worst case scenario' for me. Benjamin Brown. His usually handsome and neat appearance was completely disheveled now. I bet all the people who looked up to him and the women who drooled over his looks would have one hell of a shock if they saw him right now. This was his true self. An abusive alcoholic.

I shuffled on my feet uncomfortably, not daring to enter the house and let him have full access to me. "I was taken up with some tasks at school. I'm sorry for being late." I replied in a low voice. My heart thrummed with dread, knowing it was only a matter of time before he started hitting me.

"Tasks, huh." He spat. "You were probably just out there getting yourself laid. Like your mother was doing when she was you age." I lowered my eyes to the ground, not responding to his taunts, knowing he would grow more incensed regardless of my answer.

"Answer me!" He barked, making me flinch.

"I'm sorry." I choked out. I glanced at the driveway behind, weighing my chances if I made a run for it now. There's still the unlikely chance that I might escape him for today. However, if he manages to catch me, which happens most of the time, it will mean a more serious beating for me. Besides, if he cannot have at me, he will vent his anger out on my mother. My heart squeezed painfully at the thought.

Suddenly, he got up from his divan and lumbered towards me. My instinct made the decision for me and I made a mad dash down the driveway. If I could somehow reach the gate, I could save myself. He wouldn't dare follow me to the streets. Heart in my throat, I ran as fast as my legs will carry me, but I soon felt a tug on my hair and I'm sent crashing backwards, landing on my back heavily. Still stunned, I opened my eyes just in time to see his foot coming towards my face. I was able to turn around just in time to evade his kick but this cost me a heavy blow on the back of my head. I reach my hand up by reflex to ease the pain. A big mistake. He kicked my wrist viciously, making me screech at the excruciating pain. My eyes watered when he kept landing blows on me. I curled myself into a ball, and took his hits, praying that he'd get bored soon. Just then, I heard the sound of a bike approaching, followed by the front gate opening. My father didn't stop his assault on me, even when I saw Dan's bike come into view. He quickly dismounted and charged towards my attacker.

"Let go of her, you bastard!" He yelled while raising his fist, aiming for my father's face.

However, the latter swiftly evaded the attack. Dan kept charging at him while maneuvering him away from me. I painstakingly pulled myself into a sitting position and watched with trepidation as both guys went for each other's throats. Sadly, it was mostly my father landing vicious blows. Dan didn't seem discouraged, though, and was trying his best to gain the upper hand. I felt tears run down my cheeks at the sight of my brother getting beaten this badly. I desperately wanted to help him but I knew that I would only be a hindrance if I tried to interfere.

"Get away from here!" He shouted at me.

I forced myself onto my feet, but hesitated. I was out of my mind with worry and didn't want to leave him alone.

"Leave! Now!" He yelled again. I bit my lip in frustration but begrudgingly forced my beaten body to run away from the horrible scene. There was nothing I could do to help him and I knew if I stuck around, I would only end up getting in his way. My tears were unstoppable, even when I pushed the door to my room closed and crashed onto my bed. I buried my head against the pillow and sobbed. Once again, my brother was taking one hell of a beating in my stead. He's always trying his best to protect me in this way, but it makes me feel so bad. I did not like seeing him get hurt. Why did everything have to be so unfair? We did not deserve all this. We should have been a happy family. And it would have been this way if it wasn't for that guy. It was all his fault. My father's violence and even my mother's state. He ruined everything that we could have had. I hated him so much for this.

My thoughts then turned to Callum and immediately, my chest felt lighter. Callum with his sweet voice an even sweeter manners. His caring attitude and the way he made me feel so important. My heart stirred and I felt like he was here with me, comforting me. I could even smell his intoxicating scent. That's when I realized that I was still wearing his jacket. I removed it in a panic and quickly hid it beneath my bed. Thank god my father or Dan didn't notice me wearing it. I must make sure to return it as soon as possible.

I finally took stock of the damage to my body. Moving my wrist sent pain shooting up my arms, but at least I could still move it. I took off my shirt and went to stand in front of the mirror. At least my face was spared this time. However, my back was a real mess. I was gonna have a hard time moving around tomorrow. My body tensed when I heard someone approaching my room from the hallway. I quickly pulled my shirt back on just as Dan entered the room.

I sighed in relief. "Gosh, you gave me such a fright." I chided him. "at least warn me before entering!"

He stood by the doorway, a bruised mess, his breathing heavy. At least his wounds didn't look very serious.

"How are you?" he demanded, his voice pained.

"Still good." I reassured him. "You came just in time... thanks for that."

His hands were pulled into tight fists and I knew he was barely reigning in his temper. He always got like this after a fight, especially after an encounter with our father. Like a ticking bomb just waiting to go off. 

"I swear I'm fine." I emphasized, trying my best to look genuine. I knew he wouldn't insist on checking on my wounds. His conscience wouldn't be able to deal with the guilt.

"What about you?" I asked in concern, eyeing him over once again. "Did he hurt you a lot? I can take a look..." 

"There's no need to." He cut me off. "It's nothing serious." He didn't look as unscathed as he was pretending to be but I knew there was no arguing with him. If he wasn't willing to let me check on him, no amount of pleadings would get him to bend. I bit my lip in frustration but this caused Dan's gaze to darken.

"Don't do that!" He snapped.

I swiftly ceased my gnawing, a bad habit of mine which always seemed to set him off.

"What happened with father?" I asked.

"I knocked him out." He said simply.

I gasped, my concern skyrocketing. "How?" I asked in an almost desperate tone. "Is he okay?"

"Who gives a damn." he grumbled. "That old fart can just die for all I care."

"Don't say that!" I chided. "No matter what, he is still our father."

He scoffed. "He lost all rights to that title when he started using us as sandbags. When will you understand that he never gave a f**k about any of us?"

"That's not true!" I argued. "I'm sure that deep down he cares for us. If it weren't for that person, I'm sure he wouldn't have acted this way."

"Don't f*****g mention that other bastard!" He practically  yelled. His body seemed so taut with tension, it was a wonder his muscles hadn't already snapped from all the pressure. "He's not even worth the time of our day." He added in an ominous tone, his eyes ablaze.

I gulped nervously, feeling guilty for bringing up that sensitive subject. Talks about that other man always causes Dan to go off like a fuse, so I try to steer clear of it as much as possible. 

He inhaled deeply, seeming to make an effort to calm himself. "Anyway, you're disillusioned about father." he eventually said. "Oh well, if this is what helps you deal with this situation better, there's not much I can say."

"Where is father now?" I asked cautiously.

"I dragged him to his divan. Let him believe he passed out from being drunk."

I nodded my head, feeling relieved.

He darted his gaze behind him, towards the door, before turning back to look at me. "I need to go out for a bit..." he shifted on his feet uncomfortably, seeming reluctant to leave me to my own devices.

"I'll be fine, don't worry. You yourself said father's out cold, didn't you? I don't think he will be up before tomorrow. You can leave."

 He still seemed hesitant but eventually walked out of the room. He's probably going to blow off some steam. Maybe with a girl or by fighting. This is what he always did whenever he was in a bad mood.  

Once I was alone, my thoughts once again turned to Callum and again I felt this pleasant twinge in my heart. But then an image of him flirting with Mrs. Fowler popped into my head and I felt the sting of jealousy all over again. I then shook my head self-consciously. I had no right to feel this way. Callum and I were just friends. I had no intention of going any further than this with him.

After some time, I dragged myself downstairs and checked on my father. He was out cold but thankfully, he didn't appear too injured. It must have been by a mere streak of luck that Dan managed to knock him out. I pulled a blanket over his inert form and went to check on my mother.

Once I was done with all those tasks, I could finally have some time to myself. I hastily retrieved my bag which I had discarded in a bush when I was running from father earlier. I wanted to talk to Callum. Despite my promise to call him as soon as I reached home, it was quite late now, and this made me hesitant. A quick check on my phone revealed, much to my shock, over 30 missed calls, most of them from Callum. I quickly dialed his number, worried that something might have happened.

A smile remained pasted on my face throughout my call and even after I had hung up. I retrieved Callum's jacket from under my bed and wrapped it around myself. That night I had a rare night of fitful sleep, my nightmares being replaced by wonderful dreams of Callum.