72. Flashback
1026 Words
Tre wakes me up in the morning by rubbing my back. I snuggle into him and enjoy his warmth. He flips us over and starts kissing me. Why these boys like it so much before I wake up, I will never know.
He turns me on and then starts making love to me. He feels good like always. But every time I really start to enjoy it, I remember being beat. He tries talking me through it, but I end up getting too stressed. I start crying.
He stops and lays on his back. He pulls me on top of him and lets me cry.
"I'm so sorry Tre."
"Don't be sorry baby. It will be alright."
We don't say much. We take a bath together. It seems like he tries not to touch me in the bath. That makes me feel even worse.
I throw on a human dress and some flat shoes. Then I comb my hair.
We get over to the morning room. Tye, Kane, Dipak, and Johen are all in it.
Kane gives me a double take. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." I sit on the stool and Tre dries my hair.
Kane brings me some food and asks Tre, "What happened?"
Tre shakes his head.
I stare at my plate while Tre finishes my hair.
Tye drops a spoon to get my attention. "Johen lived."
I smile at Johen. "Good job on living sir. Did the guards try to watch you sleep?"
"No, they stayed in the other part of the place. These are nice places you have. It's a big area for 1 night."
Dipak nods at him. "She put in some ideas to redo the area. Make some guest rooms and things. All we've done before now is put people in apartments for a night or 2."
Kane laughs. "Every time we put someone in one of the apartments, they don't leave. Look at me and Tye."
Tye smiles. "Yea, I didn't leave. I don't suggest you do that, being human and all. Nearly every person here is a vampire. It will most certainly end in your death."
Dipak shakes his head. "Yea, I'm not keeping the guards on you forever."
Then they all start talking about vampires. I zone out and eat my food. I wonder what it means that I can't have s*x. No boy will want me. I'm broken.
I get pulled off the stool. "Time for meeting woman." Tye goes to throw me over his shoulder.
Tre yells, "DON'T. She just ate. She will get sick on you."
"You can walk." I laugh.
We get up to the office and everyone else is already in it. Omar puts his eyebrows up at me. Great, I'm already on his radar.
We sit down and Thora leans in. "Are you alright?"
I glance at her and feel the tears starting to come up again. She stands up and puts her arms around me. "It will be alright." I start sobbing.
She pulls me up and leads me out of the room. We go over to the sitting room and sit on a couch. Omar comes in after a couple of minutes.
"What happened?"
I shake my head.
"Something happened."
"I don't want to talk about it." I don't want to tell them how f****d up I am. I can't even have s*x with my mate. He'll leave me eventually. I'll be all alone forever. No one will ever want me.
I hear Omar. "She's starting to panic."
Thora pulls my head up. "Did you try to have s*x again, and you still can't?"
"He's going to find someone else. He can't live like this."
Omar looks at Thora. "Go get Tre."
Omar kneels down in front of me. "You will get through this. It didn't happen that long ago, Nadine. You will be ok. Panicking is not going to help. I'm going to see where the hell Tre is."
The 2 of them come in after a couple of minutes. "No, she never said anything, she attacked Dipak and tried to poke his eyes out and rip his head off."
Omar nods. "I'll deal with that next."
Tre sits down beside me and holds my hand. I lean into his shoulder and start sobbing again. He pulls me into his lap and holds me. "I'm so sorry Tre."
"Don't be sorry baby. It still all just happened. I told you, I will wait."
"I'll never be able to have s*x again ever. You'll find someone else. No one will ever want me. You can't live like this. It's not fair to you. I can't help it at all. I'm going to be alone forever..."
He gives me the deepest kiss. He's so gentle. "Sorry baby, but you weren't going to stop. And you are panicking. I'm not going to find someone else. I don't want anyone else." I start nodding. "Stop baby. We will get through this together. I love you. It will take some time. That's all."
Omar sits down. "What is happening? You start to have s*x, and then you panic?"
"I remember how much it hurt. And how he pretended to want me so he could hurt me."
"This is a flashback. I can help you work through these. It takes time. It's a lot of trauma to process. Have you been able to at all since then?"
Tre rubs my back. "Yes. This morning was to much though. She started crying. I didn't want to push her or try to pull her back from that. It's not a big deal to stop."
"Yes it is."
"No, it's not baby. Relax. It's just s*x. I'm not with you for s*x. I'm with you because I'm in love with you. The s*x is amazing, but it's you I'm in love with. As long as I have you, I'm ok. Anything else we can work through."
I give him the biggest hug. "I love you Tre."
"I love you baby." He wipes the tears off my face. "It'll get easier babygirl. We can take our time. We're not in any rush."
"I feel better. Thank you."
- Writer
