Becoming Chaos

V - Circling Full Part 2

A blazing golden light beamed from behind me, illuminating the otherwise sullen void.

I looked over my shoulders and saw Michael, golden feather in hand. The light that came from it burned so strong that it pushed the darkness away.

The North Brother was lit as if it was daylight. The trees that stood out like eerie spires looked as though they were alive, their thin branches clawing at the sky. Under the light, I saw the island’s surroundings better. Tall grasses and thick gatherings of bushes were scattered across the expanse of the island. Everywhere I turned my eyes was overgrowth. Green vines snaked and snared rock formations and discarded construction materials. I took quick glances further into the horizon. Aside from the white cubed structure in front of me, there were more abandoned buildings. There was a bricked building that had four levels, its dilapidated facade covered in moss and crawling vines. Further to my left was another bricked building that had a broken roof. The doors of the structure were torn from the hinges, allowing anyone to see the shadows lurking within. A faded and crooked signage was nailed askew across its beam. Riverside Hospital, it said.

The North Brother Island used to be a quarantine hospital zone for then incurable diseases: tuberculosis, typhoid, small pox and measles. Famous people were jailed under hospital arrest here, too. The state tried to turn the place into a drug rehab facility but failed spectacularly due to the diseases that infested the island. A smile curved my lips as I realized I still remembered my history lessons. A cold shiver crept all over my body as I turned around to face Michael.

For some strange reason, I could feel a wave of calmness emanate from the feather, like a dull melody lulling me to sleep. I recalled experiencing the same calming sensation from the feather when Michael first used it inside my apartment. Back then, it felt euphoric. Now it felt intrusive. I bared my teeth at him, a low growl came from my throat. “Take that blasted feather away from me!” I shouted.

“Not a chance, tiger,” he replied. “This Firebird feather induces a sense of peace. Which, I figured, you need most right now,” Michael said. He lifted the feather higher and its blaze intensified. “It may not be able to stop your turning, but at least I hope it would lessen your mindless rage.”

His voice sounded like claws on a chalkboard. I wanted him to stop talking as I did not want to listen to any more of his crap. Shut up already!

The muscles at the back of my legs tore as I sprung at him. My fingers were splayed, reaching for Michael’s hand that held the feather. He caught both of my wrists with his spare hand. I growled at him, baring all my teeth. What am I doing?

I thrashed my body as his grip held my arms in place. He refused to move. I tried to yank my hands off from his to no avail. Spittle flew in all directions from my mouth as I snarled at him.

“Don’t make me hurt you, K,” said Michael.

I scoffed. “I’ll be glad to see you try,” I said. Where are these words coming from? I tried to shoulder him, but his hold on me was strong. Looking down, I saw an opening in his stance. I smiled like a psychopath and sent a knee to his crotch with full force.

“Son of a b***h!” Michael exclaimed. His grips of steel loosened and I was free. I snatched the feather from his hand, its light dying, and threw it far from where I stood. He bent down and folded in on himself, his hands on his crotch. “What the hell, K?”

With the light finally gone, I felt the rage rise to the surface. I was breathing so hard that it hurt. The air that I inhaled felt like fire flowing through my windpipes. I felt as though my lungs were going to explode any second. My vision was still tainted with red and everything around me looked like it was covered in blood. A loud ringing persisted in my ears as my blood simmered like soup left in the flames for too long. Already, strength gathered in my muscles.Power coursed through my veins. I smiled, showing all my teeth. “Not so strong, huh, Riverwoods?”

“That’s cheating,” he said as he stood up, his face clear of any expressions of pain. I didn’t expect him to recover from that so soon. “Come on K, let’s get moving. You still have time before the rage gets the best of you.” He looked up at the moon. “Until the first bone breaks, you still have control over yourself.”

My ears twitched. There it was again. The voice from the distance. It was faint over the incessant talking of Angel boy, but I heard it. Closing my eyes, I strained my ears. I swallowed as a painful hunger clawed at my stomach. My mouth drooled as a burning sensation ravaged my insides. My eyes fluttered open and I saw Michael’s lips moved as he spoke, but all I can hear was the voice from far away. I shook my head as I tried--

“s**t,” Michael said.

For a moment I wondered why Michael swore, but then I looked down at my arm. My elbow was twisted outward. My eyes widened. All of a sudden, fear kicked in, replacing all the rage and power that brewed within me. Until the first bone breaks, you still have control over yourself, I heard Angel boy’s voice inside my head. “Michael,” I whispered in a voice so soft, it was almost like a prayer.

I fell on my hands to the ground, small and sharp rocks dug into my skin. My rapid breathing got faster and harder as I fought to drive away the fear trying to poison my mind. A sharp pain flared all over me as I heard my spine twist and break. I screamed. I arched my back as my I felt my backbone twist and click in jerks. A nameless agony spread all throughout my body. It was nothing like I have ever felt. A distant memory of me as a kid falling from a tree flashed in my mind. I broke my leg then. The pain that I felt when I was rushed to the hospital by my first foster mom could not compare to the agony that weaved through my muscles. Make it stop.

My eyes watered as I screamed at the top of my lungs. My body felt swollen, as though I was run over by a bus. Another click resounded as my shoulder broke. I screamed again. My arms twisted inward and the bones on my legs clicked. Every part of my body was hurting. My teeth hurt. My nails hurt. Damn, even my hair hurt. Please make it stop.

My heart felt like bursting as I felt my blood flow through my veins. Hot and slow and thick. My skin felt like it was on fire. I yelled and howled and shrieked all at the same time. My throat hurt like a b***h from my endless screaming. No more sound came out. My face contorted and jerked in spasms against my will. I fought hard to contain the involuntary movement of my muscles to no avail. Somebody, please...

Sharp, tearing sounds pierced the night air as my clothes ripped from the swelling of my muscles. I could feel the weight of my body double as my tissues, ligaments and everything inside me increased in size. Terror gripped harder as I saw my small body hairs grow and turn to dark fur. I screamed like a horrified cheerleader as I watched my nails pop out of my fingers. Another soundless scream rose from my throat as I saw the first claw burst from the tip of my thumb. A second later, all my fingers had claws.

For a moment, everything stopped. I hyperventilated, drawing in sharp breaths to ease my pain and horror. I thought it was over, but I was wrong. Looking up to the moon, I prayed for a miracle. But the miracle never came.

Only nightmare.

The crimson film over my vision was replaced with a blinding darkness. My eyes were open, but I could not see anything. I thrashed my head sideways as everything that I felt multiplied tenfold. All the remaining bones that didn’t break snapped at the same time. I screamed. My muscles twisted and contorted in ways I could not imagine. My mouth elongated into a muzzle and I felt my teeth move and adjust. My canines sharpened to points. I tasted blood as the thick fangs pierced into my skin. The previously slow agony sped into a rapid succession of spasms. I felt every muscle in my body shake as the last wave of the transformation took place. It’s nearly over, I thought as I drew my head back. I tried to speak, but no words came, only a shrill ululation. I was howling. I heard a drop of saliva fall from my mouth to the ground. It was then that I knew that it was finished. My body throbbed, but I was no longer in pain. Blinking my eyes, my vision returned. I looked down at what used to be my hands. They were now paws, covered with dark brown fur. Razor-sharp claws protruded from each toe. I took a step forward.

“Tiger?” I heard the man in front of me. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t remember who he was. And I couldn’t care any less.

I took another step, my eyes focused on the strange man before me. Who is he?

Who am I? I wanted to speak, but only growls came out of my throat. I snarled and bared my teeth as I saw the man move. Something hot and burning coursed through my veins. It wasn’t fear, nor was it rage. It was hunger. A hunger that need satiation. I sniffed the air, the nearest scent smelled like rain. I didn’t like it. My throat vibrated from growling. Drawing my muzzle higher in the air, I sniffed again. Salt and blood. I held on to the thread of the faraway scent.

The ears on top of my head twitched as I heard another voice from the distance. It was faint, but for a reason, I knew exactly where it came from. My throat moved as I swallowed and I tasted blood.

Without another thought, I turned around on all fours. It felt strange and new. A feeling of strength lay dormant within my new form. What was I before? I shook my head and focused again on the sound. Sure of the location of my prey, I howled and turned to run.

The man behind me screamed someone’s name, but I did not stop. I raced on to the depths of the woods, the clawing hunger pushing me forward. What am I now? I asked myself as I leaped and disappeared into the shadows.