Failed Attempts
530 Words
The next night,he didn't arrive home.I was waiting for him because I made him his coffee.It was the moment of truth.
It was the moment to decide whether I should confront or control.
It was 11 pm.I made him a glass of black coffee.I slowly took the vile in my hands.
The ricin.
My hand was trembling.What was wrong with me? I tried to remind myself that I am doing this for Alex and not myself.
Nothing worked.
I couldn't pour the ricin in the coffee.
Why should I kill him?
All he did was being kind and caring to me.He didn't give me any pain.
Why should I get revenge for someone who is dead?
It's because they are dead.
Why am I having second thoughts? What happened to me? I told myself from the beginning that it was forbidden between us.
If I took a cup of coffee to him, would he trust me and drink it instead of thinking that it was poisoned.
I took heavy breaths.Tears crawled down my cheek.My whole face was red.
I sobbed.I wiped my tears and tried to get ahold of myself.
I thought about what happened in the past year.He kissed my hands when I broke it,he bandaged my wounds when I'd hurt myself.He embraced me when I felt sad.He waited for me every morning to have breakfast.He killed so many people for me.He knew what hurt me and what makes me happy.He understood me the best.Then why should I kill him?
Is it because he killed Alex?
I never loved Alex.I convinced myself that I loved him because I never believed in love.What's better than to marry your best friend?
I don't know whether he loved me or not.I don't know what love is.
I brushed away my thoughts.
I will do it.I closed my eyes and poured the ricin in the coffee.
I mixed the coffee with the spoon.I wiped my tears and smiled.
I walked towards his study.I heard he returned.I knocked on the door.
"Yes,come in." I heard his magnetic voice.So attractive,so tempting.
I walked inside slowly.
"Hi." I whispered slowly.He looked at me and frowned.He stood up and closed his laptop.
"I made some coffee for you." I whispered and narrowed my eyes.
"Oh..." He replied and took the coffee from my hand."Thank you." He smiled.
That smile,that goddamn smile.Why did he smile?!
As he was about to take the first sip,I realized that he trusted me.He really trusted me.
"Don't!" I said loudly.
"What?" He asked surprisingly.
"Don't drink it." I said as I pulled the mug from his hand but he didn't let it go.
"Give me it." I said.
"Why?" He asked as he leaned closer to me.
"Don't you trust me?" I asked.He was silent for a moment.
"I do." He said in the lowest tone possible.
"I am sorry." I whispered and leaned closer to him.
I snatched the mug from his hand and I threw away the mug alongside with the coffee in it.I threw away that vile too.
I can't do it.I can't do it.
I ran to my room and cry."I am sorry Alex.I couldn't do it." I sobbed loudly.
- Writer
