Red’s Regrets

Episode 3: The Other Girl

Busy si Red at nakatoon lang ang atensyon niya sa Laptop kaya kumuha ako ng tray at naglagay ng mga pagkain para sa hapunan niya. Sasabihin ko na rin sa kanya na bibisita sina Dad dito bukas para mabigyan niya ng oras. I breathe heavily at kumatok sa pinto. I heard him curse and muttered "Come in," kaya pumasok ako sa loob.

I saw him typing on his laptop. Lumapit ako sa kanya at nilagay ang tray sa mesa. I smiled at him.

"Kumain ka muna, Red." Sabi ko sa kanya. He didn't answer at nagpatuloy lang sa pag-type sa laptop niya. I sigh and bite my lip dahil sasabihin ko na sa kanya na pupunta rito sila Dad.

"Red, bibisita raw ang pamilya ko bukas." Sabi ko sa kanya at napahinto siya at tumingin sa akin. His eyes widened.

"Kasama ba si Lily?" He hurriedly asked and I felt a pang on my chest. I tried so hard not to show him na nasasaktan ako dahil he is interested kapag kasama na si Lily sa usapan. I nodded my head and I saw him breathe heavily. I saw him walking towards his closet at kumuha ng mga damit na naka hanger.

"Can you help me choose what to wear for tomorrow? I have to impress Lily." Sabi niya and I forced back a sob and nodded my head quietly. Lumapit ako sa kanya. "Where do you think Lily would like? Since kapatid mo siya, alam mo naman ang gusto niya diba?" Tanong niya. His words are like knives that are piercing my chest but I choose to brush it off.

I glance at the two outfits that he is holding. The other one looks simple, which I like but Lily likes the expensive and grand things kaya mas magugustuhan niya itong pangalawang outfit. Tinuro ko ang pangalawa and he smiled, ngayon ko lang siya nakita na ngumiti.

"Listen Hope, pinag isipan ko na ito and it is better if we divorce in 6 months. I can handle this at kakausapin ko si Dad na e switch kay Lily ang posisyon mo. For now, sabayan muna natin sila. How about that idea?" He asked. Napaatras naman ako sa sinabi niya. "I know I've been a jerk to you kaya mas mabuti na maging kaibigan nalang tayo from now and we will get out of this marriage together." He added. He wants to be friends para makalabas siya sa kasal namin. I can't help but feel broken pero wala na akong magagawa.

Please don't cry, Hope. I nodded my head. He smiled.

"Thank you for cooperating, Hope." He said at pilit akong ngumiti at lumabas sa kwarto niya na mabigat ang nararamdaman. I ran to my room and sobbed in my bed. I cried there like a baby. He wants a divorce in six months. Akala ko magiging akin na siya habang buhay pero hindi pala. He wants to get out of our marriage at hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.

***

I didn't dare to get up, wala akong gana na bumangon. Kanina pa ako nagising pero tulala lang ako sa kama ko. I heard a knock on my door.

"Hope, okay ka lang? Bakit hindi kapa bumabangon?" Narinig ko ang tanong ni Nanay Alma sa labas. I sighed and I replied to her.

"Maliligo muna ako, Nay." Sabi ko and she left. Pumunta ako sa banyo and I gasped at my state. Namumugto ang mga mata ko at anyone who will see it will know that I've cried. I sighed and took a bath at nagbihis ng pambahay na mga damit. Isang oversized shirt at basketball jersey na shorts. I don't need to impress my family, they already saw my worst state.

I applied a foundation para hindi mahalata ang mga mata ko and I put some lipstick on. Bumaba ako at nakita ko si Red na nanonood ng Tv. Mamayang gabi pa darating sila Dad dito pero Hindi talaga siya pumunta sa trabaho, pinaghandaan niya talaga kasi pupunta si Lily. I shook the thoughts away but I could not brush the pain in my heart.

Kumuha ako ng vacuum at sinimulan kong maglinis, nakasanayan ko na talagang tulungan si Nanay Alma kasi sa bahay pa namin noon. Nakita ko na napalingon si Red sa akin and he eyed me up and down. Uminit ang pisngi ko at nagpatuloy sa pag vacuum. Bakit ba kasi ito ang sinout ko? Para akong babaeng kapapanganak lang.

***

Nagluluto kami ni Nanay Alma at malakas ang tunog ng musika na pinapatugtog ko. I danced excitedly and shake my butt ng tumunog ang "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift. Narinig ko ang malakas na tawa ni Nanay Alma habang tinitignan ako. Babae lang naman ako, naka oversize shirt at basketball jersey shorts na sumasayaw na parang baliw.

I heard a cough sa likod ko and I gasped when I saw Red na tinitignan ako at pilit na pinipigilan ang pagtawa niya. I blushed, Akala ko naliligo pa siya, bakit ang dali lang niyang matapos? His hair is wet at bagong bihis ito pero pambahay pa ang suot niya.

"Nice dance," He forced back a laugh at napayuko naman ako sa hiya. Tinulungan kami ni Red magluto and we chopped the ingredients together. I winced in pain when I accidentally cut my finger. I saw Red grab my hand at tinignan ito, sparks ignited in my body as he held my hand. My eyes widened nang sinipsip niya ang dugo sa daliri ko.

"O-okay lang, Red. Hayaan mo na," Nahihiya kong sabi. He let go of my hand at aged ko itong tinago sa likod ko.

"Mag ingat ka kasi," Sabi niya at nagpatuloy sa pagtadtad ng mga ingredients. I bit my lip and continued to chop softly. Magaling naman talaga ako sa mga ganito pero naiilang lang ako kapag kasama ko si Red that is why I can't focus.

Nang matapos na kaming magluto, hinanda na namin ang lahat ng pagkain. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost 6 kaya nagbihis na si Red at nagbihis na lang din ako dahil madumi na ang mga damit ko. I picked a simple white dress and sandals. I put some simple makeup on, I just feel like I want to impress Red tonight.

I heard the doorbell ring kaya lumabas na ako sa kwarto. I saw Red na lumalabas rin sa kwarto niya. He glanced at me and eyed me. I blushed at his stare. He is wearing the outfit that I have chosen. Blue suit jacket and blue slacks. He looks so hot and expensive.

"You look pretty," He said and my heart beat fast dahil sa sinabi niya at nakaramdam ako ng saya. I thanked him and complimented him as well. I felt nervous kung anong mangyayari sa dinner na ito.

We went downstairs and I saw Mom, Dad, and Lily waiting for us. Lily looks so gorgeous in her red and tight dress and her light and long brown hair looks natural compared to my brown hair. I glanced at Red and he was staring at Lily with adoration and I felt a pang in my chest.

Binati kami nila Dad and I hugged them. I saw Red looking nervous habang lumalapit Kay Lily and he greeted her. I averted my gaze away from them. Umupo kaming lahat sa hapag kainan. Magkatabi kami ni Red habang magkaharap sila ni Lily.

"How's marriage life?" Tanong ni Dad habang kumakain kami.

"We are still adjusting, Tito Fred." Sabi ni Red and they talked about the company and stuff. I saw Lily smile at me and I smiled back. She eyed me and then Red and wiggled her brows.

"Did you do that thing already?" Tanong niya and I blushed. I know what "thing" she meant because she keeps teasing me with it. I shook my head and playfully glared at her. Napalingon si Red sa amin.

"Kailan kami magkakaroon ng apo?" I spilled the water in my mouth nang tinanong iyon ni Mom. I looked at her in disbelief.

"Mom," I whined and they laughed. Tahimik lang si Red habang kumakain. I felt a nudge on my waist at tumingin ako kay Red. He leaned in and whispered.

"Can you get her to talk to me?" He asked and I bit my lip and brushed off the pain in my heart. I nodded my head at tinawag si Lily. She glanced at me.

"Can I talk to you, mamaya?" Tanong ko nito and she nodded her head.

Nang matapos na kaming kumain, niligpit na ni Nanay Alma ang mga plato and I am planning to help her mamaya. Mom and Dad sat in the living room at aalis na sila after nilang magpahinga sandali. I grabbed Lily's hands at hinila siya patungo sa labas.

"Red wants to talk to you." Sabi ko sa kanya, I hid the hurt that I am feeling right now. I just want Red to be happy.

"Why?" Tanong niya sa akin. I sigh sadly, hindi alam ni Lily na gusto ko si Red. Nakita ko si Red na papunta sa amin. He smiled at Lily at nakaramdam ako ng selos.

"You look beautiful," He said to her at aalis na sana ako but I couldn't stop listening to their conversation. Lily glanced at him and me. "Hope doesn't mind, she knows about this. I've been dying to tell you this but I don't have the courage." Sabi ni Red and he breathed heavily and I walked away with an aching heart but I still heard his words that shattered my heart.

“Can we get to know each other more, Lily?”