Strictly Business

Chapter 7

“Are you really not talking to me?” Zoey asks as I drive down the road. We had found a way around the town after we had released a large horde of zombies into the area. Luckily, the man hadn’t gotten to our truck yet. Kai is sitting between us and is giving her the silent treatment as well, something that is killing her.

“I already said I was sorry,” she tells us.

“Sorry?” Kai breaks and turns toward her, his body brushing against mine, “you could have gotten us all killed. You knew exactly what you were going into. Why would you do that? For fun? For the excitement?”

“No,” she shakes her head and I turn toward her. The emotion in her voice...this was personal.

“You knew him,” I say, glancing back toward the road, “you knew they wouldn’t chase us down that road.”

“Y-yes,” she stutters out, “I grew up around here.”

“You knew him before the apocalypse?”

“Yeah,” she nods, “he was an asshole then too.”

“What did he do?” Kai asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

“He did unspeakable things to my baby brother and left him for dead,” she says, letting out a heartbreaking sob, “the police were useless and claimed there wasn’t enough evidence but it was only because he had a fat wallet. Even as a child, I knew they were dirty. When I saw the route Lou had chosen, I altered it enough just so we could drive through here. I’ve wanted to kill him since I was eight and I finally got to in a better way than I could have imagined. I hadn’t expected that but...he’s dead so...I know how against killing you are, Cas. I couldn’t have you refuse.”

“Tell me, Zoey,” I say, “did that make you feel better?” 

“Yes.” 

“Good,” I tell her, “next time you want to live out your revenge fantasy, tell me, please. I’d rather go in knowing we’re about to kill some dude rather than think you’re being an idiot.”  

“You’re not going to scold me?”

“That man was a monster, he wasn’t human in my eyes,” I tell her, “I was going to kill him myself. I’m glad you got to instead.”

She nods and I glance over as Kai wraps an arm around her. She leans into his comforting embrace and I am hit for a moment on how perfect they would be as a couple. A tinge of jealousy flows through me as I turn my full attention back to the road. Who am I jealous of? What am I jealous of? 

Stop it, I tell myself, think about something that matters. 

Like the fact that you told them you would have killed him? I think to myself. Even as bad as he was, I don’t think I could bring myself to kill an actual human being. Yes, a good deal of them are assholes but they’re still humans, you know? Even those I think should die...I wouldn’t be able to bring on the punishment. Perhaps I am the naive one…

“Are you okay?” Kai asks, leaning toward me.

“Yeah,” I shrug, “just wondering where we’ll be setting up camp as it is almost sundown. As much as I would love to have us drive endlessly, it might be better for us to actually lay down somewhere and relax.”

“Okay,” Zoey speaks up with a smile, “ideas?” 

“That was my idea.” 

“There’s a camping ground not too far from here,” Kai says, “it’s marked safe on Lou’s map.”

“Perfect,” I mutter as I glance over at the map. It is a couple miles ahead and there isn’t anything near it according to the map. There are three signs for it before the actual turn off and I smile as I turn up the incline. I pull into the flat area that overlooks a small lake. Zoey giggles and jumps out, running toward the edge. I turn off the truck and toss the keys to Kai before opening the door. 

“Hey,” Kai says, stopping me.

“What’s up?”

“Did she ever tell you she had a brother?”

“Nope.”

“That doesn’t bother you?” 

“Should it?”

“All my friends get offended when they figure out things about me that I hadn’t mentioned to them,” he shrugs, “I never told them about my sister and when they found out I had had one, they got all snippy with me.”

“I don’t like delving into my past,” I shrug, “so I will never force anyone else to. All that matters now is the here and now. That’s why me and Zoey are great friends. She doesn’t ask about my past, I don’t ask about hers. It’s an easy deal.” 

“You didn’t used to be like that,” he mutters.

“Nah,” I shrug and turn to look him in the eyes, “the last time I really opened up to my only friend, they ditched me so...I adapted.” 

“Cassidy-” he calls after me as I jump out of the truck. I take a deep breath as I walk toward Zoey, who is still staring down at the blue water. 

“Hey,” I bump her shoulder, “I’m sorry about your brother.”

“I know,” she nods, “I didn’t tell you that for sympathy. I just wanted you to understand that I hadn’t been trying to kill you.”

“I’m very aware,” I frown down at the cliffside. I turn back toward Kai, who is getting supplies out of the truck. I lean over toward her, “tell me why we had to bring him?”

“The big dogs wanted it,” she laughs, “he hasn’t been so bad, has he? You and him actually make a pretty good team.”

“We do not,” I elbow her. 

“You two would make a hella cute couple,” she adds, waving her eyebrows.

“Gross,” I chuckle, “I was thinking the same thing about you too?”

“Really?” she laughs, “not going to happen. For one thing, that is against bestie code to go after someone she likes, stop lying to yourself, and two...he’s not my type. I’m more into lanky nerds, not athletic softies like him.” 

“Shut up,” I complain, “I don’t like him. He’s an asshole.”

“Who’s an asshole?” Kai asks, walking up beside us with a large bag over his shoulder. 

“You,” I tell him, overjoyed by the fact that he hadn’t heard the first part. 

“Ouch,” he mutters and gestures toward the bag, “sleeping gear is in here if you two want to unpack it. I’m going to set up our noise traps.”

“Yay,” I mutter as I take it from him. His eyes stare into mine before he walks away. I watch him leave before turning toward Zoey. She smiles as I set the bag down and we get to unpacking. There is a way to set up a shelter type thing with a tarp and metal rods but we simply toss that to the side. The sky is clear and the sunset is gorgeous. We start setting up a place to make the fire and set out the three sleeping bags around it. Kai soon joins us with canned fruit and plops down on his sleeping bag. 

“I’ll take first watch,” he tells us.

“You hurt his feelings,” Zoey laughs as she lays down. I roll my eyes as I curl up in my own. The feeling of exhaustion overcomes me and sleep isn’t far behind. I pull the rough fabric up to my chin and don’t even kick off my boots before drifting off. 

“Cassidy,” A soft voice and a rough grab of my shoulder yanks me out of my dreamless sleep. I sit up, ready to fight only to find Zoey standing above me. Kai is snoring softly to the side of me and I untangle myself from the sleeping bag and force myself to stand up.

“Okay,” I mutter and wipe my eyes before sitting back down. Zoey smiles as she curls up in her own sleeping bag. She’s almost immediately asleep, something I’m jealous of. I usually have to wait a while before sleep will take me. I sit by the dying fire and watch the night sky. I listen to the soft movements of small animals darting through the trees. Luckily, the zombie virus is a human virus. Most animals are relatively immune to the disease. They can carry it, though, so hunting is as dangerous as scavenging. 

About an hour into my boredom, Kai’s steady breathing changes. I jump up and turn toward him, thinking he woke up and found something but, no. He’s sleeping but tossing and turning like he’s having a nightmare. I sigh as I step toward him, I don’t want his noise to attract any unwanted attention. I kneel by his side and softly shake his shoulder. His eyes fly open and he stares at me for a moment. I think he’s awake until he lunges up and tackles me to the ground with a crazy look in his tired eyes. He looks back and forth into mine before falling against me, his forehead pressed against my shoulder. I ignore the rapid beating of my heart as I wait for his breathing to go back to normal. He slowly pushes himself up and detangles himself from me. I sit up and raise my eyebrows at him.

“Just a nightmare,” he mutters and turns away from me but it’s too late. I already saw the tears in his eyes. I look over at unconscious Zoey and wish she had been the one awake for this. She is better in these situations. 

“Kai,” I whisper and reach out to him. I grab his arm and pull him toward me. He twists his body just enough for me to lean toward him. I do the only thing I can think of. I wrap my arms around him. Slowly, carefully, he wraps his arms around me. I whisper against his neck, “I don’t know what you’re going through but...I’m sorry about whatever it is.”

His sharp intake of breath startles me until his arms tighten around me. I can feel his breath become heavy and it takes me a moment to realize he’s crying. The great Kai is actually crying. An evil part of me wants to enjoy this moment. It’s telling me that Kai isn’t as perfect as he claims to me. The other part, the soft part, is sharing his pain. I don’t think any of us ever have any true time to mourn so when it comes, it comes hard. I have to remind myself that Kai isn’t an all bad guy. He’s an asshole that saves lives, I tell myself. 

Of course, I can’t deny that a small part of me still cares about him. Zoey’s words ring in my ear and I immediately regret letting them surface. 

“You still like him, stop lying to yourself.”

“Why?” he asks, keeping his head buried in my neck.

“Why what?” I ask him back.

“Why are you comforting me?” he poses his question but makes no move to look at me, “you said I am an asshole.” 

“You are,” I tell him, “but that doesn’t mean I like seeing you, let alone anyone, in pain. Hugs are magic, or so my aunt used to say, they can’t heal you but…”

“Damn it, if they don’t make you feel better,” Kai nods as he pulls away from me but only enough to look at my face, “I remember.”

“Good,” I tell him, not knowing what else to say. As I said, I’m not good at these situations. Or, at any situations that involve human interactions. He doesn’t say anything as he pulls me back to his chest. I sigh as I tighten my arms around him and just enjoy the warmth that radiates off him. 

“Okay,” I pull away. He frowns for a moment and I just roll my eyes and push him back down to his sleeping bag. I pull the cover over him and pause for a moment as I wipe the salty tears off his cheeks before sitting back on my heels, “you are tired and you need your sleep, okay?”

“Hey,” he says, grabbing my wrist as I move to crawl away, “thank you.”

“Of course,” I reach out and pinch his cheeks as if he were a child, “and don’t worry, little baby-boo, I won’t tell anyone.” 

He chuckles softly as I sit back down on my sleeping bag. I am hit with nostalgia as I lean back on my arms. My aunt would often come comfort me after my own nightmares, though mine usually were about my parents abandoning me. I wonder what caused him to be in such a way...not that it was any of my business. I was simply comforting him so that he wouldn’t make much more noise.

“You still like him, stop lying to yourself.”

I shake the thought out of my head. I know it’s true. I was able to hide behind my anger and hurt when I could ignore him but now...he’s back to being his same nice self and I’m stuck looking like the asshole. Remember, I tell myself, he may act like friends here but when you’re back at the outpost, he’s going to leave you just as easily as he had the first time. 

I watch the sunrise and allow it to bring with it new worries and hopes. The point of this mission isn’t Kai. We have to find Mr. Lou’s daughter. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before walking toward Zoey’s sleeping body. I nudge her with my foot and she shifts awake. I laugh at her crazy looking hair before I turn toward Kai. I nudge him with my foot, harder than I had with Zoey, and he bolts up away. His eyes look up at me and he smiles slightly before standing. 

He stands still and smiles widely at me. I frown and take a step away from him before he throws his arms around me. I complain as I am crushed into his chest. I can hear Zoey laughing from behind me before I feel her body slam into mine as well. 

“Why are we hugging?” she asks.

“Cassidy, here, doesn’t hate me,” he answers. 

“Yay!” Zoey laughs as she walks away. 

“Can I go now?” I ask him.

“Not until you hug me back,” he shakes his head as he looks down at me, “that’s the rule, remember?” 

Ah, yes, the rule that I created when we had first met. I glare up at him as I slowly wrap my arms around his torso. I lightly press my hands against his back, desperate to ignore the muscled body I was pressed against. While I can deny my liking of him all I want, I can’t deny his attractiveness. 

“Was that so hard?” he asks, mocking voice from last night as he pinches my cheeks. I punch him in the gut and back away from him as he doubles over. He groans as he laughs, his contagious smile threatening my resolve. I roll my eyes and walk away from him to help Zoey clean up our camp. 

“We have about another few days of driving and we should be there,” Kai tells us as we pile into the truck. He takes the driver’s seat and squishes me against Zoey as he continues, “as long as we don’t run out of gas or take any detours like yesterday.”

“Yay,” Zoey and I say at the same time as we pull out of the little camping area. I lean back against the seat and look over at Kai. He looks refreshed and happy. I wonder, though I’ll never bring it up, what he was dreaming about. We drive in silence for a few hours and I look down to find Zoey sleeping soundly on my shoulder. Kai looks over and takes a deep breath.

“About last night,” he starts off but I interrupt him.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” I assure him.

“I...I want to,” he says, although he says it as if asking a question, “I’d feel weird if I don’t explain myself. I’m not usually so...emotional.”

“Okay,” I nod and look at his narrowed eyes.

“Me and my team were driving like we were with someone standing out of the top. I was driving and I hadn’t noticed how low the trees were. I drove under some and my friend flew out of the truck,” he nods and laughs bitterly, “it would have been fine if...if we weren’t being chased by some assholes trying to steal our supplies. They hadn’t even meant to kill him...I can still hear the sound of his body being crushed by their truck.”

“Oh god,” I shiver at the thought, “I’m sorry.” 

“I know,” he nods, “everyone is but...I can’t sleep around anyone because I’m scared that…”

“They’d think you’re weak,” I answered for him. He nods as he glances over at me with fear in his eyes. I smile softly and lean back against the chair, “I think you’re an asshole, Kai, never question that. However, I have never thought of you as weak. Last night didn’t change that.”

“Thank you,” he chuckles, “I know it’s something that I shouldn’t care about because, hello, the zombies are here and no one is going to care but...”

“You’re a leader, Kai,” I shrug, “people expect you to be this big strong force. I get it, okay? I wouldn’t want to break that image either.”

“You’re really not going to tell anyone?”

“Nope.”

“Why?” he asks, “anyone else would jump for the opportunity to humiliate someone who wronged them.”

“That’s all high school drama,” I tell him, “and, besides, you didn’t do something horrendous. You only ditched me, after all.” 

“A stupid mistake,” he says, “you’re a hell of a lot funner than any of my current friends.”

“Am I now?” I ask him.

“Very much so,” he laughs, “I...Jeez, Cas, I’m sorry.”

“What?” 

“I keep thinking back at what happened and I feel so stupid.”

“What did happen?” I ask him, “you were spending every day with me and then you weren’t.” 

“I...just got so bombarded by everything happening at once,” he tells me, “I had so many people pulling me in different directions.and wanting something different from me. When I started to run missions and runs, well, that was it. I was happy at first because, you know, who doesn’t want success and comfort? It took me far too long to realize that I had surrounded myself with people who were only friends with me because of that success and I had lost the one person who hadn’t wanted anything from me. I tried to apologize and tried to become friends with her again but, alas, she called me an asshole and slammed the door in my face.”

“Wait,” I say, “when?”

“Yeah, no, that was Zoey,” he nods after a moment, “she was over at your apartment and answered the door for you.” 

“When?” I repeat my question, “she never told me about you coming over.”

“Oh?” he frowns and glances over at me, “would you have said anything different?”

“Would probably depend on what you had said,” I shrug and feel Zoey sitting up, efficiently stopping any further conversation.