Roses & Bullets

XV. Jealousy

ERIK

I just finished taking a shower when I hear a sound coming from the door. It's only a faint sound, but I know someone is there. After years of spending overseas, I think I've become paranoid.

Better paranoid than dead. Without thoroughly drying my hair, I wrap the towel around my waist and check to see who is lingering outside my room. There's no one there, but I catch a glimpse of long, brown hair by the stairs.

Claire. I'm about to go back inside when I see a tray of food on the floor. I pick it up and close the door, smiling to myself like an i***t. She really is such a kind person.

I set it down on the bed and continue to dry myself up. After wearing a shirt and khaki shorts, I start to devour the pancakes and sausages. The coffee smells wonderful, so I take a sip, and just like that, everything seems to be in place.

I didn't actually eat outside. I only said that because I didn't want to sit beside Claire, especially not after what happened last night. But now, here I am, eating the meal she prepared for me.

Well, for all of us. I'm sure these are just the leftovers. Still, it's so kind of her to take it here to my room after I already refused to have breakfast with them.

I feel guilty. The least I can do is thank Claire. After taking three more bites of my pancake, I take one last sip of the coffee before deciding to head down.

I comb my damp hair with my fingers and then apply a small amount of perfume to my neck. What the f**k is that for? I honestly don't know why I did that, but it's already too late.

It's like I'm a teenager trying to get the attention of the girl he likes. I head downstairs, and I see Claire quietly coming out of her father's room. I must have miscalculated our distance because I move closer to her, and she bumps into me as soon as she turns around.

She looks startled, but Claire quickly gains composure and takes two steps back. I, on the other hand, remain in my spot.

She stares at me, no, glares at me like she wants to punch me. I hold her gaze, and I try to remember my purpose here: To thank her.

However, I can't seem to find my voice, so we just stare at each other for a few minutes. She then folds her arms and raises one eyebrow as if questioning my presence. This is the time to speak.

"Thank you," I blurt out.

"Excuse me?"

"For the pancakes," I add. "Thank you for the pancakes."

"Dad told me to bring some to your room."

"Oh."

So that's the reason why. She didn't do it out of kindness. She did it because her father told her to.

"In that case, please thank your dad for me." Did I really just say that?

"Do it yourself." Claire scoffs and pushes her way past me. She heads to the lobby, and I feel like I have no other choice but to follow her. She is about to go outside when I catch up with her.

"Claire, wait!" I reach out for her hand, and she turns to look at me in disgust. At least she doesn't pull back.

"What do you want?" she hisses.

"I'm sorry about last night," I say tenderly, still holding her hand. Thank God I didn't leave a bruise on her.

"Sorry for what, Erik?" she asks, her eyebrows furrowed.

"For snapping." For hurting you.

"Why, Erik?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you suddenly get mad at me? I mean, we were fine during dinner and all of a sudden, you what? Snapped?"

"I don't know.."

"You don't know?"

This is so hard. I can't possibly explain to her what happened to me. I'm about to say something when the front door opens, and a young man about my age enters.

"Hey, Claire!" he exclaims. He notices our holding hands, and his expression immediately changes. "Are you all right, Claire? Is something wrong?"

"No, Mikey," Claire tells him, pulling her hand from mine. "Erik's just about to leave."

"Erik?" he asks, moving closer to us.

"He's our new guest," Claire replies.

Who the f**k is this? Is he Claire's boyfriend. Claire didn't mention anything about him last night.

"I'm Mikey Bennet," he says to me, offering his hand. I look at Claire, who is looking at us nervously, and then back at him before leaving.

I know it's rude what I did, but I'm just not in the mood right now. Seeing him being overprotective of Claire annoys me, and I don't even know why. I need to go somewhere peaceful and quiet.

I remember seeing a small library while I was jogging, so I decide just to go there. It's almost empty, except for the librarian and a couple of students, I guess. I pick a random novel on the shelf and choose a quiet spot in the corner.

I sit down, trying to calm myself when I read the title of the book: War and Peace. I laugh, and the librarian tells me to keep it down.

You have got to be f*****g kidding me. Of all the books on the shelf, I got this one. I open the cover, but I don't bother reading it.

As I stare at the book, my thoughts go back to Claire. I remember how disgusted she looked when I held her hand. I want to apologize appropriately to her.

To take my mind off her, I have no other choice but to read. I've only read twenty pages when I realize that I really hate reading. And that I really hate this book.

I get up and put it back on the shelf before heading back home. I walk slowly, thinking that Mikey might still be there. So what? I should stop thinking about them.

I'm looking at the ground the whole time I'm strolling, so I don't notice the bicycle coming my way. We collide and both hit the ground. The person riding it is just a few years younger than I am, maybe around twenty-three years old, and he has sandy hair and green eyes.

"I'm so sorry," he apologizes as he tries to help me up. He's a little slim but almost as tall as me.

"It's all right," I say as I check the deep cut on my hand.

"I lost balance," he stammers. "I really didn't mean to." He sounds so scared that I feel sorry for him.

"Hey, it was an accident," I tell him as we both try to get his bicycle back up.

"But you're bleeding," he points to my hand, and I see that he is starting to panic.

"I'm fine," I assure him. "Just be careful next time." I give him a pat on the shoulder with my uninjured hand, and then I continue my way back to the hostel.

"Sorry again!" he shouts, and I just wave my hand.

Kids. He kind of reminds me of someone, I just don't remember who. When I reach the hostel, I see Mikey and Claire in the kitchen.

Claire's eyes widen when she sees the blood, but I immediately turn away to head upstairs. I go straight to the bathroom to wash the cut and feel relieved that it isn't deep enough to need stitches. I must have hit a small rock when I fell and didn't realize it.

I look for a first aid kit and glad that I found one. After applying some ointment to my wound, I wrap a gauze around it and secure it with a surgical tape. After that, I sit by the window and stare at the clouds.

As I do, I try to understand this new feeling that I'm having. I don't like the idea that Claire is with Mikey downstairs, but it's not like it's any of my business. What the hell is this?