Complete Me

Chapter 4

                                                        ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 

                                                                                    Copyright © 2021 Cassey9

PROF. LAKEWOOD

“No I don’t want this,” Nillan yells throwing the pair of pants on the floor.

Getting the boys cleaned up and dressed proves a difficult task especially with the pounding headache I'm currently experiencing. Nillan stood only in his boxers arms crossed looking at me crossly. Refusing to wear the clothes I’d chosen for him, Killan seeing this mirrors his brother’s behavior. 'Inhale peace exhale stress' I say my calming mantra, my patience was running thin. Cracking like thin ice under pressure.

“Me too!” Killan follows throwing his clothes too. Great! Rubbing my hands on my forehead I take a deep breathe trying to hold back the tears. All this was too much. I was still wrapping my head around the transpiring events. Lawrence hadn’t come home last night, worsening my anxiety.

“I don’t want it! I don’t…”

“Okay…okay fine,” I settle my voice breaking. Picking the clothes I get up. With my back against them I wipe the tear from my eye and walk back to the closet to pick out a different outfit for them. Taking a yellow sweater and some grey jeans and black vans for Killan and a pair of red shorts, white long-sleeved t-shirt, sweater and sneakers for Nillan. Showing the new choice to the twins they both nod in excitement.

I sigh in relief and help them get dressed. Nillan always liked shorts and Killan preferred jeans. With their shoes on I pick up the discarded pajamas and fold them neatly.

We descend the stairs hand in hand, the quietness of the house overpowering. I was so used to the morning sounds and tantalizing aromas. Marissa would be in the kitchen preparing breakfast and my husband seated in the living room either watching CNN or browsing on his computer scanning news about the forex market.  Despite not having to go to work, Lawrence was an early bird. Today however, pin drop silence consumes the entire house.

I set Killan and Nillan on their stools and move around the island to get them their breakfast.  “Mommy, are you making us waffles like Marissa does?” Killan asks but I nod my head in refusal. We were already late and I still had to take them to school and also think of fixing my car and phone.

“Pancakes?” Killan questions again as I set two bowls and bananas before them.

“No. We’ll have cereals today. Is that okay?” Getting the milk I pour it in a container and set it in the microwave to warm it up. I pour the cereal in their bowls as the milk gets ready. “Tomorrow I’ll make you all the waffles and pancakes you want…with as much syrup you can eat. Is that okay Killan?”

“But daddy said that isn’t the best meal…”

“Well your father isn’t here Nillan. Now eat up please. We are getting late for school,” I reply in a clipped voice. Nillan instantly stops his retort watching quietly as I serve him. They eat in relative silence until they finish their breakfast moving to the banana I’d set for them.

“What about you Mommy?”

“I’m not hungry sweetie, why don’t you go brush your teeth,” I say smiling. Killan gets off the stool and comes around to high five me before heading out of the kitchen. Nillan clears his breakfast but is hesitant as he approaches me.

“Thank you Mommy,” he says. Feeling bad for snapping at him I bend down and pick him up setting him up on the counter. My hand runs through his hair, palming the smooth strands.

“I’m sorry sweetie. I didn’t mean to upset you,” I say wiping the sides of his mouth, “Please forgive mommy.”

“Okay. You really miss daddy right?” Nillan holds me cheek.

“What do you mean Nillan,” I ask trying to keep the anger from my voice.

“He’s gone and you miss him. Don’t worry he’ll be back. But I’ll protect you mommy. Daddy told Killan and me to take care of you?” he says innocently his hand rubbing my cheek.

“He did?” I ask hopefully. “When?

“Yesterday when he took us to school. He also promised to bring back lots of gifts.” Nillan was excited at the thought of gifts.

”What exactly did daddy tell you Nillan?” I ask. If Nillan and Killan knew about all this, how come I was clueless. Had  I known and forgotten about it. It may have crossed my mind. But still.

“Daddy said he’d gone for a while on a trip…”

“And Marissa?”

Nillan shrugs in reply, “I saw her packing her big bag yesterday, when I went to kiss her goodbye,” he says innocently.

“Did you see daddy pack too?”

“No Mommy. Did they go on the trip together?” he asks and I can’t help but shrug. His question so profound but terribly wounding. Lawrence was gone, Marissa too. I didn’t know what to make off their disappearance. Or of Lawrence’s word.

The note sat idly besides the sink. I check the calendar but nothing stands out. We always highlighted days we'd be gone or be busy.

Some of Lawrence’s clothes were gone from our closet. Raising more questions than answers. Marissa bedroom also lay bare, all her belongings gone. That had to be a clue. Putting two plus two gave me an answer that was improbable. One that I refuse to believe.

My husband couldn’t have possibly run away from our marriage, our children. My Lawrence…eloping with our son’s nanny? Fifteen years of our marriage going done the drain for this.

It was impossible. Lawrence and I were in love. A well working unit, with no cogs. We never experienced any huge marital troubles in our marriage that would result in this. Save the fact that Jesus had turned into a deserting, cheating and cowardly bastard overnight. I shut my eyes tightly willing myself to wake up from this horrid nightmare.

Without knowing tears roll down my cheek and Nillan thumb slowly wipes away them gently. His gesture so tender I can’t help but sob even more. I pull Nillan into a hug holding into him tightly scared that he too would disappear like Lawrence had.

“Don’t cry Mommy. I’ll take care of you. I promised daddy I would,” he says patting the back of my head, “I love you.”

“I love you too Nillan,” I reply pulling back. Setting him down Nillan runs off to brush his teeth but not before planting a sweet kiss on my cheek.

Now it made sense, the empty closet space in our bedroom and Marissa’s room. Those two had gone away together. Why? I didn’t know. It’s the million dollar question that has no answer.

Finding that answer would wait, I pick up the phone and dial my brother’s number. Kane answers after a few rings, “Morning Kane? Could you come pick us up please? I need to get the twins to school.”

“Your car?” he asks gruffly. It was obvious I’d woken him up.

“It’s indisposed at the moment,” I reply leaning against the counter.

“And Lawrence?” he questions. From the ruffling I hear over the phone I can tell he’s dressing up. "Can't he take you and the kids."

“He’s gone,” I reply sniffing the tears back.

“What do…you mean?”

“Please come Kane. I really need you right now,” Is all I say before cutting off the house phone. Tiny steps come rushing down, Nillan and Killan racing.

“I’m the first one,” Killan says dancing triumphantly around Nillan, “I am the winner and you are a big loser…”

“Shut up Killan!” Nillan cuts angrily stomping off to pick his bag.

“Loser,” Killan calls but the glare I serve him makes him immediately apologize to his brother. He also picks up his school bag and stands next to his brother. Looking at them I feel a fresh wave of tears, they’d grown up so fast.

“Mommy aren’t we leaving?”

“We are. Uncle Kane is coming to pick us up,” I reply moving to get my coat.

“Oh. I thought it was Rain,” Killan says removing his bag pack, “I really love her car.”

As he swings his iron man bag pack, I remember and groan, “Come on. Up! Come sit up here,” I say escorting them to back to the table. The boys look confused but listen to me. Taking both their bags I remove their homework book. I’d totally forgotten they hadn’t done it having fallen asleep.

“Mommy what are we doing?” they ask as I set their books before them.

“You need to do your homework,” I say hastily opening the pages. Kane would arrive anytime soon. The twins laugh and stare at me. 

“Mommy…we already did our homework,” Killan says through his giggles.

“When?”

“Rain helped us do it,” Killan says laughing.

“Really?” I ask looking at their books, truth be told they had done it. I let out a sigh relieved the work was done. I smile and put the books back. Ms. Stourton had really outdone herself. I can’t help but smile. I need to thank her in some way.

Rinsing the dishes for breakfast I set them in the dishwasher before we make our way outside. The sun greets us warmly that I can’t help but revel in the warmth as it caresses my skins. They boys stand beside me going about their usual bickering.

“Morning Karey,” my neighbor Nicole greets. Looking out I see her walking up the driveway his dog in leash and picks up the newspaper tossed in the pathway. The boys excitedly run towards the German shepherd and start playing with it.

“Hello Nicole. How’s your morning?” I ask courteously, this was our routine every once in a while. We’d been neighbors for almost a decade. I’d seen her daughter grow and she’d been with me while I gave birth to the twins. Her dog whiskers barks at a butterfly getting on his hinds in attempt to catch it and the boys break out in laughter. “Boys…where’s your manners.”

“Good morning Mrs. Ralph,” they say in unison before concentrating on the dog.

“Oh…you are so charming I could eat you up…I see you are the one with the boys today?”

“Yeah”

“I haven’t seen Mr. Lakewood this morning. Is everything alright?” she says handing me the paper. I toss it on the porch sofa and turn to converse with her.

“Yes. Just out of town…”

“Oh…yes. I saw him leave yesterday around noon.” Just then my brother’s pick-up hoots drawing our attention.

“I’m afraid but we have to go. Have a nice day Nicole. Boys come on your uncle’s here,” I say waving at her. Nicole and her dog make their way down the driveway and she gives my brother a small wave before heading down the road for her morning walk.

They boys excitedly chart with their uncle as he tells them stories of his hero life. He was a fire fighter and almost every time he was with the boys Kane managed to bedazzle them with tales of his recent rescues. Killan goes on about Ms. Stourton’s car and how she’d picked us up and brought them the tastiest chicken nuggets. How pretty and funny she was. Killan was completely smitten by her. At the news Kane casts me a look of worry but concentrates on the boys.

We make it to school and I drop them promising Mr. Moses I’d be in time to pick them up.

“So where’s Lawrence?” he asks on the way to the University.

“He left,”

“That’s a pretty sketchy answer Karey. Where did he go to,” he asks cautiously noting the anger in my entire being.

“Apparently Lawrence couldn’t do 'it' anymore so he picked the easy way out. He’s gone Kane,” I say incredulously. As light mattered I made it be, it hurt. It was like my heart was being ripped piece by piece. Kane’s hand follows on my shoulder rubbing it consolingly.

“Huh?”

“I think Lawrence ran off with Marissa…”

“That f*****g bastard. I’ll f*****g dismember him,” he replies through gritted teeth. Looking at him I see the veins popping immensely. He was enraged beyond doubt but so was I.

15 long years. Down the f*****g drain.