Rising from the Ashes

Nothing is the same

Chapter 19

Crimson’s pov

Nothing has been the same since Regina’s 18th birthday. I am upset all of the time, and I really don’t know where I want to be. I stayed at Tamara’s for a week, we have always had a good relationship, but I know she feels I should have done more for Regina.

I wanted to leave and take Regina far away when I saw how everyone was acting towards her, but it also wouldn’t have been fair on the rest of my children. I also didn’t want anyone to have to take sides or choose which parent they wanted to stay with.

I loved Ty as well, I wasn’t exactly happy with the way he was acting or how he would never listen to my opinion on it. I didn’t realise how bad things were, though. I was too busy trying to make sure that everyone was fine that I didn’t notice what Regina was going through.

As a mother, there is no excuse for letting down your child so badly, I was lucky that she still wanted to be in my life. If I had known how badly she was treated, I would have rejected Ty and left, probably taken Tamara with me.

I know Sophia and Julius would have wanted to stay, but I could have made things better for everyone if I had left, and maybe things wouldn’t have escalated in the way they did. I have a lot of disappointment in many people, including myself.

I wasn’t as close to my brother and dad anymore, it hurt because we had always been so close, but they had taken Ty’s side over mine and wouldn't listen to Regina or my point of view on things and it hurt me a lot. It also hurt my mum and best friend that their mates didn’t listen to them either.

I had pretty much no relationship now with my ranked members. At one point, I thought I was just as close to my beta and gamma females, Nora and Natasha as I was to Katya. We had shared everything, even having our first children at the same time.

Nora had straight away accepted everything that Ty and her mate said. I guess she will be feeling especially regretful now knowing that Sophia had been her sons mate and deemed him not good enough for her, choosing to trick him instead of rejecting him.

Natasha was a bit more complicated, she listened and sympathized with me, never treated Regina differently, and I know she thought that there was more going on than was made out, and that Regina was much more innocent than everyone believed.

The problem was she would only show that side in private. As soon as anyone was around, she would ignore Regina. She would also happily sit around as people said awful things about Regina and laughed at me for still supporting her.

She didn’t want to have problems with her mate, so doing the right thing wasn’t an option she allowed herself. She was a coward in public and obviously didn’t value our friendship as much as I had.

Now she thinks that we can still be as close as she was never the one to treat Regina badly, not realising that by staying quiet it was like an acceptance to their views and that hurt both Regina and I that she would only stick up for us in private, as if she was playing both sides.

Nora, on the other hand, thought that an apology and the fact that one of her children suffered at the hands of Sophia like Regina did makes us even and we can relate with each other. It doesn’t, I remember every vile word she said about her and how ridiculous I was for supporting her.

Our people, what a joke, that is. I did everything I could to improve their lives with schools, childcare, and paid support for further education. Still they all talked and laughed behind my back, about how silly I was and how awful my child was.

I gave them everything I could as Queen, but at the end of the day, all they cared about was their king and following along with his views. It didn’t matter what I did for them. They thought my opinions were less important or believable than Ty’s.

They, like everyone else, thought an apology made everything right. Now I know that everyone is sorry, about that I have no doubt, but it is too little too late. I have no enthusiasm to be Queen any longer, and I can not wait for Julius to take over.

That isn’t likely to happen soon he is too depressed about the sister he never spoke to and the fact that Raine hasn’t accepted him fully yet. I hope they work it out. I don’t want him suffering like Regina did, even if he brought it on himself.

I have already risked my relationship with her once by trying to speak on their behalf to her when I was in the Underworld. She made it clear she would cut me off if I persisted in speaking up for them, and to be honest, they don’t deserve it.

I am so sick of everyone wanting me to fix their sh.it. When they have spent years ignoring what I have to say, I have had enough. I am actually proud of Regina for standing up to me and shutting me down. She is right she shouldn’t have to speak to and forgive everyone who has hurt her, and neither should I.

I have called everyone here for a little chat, Tamara is in full support of it. She thinks it is about time everyone heard it straight.

She has given her father a chance, and they are slowly getting closer. She has told him that she won’t play go between between him and Regina. She wants to protect what progress she had made with Regina and won’t let her dad or anyone affect their relationship again.

I was proud that she stuck up for herself and her sister. Her voice has been silenced too long by people in the family. It is about time we were heard, and I won’t let her, Regina, or myself be pushed around or silenced any longer.

I am already upset enough at Ty for still putting all his efforts into Sophia when the truth came out and that he didn’t even try to reach out to Regina. Would she have spoken to him? Not very fu.cking likely. Should he have still tried? Absofu.ckinglutely.

“Right I have gotten everyone here to finally say my piece, and I would like you all to stay quiet while I do it” I said, taking the floor as everyone was looking at me.

“I have more than a few things to say to you all. First off, I no longer want to be Queen. I will keep things running, but honestly after the way I have been treated by the people and those closest to me who is supposed to support me in my role I no longer have the energy to continue, so I hope that Julius will take over soon” I say, they go to protest but I silence them by raising my hand.

“I will no longer be placed in the middle. Before, it was because you were questioning my loyalty to Regina, and now it is to try and bridge the gap between you. I won’t do it because I won’t lose my daughter because of all of you” I say strongly as they grumble.

“We have tried to reach out” Nora complains.

“I said I didn’t want to hear it. We were close, almost like sisters, and you persecuted my child and insulted me to my face. You and Natasha were supposed to be my ranked members, and you showed me just how little you cared by not listening to me and taking his side” I said, pointing at Ty.

“That’s not fair, Crimson. I always listened when you wanted to talk” Natasha says sadly.

“Yes you did and you pretended to be on my side and Regina’s, but you would sit there in silence while we were verbally torn apart making them all believe you agreed with them, hurting Regina more because she couldn’t understand why her auntie who was nice to her was now ignoring her and letting everyone hurt her” I say as she looks down in shame.

“My father, brother, mate, son, Beta’s, gamma’s, have not stood by my side in years. You are all sorry now, but don’t tell me you would have stopped hating Regina or talking about me if Sophia didn’t get found out, because I know that would be a lie” at this point my anger is close to boiling over.

“Regina wants nothing to do with any of you, and you will respect that just like she did from a fu.cking toddler. Knowing, even then, it was better to stay out of the way than be around any of you. Just because you now want her there doesn’t mean she should be”.

“We just want a chance” dad says sadly.

“So did she, but for at least 13 years, none of you gave her that grace. She has to see a fu.cking therapist as you all scre.wed her up so much. Now she is getting better, you won’t ruin it for her, her life has been bad enough, she deserves to finally be happy. If you are not happy about it, I don’t have a problem rejecting any of you and moving away” I tell them, looking each of them in the eye.