Chapter 2: A Little Donation Goes A Long Way
1465 Words
I couldn't believe I was doing this. That I was standing there in front of this large statue of a man, about to ask him for an impossible favor.
He looked down at the child. Of course, he’d have questions; her skin wasn’t extremely fair. His was, though, smooth, and slightly pinched against his sculpted and rugged features. Jasmine was more like a toffee, maybe a little lighter with only a little pinch.
As I stood there looking into his crazy blue eyes, and that ginger red hair….
“I didn’t hear you right. I know I didn’t.”
His deep, and softly accented voice forced me to stop my silent comparisons. I swallowed my fear.
“You did, but I can explain, if you let me.”
He glanced down at Jasmine again. I could tell that she was the only reason that he had not turned his back on me yet. I suppose I should be grateful, but it didn’t give me much hope that he’d help.
“You have two minutes. And that is only because I feel sorry for your daughter.”
“In August of last year, I…went to a donor and…I had a procedure done, called Intrauterine Semination.” As soon as I said this, his eyes lifted to the ceiling, and his jaw clenched. “I chose a donor…that only had…one…um…donation.” There was no other way to describe it. Not appropriately, anyway. “I’ve fallen on hard times recently.”
“And so now, you expect me to pick up where you left off? Or-no, no, I’m sure you want me to take care of you both. Is that it?!” He laughed, and I could tell that it was not an amused one. “You are off your bloody rocker, if you think that I would take on a responsibility that I didn’t even sign up for!”
“No, that’s not it. I’m not asking you to-”
“Then why are you here? What? You want money? You want me to pay you to keep quiet because you made a stupid decision?!”
“No-that-that’s not-I’m only here for her!” I exclaimed desperately. “I kno-I know I have no right to ask but I just. I’m only asking-no begging, that you take her in until I can get the money to get us back on track! I-you don’t have to have anything to do with her. I-you can get a nanny! Or-I don’t-”
“You don’t even know me!” he snapped. “What kind of mother are you, to drop a child on someone that you don’t even know! You have no idea what I’d do to her once you hand her off! You are a psycho, and a horrible mother.”
Why was it that he had to point out how crazy this idea was? He was right…I was a horrible mother. “I…I’m sorry, I jus-”
“If you really care about that child, take her to the cps building or wherever the bloody hell you take orphans. I will not be paying for your screw up.” he scoffed. “The only reason that I am not calling the police on you right now…is because I don’t think you’re a bad person. You obviously care about the kid, but I have nothing to do with that, and I want nothing to do with it, and I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, but you need to get help.”
He was right.
I backed away from his door. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry to have bothered you. Thank you…for your time.”
As I turned back, it was almost like Jasmine knew that something bad had just happened. She began to wail in my arms. And my tears were not far behind.
“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay. We’ll…we’ll get through this. Somehow.”
Feeling defeated, I walked away, and rushed down the hall and back down the stairs. I would have taken the elevator because, who cares at this point, right? Unfortunately, I still did. The girl was so kind and courteous. I didn’t want her to know that I lied about my true intentions. I only hoped that she hadn’t gone to check in on me.
I pushed open the door and, thankfully, the coast was clear. I walked out of the front, nodding to the young woman, who gave me a concerned look.
“Sorry. It went up her back. Babies, you know.” I chuckled. “Gotta love ‘em.”
“I can imagine the mess.” she said.
“Oh, no worries. Bathroom is clean. As if I was never there. Have a good evening.”
I turned tail and fought every instinct to run out of there with my baby in my arms, crying my eyes out. How could I have been so stupid to think that some stranger would help me? Whether he was Jasmine's father or not.
I rushed outside just as a loud thunderous sound swept across the sky. The lightning followed shortly after.
I’ve always loved rainy days, but on this night, I couldn't help but feel like this aggressive deluge mirrored the downpour of my luck…of Jasmine’s luck, perfectly.
Already downtrodden, the ache of rejection was weighing me down even further with every step that I took. Between the blurring tears and the heavy rain there was no distinction, but one for me, and that was hopelessness.
I bundled Jasmine up and tried a steady jog to the car, as I didn’t want her getting sick because I was too sad to rush to the car.
I finally got to the car and decided that instead of moving right away, I would just sit there and hold my baby in my arms. I needed the comfort and I needed to hold on to her for as long as I could as reality slowly set in…I would have to do the last thing that I ever wanted to do. I…would have to give my baby up.
A whimper of sadness escaped me as I stumbled to the car, and started for the door.
“Hey!
In the back of my distraught mind, I thought I heard someone’s voice in the background of everything that was going on, but it was probably not me that he or she was talking to.
“Hey wait! Journee Woods! Hey!”
It was me that…he was talking to. It…it couldn't be who I thought…
I turned around and there he was with an umbrella. I stumbled back against the door of my car as he approached, protecting me and Jasmine from the deluge with his large navy blue umbrella.
On second thought, I quickly placed Jasmine in the car. I didn’t want to have her outside for this long a time. I strapped her in and shut the door. When I turned around, I saw that he was looking clearly into my window.
I knew he saw the mounds of clothing, bags and all, in the backseat next to Jasmine’s car seat. I tried to keep the soap hidden, but even that was on display for him to see. I quickly stepped in front of the embarrassing scene, but it was like he was staring right through me. As if he was waiting for me to explain. So, finally, I begrudgingly confessed.
“It’s all that I have left…the last of what I own, actually.”
“You’re not staying with me.” He said without provocation, as I never planned to ask such an asinine favor. Though…I guess it wasn't worse than what I asked for. Was it? Probably was.
“I wasn’t going to ask you to-”
He lifted his hand to shush me before I could finish. I stopped, reluctantly. Then he started again. “I will put you up, but, in a hotel for a few days. Give you time to figure out what it is that you need to do for that child. Because this…this is no way to live.”
His words stung, making me feel even guiltier than I already did. He was right though.
“Get in the car. I’m assuming, since you’ve probably been waiting here for me to get home, that you know what sort of car I drive.”
He was right. Again, my silence confirmed that he was right.
“Get in the car,” he demanded with annoyance in his voice. “You’ll follow me there.”
He stood there with the umbrella over me and waited for me to get in, then he jogged off and out of the rain.
“Well, Jasmine," I sighed. "It’s not a total bust.”
- Writer
