Anhedonia

He Ain't God

"If you can't choose, then just get them both, Jeremy."

"I can take both?" The eyes of the four year old boy flickered when Jerry let him take two kinds of flowers. He was torn between tulips and lily and has been trying to decide for almost 10 minutes what to choose.

Jerry finds it cute at first, but since he needed to go home by 3 because he still have a zoom meeting with his employees in Korea, he needed to rush the kid.

"Of course, everything you want."

"Okay then, but what colour should I take?" Jeremy asked again. Jerry groaned gutturally like he was a wild animal who got hurt.

"Dude, just picked white and purple."

"Is that good to combine?"

"Yes." The florist chimes in since she was also watching the two for almost 10 minutes since they entered her shop.

"Oh okay." Jeremy shrugged his little shoulders. "Can I have one bouquet with Tulips and lily."

Jerry smiled apologetically to the florist but the latter just returned him the smile as she started to prepare the bouquet of flowers.

After another 15 minutes, the flowers came out as well as expected and Jeremy's eyes showed how happy he was when he saw them.

"Thank you so much." Jerry paid the florist and took the bouquet.

"I'm going to carry that." Jeremy stretched his short arms to Jerry, taking it from him.

"Okay then, just be careful not to ruin it." Jerry sighed as he handed the flowers to the kid.

They both leave the flower shop and Jerry makes sure the kid is sitting comfortably in the shotgun seat and buckles his seatbelt around his body.

"Will she like it?" Jeremy asked while staring at the bouquet in his hands.

"Of course, she loves everything that comes from you." Jerry replied, turning on the engine and drove off.

Traffic in Auckland was really common and it always made Jerry so frustrated, but what can he do but to follow traffic rules. He turned the stereo on and frowned when Jayvee's song played so he turned it off again and just used his playlist to play some music, while Jeremy busied himself admiring the flowers. He's too excited to reach home so he could give it to his mom.

After 35 minutes, they finally reached their destination, Jeremy didn't wait for Jerry to help him out of the car. He quickly jumped off and ran inside the house, carrying the bouquet of flowers. Jerry could only shake his head but was still smiling.

"Mommy, we're home!" The kid shouted from the door and as he stepped inside the house, Hannah's head popped out from the kitchen door. "Mommy!"

"Hey, how's your day?" Hannah smiled as she stepped out and spread her arms.

"Mom, for you!" The kid handed the flowers with a sheepish smile on his lips. "I hope you like it."

"I love it, honey." Hannah's smile grew wider as she pulled his son towards him and engulfed him tightly then she brought her head back and showered the kid with kisses all over his face, which made Jeremy giggled nonstop.

"Hey, what are you doing down here?" Jerry asked, looking down at Hannah with worry.

Hannah's exhausted eyes darted up to Jerry. "I got bored, so I decided to prepare some snacks for the two of you."

"You should've waited for me if you're that hungry." Jerry made a hissing sound, not because he's mad, but because he was so worried for the woman. "Come here." He tugged Hannah up and kissed the side of her head. "You should go back to bed, I'll just bring it up."

"We should eat at the table, not in the room." Hannah rolled her eyes playfully and she tugged Jerry with her to the table, pushing the guy's shoulder so he could sit, then Hannah picked up his son and put him in one chair before sitting next to him. "Let's eat."

"Next time, if you need something, just tell me, okay?" Jerry still insisted.

"I'm fine, Jerry. No need to worry about me that much."

"Please, don't be stubborn."

"I won't, this will be the last." Hannah smiled at him toothily which made Jerry's heart melt and scared at the same time.

Jerry stared at Hannah for who knows how long, he was just watching them two with a small smile on his lips. The way Jeremy will giggle at Hannah's kisses at him and how Hannah will laugh loudly every time Jeremy will make a face at her.

"Do you want to walk in the park?" Jerry suddenly asked.

"Let's go to the park!" Jeremy exclaimed.

"You still have a meeting."

"Don't worry about it, I can reschedule it tomorrow." Jerry waved his hand dismissively. Hannah's lips slowly stretched out and she nodded her head. "Finish your food then let's go take a walk."

After finishing their food, Jerry brought the kid to his room so he could change his clothes but Jeremy refused, telling Jerry that he could do it alone because he's a big boy now. Jerry could only smile and shook his head before leaving the kid. Then he proceeded to the room next door.

"Are you okay?" He asked while walking towards the bed where Hannah was sitting on the edge of it.

"Yeah, I just got a little tired from all the preparation of those snacks." She smiled to assure the guy.

"Let's just cancel—."

"No, Jeremy was so excited to go to the park, let's not make him upset." Hannah interrupted him.

"Okay then, but if you're tired, let me know."

"Thank you so much." Hannah said, leaning her body to Jerry and lay her head on his shoulder. Jerry wrapped his arms around Hannah's body and kissed the latter's forehead.

"I love you." Jerry mumbled and Hannah smiled at that, reshuffling her position and buried her face at the crook of Jerry's neck.

"Mom, are you okay?" Jeremy asked from the doorway, looking at Hannah worriedly.

"I'm fine, honey. Are you ready?" Hannah pulled a forced smile on her lips so her son would not be so worried about her. Jeremy smiled toothily and nodded his head vigorously.

"Great, let's go!" Jerry exclaimed to ease the atmosphere as he stood up and helped Hannah.

When they got out of the house, Jerry made sure that Hannah was sitting comfortably in the shotgun, kissing her forehead before shutting the door. Then he proceeded to Jeremy, making sure that he was safe at the backseat of the car.

Jerry drove to the nearest park inside the exclusive subdivision where he bought his first house in New Zealand for Jeremy and Hannah. He pulled the car onto the parking lot and he first helped Jeremy to get out of the car then next Hannah.

The three of them walked hand in hand and sat on the bench. Jeremy was so eager to play with the other kids. "Mom, can I play with them?"

"Go on sweetie, but be careful okay?"

"Thank you!" Jeremy cheered, kissing her mom on her both cheeks carefully and did the same to Jerry before running towards the field where he immediately blends in along with the other kids.

"He's growing so fast." Hannah smiled while looking at his son.

"Yeah, and he's growing nice."

"As he should and you're always there to guide him which helps him a lot to grow up a nice kid." Hannah lay her head onto Jerry's shoulder exhaustedly while still watching her son from their spot. "You are the perfect Dad for him, Jerry."

"You think so?" Jerry chuckled.

"Yeah, and I don't have to worry about him when I'm gone because I know you'll be there for him to take care of my son."

Jerry froze on his seat and Hannah felt his body suddenly tensed. She wrapped her arms around Jerry's and squeezed it lightly. Then she slowly brought her head up to look at the guy.

Jerry turned his head to look back at the woman and his heart sank at the sight. Hannah's face is pale as well as her lips. Lipstick was the only thing that could give colour to them, there are dark circles sitting under her eyes and the wind blew some of her hair strands that's left in her head, peeking under her bonnet.

"Don't say that, you'll be fine as long as we're following what the doctor said." Jerry's voice was so soothing that could make Hannah sleep for how calm it is and she's fighting to close her eyes. She lay her head down again with Jerry's arm snaked around her waist.

"Last month, the doctor said that I only have one month, Jerry."

"He ain't God." Jerry scoffed.

Hannah giggled at that, slapping Jerry's arm but she's too weak to do that so she just put it on top of Jerry's hand on his lap.

"Promise me that you'll take care of him."

"I will." Jerry replied, kissing Hannah's head for the umpteenth time.

"I love you too, Jerry." Hannah mumbled while her eyes were on his son, with a smile on her lips, Hannah's eyes finally fluttered and her head slowly falling but Jerry held it. His tears streamed down as his shoulders shook violently.

"Why are you crying?" Jeremy asked when he saw Jerry's tears continuously streaming down on his face. Jerry couldn't speak and answer the kid's question. Jeremy turned to his mom and he smiled sadly, his tears fell down as well and sat next to his mom and hugged Hannah so tightly. The two cried their heart's out as Hannah's heart stopped beating.

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