Anhedonia

Even If It Takes A Year

"No one's going to leave." There was a firm voice coming from the main door and Jerry's grandfather appeared, still in his wheelchair with Merly behind him.

Rosie stopped on her tracks as well as the two boys because she's holding them both, who were surprised to see the old man for the first time. Rosie immediately bowed and even if the kids were confused, they still copied her and bowed their bodies in 90 degrees to greet the elders.

"Grandpa." Jerry called from the top of the stairs.

"Are these my great-grandsons?" Jiyong asked, ignoring his grandson and Rosie just nodded her head because she doesn't trust her voice. "Oh look at them Merly, they looked so adorable!"

Jerry's mom just nodded her head a little and was not really interested in the kids because she really hoped that they would arrive late so Rosie could've left the house.

"Come here and give your old man a hug." Jiyong spread his arms and the kids approached him reluctantly. "Don't be shy." He encouraged them and the kids finally gave in, hugging the old man. "It was nice to finally meet you two."

"Grandpa." Jerry called again, running his way down to greet the elder with a bow and kissed his mom's cheek. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here because I want to talk to you and luckily got here before your soon to be wife leaves." He scoffed, slapping Jerry's leg. "What happened here?"

"N-nothing." Jerry lied, looking away.

"If it's nothing, then Rosie sweetheart, take the kids upstairs and I'll just have a talk with Jerry." The old man said. Rosie was a bit hesitant but when Jiyong nodded his head at her, she smiled and bowed again before taking the kids upstairs.

"Dad, you shouldn't meddle with their issue." Merly said when Rosie was far from their earshot.

"Jerry said that nothing happens here, so what issue are you talking about?"

"He's right mom, they were just going to visit the Manoban." Jerry smiled nervously and he took over his mom's position and pushed his grandpa inside the house. "So what do you wanna talk about?"

"About the wedding."

"Grandpa." Jerry frowned but he quickly put on a neutral face when he walked around in front of the old man. "Why are you pushing this so hard? I cannot even remember her nor my feelings about her. I don't even know if I really have feelings towards her."

"You do, son." Jiyong said with certainty in his voice, not trying to convince Jerry though, but he knows that Jerry is madly in love with the young lady.

"I don't." Jerry said, pointing to his chest. "I couldn't find her here."

"Because you are not trying. You know the saying, right? The brain might forget, but not the heart."

"That's not applicable in any situation, if I do have feelings for her, then why can't I feel it?"

"Let's not force him to feel anything, Dad." Merly chimes in.

"Merly, why don't you make us a coffee?" The old man ordered and Merly knew that it was his way to rid her off. She let out a sharp breath before leaving the two. "Sit here, son. I would like to tell you a story." The old man tapped the single couch next to him and Jerry obliged. "Long years ago, me, Chaem and Hay, back in our college years, made a deal." He started, looking ahead of him with a smile on his lips that caused the traces of old age to appear on his face. He stared into nothingness like he could see his life back then with his two best friends.

"What deal?" Jerry asked curiously.

"That if we have kids, they are bound to marry each other. Your father was born first, then Chitthip Manoban. Their wedding was already planned, but on the day of their wedding, your mom came out and told everyone that she's carrying you so the wedding was called off. We can't marry Chitthip and Jiyoo as they were both women so we decided to let our grandkids continue that deal."

"And that's us, right?" Jerry chuckled dryly. "Why didn't you arrange a marriage between me and Hayley?"

"Hay didn't want you as you are also a Kim, she wants Chaem's grandson so there could still be a tight bond with the Manoban group."

"That's absurd!"

"It's not."

"Then why does Rosie have to do with any of our families? She's not one of us, she's not also a Manoban—."

"Before I met your grandmother." The old man interrupted his grandson for his upcoming tantrums. "I met Rosie's grandmother, she's a close friend of Chaem." He continued, smiling sadly as he looked back again into nothingness. Do you know that Rosie's grandmother was my first love?"

"What kind of fuckery happened in your days?" Jerry scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I never got a chance to confess to her as she had a boyfriend at that time and got pregnant with Mason."

"Oh, I get it. You are forcing me to marry Rosie because you didn't have a chance to be her grandmother? Grandpa, you're being unreasonable now."

The old man just chuckled and tapped Jerry's lap softly. "I'm not forcing you to marry her, I just don't want you to make the same mistake you did 9 years ago."

"You guys keep telling me about what happened long years ago, aren't you getting tired? Because I am, I'm tired of hearing the same bullshit since I woke up from a coma!"

"Liam and Hayley loved each other so much, Jerry. And you supported them all throughout their marriage, since day one of their meetup, you were there and that's when you started dating Rosie. I remember that you told me about her a lot, and I know that time you were just forcing yourself to avert your feelings to others so you could forget Hayley." Jiyong said, which made Jerry's forehead furrowed. "Until one day, you came to me and told me that you love her, so much that you wanted to marry her."

"I did that?"

"Yes." Jiyong replied, turning his head first then his eyes. "Give me at least 3 months."

"3 months for what?"

"Find her there." The old man pointed at Jerry's chest. "If you didn't find her, then I will call the wedding off on my own." He said.

"Deal." Jerry extended his arm and they sealed it with a handshake, not knowing that Merly heard everything and she already made a plan on her head.

____

Some of the things seem back to normal. Jerry started working again in the biggest company in Seoul. Rosie went back to teaching in SNU. The adoption papers of Jeremy have been legalized and he's now a Kim. Liam is still unaware of Jerry's feelings towards his wife. Hayley, on the other hand, was still distant to Jerry to respect Rosie. Juhyun and Seul-ki started teaching again after all the incident happened. Jayvee was already in London while Jared was still hiding.

All seems fine, but not inside Rosie and Jerry's house, wherein the latter would always go home late and go to work while everyone is still asleep. The same routine continued for two weeks.

Rosie will just keep shrugging it off because she was more focused on the boys. She didn't know about the deal, no one knows except Jiyong and Jerry and Merly.

"I can't believe that you really think that this is acceptable." Jerry three the folder on the floor and his employees immediately backed away from his table as he stood up. "I need new designs, fresh ideas and not these crappy and recycled designs!"

"But Sir—."

"But what?! That I need to settle for this crappy s**t?! You—." Jerry was interrupted when his phone rang, he looked down and saw Rosie's name on the screen. He groaned and planned not to answer it as he looked back to his employees but it's ringing nonstop. "Just make another one and please, don't you guys ever enter my office unless you are sure that it is worth presenting to me." He said and waved his hand dismissively.

He grabbed his phone and walked towards the glass wall and looked at the city. "What?" He answered coldly.

"We have dinner with the squad tonight."

"And?"

"I already told you about this last night, and we're already waiting for you. So where are you?" Rosie asked calmly even if Jerry has been treating her like s**t, well, not as bad as how Jayvee treated her before. Jerry's treatment towards her is more like she doesn't exist at all or even the kids.

"I still have a dinner meeting, just go and take the kids with you."

"Okay then." Rosie replied and hung up.

Jerry was dumbfounded but couldn't complain nonetheless and he continued his work. He finished his dinner meeting at almost 9 in the evening, then he went back to his office. He sat on his swivel chair and stared on his table with nothing to do at all since he had already finished all his paperwork.

He glanced at his watch, it's still too early for him to go home just like his usual arrival. His eyes shifted to his phone when it lit up after the notification and Hayley's face greeted him.

He smiled sadly before picking up his phone and leaned back on his chair. "I miss you, my turtle rabbit." He mumbled while stroking the phone screen and accidentally opened the message he received. It was from Rosie, telling him that they won't be able to go home since it was late and the boys were already sleeping.

He quickly typed an 'okay' and sent it before he stood up, grabbed his coat and left his office. It only took 15 minutes before he arrived at their house and the silence greeted him.

He likes it, he loves it rather. He wanted to have some peace with himself and preferred a cold bottle of beer while watching the city lights on the balcony.

After he finished two bottles and opened another one, his phone rang and he glanced at it. Rosie is calling again but this time, Jerry didn't answer and declined the call but made sure that he sent a message that he's already at home so the woman doesn't have to worry.

Rosie has been nice towards him even if he treated her the opposite way. And that made Jerry more annoyed so he made sure that they wouldn't meet even if they were living on one roof but sleeping in separate rooms.

There's no day that Rosie would call him just to always check on him and make sure that he's taking his medicine and don't skip meals. She was so nice to him but won't get anything in return.

Jerry put his hand on his chest and he chuckled. "3 months huh?" He said. "Even if it takes a year, I will never find her here because she has never been here." He laughed bitterly as he stood up and walked back inside his room to get another beer in the kitchen. When he got out of the door, his eyes landed at the door in front of his room.

It's Rosie's room, next to it is Akiro then across is Jeremy's room. He has never been in those rooms because he never tried to get in them until now. He just saw himself entering the room across from him. He flicked the light on and was greeted with a frame just right above the headboard.

It was a wedding picture of Liam and Hayley, but it's a group photo. On Liam's side was Seul-ki and another woman that he couldn't remember who it was, then on Hayley's side, he was there and Rosie, hugging each other with a wide and genuine smile on their lips.

Jerry walked forward and looked at the other frame on the shelf. There were a lot of picture frames in them, mostly him and Rosie and Akiro's baby pictures.

He picked up a certain frame where they are in the beach, faces leaned against each other, wearing those same genuine and happy smiles with Rosie showing her ring finger to the camera. Then Jerry looked around again, there were more frames on the other shelf. He looked at it one by one in disbelief. None of them he could remember until he got on the last picture frame.

It was a picture in some high place with the only two of them in the middle of the night, sitting in the hood of Jerry's car. The bright stars in the overcast sky, the moon hiding behind the sea of clouds but enough to illuminate the place to capture the perfect photo of them. Rosie was looking at the camera lens while Jerry was staring at Rosie and he could see in his eyes the overflowing love for the woman he was staring at at that time.

His heart suddenly reacted, thudding so loud that it even rings behind his ear and he clutched his chest. Then he started to feel fuzzy, his eyes became blurry. He tried to leave the room but he couldn't see clearly and his surroundings became more blurry as his head started pounding hard and he could feel excruciating pain.

He's about to pass out, he gripped the edge of the door tightly, like his life depends on it. Then he shut his eyes tightly, but instead of darkness, memories started to flash through his head.

"Jerry!" A very familiar voice called his name. Jerry opened his eyes but couldn't see the woman's face. "What's going on?!"

"Ha—." Jerry didn't have the chance to finish calling the name of the woman as he passed out and his body fell on the floor with heavy thud.

_________