Alpha's Solace (Black Moon Saga Book 1)

Confessions in the Night

That night, the howling of wolves can be heard from somewhere nearby, and the sound wakes Kylie. She is snuggled up to the warm comfort of Adam’s bare chest, but instead of the soft snoring she has gotten used to in the nights they’ve spent together, he is already awake and seems to be staring at the ceiling. He doesn’t notice her open eyes for a few moments, so she takes the opportunity to admire his face in the moonlight without his knowing, while he continues to slowly and gently stroke her shoulder with his thumb.

Finally, his gaze returns to her face and he notices she is alert and smiling up at him. “Hey you,” he croaks out in a voice husky with sleep. “Did the wolves wake you?”

“They did. It’s kind of beautiful, isn’t it? Almost like music.”

He chuckles, never ceasing to be amazed at her perspective of the world. “Think so? Yeah, I suppose it is. It’s a lot louder out here in the woods than I realized.”

“I remember it from my childhood, so I guess you could say I’m used to it. It happens around every full moon.”

Adam knows the sound comes from the monthly pack meeting that occurs on the evening of the full moon, followed by the pack run through the woods. The run usually ends late in the night as the pack gathers in a clearing about a mile from the cabin they’re staying in, and the howling is just a natural side effect of having such a large group of werewolves in their wolf forms all riled up from an exhilarating run through their territory. What he never realized was what it would be like from an outsider’s perspective, or that the sound would carry this far.

“Did it ever scare you to listen to them so close?” he wonders, hoping that he and his pack had never inadvertently terrorized this family without even thinking.

“Nah. Well, maybe when I was really little, but I don’t remember being scared. Curious mostly. I’ve always loved wolves, but Papa would never let me get close to any of them. He always said them howling through the night is just their nature and we were in no danger as long as we stayed inside. You can imagine how excited I was when I realized that moving into town actually made it so I could get closer to them because of the tamed ones around there.” She props herself up on her elbow as a thought occurs to her. “Hey, do you think Kieran is one of those wolves out there? Or is it just wild ones?”

This could be your opening to tell her, Kieran prompts, having grown even more restless since learning that their mate is probably a werewolf.

I know, Adam acknowledges. But be patient and let’s see where this goes.

“I’m not sure,” Adam tells her cautiously. “Why do you wonder?”

“Because I kind of like the idea that he could be out there watching over us and keeping the wild wolves at bay. Or maybe I just like the idea that he might be close by and sniff us out and decide to come visit.”

Adam sighs with the weight of what he knows he needs to tell her, trying to decide if this is the right moment. “Kylie, I need to tell you something. It’s a big thing, so if you’re too tired we can do this in the morning.”

She notices the change in his demeanor and feels the importance of whatever is on his mind in the way his body tenses. “No, definitely now. I’m awake, plus I don’t think I’m going to sleep after you’ve said something like that.”

“Sorry, I just have to get it off my chest. It’s been weighing on me.” He sighs again and props himself up on the pillows into a half-sitting position.

She shifts around until she is sitting up completely, then takes his hand and looks him in the eye. “Is it about whatever you and Anya went outside to talk about privately? Did she tell you something about me?”

“You noticed that, then. I thought maybe Tian had you too distracted, but I should have known better. Nothing gets by you.” He pulls the hand he is holding to his lips for a gentle kiss, then places their hands in his lap. “Yes, it has some to do with things she told me.”

She takes a breath in, bracing for the worst. “I’m listening.”

“I don’t really even know how to tell you this. You’re going to think I’ve lost it.”

“I promise to hear you out and not jump immediately to the conclusion that you’re crazy,” she vows as she takes her hand to make a cross over her heart. “Now, out with it!”

He smiles at her attempt to lighten the mood, and then takes in a deep breath before blowing it out to release some tension. “Alright, well, I guess I could start by saying that Kieran isn’t going to come visit you while I’m here. It’s impossible.”

She takes advantage of the pause he leaves at the end of that statement to interject, “I thought you were on good terms with him, though. You even said he’s your favorite.”

“He is, but he can’t be here when I’m here because he’s part of me. We’re the same being.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means I’m a werewolf, Kylie, and Kieran is the wolf part of me.” He watches her eyes go wide with shock and feels her body shift away from him slightly but continues to explain, “You only get one or the other of us at a time. You can’t have both.” He notices that she seems to be looking at the bedspread with interest, and other than her initial reaction, she doesn’t seem to be responding to what he said. “Are you okay with this?” He asks as he reaches out for her hand in an attempt to regain her attention and close the distance between them.

She returns her gaze to his and gently squeezes his hand. “I understand the words you said but not how it could be true, but I did promise to hear you out and not go there, so okay. Let’s say I accept what you’re telling me. Tell me more. Make it make sense.”

“I know,” he says softly, “this is a lot. Up until now you’ve been told that things like werewolves are just myths or legends. But Kylie, you know me. Would I tell you something like this in the middle of the night if it weren’t true?”

“Yeah, see, that’s the part that gets me. Because no, you’re not that kind of person. But in this moment, you’re telling me I either have to accept that fairytales are true, or that the most reliable, dependable person I know is crazy. And honestly, I don’t like either option, but now that I’ve said it out loud the werewolf thing actually seems like the logical choice.” She laughs to herself for a moment, then continues in a somewhat elevated tone, “Did you just hear me? I just said that werewolves seem logical and meant it. Maybe I’m the one losing it. And meanwhile, there are wolves howling outside. Are you going to tell me those are all werewolves too?”

“Uh …” he cringes and rubs the back of his neck anxiously.

“Oh. They are then,” she answers her own question softly. She senses Adam’s discomfort, noticing that he is holding himself as if he is ashamed, and makes a snap decision to push her own feelings aside for a moment. As unbelievable as his confession seems to her, she can also tell that he is being genuine and that her reaction is hurting him. She repositions herself so that she is once again lying down beside him, and he turns to face her and puts an arm around her to pull her into him.

“Please don’t leave me,” he pleads, burying his face in her hair so he can inhale her scent. He knew it would be a difficult conversation and that she would have some trouble hearing the truth, but now that it is happening he finds himself losing faith in their fragile, incomplete mate bond and worrying that she won’t be able to accept the truth, or him.

“Oh, Adam,” she says softly as she pulls her face back to look him in the eyes. “I’m not going to leave you. I’m just trying to make sense of this. You have to understand that this is the last thing I expected you to tell me. Just give me a minute.”

“Of course, anything you need. And you can ask any question at all and I’ll try to answer it. Just know that I appreciate it so much that you’re even trying.”

Ask her if she wants to see me, Kieran suggests. She said it always makes her feel better.

She barely has a handle on the fact of werewolves. I’m not sure now is the time for her to witness a shift.

“What’s happening right now?” Kylie asks, noticing Adam’s eyes have sort of glazed over and keep shifting colors.

Adam’s attention snaps back to her face. “That happens when I communicate with Kieran. He can talk to me, but it’s in my head and only I can hear it.”

“Oh wow. That’s intense. So, you don’t just, like, take turns with your body. You actually share it.” She realizes that what she just witnessed backs up what he has been telling her. He is a werewolf.

Adam smiles and leans his forehead against hers. “Yes, we share it. In human form he is a voice in my head unless I block him and he can observe what is going on if I allow him, and in wolf form I can mostly observe. He can sense my presence in his mind and I can try to persuade him about certain things, which he will experience as a sort of notion or urge to do something or act a certain way, but he can ignore it if he chooses and he usually does.”

Kylie laughs softly, thinking about the wolf she has grown so fond of. “That seems like him. He has a lot of personality, and I’ve always thought that even before I knew … this. But, one thing I wonder, and I’m sorry, Kieran, if you can hear me and are offended, isn’t it sort of dangerous for you to have so little control over the wolf form?”

Tell her I’m not offended, but only because she’s her.

“Kieran says he’s not offended. I think he understands you’re just trying to make sense of it all. To be fair, I simplified how our relationship works. Kieran and I get along quite well, but some of the relationships are a bit more difficult with a lot more fighting for dominance, especially for a young person who is just getting accustomed to the wolf aspect. I trust him, and the suggestions I make that he ignores are never important. I’m content to let him take over from time to time and just be a passive observer, even if it means I’m occasionally late for a lunch meeting.

If there was ever a situation where I needed him to do something differently, or if I needed to take control back, I could fight him for it. But honestly, in such a situation, he wouldn’t fight me. He would feel the urgency and give in to me. You’re not wrong, though. Some do lose control of their wolves, and it can be a problem, but there are laws and procedures for dealing with that sort of situation.”

“So, there’s a whole werewolf society then, I take it. How many of you are there?”

“Truthfully, I don’t know. We’re all over the globe, and I’m not someone who is responsible for tracking that sort of information. What I can tell you is that most werewolves are part of a pack, and there are dozens of packs of varying sizes across North America. In mine there are about 1500 members, give or take. I used to be in charge of tracking that sort of thing for our pack, but now that job belongs to Marc.”

“Oh.” Kylie’s eyes widen with the realization that his revelation affects more people in her life than just him. “The hotel … it’s not just a hotel, is it.”

“It warms my heart that you seem to be accepting and processing this much better than I expected.” He feathers kisses along her cheeks and nose, and she smiles but still looks uncertain.

“I’m not sure. I’m kind of at the learn-all-you-can-and-decide-later stage of this. The more you tell me, the more realistic it seems, though, so I suppose that’s something. But, the hotel?”

“Is not just a hotel. It is a hotel, but it’s not for humans. We use it as the pack house, or basically a place where our pack leadership stays and the members can gather there as needed, or for big events. Beyond that, our town is sort of a supernatural hub and lots of different beings come and go and find what they need at the hotel. Marc is in charge of both parts, but when you were kids that was my job.”

“Oh my gosh. Are you telling me there are other sorts of, as you said, ‘beings’ out there? And that the entire town is not what it seems?”

Adam can feel her start to shake in his arms and realizes they might be getting to the point of too much for her take in at once. He hadn’t meant to bring other supernaturals into this discussion, but her question about the hotel threw him off. “Suffice it to say, for now, that there are other beings out there which I will gladly tell you about soon, but I think this is enough for you to process for now. We should probably try to get some more sleep and talk again in the morning.”

She sighs, wanting to know everything she can right now, but realizing he is probably right, and it has been a lot. Now that the wolves outside have quieted down, she probably could sleep if she could get all these feelings and questions out of her head. “Just one more thing. Please, I have to know this if you expect me to sleep.”

“Alright, what is it?”

“Marc is obviously a werewolf based on what you said.” He nods in confirmation, and she continues. “But what about my mom and dad? The Logans, I mean.”

“They are as well, and so is Jonah. He is now Marc’s second-in-command.”

“Whoa. I feel like you just dropped a bombshell there, and now you expect me to sleep?”

“I know. I can feel how much you want to know as much as you can, but I can also feel what it’s doing to you. I promise you we will talk more in the morning. I’ll try to explain everything.”

“Just one more thing, though.”

He chuckles, remembering how often conversations ended like this with her when she was younger. “You said that already.”

She shifts her position, turning around so that her back is against his front with his arm still around her. “I know, but this time I mean it. I can’t help it.”

“I know. Okay, what is the one more thing?”

“Can you show me Kieran tomorrow? I need to see him.”

Told you so, Kieran gloats.

“Alright. He wants to see you too. But just know, you don’t have to watch me shift. That might be too much for you to take in this soon.”

“No, I think I need to see it. Some of what you have told me makes so much sense, so much more sense than the things I’ve been told previously, but there’s still this nagging feeling like I have to see it to believe it. I promise I won’t freak out.”

“You can’t promise that. You don’t even know what you’re asking to see. It’s graphic.”

“Okay, fair enough. I promise I’ll try not to freak out.”

He laughs and kisses the back of the top of her head. “Okay. I’ll shift and let you see Kieran. Tomorrow.”