Alpha's Solace (Black Moon Saga Book 1)

Homecoming

Present Day, 11 Years After Graduation

Kylie takes her red, swollen fingers from the keyboard and places them in her lap, appreciating the much-needed break from typing. She rubs them gingerly up and down on the soft material of her work slacks, hoping that it will soothe the itching and burning sensations in her palms and fingers that have become almost unbearable in the past couple hours of work. Her new office chair has helped a lot with the back and hip pain, but sitting for so many hours every weekday certainly does nothing good for her angry, swollen knees and ankles.

She puts her monitor to sleep, deciding it’s time to rest her tired eyes and have a little stretch before getting back to her current task of auditing the account register of one of the company’s new clients. It was annoying when her boss asked her to review the work of one of her colleagues, but even more irritating when she came across two minor mistakes in the first few pages. Tiny mistakes now can mean big problems later, so though she had hoped that this task would prove to be quick and entirely unnecessary, instead she feels the need to scour over every small detail to make sure it is all accurate.

It is days like these when Kylie seriously questions her career choice. Her body is on hiatus with all her conditions flaring up at once. On top of that, her work requires intense mental focus and forces her body to stay in positions that are the antithesis of selfcare.

It had seemed so simple and obvious, considering her talent for mathematics and her careful, detail-oriented nature, that she should pursue a college degree in business and accounting. The truth is it only seemed simple and obvious if she ignored her body. Sure, she was good at it, but with so much of her body inflamed and painful and her mental state tending toward foggy and fatigued more often than not, most days her line of work is simply overwhelming and some days it seems damn near impossible.  

Though there were signs of her health starting to deteriorate when she was a teenager, she was always the sort of person to decide she wanted to do something and go after it at all costs. When Marc challenged her to a race, it didn’t matter that her feet, back, and knees were already sore. She accepted and gave him a run for his money. When little Jonah wanted her to toss him in the air, she ignored the pain in her back and shoulders to enjoy that moment with him.

And when she decided that she wanted to be top of her university class, she piled on the coursework and extracurriculars without regard for the pain and fatigue she knew it meant for her. The only person who ever knew even a little bit about how she secretly struggled and suffered was Marc, and because her parents knew nothing about her health, they didn’t know better than to encourage her college and career choices.

Eventually Kylie couldn’t keep it a secret from her family anymore. About a year before she finished her undergraduate program, her parents and brother came for a campus visit unexpectedly. Usually, such visits were planned ahead of time so that if she was having a rough day then she could just reschedule. This time her family decided to surprise her and showed up at her door without notice.

She was limping around her apartment that day because of the pain in her inflamed left leg. That was shortly after she first started using a forearm crutch to help her get around on the particularly challenging days, and she had to use it then. Her face was puffy, and she had a painfully red, burning rash across her nose and cheeks. Whenever that happened, it usually stuck around for a few days and trying to cover it with makeup usually only made it worse, so she would stay home and avoid having guests.

Not that she had a chance to even bother to try to cover it before greeting her family at the door that day. She wasn’t expecting company, and her family wasn’t expecting what they saw either. Her parents were shocked and heartbroken to see the state she was in, and even more upset when they realized she had been keeping it from them.

Ever since then, her mother has called and visited regularly to check up on her and tried to help her with things like grocery shopping and housecleaning when she could. These mundane everyday tasks were often too much for Kylie’s body to handle, so she gladly accepted and appreciated the help, kicking herself for not bothering to ask sooner.

Over the years, things have only gotten worse for her. It seems like new aches and pains are always popping up all over her body, to the point that now even her nose and belly are areas that always seem to be problems for her. Her joints, which used to only swell up from overexertion (a limit that always seems to be getting easier to reach), tend to just be swollen and sore all the time now. The pain in her lower back has become constant and intense, with recent x-rays showing that her spine is becoming curved, and her hips are becoming so degraded that the left one will soon need to be replaced.

Her feet have long been a part of her body that she doesn’t like anyone to see, not wanting to expose how deformed her toes look or the way her left ankle is starting to turn inward. Now her fingers are going the way of her toes, and she wonders almost every morning how much longer she will be able to type. It has already been a couple of years since she bothered playing her piano, something she always enjoyed when she was younger. She worries constantly that if she loses the ability to type or becomes too fatigued and foggy to focus on her work that she might lose everything she has worked for.

It seems that day has finally come. As she stands from her desk to take a short break and a brief walk to the break room for some coffee, she takes a wobbly step and then everything goes black. A few moments later, Kylie can feel someone trying to help her stand, but the feel of those hands on her is excruciating. She tries to cry out to tell whoever it is to stop manhandling her, but her words come out slurred. Her eyes are refusing to focus, and she can barely hear what is going on around her because of the intense ringing in her ears. She gives up trying to talk, or stand, and instead just gives in to the blackness once again.

A little while later, she wakes up again but this time she is in a hospital room. Her mother is sitting in a chair by her bedside gently holding her hand, but her attention is on the television that drones softly in the upper corner of the room.

She attempts to speak and try to get her mother’s attention, though it's a struggle.

“Mom,” she manages to croak out, realizing her throat feels too dry and raw to do much speaking after all.

Betsy’s head whips around at the sound of her daughter struggling to talk, and she springs to action.

“Oh, baby. I’m so glad you’re awake. We’ve been so worried. Here, let me get you some water.”

She moves to the table near the bed, picks up a pitcher, and pours some water into a small paper cup before handing it to Kylie.

Kylie eagerly tries to grab the cup from her mother’s hand, but when she raises her right arm, she's startled to see it's in a cast. Quickly switching to her left hand to reach the cup, she takes it from Betsy and raises it to her lips to drink.

After a few swallows, her throat is feeling much less parched, and she tries to speak again.

“Mom, what happened?” She raises the arm in the cast to demonstrate her confusion.

“Well, sweetheart, no one is a hundred percent certain, but some of your co-workers said they saw you try to stand from your chair and lose your balance. You hit your head on your desk on the way down and tried to catch yourself with that arm. It didn’t go so well, as you can see.”

“I don’t understand why this happened,” Kylie takes in the news in disbelief. “I'm always so careful not to sit for too long to prevent things like this. The doctors always tell me I have to move frequently, or everything will get stiff, and circulation will slow so I might get dizzy or lose my balance like this. What more do they want from me? How am I supposed to work like this?”

Her voice becomes shriller, and tears start to flow as she goes on because it feels like her control over her own life and body is slowly slipping away. No matter how much she does exactly what she is supposed to, takes all the precautions, follows all the advice and tips she is given, things just keep getting progressively worse for her.

“Honestly, sweetie, I know you don’t want to hear this, but the doctor was telling me earlier that it might be time for you to take some medical leave. He doesn’t like how quickly things are progressing and he thinks it might be from stress and overworking yourself.”

“So, then what am I supposed to do? How do I pay my bills? What happens to my cat if I can’t afford to feed her?”

“Shhhh,” her mother gently rubs her exposed hand soothingly. “We will help you. I have been making arrangements to move you back home so you will have more friends and family to lean on to help you take care of you. We’ll resolve your outstanding lease at your apartment, get all your bills paid off, pack up your things, and move you back home.”

“You have it all figured out then, I guess,” Kylie grumbles begrudgingly, but immediately regrets taking that attitude with her mother. “Look, I know you’re just trying to help, but you have to understand how much I hate this idea. It’s not you guys, or coming home, it’s just that this wasn’t the plan, and I don’t want to be a 29-year-old burden still living with my parents. I have dreams. And a cat. Don’t think I didn’t notice that you said nothing about Mr. Bojangles.”

“I will never understand why you love that fat, ornery cat so much, or why you insist on calling her that. But yes, you can bring Bo. We’re not cat people,” Betsy reminds her daughter as internally her wolf, Myra, is growling and throwing a tantrum at the prospect of a feline roommate, “But we are Kylie people.”

“And I know this isn’t what you had in mind for yourself but look at it as a temporary setback,” she continues in her soothing, motherly tone. “If I know anything about you, and I like to think that I do, it’s that you are so stubborn and determined that you wouldn’t ever let something like this hold you back permanently. Your body needs a break, that’s all. Have some rest, let the doctors puzzle some things out and maybe figure out new ways to help you, and then get back in there and smash those goals, baby girl.”

Kylie spends the night in the hospital with her mother at her bedside so that the doctors can run more tests and observe her awhile longer, mostly out of concern about her head injury. Meanwhile, Nate and Jonah have been at her apartment packing up her clothes, toiletries, and everything they thought she would need for now. Once that was finished, they packed the rest of her belongings in preparation for making another trip soon to completely move her out, once they figure out what to do with all her stuff.

Once Kylie is released, she is greeted by Jonah and Nate at the family’s vehicle, which is packed and loaded to drive her the six hours back home. Kylie is glad to see that her parents still drive a minivan. It helps prime that comforting sense of nostalgia she has always hoped would be waiting for her when she finally decided to make the trip back to her hometown, which she hasn’t seen in person since the day after she graduated high school.

Nate opens the front passenger door for her and helps her get into the seat and fasten her belt. Then Jonah brings a small pet carrier and sets it in her lap, seeming like he can’t wait to be rid of the burden of carrying it. Inside is her 15-year-old shelter rescue tabby cat, who is not likely to win any beauty pageants though she did manage to capture Kylie’s heart about a year ago with her spunky spirit and the unique gait she gained from an old injury to her back leg.

Kylie unzips the top ever so slightly and reaches her good hand in to stroke the fur of her favorite companion and try to settle her down a bit. Before long, both the cat and her human drift into a peaceful slumber which carries them the rest of the way home.

The rest of the Logans use this opportunity to discuss the important challenges that await them.

“Have you contacted Alpha Marcus about Kylie returning with us?” Betsy asks Jonah, who was appointed as Marc’s new Beta two years ago.

Jonah is 20 now, and one of the biggest and strongest members of the pack. Beta Thomas, who had served under Alpha Adam, never had any sons of his own and was more than glad to hand the position over to Jonah, who was not only the most qualified but also a close friend of the current Alpha.

“I linked him yesterday. He said he was going to be contacting The Council to make sure they approve of her returning. He can’t promise anything, but if nothing else we can move her to that old cabin where the Wallaces used to live.”

Jonah knows that the Wallaces were his parents, but he was only an infant when they disappeared. The Logans are the only family he has ever known, and he prefers to keep his distance from his past.

“Did he seem excited at all that she is coming home?” Nate wonders, remembering how close Kylie and Marc were as kids and never quite understanding why they don't talk anymore or how they drifted apart. He thinks it is silly that they let one little rough patch drive a wedge between them.

“Yeah, I think so,” Jonah confirms. “He is always a little weird when her name comes up, but I know he will be glad to see her.”

“It broke her heart that he abandoned her once they became adults,” Betsy explains, “and it broke his heart that she left town before really giving him a chance to come up with a human-friendly explanation and make amends.”

“Yeah, no one ever really talks about what happened there,” Jonah accuses. “I was just a kid and I guess I don’t remember much other than that Marc was around every day, until he wasn’t anymore.”

“Well, kid,” Nate teases his grown son, making Jonah roll his eyes, “everyone thought they would turn out to be mates, Marc most of all. And then they weren’t. He took it pretty hard, and of course there was no way we could think of to explain all that to your sister. Then, he found his real mate and let himself get wrapped up in that. On Kylie’s graduation day, of all days. He’s not even in the photos we took that day. Understandable to werewolves, but not to Kylie.”

Nate returns his attention to the road for a moment, as Jonah considers what he is being told.

“Wow,” is all he offers in response until he considers it further. “Sometimes I think about how hard it must have been for Kylie to grow up so different from everyone else, but then I remember that she had no idea. Actually, it must have been harder for Marc to know all the things he knows and have this whole other culture that he couldn’t share with his friend and always behave in ways she couldn’t understand and then have to apologize to her for basically just being who he is.”

“I don’t disagree with you there,” Betsy chimes in, “but it is her ignorance that always brings her pain. Imagine the person who calls himself your best friend just suddenly not being there for all your big moments. He had her introduce him to his mate, and then ditched her at her own graduation. She was the reason he was there in the first place! Even a wolf would have felt slighted by that.”

Betsy sighs and continues, “That feeling of being abandoned cut her deep, though I’m sure she would deny it. I think it was a big part of the reason she wanted to leave so soon. And her leaving cut deep for Marc. In his case he had his mate, at least, but Kylie only had school to keep her busy. But then of course there was so much more going on with her than any of us knew, and I can only imagine how hard that was to face alone with her body and her heart in such pain. You know your sister, though. Nothing but smiles and brave faces and pushing through.”

“Yeah,” Jonah agrees. “I’m just glad she is finally letting us help her.”

Betsy laughs. “If you can call it that. She was about as happy as that damn cat at being moved someplace she didn’t plan to go.”

Kylie’s family enjoys a chuckle together, thinking about what a vibrant and unique personality she has and how glad they are to have her close again.

The final hours of the drive pass by in mostly comfortable silence. Kylie wakes about ten minutes before they arrive back at the family home and looks around, taking in the familiar sights with a soft smile on her face.

Ironically, she left home on a warm, sunny day in May, and now her family’s van pulls into the same driveway in the late afternoon on a similar day in May eleven years later. Nate parks the vehicle in the same place as always, and then he gets out and goes around to the passenger side to help Kylie out and into the house.

Kylie always knew that finally coming home would feel strange, that she’d feel changed in ways she couldn’t have predicted then, but she never expected it to be quite like this.