Alpha's Solace (Black Moon Saga Book 1)

Kieran

Kieran wakes in the backyard at the Logans, just like he has been doing every night since Adam identified Kylie as his mate at the hotel. The last thing he remembers is being snuggled up to Kylie in the bed at the cabin, but it was the middle of the day and he hadn’t planned to fall asleep. No matter, he was hoping to be back here as soon as possible anyway to try to communicate with her wolf again.

He feels a presence beside him and turns his head to find the same wolf as before lying there, her snout nuzzled into his neck. ‘Kylie?’ he attempts to mind-link her.

‘I haven’t brought her in yet,’ the wolf responds in her own voice, ‘so we might only have a few moments together. If she starts dreaming for real, then that will take over and you’ll probably get pushed out. It’s just so hard to say what I need to when she’s here. Her influence is so much stronger than mine, but I’m getting better at this.’

‘So, you’re her wolf?’

‘I am. My name is Mirabella.”

‘It’s so nice to finally meet you,’ Kieran murmurs, his voice laced with wonder and desire.

‘You too, you have no idea how much. Before she was reunited with Adam, all I could do in here was try to influence her thoughts every now and then by showing her scenes from our memory which she thought were dreams. Once I felt her connection to him, somehow I can reach out to you too, but only when she and Adam are sleeping. It’s so frustrating being stuck in here. No matter how hard I try, I can’t get through to her.”

‘So, we’re in your mind right now?’

‘I guess, basically. Wherever this is, it’s the only place I exist. I can use our memories to change the scene, but this is one of my favorite spots. Plus, I thought it would feel most natural to you to see her here.’

‘It is the place we spent the most time together. Thank you, I love it. But what were you trying to say to me before, this morning?’

‘I don’t know if it’s important now. I thought all this time that because she didn’t know she was a werewolf and didn’t know about me, that she was fighting me and not letting me out. Then I heard Adam tell her about how the curse blocks her wolf and now I’m not so sure. I knew there was a curse, because I heard Papa talk about it when she was a child, but he never said what it does. I might just be stuck in here.’

Kieran is excited about this development. ‘You have been awake since then? And you heard him talk about it? What else did he say?’

‘I’ve been in here since we were born, just like you likely were as soon as Adam was born. And yes, I heard him speaking to Mama once, but it was behind closed doors and I didn’t hear much. I’ve never been able to make much sense of it. I’m sorry, I don’t think I have anything more to tell about it.’

‘It’s okay. I’m so sorry that you’ve been stuck in here so long and awake through it all. It must be torture.’ He nuzzles his face against hers to comfort her.

She leans into him, wishing she knew what the mate bond feels like so she could experience it, and sighs. ‘It isn’t easy. It’s exciting that I’ve finally figured out how to connect with you, though, even if I mostly have to fight her just to get her to say even a few words that come from me. My connection to you is stronger when I bring her here, and we might not have long, but I needed a moment with you to myself.’

‘I’m so glad, and I hope you’re not straining yourself to do this.’ He looks at her, expecting her to respond, but she just looks down and says nothing. He assumes that means it is a strain for her, but selfishly, he wants to stay as long as she can manage it. ‘Last time I was here I saw her form change from hers to yours and back again. Was that your doing?’

‘Yes, I wanted you to see me, so I pushed harder than I ever have before to see if I could make it happen. I wanted her to see me, too, especially since Adam finally told her about our kind. For the longest time I couldn’t figure out why everyone was keeping her in the dark about it, but I understand now.’

‘How much time do we have?’ He tries to inhale her scent but realizes she has no smell.

‘I’m not sure. It’s getting harder to keep you here, so I should probably see if I can bring her in here with us.’

‘Maybe I can help you with her. I’ll try.’ He watches as Mirabella starts to flicker and Kylie’s form fights to take her place. A moment later, the wolf is gone and only Kylie remains.

‘Hey, gorgeous,” he greets her, then hears her giggle in his mind. He loves that sound, and it makes him smile internally.

She grins and reaches out to stroke his fur. ‘Hi, Kieran. You’re such a flirt.’

‘Only for you.’ He butts his snout against her hand, demanding to be pet on his head, then remembers he needs to talk to her about Mirabella. ‘Hey, listen, I have something to tell you.’

‘Something Adam left out?’ She c***s her head to the side, intrigued.

‘No, not really. He’s not part of these dreams we’ve been having together so he doesn’t know. Just a moment ago, I was talking to your wolf. This place is her creation, and she brings us here because it’s the only way she has to try to communicate.’

As he tells her this, Kylie’s eyes go wide with excitement. ‘That’s so cool! What’s she like? She must be pretty clever to think of this. Can I talk to her?’

‘She’s amazing, just like you. But that’s the thing. She keeps trying to get through to you, but something blocks her. It might be that you’re fighting her, or maybe it’s the curse. So, she figured out that she can bring you into her space, but she can’t take control even in here. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to try something with me to see if it will help.’

‘Yeah, of course. What do you need me to do?’

‘Close your eyes and clear your mind. Don’t try to talk, and just relax. Try not to hold any tension anywhere in your body, let it all go. If you feel something in your head, don’t fight it.’

‘Okay, I’ll try.’ Kylie closes her eyes and takes a deep breath and exhales it slowly. He watches her settle into the spot beside him, lying on her back and letting her limbs go limp. She stays like that for a few moments, but nothing seems to happen.

‘Mirabella?’ He calls out to his mate in his mind.

‘Mirabella?’ Kylie responds, lifting her head to look at him.

‘That’s your wolf’s name. Guess she can’t get through still. Okay, new plan. Do everything like you just did, except this time instead of clearing your mind completely, try to focus on your wolf form. I know you don’t know what it looks like, but you saw your paws before at least. Think about that.’

Kylie settles back into her spot and relaxes once again. She takes a few deep breaths, followed by a drawn out exhale. Her eyelids start to flutter slightly as she tries to conjure up the image of the paws and bits of fur she noticed the last time she was here. Before long, her form starts to flicker back and forth between her human and wolf forms until finally Mirabella’s form is lying beside Kieran once again.

‘Mirabella?’ he tries again.

‘Nope, still Kylie. Sorry, I don’t think I can do this.’

‘Well, you kind of did. Roll over and look at your paws again.’

She attempts to roll her body over so that she’s no longer on her back, but her efforts are clumsy at best. ‘Whoa, this feels weird,’ she observes with a giggle. Once she is on her belly, she looks down to admire her paws and observes the coloring pattern of the fur on her front legs. ‘These really are some nice paws. I like the different gradients to my fur, too.’

‘In my honest opinion, you are the most beautiful wolf I have ever seen. I’ve never seen one with a fur pattern like this before either, so you’re pretty unique. I’m so proud to be your mate.’

‘That’s so sweet. Thank you.’ Kylie snuggles into Kieran’s side and he leans over and licks her face. She giggles, then leans into him and tries to push him over on his back. Eager for the opportunity to play with his mate, he doesn’t bother to resist and allows her to roll him over and climb on top of him and lick his face. Then he pushes her off and rolls her over, nipping at her neck. She wiggles out from under him and stands up, gazing over at the bushes that line the back edge of the yard that borders with the forest beyond.

He follows her gaze, an idea occurring to him. ‘Do you want to try to go for a run with me?’

‘I was thinking about it. Can we do that here?’

‘I have no idea. Have you ever been into the forest before?’

‘No, not really. My dad always said I couldn’t go alone, and he would take me someday, but he never got around to it. I’ve only gone in just a little way before I got scared of getting caught and went back.’

‘Hmm, might be that we can’t, then. Mirabella told me she uses your memories to create the scene here. If you haven’t seen someplace, then we probably can’t go there.’

‘Oh, I know a place.’ Kylie thinks of the nature trails in the forest near her old school that her 8th grade science class used to hike. Moments later, the scene around them changes to match her memories. She can hear the familiar sound of birds chirping and the rustling of foliage as small critters scatter around them.

Kieran takes in the new surroundings and smiles. ‘This is perfect. I remember this area too. It’s at the far end of the same forest that borders your backyard, did you know that?’

‘I did, actually. I used to explore around here with my class so I know we should have plenty of space to run a bit.’

‘And there’s a pond not far from here. Maybe you can catch your reflection in the water.’

‘That would be amazing!’ She darts off further along the trail in the direction of the pond he is talking about, excited at the prospect of seeing what her wolf form looks like. He chases after her, content to let her set the pace while he admires the sight of her stunning body running and leaping gracefully along the trails. Occasionally he nips at her back legs to encourage her to go faster, and she obliges.

She relishes in the feel of a body that is not wracked by pain and disfigurement, exhilarated as she soars over the ground and watches the forest scenery fly by in a blur. It occurs to her that she actually doesn’t feel much of anything. She can sense the wind whipping past her and ruffling her fur, but it also feels like something that is happening distantly, as if something is dulling her senses. When she was nuzzling and wrestling with Kieran, she could feel him, but even that was faint and lacked the warmth and tingling that is the normal result of contact with him. Running this fast also doesn’t seem to be causing her fatigue. She decides it must have something to do with this happening in her mind rather than in real life and shrugs it off, resolving to just enjoy this while she can.

Shortly, they arrive at the clearing with the pond. She approaches slowly and carefully, worried that she will be disappointed by not being able to see her reflection. Kieran matches her pace and sticks by her side, watching her intently to see what her reaction will be. She nears the edge of the pond and pauses, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

When she opens them and gazes down into the water, she is stunned to see a wolf staring back at her. Her face is mostly black with lighter brown and blonde fur around the edges. She notices her ears are also black, and then she catches sight of her eyes. They’re a vibrant blue, though she wonders if this is because she is looking at herself in the water. She turns a bit so she can check out her body, admiring the blonde fur of her body and the way it fades into the darker fur of her paws and tail.

‘I really am quite a sight,’ she says to Kieran in wonder. ‘But how can I see what I look like as a wolf if I’ve never seen what I look like as a wolf before? You said all this comes from my memories.’

‘That’s a good question,’ he responds, realizing that it hadn’t even occurred to him. ‘I wonder if that’s why I can’t smell you, though. Maybe Mirabella knows what she looks like but not what she smells like.’

‘Senses seem to be weak here in general,’ she points out, then she raises her face to look at him. ‘Hey, what color are my eyes?’

Kieran notices her start to fade away as he feels himself being pushed out and recognizes that this is usually what happens when she is about to wake up. He makes a note to have Adam answer her question later, so she doesn’t have to wait until that night.

Kylie wakes to the familiar scenery of the back bedroom of the cabin, and groans in disappointment. She had been enjoying the dream or whatever it is she always shares with Kieran when they’re sleeping. She realizes she is still cuddling with him in the bed and he is waking up as well. He turns his head to look at her face and pulls away from her, pushing himself up to lean over and lick her face, this time for real.

She giggles and closes her eyes, enjoying the tickling sensations on her cheeks. Then she watches as he lays on his side and begins to change into Adam’s naked form. He is careful not to get too close to her as his body transforms because he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt her. As a result, Adam nearly falls off the bed as he regains control of his body.

She holds a hand over her mouth attempting to suppress a laugh as she watches him struggle to catch himself, completely in the nude. He notices her watching him and grins, sliding himself across the bed to lie down next to her.

“Is something funny?” he teases, knowing full well why she is so amused.

“Nope, nothing at all,” she lies, still smirking. She reaches out to drape her cast arm around him and he scoots closer so that their bodies are touching, bringing them face-to-face.

He touches her face and gently strokes her cheek for a moment, toying with the sensations brought on by their bond. “So, how was that whole shifting experience for you?” He asks, his voiced laced with concern.

“I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. It wasn’t nearly as gruesome as you made it seem. I thought it was pretty incredible.”

He can tell that she is being genuine with her response and it makes him smile. “You truly are one-of-a-kind, Kylie Logan. I’m so grateful that you’ve kept such an open mind through all of this and are so accepting of it all.” Then he leans in to kiss her softly.

She is glad for the intimate contact with him and closes her eyes, expecting that the kiss will deepen. Instead, she feels him pause and she opens her eyes again. She sees that his eyes are glazed over and changing color from his brown eyes to Kieran’s green ones, and realizes they are communicating. She watches the process in wonder, wishing she knew how to do that with her own wolf.

Moments later, his brown eyes come into focus. He meets her curious gaze and smiles. “Sorry, Kieran decided I needed an update about your dream, and it couldn’t wait. He told me to tell you Mirabella’s eyes are the same blue as Jonah’s eyes.”

“Oh!” she exclaims, excited. She has always admired her brother’s eyes. They’re not a common shade of blue and she is thrilled to know that her wolf has those same eyes. “I love that. Thanks, Kieran.”

“I hope I get to see them someday,” Adam remarks, wistfully. “But I’m glad you got to have that experience. I want to know all about it.”

She fills him in on what happened, with Kieran providing his own input every now and then. Adam is troubled to learn that her wolf is not just lying dormant and unaware, but instead is seemingly trapped in a prison in her mind and trying desperately to break through. He is glad that Kylie got to experience being a wolf, though, even if it was just a projection in her mind.

Once she has finished her tale, he pushes his concerns aside since there is nothing he can do about it right now and leans into her, a telling glint in his eyes. “What do you say we pick up where we left off a bit ago, hmm?”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” she agrees eagerly, and he grins.

He reaches his hand around and laces his fingers in her hair as he captures her lips in a greedy kiss. She surprises him by being first to plunge her tongue into his mouth, which he gladly opens to allow her access. Since he is holding back and following her lead, she uses the opportunity to take her time exploring every bit of his mouth and savoring the feel and taste of his tongue tangled with hers.

Eventually, she pulls away to catch her breath and he keeps the momentum going by continuing to kiss along her jaw and down her neck. She tilts her head back and closes her eyes, clearly enjoying what he is doing. He lingers a moment at the soft spot where he hopes to be able to mark her soon, breathing in her scent and kissing and tasting the delicate skin. He feels her shudder in response, which sends jolts of excitement through his body.

“You have too many clothes on,” he complains without moving his face away so that his lips tickle her skin as he speaks.

She pulls away to look him in the face, which makes him whimper slightly. “You’re so judgmental,” she teases. “You’ve been completely naked this whole time and I haven’t said a thing,” but she begins to take off her shirt.

He laughs, appreciating the playful humor that she manages to bring to intense moments. “That’s because you were enjoying it,” he retorts, then maneuvers to kneel between her legs and help her slide her pants and panties off as she lays back into the pillows. “I hope you didn’t have any other plans for this afternoon,” he warns, feeling satisfied with himself when he hears her breath catch at the intense way he is looking at her coupled with the feel of his arousal pushing against her thigh, knowing she understands what he has planned for her.