LOVES NOT IN HER DICTIONARY

FIRE.

The more he contemplate, the more he was anxious to talk to Togui Dagadu. The more anxious he got? the more the man's worthiness ate him up. The man was revered! Togui was endowed with wisdom. Great length of understanding of both here and the invisible world. His knowledge was unmatched. He was a great counselor, consoler and many more.

Initially, he had turned his back on him then repented of his stupidity. Realizing all the amazing wonder's he was missing by doing so; coupled with the expose he got doing the unfortunate death of his beloved first daughter.

However, he did not know what was preventing him from letting go and completely acceptance the man. He thought, he did in the beginning yet it was not the case. It turns out he was living in the deception counting on that fact.

"What prevents me from accepting him completely?" Old soldier questioned himself. "Can I even achieve that when I know not what restrained me?" Her declares doubtfully.

He had passed the most difficult hurdle he presumably believed. which was reconciliation with the man as well as acknowledging in his might. He would have never trusted anyone if they prophesied a knot still remaining in his heart towards Togui back then. Though, it was only to open up his heart fully to the man with trust? It was a phenomenal request. Although, he only need believe he's of good with his intentions towards him? which a part of him did somehow, whiles the other part hard questions. He wondered why he felt the old man hard ulterior motives. If only he knew what was blocking his path to unadulterated acceptance? It would have been easier. However, he needed to confront this Goliath being evasive in the disguise of a dwarf, camouflaging it existence as if not there; when in reality it was a strong hold! For himself! especially Jennifer and the baby on the way. He gathered courage to call the old wise man.

He stood lousily probing himself against the inner of the booth of the payphone. Head fell back against the reinforced mildly translucent side walls with eyes shut, taking in deep breaths in and out of his lungs alike the preparation of a professional Olympian swimmer the great dive into the depths of the wide open arms of the alluring sky blue water in the pool. His right leg across the left with the toe kissing the Earth .... weakly holding the receiver in his right hand; whereas looking at the dial numbers lazily. To punch in the numbers or not to? he deliberated in his mind romancing the coins he would utilise in his left hand.

The pressure of his trust issue towards Togui, against his will to absolute liberation of his soul. He was at that point! Simile to the cross road of the life of an atheist about to receive Christ! That moment to either take the leap of faith! or for eternity wallow in bondage. Old Soldier's would have been a hell of regrets.

After a short battle within, his calm and gentle shove forward came. Jennifer's cooing sweet voice played and replayed in his minds ear drums bringing still to turmoil tornado-ing inside him. He dialed the numbers with reluctance, the dail went through but rang for a while before Togui's matured thick but fatherly voice echoed through.

"Hello!" Togui broke the silence that followed his answering the in came call. His voice came with an unexpected feeling of euphoria, hitting old soldier so hard in the heart, he went into an uncontrollable emotions flux. An unknown source of heat washed top to down him, underneath his garments in a swift. Making him uncomfortable, to an extent where he wished he was in his quarters. So he'd strip off his clothes.

Truly a sort of fire went through his system, a consuming one at that! Burning out every trace off refrain deeply imbibed inside him towards Togui. In their own appropriate timing they work out the rough edges into smooth ends. So is the nature of the handwork of the gods.

The voice he was accustomed to all the years and would not mistake for another, any day or given time! without any special effects automatically became unique in an unexplainable way that auspicious moment.

It broke the hardened layer of frozen emotions within him psychologically transcending physiologically.

He couldn't hold it together any longer. Whatever, leash was on him got torn within him that instant. All the defenses which were up against his mental release? Went up into smoky flames, evaporating into nothingness leaving him high and dry. The strange strong cord restraining him got snapped in him, with not more to do than to let the flow of relief run through him refreshingly.