Claiming The Remnant

Chapter 40

[ Garrett ]

It was late.

Jo and I were tangled in bed, entwined in the peace of our love but we were not asleep. Jo was running fingers up and down my torso in a lazy way and I was rubbing the nape of their neck. After our rough session we had eaten and then Jo had made slow thoughtful love to me. Of late every moment we spent with one another was some version of being buried in the heat of each other.

The s*x was amazing but I was restless for something else, something more and all of it with Jo. I craved the days when we had played cards, or sparred, or gotten blind drunk in a tavern and had to roll each other to bed. I wanted more of Jo in every way and I wondered if they wanted the same from me.

“Jo?” I waivered a little as they lifted their head to catch my eye. “Would you like to walk with me in the gardens?”

“That sounds wonderful but I dread to think how long it will be ‘til we have the time.” Jo sighed.

“What about now?” I ventured.

“Now? In the middle of the night?” I could see little creases on Jo’s forehead.

“Why not? The moon is full and the sky is clear. We are both awake. It will be romantic.” I pulled Jo’s entirely naked body closer to mine and nuzzled the top of their head.

“You realise we will need to get dressed?” Jo tweaked one of my n*****s.

“It is a regretful hardship but it will be worth every stitch to see your eyes under the light of the moon.” I lifted Jo’s chin and stole a kiss.

“Well… I couldn’t possibly say no to such poetic attempts to woo me. Although considering our previous activities tonight… wooing is not necessary.” They said playfully.

“I will always want to woo you, my butterfly.” I gave Jo a little squeeze and they giggled. “Come on then, let’s go before the night is gone.”

A few moments later we were both suitably dressed and walked hand in hand to the gardens. The moon was as full as I’d said and the sky was so clear that every star was adorning the dark sky. The air was sweet with the lingering fragrance of summer blooms and I took a deep breath full of Wisteria and Star Jasmine.

“You act as though you have never taken a walk!” Jo teased, tugging on my hand and skipping ahead. I pulled them back, spinning them into my frame. The moonlight filled their powder blue eyes, turning them to pools of silver.

“I’ve never walked in the gardens for leisure before. Never would I have dreamed that I’d get to do it with someone as beautiful as you.” My fingers trailed the side of Jo’s face, my other hand now in the small of their back. I kissed the tip of their nose. My heart was hammering, a strange feeling churned in my stomach. My every breath was quivering as I drank in the beauty of Jo’s face; all of it shining in the pale moonlight. The world was still in this moment that seemed crafted just for us. I swallowed. Jo’s eyes seemed to get wider, moonlight poured into them. Silver. The colour of truth. Jo tilted their head, eyebrows raised. There was patience in that look but also boundless energy as though if I didn’t hold them in place they would be running and dancing and leaping.

“I love you.” The words were out, they were free, they belonged to Jo. Jo smiled, a wild grin of delight, before slipping to their knees and fumbling with the buttons on my trousers. “Jo, what are you doing?”

“Showing you how much you mean to me.” A shameless smile and a suggestive twinkle in their eyes. I wasn’t sure how I felt. I think it hurt; to see the person I loved on their knees thinking the only thing they could give me was physical gratification.

“Jo… I…” With gentle but firm hands I brought them back to their feet. Now they looked confused, a little hurt bleeding into their bright eyes. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Show you how much I care?” They bit, a little bitterness coating the words. Jo was tensing beneath my hands, ready to bolt or explode. I wasn't sure.

I wasn’t ignorant of Jo’s past (although I suspected there was more to it than I knew). Being brought up like that must have left a lot of scars; ones I couldn’t see. Being mindful of that I chose my words carefully.

“My exquisite, exuberant, effervescent butterfly,” My words seemed to stir anger rather than soothe as I intended, “my love for you doesn’t need to be bought. You… you don’t have to sell yourself to me.” I held my breath. It was a night for truth, I felt it in the air, in the light of the silvery moon. Bless’ed be Ye Gods of the Earth and Sky, I prayed the truth wouldn’t crush us.

“I…I-i..” Jo’s voice broke, tears pooled, shimmering like liquid moon on their face. Then their eyes began to glow with magic. Jo’s features rippled and changed as the magic stirred with the depth of their emotions. The images flickered quickly, cycling thoughtlessly with their pain. “I have nothing else to give.” Jo finally choked, breaking in my arms.

“No, no my butterfly,” I held them, “you have everything to give. You are everything.” Tears were burning in my own eyes and my chest was so tight it was a wonder I could breathe at all. “You are a light in the darkness. You are funny and sweet and bold. You know every card game, even ones I’ve never heard of. You never back down from a fight and you make my tea just how I like it.”

“Your tea is a basic bitch.” Jo sniffed. “Leave water and the leaves alone in a room long enough and it will happen on its own.”

“Hey, don’t insult my tea.” I told Jo playfully. At the risk of Jo darting off into the night I removed my hands from their shoulders so I could cup their face. Their skin was so soft but the wetness on Jo’s cheeks made my heart clench. Slowly, giving them time to deny me, I dipped my head for a kiss. Jo didn’t baulk as our lips connected tenderly. The kiss was tainted by the taste of tears.

“Why do you call me butterfly?” Jo mumbled, leaning their head against my chest. I baulked. I’d thought Jo would accept my cute nickname without question but now I was tasked with explaining I felt afraid to be giving more of myself when my ‘I love you’ had already resulted in disaster.

“Have you ever seen a dead leaf butterfly?” My mouth was dry as I stared off across the garden. Jo was trembling in my arms.

"The ugly thing that looks like a rotten autumn leaf…?" Jo's low voice carried tears with it. I took a deep breath.

"I think autumn leaves are beautiful, but that's not my point. The dead leaf butterfly is perfectly camouflaged, blends seamlessly with its environment. When the wind stirs the leaves, they might twist and turn but they are still just leaves. The butterfly, however, spreads its wings and takes flight. It soars, stirred by the wind to become a symphony of colour and action." I sighed. While I may have felt the heat of the words in my heart, they felt dead on my tongue and flat in my ears.

"That's not me." Jo said, coaxing my face so that our eyes met. "It's just my magic." Jo's eyes flamed blue, erasing any trace of the moon. Without pause they presented me with face after face, background after background until there was nothing left to see but the garden. "I hate it, it's not even real." There was only the gardenscape in front of my eyes but I knew it was just camouflage, just a mimic of the background.

"Jo," I looked to where I knew they still stood, I could feel them under my hands, "I'm not talking about the magic, I'm talking about you. I love you."

"Only because you can't have her." If the words weren't enough to cut me the vehemence behind them was.

"That's not fair and it's not true." Jo had lashed out and I struggled not to do the same. Afterall what did I have to offer other than my position as Captain? "You're not hearing me, I love you!"

"I can't say it back, I don't know if I'll ever say it back."

"It's ok, I'll wait." It wasn't, it hurt but I would wait. Jo stayed in my arms, albeit stiffly, staying cloaked in magic. I didn't want to leave that spot, at least not until I felt Jo was ready but the night had other plans.

An ear splitting scream rang out across the garden and before I knew it I was sprinting, running through the moonlight towards that terrible sound.