Claiming The Remnant

Chapter 68

[ Garrett ]

Jo was avoiding me.

They had been avoiding me since I had fallen asleep in their sick bed. Tired both physically and emotionally, arms wrapped around my butterfly I had fallen into a deep, comfortable sleep.

Waking. Waking cut my heart open. The imbued sheets tricked me, warm and cosy, I hadn’t noticed Jo slip away. Panic. I panicked instantly.

Jo wasn’t in the bed. They weren’t in the room. There was no note. I was on the edge of a breakdown. After pacing the room for a few minutes my brain was swirling but no closer to a solution. If Jo didn’t want to be seen by me then they wouldn’t be. I could turn the whole castle upside down without finding them because I could stand right in front of them and I wouldn’t know.

Heart hammering in my chest, palms sweating, the content of my stomach threatening to burn its way up my throat and out of my mouth I did the only thing I could think of. I called for Zach.

He was still tired and not entirely recovered from his burn out. My panic overshadowed the guilt I felt. Zach had kindly searched the castle for me. Once he found Jo, Zach had come back for me. Normally he could have just tapped his foot, finding Jo in an instant but as his well was so depleted he couldn't ‘see’ as far as usual.

The reunion had been short lived.

Jo wanted space.

Lots of space.

They made it very clear. There was a lot of screaming at me followed by an unnerving illusion.

Zach took me to my office as I didn’t really have anywhere else to go. The days that His Majesty had given Jo and I to recuperate and heal were spent apart. King Leorè had given us a week in the end.

I barely ate or slept. Four days in I couldn’t take it any longer. The gnawing worry chewing on my nerves, clawing at my mind, clinging to my heart was too much. A distraction was the only potential remedy. So I decided to make a start on the new cuff design that I promised the King I would present.

Waiting for a reasonable hour was torturous. Not being able to sleep, brain screaming at me, I was desperate to get started but the people I needed for this new design wouldn’t be happy if I disturbed them in the small hours of the morning.

Two hours after dawn, I couldn’t wait any longer. The person I needed to meet was an early riser. Even so I doubted that they would be pleased to see me. He wasn’t particularly fond of me afterall.

“Captain Preston, to what do I owe this visit?” The Head Healer looked at me with a little less disdain than usual. A little less passive aggression as well.

“My apologies for the unscheduled visit Healer Asperonin but I was hoping we could discuss an equipment design.” There was an emptiness in my voice. Asperonin looked at me, Captain of the King’s Guard, standing at the door to his quarters, basically cap in hand. His lighty glowing golden eyes travelled the length of me before, with one raised eyebrow, the Healer stepped to one side; permitting me entry.

“Come in, Captain.” Asperonin said with a tentative air. Not even two steps in and I tripped. The Healer's hand on my shoulder stopped my descent, gave me time to adjust my balance. “Let’s sit in the kitchen.” I nodded, grateful that he didn’t have anything to say about my slip.

The Head Healer’s quarters were ostentatious. Lavish furniture, spacious rooms, priceless art and fresh cut flowers along with golden - almost everything, screamed rich and powerful. Asperonin did not shy away from his status and the perks that it came with.

“How do you take your tea?” He asked, moving to the counter. It was unusual, well for Asperonin, to offer me pleasantries. Now he was not only going to make me tea but he was asking how I drank it.

“Black, but whatever is fine, thank you Healer Asperonin.” My voice sounded flat as I took a seat at the dining table. Asperonin clattered around behind me. A wave of overwhelming tiredness hit me. Nothing here reminded me of Jo. It was clean. Blank. Peaceful. Everything fell away and the empty stillness that I'd been craving enveloped me.

“Here, Captain.” The plate and mug clattering down on the table in front of me had me practically jumping out of my skin. I might have had to swallow my heart. “Eat, you look like shit.” He turned away before I could catch his eye. The plate he had so unceremoniously dumped in front of me consisted of a generous portion of scrambled eggs. The tea looked basic and black just as I liked it.

“Eat, Captain.” Asperonin told me sternly, sitting across from me with his own mug. Looking at the food made me feel sick. “My cooking is not that bad.”

“Sorry.” I tried not to retch, the thought alone of putting it in my mouth was making my stomach uneasy. The eggs still hadn't made it to my mouth when Asperonin opened his again.

"It was quite a distressing event, but for it to have affected you this deeply you must have had strong feelings." He took a long breath while I shoved the scrambled egg around. "It's all very surprising considering you didn't pull your punches when she was under your care."

The fork slipped from my grip. The world swelled. I tried for some words but instead ended up with Asperonin's hand atop mine, his healing magic gently flowing over me.

"Easy, Captain. The girl is safe and surprisingly well." His reassurance did nothing for the icy hot pain rolling over my chest. Glad as I was that Taiya, the little tealeaf was doing ok, it did nothing for me as it wasn't what was cutting me to ribbons inside

"It's not that," I started unsteadily. Could I talk to Asperonin about this? Should I, was probably more important of a question. He disliked me - vehemently. This was personal and painful and nothing that could be fixed by his magic. But it wasn't like I had anyone else. "Jo and I are together." Ye Gods, I hoped we were still together.

"Ahh, Tarrin treated Jo for some wounds to their arms … is that…?" Asperonin asked with a kind understanding that I hadn't expected of them.

I nodded, trying to find courage to let the words out.

"They…" Tears threatened to overwhelm me but there was no way I was going as far as to cry on the Healer's shoulder. "They did it to themselves, after we argued and I walked away." I worked backwards to the main event. "We had agreed on exclusivity." I was shaking. "Jo, Jo…"

"I get the gist." Asperonin patted the hand he was basically holding then he got up and fetched a bottle of liquor from a cupboard. "Elbranis, from Eeklad, a tiny village on the very northern border of Velexarin. Strong stuff." He poured a generous glug into both our mugs. "Poflorin is refusing to speak to me unless it is in regard to treating Lady Esther." The Healer took a big gulp of his tea. "He thinks I knew about Grace. Eat." He gave me a pointed look that had me retrieving my fork. The eggs weren't bad but I had no appetite.

"Did you?" I asked tactlessly.

"No I did not." Asperonin sighed. "I understand why you would think that, I don't exactly demonstrate a favourability towards certain Shades but I'm dutiful to my King and my position. Healing is healing and my opinion doesn't count. I do not like to see people hurt. It is not in my nature. If Grace had been using her magic to cause the injuries then I would have noticed but as it was it was indirect. Zach knew though."

"Zach knew?!" I couldn't hide my surprise.

"Yes, how could he not?" The Healer drank deeply and topped up his mug with the alcohol. "Either way I asked him, outright, he told me he knew but kept his mouth shut because Grace threatened Han… and despite Zach's high regard for our King. Grace was still Gracie to him. She had the King's favour in Zach's opinion. Despite everything he is just a child. Even as adults we make poor decisions."

"Are you going to tell your son?"

"No." He blew a breath to the ceiling before continuing. "There is no reason for me to create waves. I accept that Poflorin has chosen Zach. If I interfered it would only create more of a rift between my son and I. It would also lose me any repor that I've built with the green haired menace."

"So you don't like him then?"

"It isn't that I don't like him, certainly I've come to understand and respect him more but I think my son could do better." He gave me a weak smile. "But then don't all parents think there is a better match for their child then the one they have picked. Mine were not keen on Sholin." He shrugged.

Feeling slightly better for the surprising turn of conversation and the eggs I grabbed my own mug. There was a easy silence as I drank my spiked tea. The strong tangy Elbranis eased the throbbing deep wounds.

"So, as one man to another that for some reason His Majesty has not had executed for our transgressions, tell me - would you have taken your task with Lady Esther to the 'end of the road'?"

"Yes. I would have sliced her up until she gave it up or she gave up." I finished the tea/alcohol mix. Silently Asperonin refilled it with some tea before adding another generous amount of the Elbranis.

"The log indicated the dose of acetaminophen you gave her was tiny. Did you know?"

"Yes." I held his gaze. "Like the total 'plouc' I am, I thought I could control it."

"So… you and Jo?" He changed topic.

I nodded, not really sure if it was still true. For me it was, but did Jo still want to be with me?

"I thought everyone knew, Isla and Isha are terrible gossips so I hear."

"I'm not one for gossip, usually." Asperonin raised his mug. "Why did Jo butter the bread elsewhere?"

"Butter the bread?" I raised an eyebrow and a little smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. Asperonin gave me a slightly merry smile and shrugged. "There is some history between Taiya, Jo and myself. It is more than complicated but simple version - Jo took my resuscitation attempt badly. Didn't matter that she was dead and I was trying to bring her back. Once we locked lips Jo saw red. Emotional overload."

"Seems extreme."

"Jo is extreme, but I love them." I pushed my mug over for a top up and the Head Healer obliged. Looked like I was going to get rat-arsed in the morning like a common drunk. Ah, well, at least I wasn't drinking on my own. "It's been one long chain of extreme reactions since that moment. There was the bread butter incident, to borrow your phrase, then the one that Tarrin so skillfully took care of." I was glad that he knew what I was talking about. It would have been too hard to say it out loud. The next bit was going to be hard enough. "Off the back of that I had to go and deal with Lady Esther, cue epic melt down. After King Leoré kindly allowed me to keep not only my head but my position I took Jo in my arms and forgave them only to wake up to them missing." The memory was heavy.

"That was pretty shitty of them."

"It gets worse." The room seemed to get darker just thinking about it. "I'm losing my s**t, it's not like I can just look for Jo, so I get Zach to come help me. Felt like an absolute tosser. Anyway Jo was up on the roof of the south wing. They blow up instantly. Telling me to 'back the f**k off, or watch what happens'." I swirled the remaining liquid around in my mug. "Got a lovely demonstration courtesy of Jo's magic."

"Demonstration of what?" Asperonin's question was accented by the Elbranis we had been drinking.

"Of Jo, my beautiful butterfly, leaping off the roof." I could still see it. Their body splayed on the ground, blood leaking onto the stone path. "I haven't slept since. Haven't seen them since."

"Ye Gods man, no wonder you look like shit." Asperonin shook his head. "Jo is with Lady Esther today. Came early this morning and asked."

"Thank you." I could have cried with relief.

"Seems neither of you can manage to follow the King's orders, even for something as easy to do as take time off." He snorted. "A little advice Captain, it doesn't matter how much you love someone - if they don't love themselves it will never be enough."

Feeling suddenly very sober, I rubbed that thin scar on my jawline while pondering just how true those words were.