Hopeless [Heartthrob Billionaire Series #3]

Chapter Three

PEACE

ARIA

“Thank you so much for fetching me today, Ryan.” I thanked Ryan while we were inside his car, on the way to my condo. Ryan Roswell is my cousin. He’s like the only family I have now kaya sobrang malapit kami sa isa’t isa.

Actually hindi lang siya ang natitira kong kamag-anak. It’s just that he’s the only one who knows I am alive and narito sa bansa kaya siya lang ang within contact ko. His family, whom are my relatives too, doesn’t know I am here in PH. I don’t think they even know I am alive.

And it’s better like that. Coz the more people na nakakaalam tungkol sa akin, the more people na maaaring madamay sa gulo ko. Iyon ang pinakaiiwasan ko. Kaya ko binago ang pagkatao ko ay dahil ayokong magambala pa ako o ang sinumang malapit sa akin ng mga taong humahabol sa akin. The only way I am able to be this free now is dahil roon. I don’t plan to change that. Ayoko nang bumalik sa dati… Kaya kahit mahirap ang sitwasyon, I’ll bear it… If this is the only way to keep my peace, I’ll do it. In fact, I’ll do anything…

I managed to live by myself for years. I don’t need to be with them anymore. If being with them would mean I have to trade my peace of mind, di bale na lang. It’s enough that I have Ryan… Sapat na sa akin na narito siya…

I tried so hard to get away from those people. I won't let them find me now.

He smiled at me. “I’m actually glad you called me. You rarely call me these past few weeks.”

“I was just a bit busy. You know… overseas modeling stints and out of town shoots.”

“Kaya nga eh… you are so busy. So hard to bond with you recently.” Nakanguso niyang saad.

“Sorry. Nagsabay sabay lang talaga ang projects the past few weeks.”

“Don’t you get breaks or vacation? I mean, you’re a model. Surely, you’re more in control of your schedule diba?”

“Yeah. Kaya nga I am on a break for one week.”

Agad na umaliwalas ang kanyang mukha sa sinabi ko. “Talaga? Then that means I can bond with you na?”

“I’m on a break. Ikaw hindi. Kaya ako lang ang may free time…”

He smirked. “The owner can take a vacation whenever he likes.” I just rolled my eyes at him. Of course, he’ll say that. He’s a lawyer and at the same time head of his family’s own law firm. Madali nga naman sa kanyang magbakasyon kung kailan niya gugustuhin. “Anyways, where do you wanna eat? I’m hungry.”

“Hmm… I’m not hungry pa, Ryan. How ‘bout drive thru na lang muna then let’s have lunch sa Cerra?”

“Do you even eat fast food?” He asked me with an eyebrow raised.

“Ikaw lang ang kakain. Ako sa Cerra na.”

He seemed to think for a while. “Let’s have brunch na lang mamaya. Sa condo mo na lang muna tayo. You can sleep muna. I know you’re jetlagged.”

“Sure ka? Sabi mo gutom ka na?”

“Don’t you have snacks at home?” He asked.

I shook my head. “I don’t eat at home, Ry. I’m rarely home.”

He winced. “I’ll go for drive thru then. I’m really hungry.”

I chuckled. “Kaya nga sinabi ko diba?”

“What did you eat ba sa flight? Di ka talaga gutom?”

“You know I don’t eat too much. Kaya konting kain lang and I am already full.”

“That’s why I’m so worried about you. Are you even eating properly? Ang payat mo na. Patpatin ka na.”

Tinawanan ko lang ang sinabi niya. If my fans hears what he said, siguradong mage-eskandalo ang mga yon. “This is called slim and sexy, Ry. I have boobs and a nice ass. I’m far from what you say no.”

He winced at me. “If you say so.”

He’s always so worried about me. And I can’t be more thankful.

I’m glad I at least have Ryan in my life. I don’t know what I’ll ever do kung wala siya.

***

“Wake me up na lang pag gusto mo na pumuntang Cerra ha?” I told Ryan while peeking through the door of my room. I’ve already changed into my comfortable pambahay dahil matutulog muna. I’m still jetlagged and I lack sleep talaga dahil busy sa modeling stint sa isang fashion week abroad.

Ryan was lounging comfortably on my sofa habang hawak ang remote sa isang kamay. I heard a crowd shouting from the television so I figured maybe he was watching a football game. He was focused on the TV kaya hindi sumagot. I just smiled and went back to bed. Humiga ako roon pero saglit munang nag-check ng social media accounts.

A French socialite posted a picture of us kaya ni-like ko iyon. I also left a short comment thanking her for coming to the show. Then I felt my bed shifted kaya napalingon ako sa space sa tabi ko. Ryan was already there lying beside me while peering into my iPad. "Oh, I thought you're gonna watch TV?" I asked him.

“I changed my mind. I’ll sleep too. Aga mong nambulabog kanina eh.” He said while smirking. Kunyari lang yang nagrereklamo pero alam kong okay lang sa kanya yon. Kahit siguro madaling araw akong tumawag sa kanya ay okay lang sa kanya.

Ngumisi na lang ako sa kanya. “Pwede mo namang di sagutin.”

“And who will pick you up? You’ll take a cab? No way, Annie.”

“I would’ve called Cedric. May driver kami sa agency.” I said.

“But you called me. So it’s fine. I know you missed me.”

I just rolled my eyes instead of answering him. What he said was true though. I did call him cause I missed him. I wanted to see him after an exhaustingly long flight and gig dahil he’s the best company I could think of.

The reason why I took a vacation din is because I wanted to catch up with him. I was busy the last months kaya we barely see each other. Halos once a week na lang kami magkita and saglit lang iyon dahil usually magla- lunch or dinner lang kami.

I received a text from Cedric kaya binasa ko iyon. He told me to check my email dahil may s-in-end daw siya sa akin. So I did. Nakita ko ang isang email from a known brand and gusto akong kunin nitong model para sa isang TVC. I immediately typed in a reply for Cedric. I told him to reject it. I don't like TVCs.

“Annie…” I heard Ryan call my name from beside me. I answered without looking at him. I was busy with my social media account. “I know you already told me before but… dad's still trying to find you, you know.”

I froze a little after hearing what he said but I decided to feign indifference. “What about it?” I asked.

“He’s determined to find you… even after all these years hindi siya nawawalan ng pag-asang mahahanap ka. It’s only a matter of time before he finds out you’re here… and alive.”

“Let things unfold on their own… Don’t ever tell him, Ry.”

He sighed. “I doubt they’re still after you, Annie… It’s been years…”

“We don’t know for sure, Ry… Tuso sila… Ayokong pakasiguro. I didn’t change my identity and appearance para lang mahanap nila in the end.”

“Nandito na ako ngayon… I will protect you… we will protect you… They can never hurt you again…”

“You don’t know what you’re saying… You don’t know just how evil they are… We can never cross them… The only way is to run away from them…” I said, shaking my head. Nawala na ang atensyon ko sa iPad ko. I decided to just check it some other time. I turned to face him. “I was with them for ten years. Alam ko kung gaano kahalang ang kaluluwa ng mga taong yon… I suffered ten years in their hands, Ryan. Hindi mabubura ng anim na taong kapayapaan ang lahat ng sakit at paghihirap ko sa kamay nila. Hindi ko rin hahayaang may iba pang madadamay… I won’t let anyone get hurt because of me…”

Ryan wasn't able to speak anymore. He knew about the physical abuse I suffered from the hands of the people there… pero that was only the surface… and that was the only thing he knows. He didn’t know about the actual horrors I had to face then. At wala na akong balak pang ipaalam sa kanya iyon. I’ll take my dark past to my grave. Walang ibang makakaalam niyon… lalo na siya… lalung- lalo na ang pinakamahalagang tao sa buhay ko ngayon.

“I'm sorry, Annie…” He said apologetically. Nang tingnan ko siya ay naluluha at mamula- mula na ang kanyang mga mata. Whenever we talk about this he always ends up feeling guilty. “I'm sorry we weren't there for you… I’m sorry we couldn’t save you right away… I’m sorry you had to suffer like that…”

Agad akong umiling sa kanya. He shouldn’t blame himself dahil wala siyang kasalanan sa mga nangyari. Kung may nararapat sisihin rito, iyon ay ang mga taong sumira sa pamilya ko at nanakit sa akin. Sila lamang ang dapat sisihin rito. It wasn’t Ryan’s or Tito Javier’s fault. The whole Roswell clan couldn’t have done anything to prevent it from happening. That family was too powerful for us… very much evil too…

Even if they did try… wala ring mangyayari. Baka nadamay lang sila… Baka nawala rin sila gaya ng dad ko.

“It wasn’t your fault… you don’t have to apologize for anything.”

“I wish we didn’t let tita marry that man…”

“Hindi naman natin mapipigilan ang damdamin… my mom was in love with that man then.”

Ryan could only sigh. Almost twenty years ago, my mom and dad went through a rough patch and separated due to personal differences. Dahil masyado pa akong bata noon, my mom won the custody rights over me. My father couldn’t do anything dahil iyon ang batas. Pero nang maabot ko na ang edad na pwede akong ipaglaban ng dad ko, he filed for a petition again.

Before that, everything was okay naman. My step father and his son were very nice to me. They treated me like their real family. Kaya hindi ko masyadong hinahanap ang dad ko noon kasi masaya ako sa bagong pamilyang kinabilangan. I was very close to Ryan and Samuel noong bata pa ako. I was an only child and sila lang kasi ang mga pinsan na kinalakihan ko. Pero dahil may naging bagong kuya, hindi ako masyadong nalungkot nang malayo sa kanila. I was actually very happy to have someone I could call as my ‘real’ brother.

Pero nang maipanalo ng dad ko ang case and magkaroon siya ng pagkakataong makasama ako ulit, everything changed. I don’t know how and why things changed exactly. Basta nabigla na lang ako isang araw nang pagbuhatan ako ng kamay ng step father ko. The physical abuse started when I was eight years old. My step father hated me for some reason. Hindi mawari ng batang isip ko noon kung bakit nangyayari iyon. Pero when I reached my teenage years, saka ko naintindihan ang lahat. Saka ko rin nalaman ang kahayupang ginawa nila sa dad ko…

My step father killed my dad because he thought my dad was trying to get to my mother through me… and my step father hated me because he saw me as the bridge between my parents. He hated me because he thought he would lose my mother because of me. Pero di gaya ng dad ko, he couldn’t kill me dahil ako na lang ang dahilan kung bakit nananatili sa kanya si mom. If he killed me, my mother would leave him…

Since he couldn’t… he decided to hurt me instead. And it wasn’t enough na siya lang ang nanakit sa akin… my step brother hurt me in the end too.

Ryan and his family didn’t know about the abuse I suffered from the family. When my father died, nawalan na rin sila ng contact kay mom at sa akin. From Australia, we moved to Nevada para wala nang makahanap pa sa amin. And for ten years, I suffered at the hands of the two men whom I once considered as my family…

It was only after a tragic incident that I was able to get away from them. If it weren’t for that, baka hindi ako tuluyang nakalaya sa kanilang mga kamay… I would never forget that day… dumaan man ang ilang taon, hinding- hindi ko malilimutan ang pangyayaring iyon. It was painfully etched in my heart and soul. Yes, I was able to escape… but God knows I would trade my freedom anytime kung iyon lang paraan para…

I shook my head to eliminate the thought right away… ayaw ko nang balikan pa ang bagay na iyon… It’s too painful… I don’t want another trigger…

When I escaped from my step father, umuwi ako sa Pilipinas. Everything was so foreign to me that time. I was gone for so many years that I didn’t know where to go that time. I knew Ryan and his family were still here pero I didn’t know where to find them exactly.

Sa kasagsagan ng paghahanap ko sa kanila, nakilala ko si Cedric. I was broke that time. I was running out of funds and it was hard to hide from the people chasing after me while depending on the little money I had. Cedric took me under his wing kapalit ng pagmo- modelo ko. I told him a little bit about my past. I told him the surface and why I had to lay low. He helped me create a new identity. From being Anissa Dionne Roswell, I became Aria Nicole Ross. And from being the blue eyed blonde, I became the brown eyed brunette that I am now.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano ka-epektibo ang pagbabago ko ng pagkatao but I am just glad that my life is a whole lot peaceful now… except for rare days when I experience triggers.

I was already Aria Nicole Ross when I met Ryan again.

How we met again was destined I think.  Dahil sa isang kaso kaya kami nagkitang muli. My agency filed a case against a certain brand on my behalf. I met him then without much care and when he saw my blue eyes, he immediately recognized me.

Since that day four years ago, he vowed to take care of me. At first, I was adamant to keep him out of my life dahil sa takot na may iba pang makaalam ng tungkol sa akin. Pero hindi siya pumayag. He was determined to be in my life again. Kaya pinilit ko rin siyang mangako noon… I made him promise not to let anyone know about me… kahit pa sa sarili niyang pamilya.

Kaya nga hanggang ngayon, naghahanap pa rin ang dad niya. I somehow feel bad for Tito Javier. Pero mas nananaig ang parte sa akin na manatili sa kasalukuyan… kaya kahit anong mangyari hindi talaga pwede… no one should know who I am…

***

It was already thirty minutes past eight o’clock nang magising ako mula sa maikling pagtulog. Tulog na tulog pa rin si Ryan habang nakayakap sa isang unan ko nang bumangon ako. Pareho kaming nakatulog nga kanina matapos ang pag-uusap namin. Nagpasya akong hayaan na muna siyang magpatuloy sa kanyang tulog habang ako ay nagpe- prepare para sa lunch namin sa Empire Hotel kung saan naroon ang paborito naming restaurant na Cerra.

I took a quick bath and blow dried my hair afterwards so I could tie my long brown hair into a ponytail. I didn’t bother putting on makeup and just opted with a red lipstick. I of course did not forget to put on my brown contact lenses. Pagkatapos kong mag-ayos ay nagbihis na ako into a black cami top and trousers. I also wore my leather Hermes sliders to complete my look. My style is usually laid back and comfortable kapag simpleng appointment lang or lunch and gala with Ryan.

I don’t really like attracting too much attention when in public, lalo na kapag kasama si Ryan. Isang beses na kaming na-issue and we only got away from it after threatening the small news agency that I will file a case if they continue releasing fake news about us. But people are still quite curious about us. Some thinks pa na we are an item. Hindi namin kinumpirma or d-in-eny yun kahit kalian. It was better staying in between than confirming or denying. Bahala silang maghinuha ng gusto nila.

Eksaktong pagkatapos kong mag bihis at lumabas ng walk in closet ay nagising na si Ryan. I was just about to wake him pero tama lang pala ang tapos ko. I laughed at his bed face, halatang antok pa siya.

“Bat di mo agad ako ginising?” He asked in his husky voice. He got up from bed at diretsong pumunta sa aking bathroom. Siguro ay magsisipilyo at mag-aayos. Nagpasya na lamang akong sa living room maghintay sa kanya. Isang Chanel na belt bag lang ang dala ko. Inside it was my lipstick, cardholder and contact lens kit. I only bring the necessary items para di mabigat. Ang phone ko naman ay hawak ko lang usually.

And speaking of… It’s now ringing dahil sa tawag ni Cedric. Sinagot ko iyon.

“Aria darling, have you arrived in the Philippines na? Did you get home safely?” Pambungad na tanong niya sa akin.

“You texted me kanina pero hindi mo pa tinanong yan. I got home like three and a half hours ago.” I chuckled. “Ryan picked me up from the airport kanina. We’re going to Cerra now for lunch.”

“Send my regards to your handsome cousin.” Ang malanding baklang ito! “Anyway, enjoy your vacation babaita. Deserve mo yan.”

“Yeah, thanks, Ced.”

“Just don’t forget to update me from time to time. Lalo na kung may ganap ka. Baka magulat na lang ako at nasa chismis sites ka.”

I just rolled my eyes as if he could see me. Pero hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti. Parang hindi pa ako kilala ng isang to. The Aria Ross is always careful… kung may gagawin man, siguradong malinis at walang maiiwang trace.

“Ako pa ba? I’m always careful, Ced. Don’t worry.”

“I know, I know… I’m just saying. Basta take care and enjoy. Pahinga kang mabuti and eat well. Pero siyempre wag masyado madami kakainin ha? May shoot ka sa Sports Illustrated in three weeks.”

“Yeah, I know. Don’t worry.” I chuckled. “By the way, kumusta? Naayos mo ba ang problema sa inyo?”

“Ah, oo. Okay na. Ayos na ang lahat.” He answered. “Nagka- mild stroke si tatay kaya nagpanic sina nanay. Buti na lang at nadala agad sa ospital.”

Agad akong nakaramdam ng pag-aalala. I am quite close with his family kasi. Sa lahat ng mga alaga ni Cedric, ako ang pinakaclose niya dahil nga alam niya ang tungkol sa past ko. He was especially soft with me. Kaya parang magkapatid na rin kami. Natatarayan ko lang siya minsan at ganoon rin siya sa akin but our bond is unbreakable. If Ryan is my most favorite person, siya naman ang pangalawa. It’s because of them that I can continue living right now.

“We'll drop by sa hospital later after naming mag-lunch ni Ry.” Agad ko namang sinabi.

“No, dear. Wag na. I- enjoy mo na lang ang time mo with your pinsan at alam kong miss ka na niyan. Last month pa yang nagrereklamo saken dahil sa sched mo.”

I almost snorted. Si Ryan talaga. “I have one week vacation, Ced. Hindi malaking kawalan ang saglit na pagbisita kay Tatay. Sang hospital ba?”

“Contierra Medicals. BGC.” He answered. “Thank, Aya. Siguradong matutuwa si tatay at nanay pag bumisita ka.”

“Diba? Kaya dapat lang talagang pumunta ako.” Napatingin ako sa direksyon ng aking silid dahil lumabas roon si Ryan. Gone was the sleepy look on his face. He looked fresh na ulit and nakapagpalit na rin ng bagong shirt. Tinanguan niya ako indicating na pwede na kaming umalis. Tumango lang ako pabalik. “Osige, Ced. I have to go na. See you later na lang. Bye.”

“Bye, darling! Ingat kayo.”

I ended the call saka tumayo mula sa sofa. We headed for the door and then we left.