The Un-Holy Love of a Priest

Chapter 7: I am your God

Lucius’ POV

Grace has been unconscious since last 34 hours. She was in my bedroom, looking paler. I have been searching about her but needed to travel to Primrose. However, leaving her alone was not a good idea.

So, I called a friend from college who was a businessman and asked him to search on my behalf. At first he was shocked and ended up teasing me with her; absurd, right?

Unfortunately, even bishop has gone to another country for spiritual gathering. There was too much going on but I managed it somehow. To be more cautious, I locked her inside which bothered me the whole day.

Amidst the prayers, the concern of her waking up to a locked door and freaking out was keeping me on toes. The fear of anyone breaking in was another possibility which was next to impossible. They respect me either out of love or fear. Thus, breaking into my house was a big ‘no’ to them still… my heart was restless.

During my time here in church, I kept staring at the cross—Jesus being crucified. The pain he went through for the love of humanity; the dialogue he had with his eyes—I sighed feeling awful and in tears.

Soon it was evening and I was walking back to my house. People bowed in respect and I smiled blessing them. My heavy embellished cross stayed still while I walked the entire distance; shining under the blazing lights.

My house was far from the residential place but there were two lodges on one side that was closet, you can say. Nobody lived in them as the city was sparsely populated. I glanced down at the highly polished and lustrous crucifix while wondering about the recent activities.

Suddenly, I heard the trees and shrubs beside me rustle unnaturally. Halting, my head snapped in its direction but it was unmoving; except few branches that is. My eyes narrowed and I took slow steps ahead.

After three or four steps, there it was, again. In a flash, I turned over and waiting for someone to appear. However, no one did.

“I know you’re there. If you are here for me, I command you to come out of the hiding place. There’s no need to hide behind the shadows.” My voice was firm but calm; a skill I was born with.

The silence was heavy but no respond came from the other side. I waited patiently. The branches shook and soon, a leg with polished black-leather shoe in a black pant stepped out; followed by a head adorning black curled short hairs.

Walking towards me, I observed the man of about my age in business attire stand defiantly; shoving his hands in the pants’ pockets.

Oval face, hazel eyes, thin lips and thick intense eyebrows with a mole near his right eyes; the man was no doubt handsome—lean and average in body weight. His height was similar to mine—6’.

I smiled at his anxious state. He masked it well with a poker face but his scrutinizing gaze never left my face.

“You look new to this place. Let me welcome you to the Faith City on behalf of the entire population.” I responded him calmly.

His nose twitched; a tinge of annoyance as he raked a hand through his head.

“Look, Priest or not, I am here to warn you. The girl residing at your home is a bad luck.” He said and my eyebrows shot up.

“Sheltering her would only bring trouble to you or your city. So, sent her back to the place where she came from. It’s for everyone’s good.” He sounded urgent, desperate to prove his point.

Anyone can take him as a well wisher but not me. I chuckled and saw his face solidify in anticipation.

“Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD. So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?" I stared into his eyes; his pupils contracting lips twisted.

“I don’t want your preaching, Father. Save them! All I wanted was to warn the omen you have sheltered. I hope you’ve done good deeds to save yourself.” With a lop sided grin, he was about to turn but the cufflinks engraving caught my attention.

“Wait a minute!” I called and walked towards him.

He was quick to turn expectantly.

“What’s your name, my son?” He sighed in exasperation.

“I am not your son, father!” Gritting through his teeth, he was confused with his hand movements.

He raised to point his forefinger and I bite my inner cheek at the cufflinks engraving—Primrose.

“Pardon, me mister?” I smiled and he would have pulled his hair out at that.

“Kenneth Bell from Primrose. Trust me; I know more than anyone would ever know about her.” His eyes darted to the empty space as he inhaled sharply.

Suddenly, my heart twisted in its place. I felt uncomfortable hearing it. The way he seemed lost; he was hurt and the mention of their relationship hinted something closer.

“Kenneth—” My words died when a car rushed in my direction honking deafeningly.

Kenneth pulled me to side with wide eyes; now messy appearance. The car swirled and passed us too closely.

I was about to glimpse inside it but the vision was blocked by Kenneth who seemingly checked on me before straightening his suit. He scoffed and muttered under his breath.

“I should leave. You better make up your mind in time. I can see the effect taking place.” With an angry face, he turned and walked away.

While I stared down his way studying him. He had a good skin and customized cloth—must be from a well to do family. He has gone through a hard time and unaware; I prayed it is not due to Grace.

Somehow, I felt lowly.

With weird feelings, I reached the front door of my house.

Taking a moment to self, I unlocked the door. The lights automatically lit as I entered. Instantly, there was a faint thud in the kitchen and I rushed towards it.

Grace lay on the floor, crying in pain while holding her feet. Immediately, I was in front of her on my knees. She startled when I held her feet and checked on it. As I touched it, she screamed in pain but instantly covered her mouth to muffle it.

“It’s going to be fine.” I encouraged while finding what was wrong. My eyes searched around and found a heavy pan lying right beside her.

Seems like she hit her leg with it. I glanced up and saw her tangled hair with chapped lips. Her eyes were tightly closed; a sense of protection overpowering me.

Standing, I went to the refrigerator to make an ice-pack for her. Meanwhile, she stood up. I returned to find her dragging her leg around the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” I asked rushing towards her.

Not wanting to, I held her waist and hoisted up to make her sit on the kitchen counter. The moment our eyes met, I froze.

She eyed me skeptically. Her eyes darted from my face and back to my hand which was resting on her thighs. Abruptly, I withdrew my hand as if set on fire. We stayed in awkward silence until I decided to tend to her swollen feet.

Squatting on the floor, I proceeded to give her cold compressions. She would flinch and groan but it got less, later.

I felt her move a bit and stilled when she leaned to touch my crucifix. She trailed her forefinger around the chain and stopped right over the top of the crucifix. I watched her curiously and she leaned back on her palms.

Sighing loudly she stared at the ceiling before opening up.

“God’s disciple, aren’t you?” I waited to grasp her emotions.

She was torn between admiring and scoffing.

“Yes.” I answered boldly and her bottle-green eyes stared right through my soul.

“Tell me do you really believe in your god? Or are you just wearing it because your profession demands it.” I sat down with a hand on my knee and gave her a warm smile.

She was bothered by it and bit her lower lip, averting her eyes.

“He’s everyone’s god and if I wouldn’t have believed him, I would never have become a priest.” I told her.

She snorted, taking me aback.

“How would I know? With that face” she pointed at mine “You needn’t become one as you look like one.” She shrugged and I crossed my arm, standing up; coming face to face.

“Everyone says that.” I smirked and was alarmed because it was not what I do.

Her eyes zeroed on me and jumped off the counter. I was quick to hold her while she winced and groaned in pain. She swatted my hand away and my jaw dropped.

“Why are you resisting me? I am just trying to help.” She turned and gave me an overall.

“My dear Father, I don’t want to do anything with your good lord or their son, messenger or disciple. Whatever you call them.” Her words tugged at my heart; it hurt.

“Don’t be harsh. He loves his creation be it wicked or ungrateful, poor or sufferers and so he loves you too.” I pleaded and her face went blank.

I took the time to approach her.

“That’s a lie! He would only love if he is real but you know what? HE ISN’T!” She shouted, startling me.

I pitied her, dying to save her. Another harsh word would earn her sin but I also believe my lord will forgive her once she believes in him.

“Grace? The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” She shook her head trying to fight me back.

“If he really was then why an innocent suffers the most? Why the wicked enjoys the privileges? Let me see… because he doesn’t exist or because he enjoys torturing the weak?” Her eyes welled up while lips quivered.

My heart sink and I sighed in dejection.

“Lord says, ‘Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.’ I know you are hurt; deeply but believe in me so I could show you the love of God and help you embrace his blessings.” I held her shoulder and watched her face with wavering heartbeats.

Loud thudding against my chest reminded me of the pain she was going through. The words troubled her more and she was fighting to stay calm.

Grace wriggled under my grasp shaking her head frantically.

“NO! No, no, no, no! Shut up, Lucius. Just shut it up!” She tried to push me away while bawling like a broken kid.

I could feel my heart shattering with the pain inside her.

Instantly, I pulled her closely to my chest and securely held her. She thrashed my chest for a while but it weakened slowly along with her cries.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Her hands stopped hitting my chest rather fisted my black cassock; sobbing under her breath.

I soothed her hair, tightening my arms around her; unconsciously. My chin rested on her head with countless emotions running through my blood stream.

“Do you… mean it?” She asked in a meek voice after what seemed like forever.

I would have forgotten what we talked about if not for her faint dry-sobbing until now.

“Hmmm… yes. I am a man of my words. You need not fear because I will cleanse you off your sins; if any and enlighten you.” She inhaled sharply, nodding her head and relaxed against my chest.

A small smile formed on my lips when she gave in.

“But remember, I believe in you and not your god. He did no good to me.” She argued and I smiled widely.

‘Soon, you’ll be the one to speak otherwise.’

“Fine!” I replied; a burden lifting off my chest.

I am going to shoulder her burdens and sins; the way Lord Jesus did for the humanity.

There is no way I will let her fall behind and alone with a crushed spirit. It’s me to uplift her and heal her so she could give the same comfort to someone else and praise the Lord who taught me the same.

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Author's note-

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