A Unique Gift

TWO

A MEET WITH ONESELF

“The entire Concept of God as a person is just foolish. God is one and persons are many. He cannot be a person because he has to be all persons— how can He be a person himself? He cannot be somebody because he is everybody, and he cannot be anywhere because he is everywhere. A person withholds personality. Every personality is a definition and you cannot define Him. As a person he becomes limited and you cannot limit Him. Personality is just like a wave that comes and goes, and our God is like an ocean. He is immense—He abides.” the spellbinder narrated, eloquently. He was tall and had long jet-black hair that almost touched his butt. His beard was long and eyebrows were thick. His face was radiating with satisfaction, enthusiasm, and charisma of knowledge. “Remember my children—Personalities come and go, they are forms; they are there and then they are no more there. Forms change; forms change into the opposites continuously, and He is formless. He cannot be defined; it cannot be said who He is. He is all. But the moment you say, ‘He is all,’ the problem arises.” the spellbinder paused as he observed faces among the audience keenly. He was a speaker of the finest kind. A spiritual guide, nearing the end of his life, a man in his late eighties.

In the world filled with modernizing technologies, volatility, uncertainties, insecurities, ungratefulness, envy and hatred; he was the man who worked with the aim to establish peace and lead people to a life full of happiness, joy, creativity, and prosperity. Vihaan was one of his disciples for many years. He had been following the spellbinder’s guidance ever since he had hit his adolescent. The former was looking for a source of energy that could lead him on a correct pathway and stumbled upon the doorstep of the later who was the person Vihaan had been searching for. Therefore, they had established a strong relationship over the years. The spellbinder’s words never failed to fill a young heart with enthusiasm, not even in the harshest times.

Vihaan concentrated on his words and felt his heart fill with peace and energy—the energy of being alive.

“How to communicate with God? How will I know if He is listening to my problems? How will I know if He knows my heart is crying? How will I know if He knows my love has died?” a man asked among the audience, attracting the attention of spellbinder and people sitting nearby him. Vihaan happened to be one among them who had shifted their attention to the man.

Vihaan immediately recognized the man within seconds. He was the boy who had dumped the girl in a hotel on the previous day, whose name he remembered was Rudra. He could not forget the way the boy had walked out of the hotel, leaving behind him a crying and broken girl—as if there wasn’t any aim for him anymore, as If he had died internally. His situation was somewhat similar to Vihaan’s own except for the fact, Komal never cheated on him. But it didn’t mean she had not hurt him.

Curious, Vihaan waited for spellbinder to reply to the boy’s questions. They were the questions he himself was searching for. The topic of ‘dying love or died love’ was still critical and sore for him. He was looking for answers but was too afraid to ask anything.

The spellbinder paused, gulped down a heavy amount of air, as deep as the ocean. His gaze shifted downwards as If in deep thought. His silence was thunderous. After a series of tiring moments that had some in the audience shifting in their seats, he spoke. “There is no need; you cannot communicate with him like a person. You have to communicate with him in a totally different dimension —that dimension is of energy, that dimension is of consciousness, not of personality. That dimension is love. God is energy.

God is of absolute awareness.

God is bliss, ecstasy; indefinable, unlimited; no beginning, no end; always and always; eternal, timeless, beyond space — because God means the total. God cannot be everywhere all the time. Therefore, He has fixed a heart in every human being so we can feel emotions. A human being is nothing but a substantial mixture of emotions. God wanted us to help each other and thus He made us feel love. Love is nothing but purity. It’s divine; as divine, as love is. It is immortal —similar to what God is. It has neither the beginning nor the end. God is love. When you love someone, you not only love another soul, but you love yourself too and there is nothing that can make you meet God, but the power of love can.” The spellbinder smiled in the end.

Many nodded. Few clapped. Then many more applauded, but Vihaan set motionless. He was under spell. The words had hit his soul hard. He felt as if his heart had hit reality. He was brought back to the world; he had been trying to escape. Before he could stop himself, the words had already escaped his mouth.

“Can love die?” Vihaan’s voice trembled as he spoke the question with a confused heart filled with immense self-pity. It was the question he used to ask every night with his heart.

Does his heart feel anything for her? Is she still there, ruling it like the queen she was? Has his love died over time? Does he hate her as much as he wants to?

Vihaan struggled to breathe for an instant. A look of pity surfaced upon, taking over the pretending self he had created for himself over the years. His soul was desperately craving for answers and Vihaan knew the time had come to search answers—those answers that can lead him to either heaven or hell. He understood there was no use toying with his feelings by avoiding reality.

“ Vihaan I understand you. I really do my child. I know what you are going through. I was there too. I have gone through the same phases you must be going through. We all have to pass through that phase at some point or other, but always remember my child. Our lives are our examination. An examination God has arranged for us. He is the one who has set our questions paper and the fun fact is we all have different questions in the same examination. Therefore, your answers would be different from mine because your questions are different. It is you; who have to put efforts to find the answers. Only you can solve it and no one.” His voice boomed over the speaker as the spellbinder put the end for that day’s lecture. But it was not ‘the end' for Vihaan. On anything, it was a beginning.

A fresh beginning because it was a meeting —a meet with his own self.