Stalker On Mountain Ridge

Chapter 5 - Clearing The Way

Emily POV

November 9

I sat alone at the kitchen island with a notebook in front of me and a pen in my hand. I’d given Millie the day off with pay, so I could have some privacy. As much as I adored Millie, what I needed to do, needed to be done without an audience.

It was time. 

I’d known this day was coming for years and had been preparing myself for it, but that didn’t make it easier. Ending a marriage was not meant to be easy. Even amicable divorces, which this one would be, were difficult and caused pain. Jonah would be hurt, and I hated that, but it truly was for his own good, and he’d come to realize that in time. Combing the fingers of my free hand through my curls, I bent forward over the notebook, willing the words to come. They didn’t, and with a growl of frustration, I shoved the notebook away. 

Writing a note was taking the coward’s way out, anyway. 

Jonah deserved more than a ‘Dear John’ letter left on the fireplace mantel. This was something that should be done face to face, I owed him at least that much. He deserved the respect of being asked for a divorce in person, and he deserved to know why. 

Well, only part of the why. 

The other part wasn’t for me to tell him, it was for him to figure out on his own. Pushing myself up from the stool, I strode from the kitchen and to the bedroom I’d shared with Jonah for the last eight years. One suitcase lay empty on the bed. Two others sat already packed at the door. I paused for only a moment, then went to the dresser and began to pack the remainder of my belongings.

He would blame himself.

“It isn’t your fault, Jonah,” I said aloud to him though he was not there. I picked up a stack of panties and carried them to the open case.  

I had pursued him. Romance and all its pursuits had always been a kind of game to me. And he’d been a grand prize. When he’d proposed, I’d accepted without hesitation even though I knew I wasn’t really in love with him. I was in love with the idea of being a wife and a partner. I did care for him a great deal, but that was not enough to make a lasting marriage. 

My mother had always called me a free spirit, and I’d lived up to that label, always hungering for the pleasures that life offered. When I was having a good time, I wanted that time to last for as long as possible. When it became tedious or boring, I walked away. However, I wasn’t walking away because I was bored or because marriage to Jonah had become tedious. 

No. Truth be told, I didn’t think I’d ever grow bored with Jonah or our marriage. It was one of the greatest adventures I’d ever experienced and if things were different, I would let it continue.

In this case, I was walking away because it was the right thing to do. Because as long as I hung on to him, he would never be free to truly be happy. As long as we remained married, he would continue to deny himself what was meant for him in the first place.

Oh, how fascinating that had been to watch! I’d seen that spark in their eyes the night we all met. I’d felt the electricity in the air surrounding them and I knew. On that very first night, in that very first moment, I knew that the day would come when I would have to say goodbye to Jonah and Cal would have to say goodbye to Avery. 

It was meant to be. 

They were meant to be.

Of course, I could not have anticipated the tragedy that befell us. 

Poor Cal.

Who could have imagined that fate would steal his life before he had a real chance to live it. 

I placed a stack of negligees in my suitcase and rubbed away a tear that clung to my lower lashes, then took a deep breath to stave off the wave of sorrow that threatened. 

If I had been any other woman, I would have done everything in my power to keep Jonah and Avery apart. But I wasn’t any other woman, and I didn’t keep them apart. I actually encouraged the friendship. Partly out of morbid curiosity, and partly because I was a hopeless romantic. I’d wanted a front-row seat when the two of them finally realized that they were soulmates. For three years, I’d watched the two struggle with their feelings. Their guards had slipped so many times, and each time I wondered: 

Was it finally happening? 

Was this the day that they stopped fighting it? 

Then Cal died.

The grief and guilt on Avery’s face had ripped my heart to shreds. Others at the funeral had claimed it was survivor’s guilt, but I knew better. It wasn’t survivor’s guilt, though it did play a small part in how deeply Avery was affected by Cal’s death, underneath it, was a deeper guilt that came from loving a man who wasn’t her husband. And she was in love with Jonah, just as he was in love with her, though neither of them realized it. Both were far too loyal to even allow themselves to ponder what it was they were feeling for each other, but it showed in a variety of ways, visible only to those capable of recognizing it.  

Jonah showed his true heart by stepping in without hesitation to help Avery take care of the funeral details when she didn’t have the strength to do it by herself. He thought he was doing it to honor his friend, but his face confessed the truth when the three of us were alone. Everything he did, every decision he’d made was for Avery, not Cal. It was to lessen her burden in the hopes that it would somehow lessen her pain. 

To his credit, no one, but I knew that his intentions were anything, but those of a good friend. Jonah had never concealed his heart better, in my opinion. And for that, I was grateful. The last thing that any of us needed, at that time, was inappropriate speculation. People were already whispering behind their hands about Avery’s flight from the graveside. Despite the explanation I’d given them, people still voiced their own theories about the reason behind it. Thankfully, not one of those theories involved an illicit affair or inappropriate feelings of any kind.

After the funeral, when Avery retreated from the world, I had considered stepping aside. It seemed like the right time. Avery would have time alone to grieve and to think about her future. Jonah would have that time to accept that our marriage was over and maybe come to realize what he felt for Avery. But Avery wasn’t the only one grieving, and I couldn’t bring myself to leave Jonah while he was suffering. 

So, I stayed, and I waited. 

I couldn’t wait any longer. 

Avery had emerged from her cocoon of grief and it was time for me to get out of the way.

Jonah POV

The first thing I saw when I walked through the door was Emily’s luggage in front of the fireplace, and my heart sank. For the last couple of weeks, I’d had a feeling that something was off. There had always been a certain amount of distance between Emily and me, but that distance had been growing, and I really hadn’t done anything to stop it.

“What’s this?” I asked, already knowing the answer. 

Deep down, I’d always known that we wouldn’t last forever. I didn’t feel for her what I’d expected to feel for the woman I married. I desired her, I enjoyed her, I even loved her, but not the way I should. We’d been married eight years and neither one of us brought up having a family or our dreams for the future. We still had separate bank accounts and filed our taxes separately. We went on separate vacations. Nothing about our relationship said lifetime commitment, but that didn’t mean I was ready for it to end. 

Emily was sitting on the loveseat in leggings and a long t-shirt. Her hair was twisted up into a messy bun and her face scrubbed clean of makeup. Tears glistened in her eyes as she looked up at me and patted the spot next to her. “Come… Sit… We need to talk.”

I obliged and said nothing. I wasn’t sure what to say.

“Jonah, I think we’ve both known this was going to happen eventually,” she began, her voice soft with a hint of sadness. 

“Yeah,” I agreed, without making eye contact. “Honestly, I’m surprised it didn’t happen before now.” 

“I never meant to hurt you. I hope you know that...”

My head jerked her direction. “You didn’t hurt me, Em…”

She raised her hand to stop me. “Yes, I did. I knew when this began that we weren’t meant for each other. It just didn’t feel right, but because I enjoyed being with you so much, I let it continue. I let it go too far.” She lay her hand against my cheek. “I shouldn’t have married you, Jonah. I shouldn’t have trapped you in a relationship that I knew was not going to work.”

“You didn’t trap me. I proposed to you, remember?” I reminded her and covered her hand with my own.

“It was one of the most beautiful nights of my life, of course, I remember, but it doesn’t change the fact that I should have said, no. You were not meant to be my husband, but I took those vows anyway, and in so doing, kept you from finding the one you were meant for. I was selfish and I apologize,” she said as she drew her hand away.  

I stared at her. The last thing I expected her to do was to apologize for marrying me. I had always considered myself lucky that she’d accepted my proposal. Even knowing that I did not love her the way she deserved, I considered myself blessed to have her by my side. 

“You don’t owe me an apology. You wanted to marry me. I wanted to marry you. At that time in our lives, that’s all that mattered, and it’s not like we’ve made each other miserable for eight years. We have been happy, haven’t we? I didn’t just imagine it, did I?” I asked, trying not to be offended by her regret.

Emily leaned forward and kissed me softly. “You didn’t imagine anything. We have been very happy, Jonah. I have absolutely no complaints about being your wife. You have been an amazing husband. My only regret is coming between you and your true happiness. Yes, we were happy, but that will be nothing compared to the joy you will experience when you and your soulmate finally connect.”

“Why do I get the feeling that you’re holding something back from me?” I asked her, my brows furrowed in mild irritation.

She smirked as she slipped her rings from her finger and placed them in my hand. “Because I am,” she admitted and rose.

“Okay, what are you holding back and why?” I knew she wasn’t going to tell me, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t ask anyway.

Picking up one of her suitcases, she turned to face me. “Nice try, baby. It is not my place to tell you what I know. It’s something that you have to discover for yourself. Besides, I know you too well. If I told you, you’d go out of your way to prove me wrong. You’ve lost enough time because of my selfishness. I won’t let you lose any more to your own pride.”

I picked up the last two suitcases and followed her out of the house. Emily pushed the button on her key fob to open the trunk, then set her bag inside.

“Where will you go?” I asked as I placed the remaining two bags in the trunk and closed it.

She smiled. “I’m going away for a while and I’m not telling you where. Even though we have no animosity between us, we are ending a precious chapter in our lives and it hurts. So, I think it would be best if we don’t have any contact with each other until everything is finalized. That way we’re not tempted to put it off.”

I pulled her into my arms and held on. Everything she said was right. We weren’t meant to be together, but it still hurt like hell to walk away from an eight-year commitment. It hurt knowing that I would wake up the next morning and not see that beautiful face or hear that melodic voice. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye and I didn’t think I ever would have been. If she hadn’t made the decision to end it, I knew I wouldn’t have. I would have clung to her and our marriage until I took my last breath because having a ‘good enough’ marriage with someone I cared about and enjoyed spending time with was better than being alone. And that would have been me being selfish. She’d said that I deserved to find my true happiness, but so did she. 

Pressing a kiss to her temple, I slowly released her and stepped away. Emily walked to the driver’s side of the car, turned in the open car door, and smiled at me. “You have a chance to have the kind of love that most people only dream of, Jonah. Don’t blow it,” she said, then folded herself into the car and drove away.

I don’t know how long I stood there, watching long after the car had disappeared from my sight, her cryptic comments replaying in my mind.