Stalker On Mountain Ridge

Chapter 3 - Rebirth Of An Internal Battle

Avery POV

It may have been cliché, but Jonah was a master with meat and a grill. The steaks had been phenomenal. He’d served them with roasted vegetables and potato salad that Millie had thrown together before leaving for the day, then complemented it with a nice Cabernet Sauvignon. To cap off the perfect evening, Wade surprised us all with a decadent crème brûlée from his restaurant—a group favorite—while Emily served coffee around a roaring fire in their large gray stone fire pit. 

Completely stuffed and totally relaxed, I sank back into the plush cushions of the lounger I was reclining on and closed my eyes. 

“I’ve missed this,” I mused to no one in particular, then sighed deeply in contentment.

 I felt Jonah’s gaze upon me and despite telling myself not to, I opened my eyes and met his over the flames. The air between us seemed to warm and thicken. My chest tightened, and I began to struggle for every breath, so I forced myself to look away. This feeling wasn’t new, but it never failed to take me by surprise. Just when I thought I had it under control, a moment like this would occur and prove me wrong. I hated it. These moments always brought feelings of guilt, disloyalty, and shame with them. They were a direct betrayal to Cal, to Emily, and even Jonah. He was my best friend. He was married and when it first began, I had been married, too. 

I first felt that spark of attraction the night that the four of us met. We were guests at a charity fundraiser that Jonah and Emily were hosting. It was my very first red-carpet event. Cal’s company was a major contributor to the charity and me and Cal had filled in for his parents who had been called away unexpectedly. Because I’d never attended such a prestigious event, I relied on Cal to guide me through the protocols and the receiving line where Jonah and Emily stood greeting their guests. I’d been more than a little starstruck when I saw Jonah. He was every bit as gorgeous in person as he was on screen with his wavy black hair, just long enough to give him that rugged devil may care look, and those impossibly green eyes that seemed to pierce your soul when he looked at you. My breath caught and my tongue-tied, preventing me from uttering a single word. Cal had to step in and make the introductions on my behalf while I stood there mute and flushed with embarrassment.

At Cal’s prompting, I shook Emily’s hand and then Jonah’s. 

It felt as if I’d touched a live wire, and when our eyes locked, the world seemed to tilt. Careful not to raise an alarm, I pulled my hand away slowly, and continued to stare at him a moment longer, and he at me. 

Had he felt the same thing, or was he just wondering what was wrong with me? 

I forced my attention back to my husband, who had said something that made Emily laugh uproariously, and tried to forget about what had just occurred between me and Jonah Elias. 

It would have been so much easier if that had been our only meeting, but it wasn’t. Cal and I happened to run into them again a few weeks later at Wade’s restaurant the night it opened. It was so busy that the four of us stood near the door chatting amongst ourselves for almost an hour. A four-top table was the first to open up, and instead of deciding which couple should take it, Cal and Jonah agreed to share it, and our friendship began. 

I tried everything I could to keep my distance, but it was like fighting a strong current. There was an instant connection between the four of us, but it was me and Jonah that seemed to form the strongest bond thanks to our tragic pasts. 

So, I was attracted to him. 

That’s all it was. 

Basic, s****l attraction. 

It was perfectly normal for me to be attracted to other men, especially men that put every depiction of every Greek God to shame. Marriage didn’t prevent you from being attracted to another person, it just discouraged you from pursuing it and I hadn’t. 

Avery Campbell was no cheater. 

Instead, I’d convinced myself that it would fade over time. 

It hadn’t faded. 

Three years had gone by and still, I felt that tug in the pit of my stomach whenever I thought of Jonah. I still felt that jolt when our eyes met. But most importantly, I still felt the guilt. I shifted my gaze to Emily, who smiled warmly. I was Emily’s friend too and that made me feel worse. 

What kind of friend allowed herself to be attracted to her friend’s husband? 

No friend at all. 

I did not deserve either of them.  

Jonah POV

Seeing Avery relaxed and at peace after all she’d gone through was a huge weight off my shoulders. I’d worried every day of those four months that she’d isolated herself from everyone. It had been hard to stay away and let her grieve alone, but it was what she’d needed and as her best friend I was honor-bound to respect her wishes.

Since I’d had no choice but to accept the separation, I’d hoped that the distance would help me bury my inappropriate feelings. My hopes were dashed the minute I scooped Avery into my arms at the juice bar. For one fleeting minute, the pain of missing her had taken over and I’d forgotten that we were surrounded by our friends and my wife. It was a good thing that Wade had spoken up when he had. Lord only knows what would have happened if she’d stayed in my arms any longer.

I watched Avery basking in the fire’s glow a moment longer than I’d intended and jolted a bit when she opened her eyes and caught me staring. Still, I couldn’t look away and for a while, she held my gaze steadily. When she suddenly broke eye contact I felt as though a bucket of ice water had been dumped on my head, and I silently cursed my own weakness. I was a married man. She was my best friend and she’d just lost her husband, for Chrissake! I had no business reacting to her that way. 

No business, at all, I reiterated. 

For three damned years, I’d fought these feelings, and still, they would not be quashed. For three years I’d tried to stop myself from wanting something I shouldn’t. Hell, she thought of me as a big brother, had said those very words to me on multiple occasions, and it hadn’t changed how I felt—not even a little bit. Without bothering with an explanation, I stood and excused myself from the group. I needed a moment to collect myself. I needed to put some space between me and Avery until I had myself back under control.

Safely closed off in my office, I paced. Instead of my frustration dissipating, it grew. 

What kind of friend was I? 

What kind of man lusted after his dead friend’s wife? 

Though I had to be honest, the lust was there long before Cal had died. That reminder only made me feel worse. Not only had I betrayed my friend in life, but I continued to do so in death. And not only had I betrayed my friend, but I’d betrayed my own wife. 

Emily. 

Everyone who met her fell in love with her. She was gorgeous and vibrant. Every man wanted to have her, and every woman wanted to be her. I still couldn’t believe that I’d managed to convince her to marry me. Emily was a free spirit, with a heart of gold and itchy feet. Her lust for life was contagious, and she’d brought out the adventurer in me by taking me to the farthest corners of the Earth. She introduced me to the world, and to the many different cultures that were encompassed by it. 

She’d passed on a number of jobs to be there for me and hold me up during my mother’s illness, and after her death until she was sure I was okay. It had been a dangerous gamble with her career, but she’d taken the risk for me.

I didn’t deserve her. 

Emily deserved better than a husband who could not shake his attraction for another woman. She deserved someone who only thought of her, who woke up desperate to see her face and went to sleep resenting the need for rest because it took him away from her even if it was only for a few hours.

I was not that man, but I wanted to be. I’d promised her the day we married that I would be, and I’d failed.

What I was, was a complete jackass, who deserved to be alone. Lowering myself to my desk chair, I did the only thing I could do and apologized to the memory of my friend and to Emily. Words that neither of them would ever hear because they were uttered in secret. Those secret apologies were all I had to offer. I couldn’t make the feelings go away and I couldn’t confess them without hurting someone. So, I fought hard to conceal what I felt for the sake of all concerned and in those moments when my control slipped just a little, I secretly apologized as if silent words would somehow absolve me of my betrayal.

Disgusted with myself, I closed my eyes and took several slow, deep breaths. Counting with every inhale and exhale. When I felt steadier, I got to my feet and headed back out to join Emily and our friends. I couldn’t hide in my office all night, no matter how much I would have preferred it. Everyone would start to wonder. They would ask questions, and I wasn’t in the frame of mind to try to lie.

Avery POV

I felt him return before I saw him and knew it was time to take my leave before I made a fool out of myself. 

I rose slowly and smiled over at Emily. “I should head home, it’s getting late.”

Everyone got to their feet and encircled me. 

“We are so glad to have you back,” Emily said as she embraced me. 

There were murmurs of agreement as Wade, Chase, and Olivia each hugged me in turn. Then Jonah stepped forward, and it took everything I had not to tense up when he wrapped his arms around me.

“Yeah, what she said,” he quipped with a wink, then turned, keeping one arm looped around my shoulders. Just like every other night when we’d all gather here, Jonah led me out with his wife and our friends in tow.

My sigh, when I let myself into my house, was from both relief and exhaustion. I was extremely relieved to have been welcomed back so graciously by all my friends. I was also exhausted from all the emotions that came with that welcome and having to battle back my persistent attraction to Jonah. 

I stopped myself. 

No. 

I wasn’t going to think about that anymore tonight. I’d managed to ruin the entire evening for myself obsessing over that. If I kept obsessing, I wouldn’t get any sleep and I was going to need it. I had a busy week ahead and I didn’t have time to dwell on my attraction to Jonah. I simply had too much to do. Stalking into my bedroom, I deposited my purse on the dresser and propped my mat against the wall in the closet. 

It was no easy task, but I forced all thoughts of Jonah from my head as I dropped down on my bed and pulled my sneakers off. To keep my mind on more pressing matters, I mentally ran through my to-do list for the rest of the week. 

The next few days were going to be emotionally draining for me and I needed to focus every ounce of energy on the tasks at hand. Starting tomorrow, I would begin the process of cleaning out my husband’s things. I’d been deliberately putting it off, but I couldn’t any longer. Cal had been gone for four months and I’d come to realize that seeing his clothes in the closet every day, his shoes by the door, and his car in the garage delayed the healing process. If I was going to learn to start living again, I had to learn to let go and the first step was letting go of Cal's belongings. 

When I’d finished my nighttime ritual, I climbed into bed and reached for the tablet that I usually kept on my nightstand. It wasn’t there and for a few seconds, I sat, wondering where it could be. Then I remembered, I’d taken it into the living room to read this afternoon before deciding to go to yoga class. Sliding out of bed, I padded out to the living room and collected it from the gray stained oak coffee table. 

I started to return to my room and heard a loud thump outside my front door. My brows furrowed as I redirected my steps toward the door. I pulled back the curtain but didn’t see anyone, so I reached over and flipped the switch to the porch light. An awful scream bounced off the walls of my living room and it took me several minutes before I realized that I was the one screaming. I forced myself to stop and glanced back outside. Hanging from the ceiling of my porch, swaying with the wind, and knocking into the post, was a dead cat. My stomach turned, forcing me to step back and drop the curtain back into place. 

Because I didn’t know what else to do, I returned to my room and called the police.