Never Ending Lies

BAD DECISIONS

(LISA)

Ahhhhhhh!

Who the hell does she think she is?

Ughhhhh!

Anger coursed through me as my grip on the steering wheel was turning the color of my knuckles white at that question amongst others repeatedly crossed my mind. She thought we were friends?

Jennie. Fricking. Kim.

She was that delusional to be under the impression that we in any shape or form are friends or that we were? My body pulsated as I tore through the streets not caring about traffic laws still trying to get the encounter with Catalina out of my head as it had managed to resurrect feeling I had long ago buried and neglected to let surface.

Jesus...

Did she pity me or try to show some form of compassion? Because she failed; genuine compassion doesn't need to be brought to public attention. If someone really felt something for someone, then you don't need anyone else to know, not even the person towards whom you're feeling the compassion or empathy. That thought alone enrage me even more if Jennie believed that after two years an apologize would fix what had happened and make everything better; I hated being pitied it made me feel inferior to everyone else, especially after sophomore year.

    That's why I keep my distance and very careful when it comes to whom I get close in my life. Can it be the reason of having the emotionless mask. Being exposed as a weak person is something I can't bear and to think about being put in that position again.

    Inevitably I knew I couldn't run forever as the signal to the gas gauge turned on notifying the obvious that my car was running low on gas. Rolling my eyes I knew I had to pull over and fuel up, even though the rest of me kept screaming to keep going and not stop I didn't want to end up stuck somewhere. Hopefully the somewhat fresh air would hep calm my rattled thoughts as Jennie's words still rang in my ears clearly, "I defended you!"

    That sweet, beautiful and harmonic angel voice was like a symphony composed by the gods that was oddly so calming to my nerves. Even though I did my best to avoid anyone from Melbourne High School and doing so successfully with the minor exception of a few.

    Part of me always did secretly want to speak to Jennie. Back then we did have a few classes together and hung out when it was mandatory when I had to go and watch Somi and Jennie; along with the rest of the cheerleaders practice, she did try to talk to me and form a friendship. Plus I always thought she was kind of cute too, a major dork at times but I actually found it adorable when she got excited about something.

    I know what happened wasn't her fault; What Somi had done had nothing to do with Jennie or anyone else but I still blamed Jennie just because of her affiliation to Somi. When mostly I blame myself.

    As I started to wallow in my own self-pity and depression I felt my cell vibrating in my jeans; it was a text from my friend Bambam.

    Bambam: Yo where did you go?? Took off like bat outta hell. My place with 411.

    My head slowly descended down low; staring at the ground knowing that the rash, if not dramatic exit I made back at Jennie's would have had some repercussions that would have caused a few eyebrows to raise if not some questions along with it.

    Sighing in annoyance I really didn't want to go talk about it and just move past tonight's encounter with Jennie.

    Lisa: Kay. Be there soon fueling up @ gas station.

    Bambam: BRING SNACKS! Will love you 4eva <3

    Lisa: LIES!!!! Only want me for my body lol.

    Bambam: We chase what we can't have Haha.

    Lisa: Then you'll always be running.

    Bambam: You're worth it ;)

    I shook my head in disbelieving humor; this kid would never give up in his timeless pursuit in trying to convince me into just one night 'together' no matter how many times I turned him down, not solely based on the fact that I prefer woman over men, since I have had my far share of enjoying personal, intimate time with both it was just Bambam was like a brother.

    I did enjoy our little back and fourth banter from time and time when it was need in moments such like this when I was feeling down, but half the time I never truly knew if what Bambam meant what he was saying or just going through the motions like the majority of us do.

    Bambam; being one of my closet friends, he was just as alluring physically and talented when it came to being a 'f**k boy' a title he so proudly prides himself on, one never knew if the words exchanged between him and a female party were genuine or all part of the game.

    Standing impatiently wanting for my car to fill up faster as I stood in the oddly muggy weather we were having so early in the summer; normally the Mediterranean climate gifts us with a usually dry summers with temperatures normally between sixty and seventy three.

    Still waiting my cell phone buzzed again; god! This thing hasn't stopped all damn night, was there a full moon or something?

    Rolling my eyes I assumed that the text would be from Bambam telling me to hurry up; to my surprise it wasn't. It was from an unknown cell.

    Unknown: Lisaaaaaa??? Still hoping this is rite #

    Lara: Who is this? How do you have this number?

    Unknown: Always had it... It's Jennie.

    My heart raced and caused the blood in my veins boil under my skin at the name that appeared on the screen. What the hell was going on tonight?

    Lara: How did you get my number?

    Viciously I pressed send asking if not demanding an explanation to how Jennie had obtained my personal cell number since I knew I had never in my right mind would have given it to anyone other than my parents and friends.

    Jennie: You gave to me... once upon a time. :) :(

    Okay... So apparently I did at some point that I am unable to recall and remember exactly when I had given Jennie my number but she clearly saved it, but what was with that 'Once upon a time' deal? Was she trying to be cute or piss me off?

    If so she was succeeding in pissing me off and adding to my growing annoyance and if she was smart enough she would take my next message to heart.

    Lisa: Delete it!! The end.

    Jennie: No

    Oh my god was this dense in some part of her head? How does she not understand that I wanted nothing to do with her or the rest of her friends.

    Lisa: Yes Jennie. Delete my number and leave me alone.

    I type not fully understanding why I was still engaging Jennie's messages and continuing to argue with the former cheerleader.

    Jennie: Meow ;) ... no...

    What the hell? What was that? I stared at the screen of my cell with probably a noticeable quizzical expression on my face as I studied the text. Debating whether or not to reply when the device went off again. The text taking me by shock.

    Jennie: Come pet me Lisa.

    Alright so Jennie wasn't dense or annoyingly thick skulled; she was drunk clearly because no one in their sober mind would text another asking to come over and pet them. Well no one that I have had the pleasure of meeting.

    Part of me wanted to play along with that text alone and see how far this conversation would go but the other reasoning half thought it be best to call it a night and leave Jennie to her friends; plus how interesting would texting a drunk Jennie be?

    Again my cell went off.

    Jennie: LisBear....

    I couldn't help at this entertaining moment with Jennie's pleading; whoever thought about giving that little munchkin alcohol was either not thinking or maybe they were in order to relax princess tightly bond.

    Again my cell vibrated and I assumed it was going to be another interesting message from Jennie; once again I was wrong. It was Suelgi Kang.

    Suelgi: Bammy says you're swinging by! Well hurry up loser! ;p

    Laughing at my friends eager and inpatient text I had received from another excited friend of mine that was laying in wait for my presence.

    Lisa: On my way chill and who are you calling loser peasant?

    A smile formed on my lips and a laugh in my thoughts, my fingers danced along the keys of the device when soon the unpleasant ding ding dinging from the gas pump was finally heard telling me I could go.

    Walking into the small convenient store to pay I grabbed a few snackable items and a few energy drinks as Bambam had so politely asked before cashing out.

    While waiting to pay the man behind the counter for the gas and what passed as food my eyes wondered around the miniature market feeling an odd sense of familiarity, I mean I must have driven past here or stopped here maybe a million times yet god for the life of me I couldn't remember why this everyday run of mile gas stop seemed important.

    Shrugging my shoulders I tried to shoo the thought away as it stirred around in my own head as something like this would be something I would have to grow us to once I leave Melbourne and heads towards New York; I was accepted to one among many of the states most prestigious colleges; Brown University with an academic scholarship even though I haven't chosen a specific academic path yet; Although I was thinking Mechanical Engineering.

    Anyone you asked couldn't argue that I was a bit if not completely and on edge, eager to start packing. I have waited months if not years to get the hell out of dodge with this city and greatly trade it for another and start a new chapter in my life.

    A lot would assume that after I transferred to St. Augustine's private school that I would've obtained my new beginning; sadly no as what had happened sophomore year and the extended affect Somi's torment went further than expected, lucky for the schools zero bullying tolerance I hadn't received as much dismay as I might have faced at Melbourne High.

  I felt a single tear run down my cheek as anger pitied in my stomach, warming my body at the unsettling memory.

 God, Now I really can't wait to get the hell out of this personal prison and the constant torment I endured practically each time I turn around; my move in date couldn't get here fast enough.

    Finally leaving the store and settling into my car the vibrations of my cell went off again in my pocket with yet another text from Jennie asking me to come back.

    Rolling my eyes I tossed the device on the passenger seat, ignoring the notification and silencing the cell as I wasn't going to placate Jennie's drunken antics anymore tonight.

    I started to zone out as I drove out of the gas station, my thoughts becoming distant and dim like the lights that passed in the review mirror; it was like I was on autopilot making my way to Bambam's place.

    Taking a few moments to compose myself before facing whatever interrogation awaited for me around back in the clubhouse inhaling another deep breath before getting out of my car; knowing it was inevitable to just run since I was well aware that Bambam would just bombard me with even more questions about my absence.

    Walking to the back of Bambam's family home and to the backyard approaching the converted shed Bambam and his father fixed a few summers ago making it a two level loft. Reminiscing about the summer and everything that happened before it there were no other words than extremely grateful for the distraction Bambam and the others provided by enlisting me to help restore life into this once decaying pile of wood.

    The once sickly green chipped paint was stripped and sanded down before being covered by a light storm gray with a black contrasted door that added a certain type of elegance into the loft as I knocked on the door.

    "Hey! Finally the disappearing woman arrives!" Bambam greeted me enthusiastically with a giant smile on his face, pulling me into his tall six foot slim muscular form.

    "And she brought goodies." I chuckled holding up the plastic bag presenting it to Bamabm causing his baby brown eyes to glow with an almost innocent gleam to them.

    "Yes! You rock Lisaa" Bambam expressed pulling me into another hug before stepping aside letting me in the eight by twelve open floor plan lost.

    "Love what you've done with the place Bam." I spoke looking back around the space taking it all in with a mental picture since the last time I had stepped into the eight by twelve foot old club house it was still a construction sight. Now it a had a certain rustic yet embracing charm and warmth with modern amenities. The living room had a reclaimed wood ceiling and an exposed exterior stone wall that gave it a sort of cabin type feel bringing nature within the building.

    "I know right? Not so man cave-ish as before." Spoke Suelgi Kang appearing from the kitchen; her long red hair was straighten as it dangled a little bit past her cleavage as her black eyes were almost other worldly being complemented by the tight black tank that seductively hugged her petite curvy frame.

    "Yeah, this once rotting pile of wood is actually I don't know; pretty homey." Shrugged the fourth member of this merry band of misfits Jisoo Kim or Chu as she preferred. The Korean resided on the couch that doubled as a pull out bed running her tan fingers through her slicked back jet black hair that curled around his ears and the nape of her neck. Her hazel brown eyes looking at me while I entered the room; her arm wrapping around Suelgi's waist.

    I rolled my eyes at the primitive action even though part of me still found some humor in the fact that Jisoo had a sour spot of jealousy coursing through her.

    Suelgi was a cute girl no lie about that but I do have some honor and would never go after another friends girl; intentionally. Nah, who Jisoo should keep an eye on is Bambam. He was just as good as me when it came to this game.

    "So Lisa. You going to explain what happened between you and princess goodie-goodie?" Bambam asked tossing me a beer.

    I never understood why Bambam constantly offered me alcohol when he knew I normally don't partake in Juvenile past time, just like I had told the girl at the club tonight me and drinking tends to lead to bad decisions. Although I will admit I had two maybe three drinks at Jennie's place but nothing that would cause me to loose control as that fight we had sobered me pretty fast.

    "Probably nothing." Jisoo spoke with a humorous chuckle in her words.

    "What's that suppose to mean?" I asked bitterly with a glare in my eyes.

    "That you struck out with sister Saint Jennie and her holy virginity." Suelgi mocked placing her palms together as if praying.

    "Don't feel bad Lisa, she turns everyone down. Heard the other day that's why she and her boy toy Kai Kim split; she didn't wanna put out." Bambam spoke filling me in on some of the lasted MHS gossip and drama which mostly Suelgi did. Since I transferred he and the others were the only people I kept contact with after; everything.

    "Well he was kind of a pig. Let alone asshole as well." Suelgi added before taking a swig of her drink.

    "Bullshit. You're telling me that little Miss PomPoms is a virgin?" I asked skeptically.

    "Tis true. She even said no to our boy Bambam, turning him down as well a few weeks ago." Jisoo answered with a mick tone of upset but found it amusing.

    Bambam who was unamused flipped Jisoo off before claiming his seat in the recliner that was kiddie cornered next to the couch just under the stairs.

    "Melbourne High School's own Sister Celibacy." Suelgi laughed taking another drink.

    "Oh god do you remember the chastity club?" Bambam's loud laugh echoed off the walls.

    "Chastity club? Seriously?" I scoffed in disbelief assuming that my friends were joking.

    "Kind of. It was more of a... god what did she call it? A promise petition?" Jisoo commented correcting Bambam's statement.

     "Again what?" I asked laughing. 

    "Yeah. Wasn't it something presented at some safe s*x thing during s*x ed." Suelgi spoke contributing to the conversation.

    "Yes! I remember it was like 'the best protection is waiting' or something like that." Bambam agreed.

    "When did all of this happen?" I asked curiously to everything I had missed out on.

    "Umm not that long after you left actually. I think with what happen itmight have given her the idea." Jisoo answered clearing her throat.

    "So you're making fun of Jennie because she saw a traumatizing situation with a horrible outcome of a possible STD so she wanted to make a stand on how we can protect ourselves? What if I did get something? Would you laugh at me? Would I be part of this mockery as a target?" I spat at my friends with anger in my words and a fire in my eyes at this childishness. "Further more maybe it is a smart choice to wait instead of being a 24/7 hump and dump factory." I added.

    "Jeez Lis don't get all sensitive on us." Suelgi scoffed rolling her eyes at me.

    "Don't comp an attitude with me Suelgi. You would probably benefit in signing the thing since god knows what you might have contracted." I bellowed standing from my seat seeing the other girl shrink in her spot.

    "Oh, think we struck a nerve picking on Lisa's little girlfriend." Bambam laughed sitting back in his chair.

    "Please, Jennie means nothing to me except another possible lay." I spat with venomous lies escaping my lips. I mean true she didn't mean anything special to me personally since I didn't really know her and she wasn't important in my life, but also I didn't see her as another lay or as another notch in my belt.

    "Hmm, I smell a bet." Bambam spoke. The tone in his voice and devilish grin gave me an unsettling sickening knot in my stomach.

    "What?"

    "I bet you can't get Sister Chastity to sleep with you." Bambam proposed as if seeming pleased with himself.

    "Okay, what would make you even fathom the idea that I'd even take you up on that bet?" I asked crossing my arms.

    "Cause chica you'd be like... a legend! Getting Melbourne High’s BIGGEST if not only virgin to give it up to you; like I said legend." Jisoo answered with zero conclusive facts.

    "And what would be at stake if I was dumb enough to take this bet?" I asked again out of curiosity even though I knew my own stupidity level was increasing.

    "Your car." Bambam answered with no hesitation in his response.

    "Come again?"

    "Did I stutter? If you can't get Princess Purity to sleep with you by the end of the month I get that sweet whip of yours." Bambam explained.

    "And if I can what do I get?" I asked wanting to know what my winnings were other than bragging rights.

    "This. I'll let you have the loft when you move back from college." He spoke with his arm stretched out.

    The perverted idea crossed my mind as I weighted out the pros and cons of this ludicrous proposal; although the odds did lean closer in my favor.

    I did happen to see how Jennie was checking me out when I arrived at her party and again when we were alone and I was half dressed in her room. The color her cheeks turned was a dead give away that she was into me.

    "Okay, but only one exception."

    "And what is that?" Bambam asked.

    "You only get my car for a year while I'm away. I maybe egotistical enough for taking this bet but I'm not stupid enough to make it permit." I debited drawing my line in the sand.

    "Okay Manoban we got a deal." Bambam leaned forward with his hand out waiting to seal the deal.

    Apart of me hesitated secretly regretting this bad decision but knew it was too late to back out now. Enclosing my hand with Bambam's the deal was set and bet was made.

    "Deal."