Captivated

Chapter 4: Rotten Secrets

Ilang beses ko nang hinampas ang binti ko dahil sa mga lamok na iyan. Gumawa sila ng bonfire pero hindi naman ako makalapit doon dahil sa dami nila. Kaya nakaupo lang ako sa likuran nila. Dito sa matigas na trosong ito.

Sumulyap sa akin si Rex. Inirapan ko siya bago kinain ang nag-iisang barbeque'ng hawak ko. It's for my dinner. Nakakatamad naman kaseng kumain sa ganitong lugar.

Tinapon ko sa kung saan ang stick at naglakad sa tent kung nasaan ang kusina. Kahit hindi ako lumingon, alam kong nakatingin silang lahat sa akin. As if naman tatakas ako sa ganitong kadilim na lugar. I'm not insane.

After kong mag toothbrush ay ibinalik ko iyon sa drawer, kung saan walang makakakita. I know naman na may kanya-kanya silang gamit but I don't want to risk a chance of someone using my personal thing. Hindi ito akin pero since ako ang unang gumamit, syempre akin na ang toothbrush na ito.

May maliit na liwanag dito dahil sa maliit na ilaw. Tingin ko ay gumagana iyon dahil sa solar energy. Kung matalino sila, sana ay naglagay na sila ng solar panel para mapaliwanag ang buong lugar na ito.

Nang lumabas ako ay naagaw ko na naman ang atensyon nila. But I don't care. Nakakapagod ang araw na ito kahit wala naman akong ibang ginagawa kung hindi ang umupo. Well, they keep on throwing me orders to do some things and their nonsense errands. But they're out of their mind if they think I'll follow them.

Kinuha ko ang towel na ginamit ko na nakasabit sa sanga ng isang mababang puno. Pumasok ako sa CR para maglinis. I miss bubble bathing!

Sino ba naman kase ang gugustuhing tumira rito? Kapag nalaman ito ni mommy, naku talaga!

After kong maglinis ay sinampay ko ulit ang towel. Abala na sila sa kung anumang walang kwentang pinag-uusapan nila kaya dumiretso ako sa tent ni Rigel. Hindi naman n'ya ako napansin pero alam kong alam n'yang dito ako pupunta.

Sobrang dilim talaga dito sa loob. Wala na nga akong makita. Kinapa ko ang isang maliit na bintana. Binuhol ko ang tela noon para naman kahit papaano ay may pumasok na liwanag mula sa buwan. Madilim pa rin pero ayos na. Parang lamp shade lang. Paano kaya n'ya naicha-charge ang laptop n'ya? Through solar din? Meron ba noon dito?

Nagkibit-balikat ako. That's not my thing to discover. I'm not here for documentation. And as if naman I'll stay in this place for long? Huh! They assume.

Lumapit ako sa drawer ni Rigel at kumuha ng isang t-shirt. Kinuha ko ulit ang sweatpants na binigay n'ya sa akin kanina. Hindi ko naman ito sinuot after kong maligo. Pero dahil malamok dito kapag gabi, I should wear this na.

Saan pala matutulog si Rigel? Hindi naman pwedeng magtabi kami. Like hello? Ayaw ko ngang may ibang katabi sa kama.

Bumuntong hininga ako at hindi na lamang iyon pinansin. Humiga ako sa kama at nagtalukbong ng comforter. Hindi na kaylangan ng aircon dahil normal na malamig ang hangin dito. Sobrang lamig na hindi ako makakatulog kung wala ang comforter na ito.

I miss mom. Nasa'n na kaya sila? Bakit naman kaya natagalan sila sa paghahanap sa akin? Nasa Pilipinas pa rin naman siguro kami di ba? O talagang napakahirap lang mahanap ng lugar na ito?

I can't help but get mad. What's about their power? Their money and connections? Todo effort sila para protektahan ako tapos ngayon hindi man lang nila ako mabawi. Samantalang noon, tuwing tatakas ako hindi pa ako nakakahinga nang maluwag nakita na kaagad nila ako.

Maybe it's better. Maybe it's better to be away from them. To breathe on my own. To do what I wanted. Maybe it's all better in some circumstances. Me, away from my parents but not here... without these kidnappers.

"What the hell!" sigaw ko nang may biglang humila ng comforter. I thought it's a monster because of his silhouette. But when he shouted too, it's my kidnapper.

"What!?" mas malakas na sigaw n'ya. Umupo ako sa kama at masama s'yang tiningnan though hindi n'ya nakikita dahil nawala na ang liwanag. Siguro ay tinakpan na naman n'ya.

Bakit bigla s'yang pumapasok?

"A-Anong ginagawa mo rito?" Dahan-dahan kong hinila ang comforter sa kanya. Napatalon ako nang marahas n'ya iyong inagaw.

"Get up."

Nagsalubong ang kilay ko. Bago pa man ako nakapagsalita ay marahas na n'yang hinila ang braso ko. Napatayo ako dahil sa higpit at sakit.

"Wait—Outch!" Napaluhod ako sa carpet dahil sa pagtulak n'ya.

Kinuyom ko ang kamao ko para mapigilan ang sarili kong sampalin s'ya. How-dare-he?

Kapag nakaalis ako rito, hahayaan ko si daddy kung anuman ang gusto nilang gawin sa kanya!

"Sleep."

Umirap ako sa kawalan. Ginawa pa akong aso! Pero anong sabi n'ya? Dito ako matutulog? Sa carpet? No way!

Tumayo ako at sinilip s'ya. Nakahiga na s'ya sa kama. It's like he did nothing wrong! The nerve of this kidnapper!

"I-I'm not gonna sleep on the carpet." Maingay akong lumunok nang humarap s'ya sa akin. I can't see his face clearly but I know how dangerous he is staring me down now, as always.

"Sleep," he warned with authority.

But hell! Hindi nga ako pwedeng matulog sa carpet! I don't want to!

Pwede naman siguro kaming dalawa sa kamang iyan. "I-I can't."

Napaatras ako nang bigla s'yang tumayo. Too quick his hand is on my neck, taking my breath away. I'm starting to panic. Ngayon lang tumatak sa utak ko ang lahat. They are my kidnappers and they are capable of hurting me... even killing me with their bare hands whenever they wanted.

Humawak ako sa kamay n'ya para pigilan pero mas lalo lang dumidiin ang pagsakal n'ya sa akin. Tinulak ang dibdib n'ya, ngayon ko lang napansin na wala s'yang suot pang itaas. His chest is firm, even his muscles. I don't think I can push him to stop. He stiffened from the contact of my hands to his body and quickly swiped my hands off him.

I wanted to shout for help. But I fvcking know there's no one out there who can help me. And as if I can shout with his grip. I wanted to beg but I didn't! If he wants to kill me then be it!

"Just sleep, damn it!" Marahas n'ya akong binitawan dahilan para tumama ang likod ko sa sofa. Napangiwi ako sa sakit. I held my neck while I'm still choking, trying to catch my breath. I could still feel his rough hand on my neck.

He is cruel. He is heartless. I hate him! Send him to hell right now!

Bumalik s'ya sa kama. Ilang sandali ay pinilit ko ang sarili kong maupo sa sofa. Masakit pa rin ang likod ko. For sure, it will leave bruises. I hate this heartless for that!

Ipinatong ko ang baba ko sa tuhod. I bit my lower lip to control myself from crying. The last time I cried was at Stan's funeral. There's no way I'll cry just because this psychopath and heartless kidnapper of mine hurt me. No way!

Pumipikit na ang mga mata ko nang maramdaman ang lamig. Tahimik akong tumayo at kinuha ang damit na hinubad ko kanina. Hindi ko alam kung may extra s'yang kumot. Ayaw ko ring makialam kaya itong damit na ito na lang ang gagamitin ko.

I promise I'll make my own way to get out of this hell. If my parents can't, I'm sure I can.

---

Ngumiwi ako dahil sa sakit ng batok at katawan ko. I can't believe I did sleep in that position. Medyo maliwanag dahil sa maliit na bintana. Siguro ay binuksan iyon ni Rigel. Ilang beses akong nanginig kagabi dahil sa lamig. Malamig pa rin naman ang simoy ng hangin. But the sunshine gives me enough warmth.

"O-Outch." Hindi ko alam na sasakit ng ganito ang likod ko. Dapat siguro ay sa carpet na lang ako natulog. Sleeping in a two-seater sofa? I never imagined myself on it before.

Ilang sandali akong tumingin sa kawalan bago nagpas'yang lumabas ng tent. Naririnig ko ang usapan nila pero wala akong naiintindihan dahil masyado silang malayo.

Pumikit ako nang tumama sa akin ang sinag ng araw. Everyday is really another day. And I hope today my parents will find me.

Sa incredible dining table nila, naroon silang lahat. I mean, ang ilan lang dahil ang iba ay may kanya-kanyang ginagawa.

Kung wala doon si Rigel ay tatarayan ko ang mga goons n'ya dahil sa ginawa n'ya sa akin kagabi. Ayaw ko na iyong sundan kaya tahimik akong lumapit sa kanila.

"Miss."

Nagtaas ako ng kilay kay 'kakampi ko raw'. I don't know if he's an attention seeker or what. Alam naman siguro n'ya na kung tatawagin n'ya ako ay mapapansin s'ya ng lahat. Unless, may ibang 'miss' dito.

Tinuro n'ya ang mga pagkain. Saglit kong binalingan si Rigel na nakatingin sakin with his usual poker face. Umirap ako kay 'kakampi ko raw' bago dumiretso sa CR. Oh wait! Matt nga pala ang pangalan n'ya.

Isang araw pa lang ako rito ay lalo akong namutla. Pinagmasdan ko ang fingerprints ni Rigel sa leeg ko. If Stan sees this, he might say that the person really wanted to kill me. Itinaas ko ang damit ko para tingnan ang likod ko. Their mirror here in their incredible CR was big enough for me to see half of myself. Ngumiwi ako sa mas malaking pasa.

Sa tuwing naaalala ko ang nangyari kagabi, hindi ko maiwasang magtaka. Galit ako. I hate him for k********g and hurting me. But I also can't keep on thinking why. Why he has those looks that could kill? Why all of this? They kidnapped me but they don't need my parent's money. And my life? Kahit naman na pasaway ako, wala akong natatandaang nakaaway ko para gawin ito sa akin.

Maybe my parents? Rex said they don't need my parents' money. Maybe it's about business rival... pero wala rin naman akong natatandaan na nakaaway nila daddy. Though nakakapagtaka ang over security na ibinibigay n'ya sa amin. Noong buhay pa si Stan ay wala namang ganoon. Their creepiness only started after Stan's accident.

Is it connected? Is everything connected? Is it possible that Stan's death wasn't an accident as I overheard from my parents?

No. No way. That's highly publicized. Everyone knows, even the police and investigators told us that it's a mere accident.

I don't want to overthink. I don't want to think Stan died over someone's will. He's too good for god sake! No one would want him dead!

"He's hurting you," Matt says. Hindi ko s'ya pinansin at tinuloy ang pagto-toothbrush. He has the guts to follow me here. Hindi ko nga alam kung nanadya na ba s'ya. "Talk to me if you want to get out of here," mariin ngunit halos bulong n'yang sinabi.

I looked at the door after I'm done. I mean, the curtain of this tent serves as the door. And I knew it, he jumped off as if someone overheard him.

He's keeping something!

"What exactly do you want me to say?" I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned on the wooden sink behind me.

"Anything. If you want to escape, then we'll have a plan."

I almost laughed. Plan. He has a plan for me to escape. How ridiculous! Baka nakakalimutan n'yang isa s'ya sa mga kidnappers dito. Not a victim like me!

Nagtaas ako ng isang kilay. "You think I'll believe you? Do you really think I'll believe someone who wants to betray his group?"

"Hindi ko pwedeng sabihin sayo ang lahat." He gulped. "Pero maaasahan mo ako." And with that, he left me hanging alone.

Umirap ako sa kawalan. I'm not insane to believe him. He may look cool and a good boy but there's still something in his eyes telling me it's the other way around.

Days passed in a blur. Apat na araw na ako rito pero wala pa rin ang parents ko. Kung minsan gusto ko na lang umiyak pero hindi. I need to control myself. I know all of this has something to do with my family, and of Stan's death. But not with me! I know I'm the victim here. And to think that it's my family's fault, I feel sick.

Kung sila ang may dahilan dito, I don't know if I still want to go back. I don't know if I'm safe with them. All I wanted is to get rid of this s**t and know everything. As in everything.

Tahimik na inilahad sa akin ni Matt ang timba ng tubig. Lumingon ako sa paligid. Nasa loob ng tent si Rigel, kaharap ang laptop. Tanging si Rex lang ang nakatingin sa direksyon namin. May hawak s'yang dyaryo pero sa akin nakatingin. Tumango ako kay Matt at tulad ng palagid n'yang ginagawa nitong mga nakaraang araw, binuhat n'ya ang dalawang timba sa loob ng CR. S'ya rin ang nagpuno noon.

I never asked for his help neither asked him to do that for me. He just simply fills the water and brings inside the CR. Ginagawa n'ya iyon sa tuwing alam n'yang maliligo ako. Hindi ko alam kung alam iyon ni Rigel o hindi na lang talaga n'ya pinapansin.

"May ilog sa malapit," si Matt nang akmang papasok na ako sa loob. Nagtaas ako ng isang kilay. Ano namang gagawin ko sa ilog? "Malinis ang tubig doon, pwede ka ring mali—"

Tinaas ko ang kanang kamay ko para pigilin s'ya. Bahagya akong natawa, in a sarcastic way. "Sinasabi mo bang maligo ako sa ilog na iyon?"

"Malinis iyon at medyo malalim," seryosong sinabi n'ya kaya nawala ang ngiti ko. Is he really serious!?

I tilted my head and crossed my arms. "Are you tired of doing this job for me? I never asked for your help anyway."

His jaw clenched and I can say he was near to losing his patience. Well, if he really is on my side then, he needs to gain my trust. And if not, it's his loss.

Pagkatapos kong maligo—I don't know if you could call that a bath, ay nakita kong wala na si Matt. Ganoon din si Rex. Habang naglalakad ako palapit sa incredible dining table ay halos mabali naman ang leeg ng mga villains kakatingin sa akin.

Ayaw ko talaga ng ganoon but I'm used to it now. As what Rigel said, his men are craving for women. That's one creepy thing but the good thing here is they never laid hands on me, or even approach me. Except sa lalaking nag-uutos sa akin palagi na linisan ang pinagkainan, whom I learned named Steve.

Tanging ang lapis at dyaryo ang nasa table. The page is in entertainment. Ang date issue ng newspaper ay nitong linggo lang, last Friday, the day after they kidnapped me.

Sinuklay ko ang buhok ko gamit ang aking mga daliri. I smells like Rigel. Part of me hated that fact and the other half says it's fine rather than having the smell of his men.

I used the pencil to put my hair in a lazy bun. Kinuha ko ang dyaryo at binuklat. My heart skipped a bit when I reached the front page.

YANES' PRINCESS RUNAWAY says the headline.

Bago ko pa man maproseso ang nabasa ko, someone snatched the paper from me. I paused for a moment. I don't know how I should react. I stared blankly at Rigel whose eyes were staring back at me and his vacant face.

I loudly gulped. "They didn't know," I whispered. "They didn't know," I repeated more to myself as I looked away.

My parents thought I runned away! Wala silang alam sa kung anong nangyayari sa akin? Paano iyon nangyari?

He cleared his throat pero hindi s'ya nagsalita.

"Are... are my goons all dead? Those who were with me the night you took me? They're still alive right?" I looked straight in his eyes. My voice is unbelievably soft. "And my parents found that place. Right?" I looked around when he didn't answer.

So I shouldn't blame my parents for taking so long because they have no idea what's happening to me! Yes, that's it. But it is still hard to believe. How come? They thought I'm a runaway daughter? I never tried. Oo, tumatakas ako para makapag-isip at makahinga nang maayos, malayo sa pagiging paranoid nila pero hindi ko inisip na lumayo nang tuluyan sa kanila! What made them think I'd do that?

"Of course they know," Rigel suddenly said mercilessly.

Nagsalubong ang kilay ko at tinuro sa kanya ang dyaryong hawak aniya. "It-It says there."

"You don't know your parents, huh?" he cooly said, his voice was dripping with mockery. "They know what happened to you. They're not sure but I know they have an idea who f*****g have you. Craving for security right? Why do you think so?"

Hindi ako sumagot. This is the longest conversation we ever have. And the longest words he ever said.

"They don't want the media to know," he continued.

I still can't speak. I don't know if it's the calmness of his voice or the way his breath fanned my face.

"They care more about their names. If the media finds out, they'll ask why. They're afraid their rotten secrets will spread like wildfire to the public."

Umiling ako sa mga sinasabi n'ya, hindi makapaniwala. "My parents don't have any rotten secrets. Whatever you think of them were purely a lie and false accusations," mariing sinabi ko. Umatras ako nang isang beses siyang humakbang. It's early in the morning and despite of the blinding sunlight, he is the only one I am seeing.

His fist turned into a ball as his jaw clenched tight. "You want to know? It's not their fault because they acted like they didn't know."

"They aren't acting!" I shouted to his face and as fast as he was, he was instantly gripping my forearm again.

"Then let's send them the good news, and see how they'll continue with act," he whispered deadly into my ear.