Theo

Hoe

With Tania away, I decided to just stay at Phil's house.

    I knew Harrison would keep trying to meet with Phil and I . . . I don’t know.  Something just didn’t feel right about letting Harrison do that to Phil.  I mean, I guess it’s not up to me but I could certainly be a decent c**k block.  It was while we were watching Bleach that Phil suggested I go home since tomorrow is Christmas Eve.

    “Why?  We’re watching a movie,” I said, gesturing to the TV.  Like I don’t know why.  He’d been hinting that I should go hang out with Trey or Mac for the past few days.  I wasn’t biting.

    “I know what you’re doing,” Phil said, frowning at me.

    “Hm?” I asked innocently.

    “I want to hang out with Harrison,” Phil grumbled.

    “Invite him over,” I said, smiling sweetly.

    “You . . . do you think you being here will stop us from—“

    “From what?”

    His cheeks flooded with color.  This time it was outrage.  “You spend all of your time with Tania.  What if I stepped in the way of your time with her?”

    “She’s my girlfriend,” I pointed out.

    Phil rolled his eyes.  “So should I make him my boyfriend?  If we give each other titles will you go home?” he asked, exasperated.

    I thought about it and frowned.  “No.  Don’t date that guy.  He sucks.”  I reached into my back pocket, pulling out the list of reasons why Harrison sucks I’d whipped up during a time of personal introspection a couple nights ago while Phil had been ignoring me.  “Here.”

    He took it, frowning at me.  When he opened it, his eyes literally rolled back in his head.  That was how dramatic the eye roll was.  “Face.  Attitude. Voice.  What’s wrong with you?”

    I chuckled at my own pettiness.  “Did you like my drawing?”

    “You drew a stick figure with an L on its forehead!”  He tried to throw the drawing at me but it just fell right next to him which just made it funnier.

    “Hey!  Don’t ruin my masterpiece!”  I was laughing now, reaching for it.  He snatched it before I could, crumping it in his hand.  “That’s cold,” I muttered, trying to grab his arm.  He shoved his hand behind his back, laughing as he climbed backwards, trying to get away.  I caught his leg, dragging him closer as he kicked, grabbing at his arms, trying to get that paper out of his fingers.  I was thinking he was so small when I turned and realized how close we were.  Chest to chest, his hand in mine, and he was laughing—until he realized I wasn’t anymore.  His expression shifted, like he was suddenly sober, and he quickly handed me the paper, taking a measured scoot backward, away from me.  Weird.  “Uh,” I said, calmly, scratching the back of my neck.  “Ha.  It’s a realistic drawing.”  He seemed nervous for some reason, eyes carefully averted.  Okay.  That was weird.  Why did it get weird?

    Why did I just get weird?

    He was fighting a smile.  “Theo, I’m serious.  I, um, need some alone time.”  But he wasn’t going to be alone.  I grimaced, thinking about Harrison touching Phil.  Phil should be with an upstanding guy.  Somebody decent.  Maybe even religious.  “Theo, please.”  I watched him press his thighs together, gripping his knees.  He looked . . . frustrated.  Was he sexually frustrated?  Why couldn’t he just touch himself like a normal guy?  Handle his own needs?  Why Harrison?  He glared at me, “Theo! Go!”

    Fine. I rolled my eyes, standing up.  I went to leave the room but hesitated, glancing back at Phil who was already pulling out his phone to call his little hoe buddy so they could be hoes together.  “I just want you to know that I don’t approve,” I said seriously, raising my eyebrows.  He glared up at me and I held his gaze, standing there, hesitating.  I wasn’t even sure why I was hesitating.  I just wanted him to tell me to stay, maybe.  To tell Harrison the Hoe to stay away.  We should at least finish our movie.

    “Out, Theo.”

    Huffing, I left.  What happened to bros before hoes?

. . .

Mom and Dad went out on a date and Violet was holed up in her room alone so I called Trey.  He was already at the ice skating rink with Mac, Leo, Chelsea, and a few other people.  I had zero interest in being a part of a group involving Chelsea and Leo if I didn’t have Tania with me—the PDA was just gag worthy—so I wound up in my bedroom, lying in bed, sulking.

    How long would Harrison the Hoe be over there?

    And if they were just jerk mates then why did they seem so hot and heavy before?  So much kissing for no reason.  Harrison’s mouth had been all over his neck—I wondered where else he put it on Phil’s body.  Ew.  My mouth went sour at that thought.  Why was I visualizing this anyway?

    And how could Phil pass me up in experience?  And with a guy, no less.  What the hell?

    I mean, Tania and I only kissed, really.  And sure, Trey made it to third base with Cassie once but that’s not the norm.  At least, I don’t think it is.  He’s just a player.

    Picking up a ball, I bounced it against my wall, catching it mindlessly, thinking about how boring it was without Tania.  I wasn’t even sure if I missed her or just needed a decent distraction.  Something to think about other than worrying about Phil’s terrible life choices.

. . .

When I woke up, it was to a thumping on my bedroom door.

    I blinked, watching the doorknob rattle.  It couldn’t be mom.  She’d already be hollering about me locking my bedroom door again.  I thought it might be Phil and was about to get up when I heard--

    “Bro!”

    “How the hell is he still asleep?”

    “It’s like ten in the morning, dude!”

    “I’m trying to make this money, boy!”

    Definitely not Phil.  I rolled my eyes.  Oh no.  This could only mean one thing:  Heavy snowfall last night.  Grumbling, I went to open the door and found the three goons dressed in heavy winter gear.  “What are you doing?  Hurry up,” Trey complained, shoving me.

    “Who said I’m coming?” I complained, even as I headed back to my closet to get warmer clothes.  Of course I was going.  They know how I feel about—

    “The money did,” Mac hollered.  “We shoveled out two cars on the way here.  Made fifteen bucks each.  What do you even know about that?”

    “I know you’re a pain in the ass,” I offered.

    “Aw, somebody’s grumpy,” Casey said in a goofy voice.

    “Man, shut up.  And my mom asks why I lock the damn door.” I just pulled on some sweats and kicked on some shoes, shaking out my hair.

    “Bruh, like the door isn’t locked so you can enjoy some redhead in private,” Trey mocked, pointing up toward my ceiling.

    Casey gasped, glancing up at my poster, “Bruh!  When did that get there?”

    “Damn, I mean I’m not into gingers but she’s alright though,” Mac muttered.

    “Get the hell out of my room,” I said, stomping out.

    They all just laughed, causing a scene as we stumbled through the house.  My parents were cuddled up on the couch already, nestled in with Christmas movies.  “I’m surprised you could get him up,” my mom chimed, winning big smiles from the guys.  They love my mom.  She’s always baking some kind of dessert, sending some with me to school for them.

    “Shovel is in the garage,” was my dad’s response, just as quickly dismissing them.

    “Thanks dad,” I muttered, heading out toward the garage.  My hunting jacket was out there, not that I went hunting often.  Just a couple times with my uncle Frank who has my dad beat for being the wild one of the family.  Mom calls him a knucklehead which is kind of accurate, actually.  I pulled on the jacket, grabbed the shovel and we headed outside to collect the rest of their supplies.

    Mac held the shovel up like Excalibur.  “I!  Am!  Worthy!”

    Just as quickly, Casey hit Mac in the stomach with the handle of his.  “Too damn loud.”

    “Bunch of chuckleheads,” Trey rolled his eyes beside me as Mac chased after Casey.

    I grinned, shaking my head.  I'd asked for a distraction, hadn't I?  This would work.

    Snowed in?  Just call 1-800-GOONSQUAD.