Yes, Master

Chapter 12: Let It Go

Master held me in his arms until he was fully satisfied. Once he was, he discarded my limp body and left with a sliding of the lock at my door. 

I was too weak to move, think, or even breathe. My body was feeling an agonizing pain, yet my mind was completely blank. I stayed crumpled up on the floor for what felt like an eternity. 

Soon enough the darkness outside my stall was replaced with the creeping light of daybreak. As the light continued to brighten my stall, thoughts started to slowly creep back into my head.

I still couldn't believe I was in this situation. Nor could I believe that I was under the control of a sick, sadistic, mythical creature. If it weren't for the scars surrounding my aching body, I might have believed this was all a terrible dream. 

I was ripped out of my thoughts by a door opening and footsteps echoing through the barn. Two other doors were slid open and locked tight, before the front doors slammed shut once more. I heard rustling and coughs coming from the other stalls in the worn down and musty building. I knew the other slaves had come back for the night, but I didn't care. They never made an attempt to talk to me or let me know what was going on. 

That's why I was beyond surprised when a voice broke through the stalls. It wasn't the soft and timid voice of the girl who fixed me up, but a different, strong one, that pierced my ears. 

"Are you okay, M?" The voice asked into the air. I knew it wasn't talking to me, I had no idea who 'M' was. 

"Yeah, I'm okay, Bridgit. What happened this morning? Master seemed in an unusually bad mood." This voice was the shy and quiet one I was used to, the girl who fixed me. 

"Well, he was like that in the beginning because I gave him a hard time this morning. I told him he could screw himself, and that I was done cleaning his house." The girl that was Bridgit responded. 

"Oh. Are you okay? What did he do?" The quiet voice that was M's responded.

"Nothing out of the ordinary. You heard him yelling." Bridgit's voice sounded sad, yet determined as she spoke.

After that small conversation, the barn was quiet once again.  It was maddening knowing that there were two others here, in the same situation as I was, and they acted like I wasn't there. An idea struck me, and I decided to try something new. 

"Is someone there?" My voice was weak and barely heard. I tried again, a little louder. "Hello? B-Bridgit? M?" 

There was no response. A sob broke through me. 

"P-Please. If someone is there, please answer me. I-I..." Desperation sunk into my voice. I hadn't realized how lonely I was, and how much I missed people's voices. The only ones that had spoken to me over the past week wanted to kill me. 

The silence in the barn grew louder and longer. It was never ending. Once I realized the others weren't going to talk to me, I surrendered myself to my thoughts and tears. They ran down my face and I realized how alone I really was. I had thought that if I could at least talk to someone, my time here would be less tortuous. Normally I like being alone, but having been stuck within these 4 walls I started to realize how much I missed talking to people. Just talking, it didn't even have to be about anything important. I missed having pointless, filler conversations about the weather. I missed watching people's facial expressions as they animatedly told a story. I missed my life. 

With nothing but my thoughts to occupy my time, they started to wander to the life I left behind. If only I had known what was going to happen when I ran to that building to save Haley. Had I known what I was getting myself into, would I still have gone and tried to take her place? Probably. I would've done anything for her.

I miss her so much. Even if we didn't always get along, she was all I had. When Mom and Dad died, we bonded a lot. We both realized how fragile life is, and it made us cherish our moments together. Even when she started dating Derek, she would come home at night and we would laugh and talk until we fell asleep. A single tear ran down my face as I remembered my life.

I decided then, that it was time to move on. I wasn't forgetting my life or the ones who left me behind, only finding closure within myself to let them go for a time. The only way I was going to be with my family again was if I died, and that wasn't coming anytime soon. So, in the meantime, I will not make it worse for myself by dwelling on what I've lost. I thought of my radiant mother, my strong father, and my beautiful sister. I let myself have a moment with each of them in my heart, where I recalled memories, vacations, and even simple conversations. I knew they were dead, along with the life I left behind. But I also knew that the only way that I was going to keep myself sane while living here was to let it all go. I will forever miss my life and family, but let's face it. My life is never going to be the same. 

***

The sun was now shining bright outside my small window. The barn around me was quiet as the others slept. I had figured out by now that everything happened at night, and everyone slept during the day. A completely messed up schedule, that I haven't exactly gotten used to. 

A glare from the midday sun was landing directly in my eyes. I sighed, knowing I would have to move eventually. I was still lying in a heap, the way that Master had left me this morning. I mustered up what strength I had left, and lifted myself up from the ground. Searing pain was sent through both my arms, and the stitches in my stomach threatened to pop with every movement I made. Carefully and tediously, I scooted myself to the farthest corner in my stall, using my legs to move me. Once I reached where the wooden fence met red brick, I sighed and laid my head back against it. I cradled my wrist in my non-broken hand, and held it close to my chest. I had been dreading looking at my injuries all day, but I knew I would have to eventually. 

I started with the least terrifying, lifting up my tattered shirt to see the stitches lining my stomach. My skin was bruised and discolored around the areas with stitches. It was still painful to touch, but I could manage it. It wasn't nearly as bad as it was, and it didn't look infected. 

Next, I looked at my broken wrist. My entire hand was swollen, and was badly bruised. Horrifying colors of blue and yellow danced along my wrist in the shape of fingers. I tried to move it to see how badly it was broken, and almost screamed in pain. Okay. Moving that hand was out of the question. Hopefully it will heal soon. 

Getting to the scarier injuries, I started to inspect the burn on my forearm. It was opposite the arm with the broken wrist, and a little less painful. The blisters were mostly healed, and scabbing had started. They were disgusting, and littered almost every inch of my arm. There was discoloration of my skin where the words were etched in, but I tried to ignore it. 

Now the part I had most feared came. I raised my burnt arm up to my neck, and my fingers found the place where Master had sunk his teeth in. The area was burning and inflamed, and two deep holes punctured my skin. As my fingers gently brushed over them, blood started to ooze out. I took in a deep breath, so as not to scream, and tried calming myself. This sort of thing was unreal, but it had happened to me.

I held back a sob as I let my arm fall gently into my lap. 

I recalled the previous night. This was completely insane, but Master could read my mind. I was doubtful at first, but he more than proved it to me. I remembered his words, which would forever echo through my head. If you think you're dying anytime soon, you are sorely mistaken. It hurt every fiber of my being to admit it, but he was right. No matter how much I wanted to, that monster wasn't going to let me die anytime soon. He loved torturing me.

Of course, I was making it pretty easy for him. My timid nature and wandering thoughts were all he needed for a 'fun' night.

I need to learn to control my thoughts and actions, so that I won't get hurt anymore. I didn't want to be here, and I would take the first chance at death I could, but until then I had to make it easier for myself. I was tired of being injured all the time, and the only way to solve that was to obey Master completely. My breath was caught in my throat as I realized what that entailed. 

Anytime he asked me to do something, I had to do it. Anytime he was around, I couldn't let my thoughts wander. I had to keep addressing him as 'Master'. I couldn't ask questions. I had to look at his terrifying face, but only when he told me to. My mind started listing off all the things that would keep me from getting hurt worse. It was horrible to think this way, to know that I was fully giving in to him. Looking down at my lap, I noticed the words etched there. They seemed to stick out more with every thought I had of how I could obey Master. 

I really was acting like a slave now.