Yes, Master

Chapter 7: Broken

I laid there, pooling in my own blood, for at least an hour. My eyes grew heavy and exhaustion threatened to overtake me, but I refused to fall asleep. I needed to get out of this torture house and back to my room in the barn. How that would happen- I had no idea. I hoped beyond hope that Master wouldn't be the one to come back and get me. If I saw him again I might pass out, just out of pure terror. He scared me beyond what I could handle right now, and I couldn't handle very much. 

With every second that went by I felt myself dropping further and further into despair. Realization was setting in on me like the burn on my arm. I really was a slave now. I was powerless, weak, and there was nothing I could do about it. The longer I laid on the cold concrete floor, the more I felt myself slipping away. I tried desperately to search for some glimmer of hope within me, some spark of light, but to no avail. I had tried to stay strong, and look where it got me! On the verge of death. 

I didn't want to die. I wanted beyond everything to live, just not like this. I couldn't spend my life taking beating after beating. Yes, I wanted to live, but I didn't want to spend my life as a slave. That was no life to live. This thought drove me to despair. Since this was my life now, and there was nothing I could do about it, there was nothing to live for. I mean, let's be realistic. There is no way that I would be able to run away or fight Master off. He is too strong and I would just get punished. But, If I died all this pain and hurt would go away. I would be at peace. I wouldn't have to live under some monster's command. I would be free. 

Death seemed greater with each thought that passed through my mind. I wanted so bad to just succumb to it, but I knew that if I fell asleep death wouldn't come. I was injured extremely badly, but Master had purposely not killed me. He wanted me as his slave. 

The previous thought really hit me this time. That monster had let me live. He let me live! I was on the verge of death and he took me away from my only recluse. Now, I was stuck here in this horrible excuse for a life. Words couldn't comprehend the way I feel right now. I just want to die. There is absolutely no point in going on. I felt so beyond despair that there was nothing I could do, but cry. I cried and screamed at the top of my lungs. I begged someone to kill me, just to end it. My throat soon grew raw from all my screaming, but I didn't care. It's not as if I needed a voice anymore. Sobs racketed through my body and tears stained the floor. I laid there screaming at the heavens for what seemed like a lifetime. I could have stayed there forever too. 

I had finally screamed until when I opened my mouth, no sound would come out. Tears continued to fall down my cheeks as I laid there, hopeless. Suddenly, after all this time of me being locked up here with only my thoughts to torture me, I heard something outside the iron door.I stopped crying momentarily, mostly out of shock. A lock was being slid out of place, and the door was opening. Slowly it inched forward until it was open wide enough for someone to step through. I stared intently at the door. I prayed with all my being that it wasn't Master to come back for me. When he stepped through the door I nearly died all over again.

His cold eyes looked at me with humor. "Are you done screaming for me to kill you yet?" I couldn't believe he had the audacity to mock me. After all he had put me through? I turned my head from him to wallow in despair again, when my eye caught a glimpse of something in his hand. Food. My mouth instantly began to water. He saw me staring at his hands and laughed aloud this time. "Oh, is my little slave hungry?" All I could do was nod intently. It had been almost 4 days since I had anything to eat or drink, and the result of that was starting to weigh upon me.

"Well, why don't you come over to me and get it then?" Master looked at me with danger in his eyes. He knew I couldn't get up and was testing me to see if I would talk back to him. Once I realized he was serious and the only way for me to get the shining red apple was to walk over to him, I almost screamed. He put me through all this torture and now I'm just supposed to walk it off?! Unbelievable. Despite what I thought though, he wasn't going to give me any food until I came over to him. 

I began to muster up all my strength and courage, slowly lifting my good arm to push myself up to my knees. Every bone in my body screamed at me in protest. My stomach gauze shone bright with the color of fresh blood and my arm burned with each movement. I turned over onto my stomach and yelped in pain. I wanted so badly to stop right then, but I had to at least get to my knees. I told myself if I got to my knees I could at least crawl over to him. My good arm went to hoist myself up to one knee, but gave out. Gritting my teeth, I took both my hands and planted them firmly by my sides. Ignoring the pain in my blistering arm, I lifted my stomach off the floor and slid back onto my knees. I smiled a little to myself in approval. Looking up, I saw Master tapping his foot and beginning to grow impatient. I had to move fast if I wanted that apple. I put both hands on the ground again and began to crawl over to the door where he stood. Each time my charred arm moved I winced in pain. I tried, unsuccessfully, to keep the pain off my face. After what seemed like an eternity, I reached Master's tapping foot. I slid back to my knees once again and looked up at him expectedly. 

"How right it is that you kneel before me, slave. However, I woke up with some back pain, so I'm afraid I'm not able to bend down and give you this apple! Oh no. I need you to stand up if you want it." Each word he spoke dripped with a mix of emotions. Sarcasm, disgust, anger, but most of all superiority. He knew I was going to do anything for that apple, or anything he said for that matter. I stared down at the floor and tried desperately to stop the flow of tears that had started. I just need to stand up. That's all. I've done it a million times before. Just take it slow. 

I told myself these things as I slowly lifted one leg. I was growing very weak and dizzy, but I ignored it as I lifted my other leg. I took a deep breath and began to fully stand before my Master. Just as I was getting off the ground, however, my knees buckled and gave way to my weight. I fell to my side heavily and was unable to catch myself. I hit the concrete floor and my head bounced against it, sending another extreme wave of pain through me. The throbbing of my head began, and got worse and worse until I could only see blackness. The last thing I remember before blacking out was the sound of cruel laughter.

I awoke in my stall, in the barn. Light was streaming through the small window high above me, and dirt and hay littered the ground I was passed out on. Someone must have moved me from the torture room, and I was glad I was asleep for that. The pain of walking or being carried would have been unimaginable. 

The growling of my stomach and the undeniable dryness of my mouth woke me fully from my daze. I let out a sob of despair after I remembered fully what had happened the day before. I was so close. Now I would have to suffer through my wounds and starvation. Looking around, I noticed that I was laying on a large pile of hay, with both arms cradling my stomach. I lifted my head, and it was then that I noticed it. 

Sitting in the corner of my room was a shining red apple, paired with a glistening water bottle. If it wasn't for my injuries I would have leapt up right then and ran to the food and water. Instead, I had to tell myself to take it slow. I barely crawled last night, and I didn't want to pass out again from straining myself too much. I slowly and carefully lifted up my head and twisted myself onto my stomach. I hated doing that, but it was the only way I could get to my knees to crawl. Once I had lifted myself up to crawl, I scurried as fast as I could over to the apple and water. Once I reached it though, it disappeared. It wasn't lifted out of my stall, nor had it sunk into the ground. It had just vanished out of thin air. 

I had been hallucinating. 

Once that realization set it a whole new wave of emotion went through me. It was like last night all over again. Only now I had to deal with my mind torturing me too. I just wanted to die and couldn't wait for the day that it could finally happen. I sobbed and screamed until there was nothing left in me.

When I say nothing left, I mean nothing. No more tears would pour down my face, and no more sound would come out of my throat. No more emotion coursed through my body. Instead, I leaned my back against the wall and stared into blank nothingness. There wasn't even a point in crying anymore. I was so beyond anguish that I felt nothing. 

A thought ran through my head that I should check my wounds, but I quickly dismissed it. I wasn't helping myself to get better or live. There was no point. I would rather die of starvation and infection than live to see another day as a slave.